Category Archives: Sermons

Books, Sermons

Strong’s Concordance

49 Comments

Need to write a sermon on a topic but don’t know where to start? Since 1890, Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance has been helping fundamentalists string together verses that contain the same word regardless of their respective contexts. You need proof texts? We got proof texts.

But wait, there’s more! Want to go even deeper and give your message that scholarly air? Jump into the list of 8674 Hebrew and 5624 Greek root words used in the Bible.  Pick the definition of the word that closest fits your preconceived idea of what the passage should say, throw in a healthy dose of Scofield’s notes and away you go!

Order now and we’ll also include a handy guide to Making 1611 English Mean Whatever You Want. This little book is packed to the gills with ways to milk obscure words and obsolete phrases for all the power and prestige you can stand! A $1,348,103 value yours absolutely free!

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, so let’s get dangerous! Operators are standing by.

Sermons

Dubious Source Material: Tocqueville

51 Comments

It would be a rare thing if one could have survived long in fundamentalist circles without hearing the following quote from Alexis de Tocqueville read or alluded to in a sermon:

I sought for the greatness and genius of America in her commodious harbors and her ample rivers – and it was not there . . . in her fertile fields and boundless forests and it was not there . . . in her rich mines and her vast world commerc – and it was not there . . . in her democratic Congress and her matchless Constitution – and it vas not there. Not until I went into the churches of America and heard her pulpits flame with righteousness did I understand the secret of her genius and power. America is great because she is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, she will cease to be great.

Of course there’s an ever so slight problem with this, namely that Alexis de Tocqueville never actually wrote it. I’ll give you a minute to let the fact sink in that a quote that most of us have heard approximately 9,876 times from the pulpit is simply a fabrication.

I’d go so far as to say that as a good rule of thumb, the more frequently quoted a thing is in fundamentalist circles the more apocryphal it is likely to be. Snopes is a fundy preacher’s nightmare.