I don’t know why this amuses me so much but it does. I just imagine that there’s a little siren that goes off and a recording of Alexander Scourby reading Proverbs 23:21 if you try sticking a wine bottle in there
Famous Fundy Novels
photo by Stewart Butterfield
Call me…Pastor. (Moby-Dick)
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a preacher boy in possession of a bible school diploma, must be in want of a wife. (Pride and Prejudice)
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. (no change required to 1984)
Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life is a foregone conclusion. I’m an evangelist, how could I not be? (David Copperfield)
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. We went soulwinning anyway. (Paul Clifford)
The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel, the only real channel that any good Christian should be watching given the filth on television these days. (Neuromancer)
I am a sick man . . . I am a spiteful man . . .(no change required to Notes from Underground)
It was like so, but wasn’t. At least that’s what the pastor kept insisting. (Galatea 2.2)
All this happened to the evangelist, more or less. (Slaughterhouse-Five)
Elmer Gantry was drunk. (no change needed to Elmer Gantry)
It was a pleasure to burn Vatican Corrupted Bibles. (Fahrenheit 451)
Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by frumpy jean jumpers. (Middlemarch)
Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person. (No change needed to Back When We Were Grownups)
He was an inch, perhaps two, under six feet, powerfully built, and he advanced straight at you with a slight stoop of the shoulders, head forward, and a fixed from-under stare which made you think of a charging bull. Then he’d introduce himself as Doctor Pastor Brother Hyles. (Lord Jim)
Justice?—You get justice in the next world, in this world you have the law. (no change needed to A Frolic of His Own)
They say when trouble comes close ranks, and so the fundamentalist people did. (Wide Sargasso Sea)
Do you have any to add? Let’s hear them!
Hating Beer (and Logic)
What makes this really interesting is that Brad Whitt is actually a Southern Baptist. I keep being told that Southern Baptists are thoughtful and kind and completely different from the legalists in the Indy-Fundy camps.
I’ll confess that I often have my doubts.
Friday Challenge: Six Word Autobiography
There’s a thought exercise that I find myself doing from time to time and I though it might be fun to do it as a group:
Today’s challenge is to write a six word autobiography of your time as a fundamentalist. Just six words.
Go.
GOH: Wonderful Grace of Jesus
I have nothing against this song but it amuses me to think that this song of all songs used to represent the pinnacle of exciting and upbeat music in a worship service. When the song leader would announce it at my Fundy U a veritable wave of excitement would sweep through the auditorium.
Looking back after having experienced the emotion, pathos, and beauty that can be found in so many different types and styles of music, seeing people getting that excited over this song is actually a little sad.