This week’s pick is preachersparadise.org. If you have epilepsy, please beware the seizure-inducing flashing banner. You have been warned.
Be sure to Check out this deal!
ALMOST 800 EXPOSITORY,ALLITERATED,FULL TEXT SERMONS!
CONTAINED IN THIS AWESOME SET IS OFFER 2 AND 3 ABOVE.PLUS THE NEW SERMONS ADDED.ALMOST 800 TOTAL FROM OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS! AS A BONUS:THE FIRST 25 BUYERS WILL RECIEVE OFFER # 1 ABOVE FREE!!!!
Ask any fundamentalist if dancing is a sin and you’ll likely receive a lecture on the sensuality and lust that is provoked when movements are set to music. The fact that a child of two will bop to the music of Sesame Street is seen as evidence both that the child has a radically corrupt sin nature and that Sesame Street is likely run by homosexual Communists.
Yet for all that, many fundamentalists enjoy a large amount of dancing, provided that the folks who are doing it are in a movie that is at least fifty years old or on the Lawrence Welk show. Fred and Ginger’s taps and twirls and Danny Kaye’s soft shoe routines are a staple of many fundamentalist video libraries. Time sanctifies all things.
There’s no doubt that those dances were much more genteel than the popular moves of this era. But can anyone imagine the uproar if ballroom dancing classes were offered at a fundamentalist college? Unless, of course, it’s in aid of a Gilbert and Sullivan musical. As one college music teacher explained “this isn’t choreography — it’s structured movement.” Well that explains everything then.
The fundamentalist proudly proclaims that “A dancing foot and a praying knee are not found on the same leg.” Unless that leg is part of a production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
many thanks to James for the idea
The fundamentalist world was rocked recently when a scholar from a prestigious fundamentalist university opined in a book that maybe people in the Bible really did drink fermented wine after all. Now from all reports he still wasn’t advocating that people are allowed to drink in moderation today — after all, baptists do follow in the holiness tradition of being total abstainers when it comes to alcohol — but even this slight allowance has caused the likes of the Sword of the Lord to spill barrels of ink denouncing the scholar, the university, the book, and all their friends, relations, chattels, and livestock.
Regardless of the fact that history shows total abstinence from alcohol has been held mainly by heretics and some sects of Roman Catholic monks, fundies embrace it as dogma to the point of writing it into their church constitutions and/or church covenants.
If we are to take the rule that no alcohol may ever pass ones lips literally, however, there are a few points which may need some clarification.
– How long may one gargle with Listerine® (26.9% alcohol) without sin?
– If one uses hand sanitizer and then proceeds to licks their fingers, is this too a matter for church discipline?
– Is taking NyQuil (25%), Ambesol(70%), Formula 44D(20%), or Contrex (20%) a transgression? And if it’s ok to take those, is it also ok to sip a few teaspoons of whiskey (50% alcohol) as long as you’ve got a cold?
First medicinal wine from a teaspoon then beer from a bottle. Oh, we got trouble…
This week’s pick is sonsofthundr.com. This site pretty much defies description so I’ll forgo and let just let you experience it on your own.
Be sure to check out the Warning to Pastors about halfway down the first page. It’s…quite something.
Favorite Line: “I’ve never met an exegesis that could take the place of preaching.”