“Preacher, please sign my bible.”

Autograph hounds show up just about everywhere, and fundamentalists events are no different. At any special services where a well-known fundy pastor, evangelist, or missionary is present there will inevitably be a line of folks who gather to get his signature on their Bible.

Why fundamentalists feel the need to collect these signatures remains somewhat of a mystery. Perhaps an annual contest would be in order with prize categories like

• most signatures (A wide margin Scofield Bible is a must to be considered a serious competitor in this field. Old Scofield only, please)
• most important signature (One would, of course, run the risk of a tie between the autographs of Jack Hyles and John R. Rice — not an easy contest to settle without bloodshed.)
• strangest Bible reference given with signature (Why would anyone sign a bible with the reference Matthew 19:12??)

Get up to the front of the auditorium and get lined up for that autograph! The music for the second service is just about to start…