Arguing on the Internet

For a person who loves the heady thrill of never-ending argument, the Internet is nothing short of a drug. For even mildly tech-savvy fundies who would rather argue than eat, the internet provides a venue to argue ad infinitum about every topic under the sun.

Nothing represents this non-stop battle of words better than The Fighting Fundamental Forums, a place where you can stop in on any given day and trade earnest verbal fisticuffs about subject matter that nobody else in the world cares about (other than the readers on this blog, of course). There is no detail too small, no doctrine too minor, no standard too outdated to be defended to the last man. The Truth must be preserved, even if virtual blood must be spilled to do it.

If you wish to stand in the gap, perhaps you too can gird your loins and join the fray on topics such as  Cheerleading, Water Parks, Tattoos, Female Song Leaders ,More Tattoos, Mid-Week Services, Even More Tattoos and Pastoral Authority. But I’d beg you not to. That way lies madness.

Gospel Gimmicks: Ice Cream Bus Ministry

Want to get more kids to come to your Sunday School? Looking for a way to get more names and addresses of potential targets? Welcome to the exciting world of the Ice Cream Bus Ministry.

Listen to this Ice Cream Bus Ministry success story!

As an example, the first time a group of four women took one of our ice cream trucks into a neighborhood, they took 17 new names down and had 7 of those kids come to Sunday School and church the next Sunday. A week later, they received 13 new names. One week later, they received 23 new names. That is 53 new names in three weeks! In all my years of calling, I never have been that successful in getting new names for any bus route I did in such a short period of time…The only draw back I could see in this ministry is the workers getting overweight!

Gospel Baptist Church

And surely no parent would object to complete strangers handing out sugary foods in an attempt to get personal information and proselytize their children. Strangers with ice cream — what could be creepy about that?

Silent Change

Everything changes — even fundamentalists. But much like any other organization that claims for itself absolute and final authority on, well, pretty much everything, fundamentalists are loath to admit that sometimes they do in fact re-think their stances on things.

One day you’re hearing Steve Green’s music being decried as having crawled from the ninth circle of the underworld. Then suddenly, without warning, your choir is blasting out “Find us Faithful” as if it had been written at least a hundred years ago. The trick here is that nobody in leadership will ever actually come out and say “Hey, guess what? We were wrong about that Steve guy. His music is actually ok.”

Ladies, that skirt had better be down to your ankles…or below the knee…or “at” the knee…or at least at the knee while leaning slightly forward and holding your breath. And if you’re paying enough attention to realize that something is definitely up with fundamentalist hemlines, I’d advise you to also have better sense than to mention it where they can hear you.

And of course, the fundamentalist can absolutely defend every single new nuance of standards directly from the unchanging Word of God. It would seem that even travelers on the old paths have to put up with a certain amount of construction.

A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.