For the aspiring fundamentalist preacher boy here is the end-all of instruction manuals for how to succeed in the ministry.

A few nuggets of wisdom from this book:

Do I? It’s like he’s reading my mind! What a great pastor I could be if I weren’t messing around with people all day long!

It’s also a great way to catch them wearing, listening to, and smoking things that they oughtn’t be. Score!

You know you’re always right, and soon they’ll know it too!

Man, why didn’t I think of that? How do you counsel? Just don’t!

There is so much more but I’ll let you have at it on your own.