Odds and Ends

The Obligatory Hating Sata Post

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Satan Santa

It’s that time of year when the world falls in love and peace and earth and goodwill toward men reigns supreme. Yet even in this time of merry-making and fruitcake slinging, fundamentalists will find someone to attack: Old St. Nick.

For Santa Clause is THE GREAT IMPOSTER who will lead your children astray not only each December but possibly for eternity. The reasoning goes something like this…

If a parent tells their trusting child that Santa is real and and that he is omniscient (knows if they’ve been naughty or nice), omnipresent (can get around the world in one night), and omnipotent (not sure about this one but just go with it) then when they learn he is not real they’ll lose faith not only in Santa but will be forced to believe that God is a mere fairytale as well. Did you get that? Good.

Not content to leave it there, fundies then decide to heap unto themselves further proofs that Santa is not only imaginary, he is also evil as well. The SANTA = SATAN theme is preached far and wide. Their proof for this connection?

An internet Google search on “Satan Claus” [not Santa Claus – but SATAN Claus] found over 1,700 hits! Obviously, there are many that tie the two together.

We also learn that Old Nick is

“A well-known British name of the Devil. It seems probable that this name is derived from the Dutch Nikken, the devil…”
(Encyclopedia of Occultism and Parapsychology, p.650)

He’s also a saint so we know the Roman Catholics are involved somehow which probably means it’s a global conspiracy. I don’t know about you but that settles it for me. Not only is Santa not real but he is also the devil. One can only imagine what fundies must think of the tooth fairy.

Music

The 12 Fundy Days of Christmas

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From the folks who brought you the classic hit “If There’s Hair On Your Ears “(there’s sin in your heart) comes the new song 12 Fundamental Days of Christmas.

“On the first day of Christmas the true church gave to me, a red letter KJV.” Then we’re off to six babies crying, and five comfy pews, then NO ladies dancing, NO pipers piping, and NO drummers drumming!

Thanks to Paul for the link

Odds and Ends, Public Life

Christmas Displays

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Ripped from the Headlines… (ok, it was actually probably buried on page J32 but still)

NIPOMO — A lawn display of a Jesus shooting Santa Claus has residents in one San Luis Obispo County city up in arms.

The controversial Christmas display shows a Jesus figure pointing a double-barrel shotgun at a dead Santa figure. Santa’s reindeer Rudolph lays sprawled across the hood of a pickup truck nearby.

Some neighbors have asked the display be removed, but its maker, Ron Lake, says it’s a work of art denouncing the commercialization of Christmas.

Police said that because Lake built the display on private property they cannot force him to take it down.

Some residents plan to start a petition.

via ktla.com

I have no idea what Mr. Lake’s religious beliefs are but a story with guns, dead Santa, a pickup truck and angry neighbors protesting sounds like a fundy’s Christmas dream come true.

Thanks to “coffee bean” for the link.

Art, king james version

Posters

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Winner

This was submitted by a faithful SFL reader who snapped a picture with his cell phone while visiting a fundy church. He had to do it quickly because in his words “it’s pretty obvious when a guy is standing and pointing a phone at a picture that he’s not texting – I had to take a quick shot before someone walked around a corner and rightly assumed I shared no common belief with the picture.”

Do you have a snapshot of fundyism that you’d like to share? Send it along to photos@stufffundieslike.com

Websites

FWOTW heritagebaptistchurch.info

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heritageThis week’s pick is the website of Heritage Baptist Church in Endicott, New York. In addition to having the normal fundy website features, this site contains one page of particular note — or many notes as the case may be.

Indeed this congregation has discovered music encoded in the Scriptures. This inspired music is “derived and played from a combination of the Hebrew words, verbal and musical syntax, syllables and accent marks found in the Masoretic text of the Old Testament.” And then it just gets weird. They claim “One should recognize that this music is not separate from God’s inspired and preserved words; thus, the music is God’s inspired and preserved music. ” From the music presented we’re left to believe that God writes music in Western style and 4/4 time. Oy vey.

Enjoy!

A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.