Radio

Since before the days of Lester Roloff, fundamentalists have been fascinated with the medium of radio. Churches of the fundamentalist old-school will actually own their own radio station but others will at least buy time on a local station to let the managawd’s sermons be spread far and wide.

As is their custom, fundamentalists must spare no cost to provide an approved alternative to all the godless programming that congests the airwaves. This is mostly justified as “outreach”, although who exactly other than a fundamentalists will consent to listen to the usual fundy radio fare is not exactly clear.

A church’s radio station is actually a pretty good way to figure out exactly what camp they are in.

– If the people sing like they’re a hundred years old and chronically depressed it’s one of the BJU family of churches.

– If the people sound like young men and women who are so excited and happy that they may experience spontaneous combustion at any moment, you’re enjoying the sounds of PCC-style broadcasting.

– If the music sounds like neutered Southern Gospel and frequently stops for interludes of preaching that sound like the speaker is trying to inflict as much damage as possible on his vocal chords, you’re somewhere in the Hyles spectrum.

If you too would like to enjoy a trip down fundy lane, you can check out all kinds of fundamentalists programming from stations like WOEL, Rejoice Radio, and the Fundamental Broadcast Network.

It’s enough to make you wish that Marconi had invented something else — like, say, a better earplug.

Fundy Fashion

Time stands still in fundyland. Walk into the average fundamentalist church and you’ll be able to easily spot suits and ties from the 70’s, women’s hair styles from the 80’s, and carpet colors that were last popular during the Eisenhower administration. And they shall not be moved.

The strange thing about this time warp, however, is that not all fundy churches freeze at the exact same moment. Exactly how far out of the mainstream a local church remains can vary from height-of-fashion-twenty-years-ago all the way to now-back-in-style-again! Of course, if the hair and clothes of the general populace does swing around to match the fundies, they’ll immediately have to leap into some other decade out of self defense.

One can only imagine that fundamentalists dress and decorate to reflect whatever era the Holy Spirit last visited in hopes that He’ll recognize them when he comes back.

Ignoring MLK

Growing up in fundyland I never really knew who Martin Luther King Jr. was. We didn’t skip school or do anything special on the holiday commemorating his life. His name wasn’t mentioned from the pulpit nor was his biography on any reading list. As far as we knew, who he was and what he accomplished just wasn’t that important.

I suppose it’s not all that surprising given the Bob Jones university reportedly refused to fly their flag at half mast when Dr. King was assassinated. If the words “civil rights” are ever mentioned in the hallowed halls of Fundy U it’s inevitably with suspicion and more than a little disdain. Troublemaker. Apostate. Leftist.

I only wish we had a few more troublemakers like him. Happy birthday, sir. Rest in peace until the day of your resurrection.

A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.