From The Desk of Dr. James E. Hamenstonadt, Senior Pastor

Re: Notes On This Week’s Men’s Prayer and Pancake Breakfast

Gentlemen And Fellow Soldiers Of The Cross:

I would first like to take this opportunity to thank all those who participated in the Men’s Pancake breakfast this past Saturday morning as well as thanking the members of the Goodwell Fire Department for their quick response time at such an early hour. Thankfully, the fellowship hall structure appears only as damaged as it was before the incident and the smoke damage is contained to mostly to the men’s restroom and adjoining tract storage closet.

As you know, the Pancake Breakfast is intended as a time set aside for the men of our church to come together, share a meal which they have cooked themselves, tell stories about guns, and give long prayer requests about those not present. If you’re a man in our church and you can’t get excited about getting up at 5:00 a.m. to come pray with us then you’re missing out on a real blessing — not to mention running the risk of being used as an illustration in my upcoming sermon “The Pancake and the Sluggard (once I find a text to go with the title, that is).”

Our thanks go out to Harvey and his boys James and Zedekiah who showed up at 4:30 AM to set up tables and chairs. It’s great to know that we can count on our Christian school teachers to volunteer for these kinds of things without expecting to be paid for it. Our thanks also to all those who provided the electric grills and the dozen boxes of Bisquick which were a teeny bit past their expiration but (as far as we know) didn’t make anybody ill. They certainly did make some hearty pancakes of a thickness that I’ve never seen before and with a taste that defies mere words.

My thanks to Bill Scandish who, after not finding a space in the fellowship hall kitchen to make his pancake portion, overloaded the outlet under the men’s room sink. The Lord has graciously seen fit to us this opportunity to reveal to us via the Fire Marshall that the wiring in the building has evidently not been up to code since 1976. I would like to note that we’ll be taking special offerings for the next few months towards renovations on the fellowship hall and occupational therapy for Bill who is reportedly counting it all joy that he has been chosen to suffer third-degree burns for Christ.

I would like close this note by announcing that in July the scheduled Men’s Pancake Breakfast will be held at iHOP. Come prepared to pray loudly.

Labouring In The Fields Of White Harvest,

Pastor Hamenstonadt