Not content to only provide an IFB alternative to Facebook, some enterprising fundies have also created a separated and sanctified alternative to YouTube as well. BaptistVideos.org provides endless minutes of delight with offerings such as a Billy Sunday Impression, A Sermon from CLA Founder David Gibbs, and my vote for the Worst Q&A Session Ever.
Also note that there’s not a sermon under 50 minutes long anywhere to be found. Glory!
Official Sword Drill Instructions:
1. If some children do not know how to do a Sword Drill then first of all explain why the Bible is the Christian’s sword.
2. First of all have all the children close their Bibles and hold them by the binder.
3. Shout “Sheathe swords” – at this the children should put their Bibles under their arms.
4. Shout “Draw swords” – the children should now hold their Bibles in the air with straight arms.
5. Tell the children a book, a chapter, and a verse of the Bible, and have them repeat it after you. For example, “John chapter 3 verse 16.”
6. Once the children have repeated the reference, shout “Charge” – the children should now try to look up the verse as quickly as possible.
7. The first one to find the reference should shout out the first few words from the verse. In our example, this would be, “For God so…” (KJV). You could also have the children stand up when they get the verse to make it clearer who won.
8. This child would then come out to the front and would keep their Bible open at their verse. They are now in the final.
9. Repeat this until you have 4 or perhaps 5 children in the final.
10. The children should then read their verses and within these verses there should be a word which is the same. The rest of the children should listen to the verses to try and guess the common word.
11. Once the children have read their verses and someone has guessed what the word is, have a Sword Drill just for the finalists.
12. The first one to get the verse should shout out the first couple words as before. This child has then won the sword drill and should then read out this verse.
If you’ve ever spent hours refining your sword drill bible-opening and page-flipping skills…you might have been a fundamentalist.
One of the great hymns of the faith without a doubt.
Because everyone knows the less you know about what you’re doing the better it is.
In case anybody is unfamiliar with the books he’s preaching against, Tim Lahaye’s book The Act of Marriage
If that’s too much information, one has to wonder what kind of education this preacher would find acceptable. Perhaps this set of LPs??
If you believe that the hottest fire burns pitch black…you might be a fundamentalist. Here we have one of the classic examples of psuedo-scientific babble providing the perfect ‘proof’ for a point that needs no proving. The illustration transpires thuswise…
The fundamentalist preacher while bellowing out his message on hell will inform us that hell is both a place of fire and a place of darkness. But how can there be both darkness and fire??? The preacher then breathlessly reveals that unnamed “scientists” have discovered that the hottest flames burn PITCH BLACK! Here is scientific proof that not only will hell be dark but it will contain the hottest fire imaginable! What an amazing thing.
Of course people like physical chemist Vince Calder have never actually heard of black flame. Invisible flame is theoretically possible but if flame is burning invisibly it means it’s actually on the lowest end of the heat spectrum not the highest.
Fundamentalists, however, know better than to trust those Berkley-educated academic types — they’re probably just lying to protect their own evolutionary agenda.