Cognitive Dissonance Redux

March 31, 2011 Darrell 128 Comments

Commandments Concerning The Prayer

March 30, 2011 Darrell 127 Comments

And when it shall come to pass that the invitation which never closes has once again been opened and the hymn shall be sung at length and the penitent shall walk the sinner’s trail down to the old fashioned altar that then shall he be led by the appropriate gender of altar worker in The Sinner’s Prayer. And the commandments concerning the praying of the prayer shall be thus…

The praying of The Prayer shall in any wise be preceded by The Question in which the altar worker shall inquire as to the reason for the sinner’s approach to the altar and establish whether he is a first-timer or a repeat customer. But as to the answer to the Question it matters not at all for the next step is the same either way.

And the altar worker shall in all cases provide the sinner with the correct words of The Prayer to say — for this is good and acceptable and not at all like those other memorized prayers the Catholics use. For The Sinner’s Prayer can in no wise be attempted by the penitent alone lest he fumble the words and lack a vital phrase and the Holy Ghost become wroth with Him and cast his soul into the outer darkness wherein dwell Presbyterians and other creeping things.

And even if the penitent shall claim to have prayed the prayer at his seat, he shall with all haste be made to say it again in front of at least one witness and then sign his confession for the record. For we know that a sinner cannot be trusted with The Prayer, since it is a big deal.

And if any person shall be so bold as to ask if anyone in the Bible ever prayed a prayer to “get saved” then shall they be labeled a troublemaker and be asked to say The Prayer themselves a few times for they are obviously in great need of it.

Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements, pp 11-12.

education

Yet Another Student Handbook That Would Make Draco Jealous

March 29, 2011 Darrell 311 Comments

From the Handbook of Calvary Christian School, a “ministry” of Calvary Baptist Church of King, NC. One can only assume that none of these children have parents.

Any student who decides to operate a personal online website or contributes to a blog must register the website/blog with the school office. (Ex: facebook, blogger.com, YouTube, etc.) The website must be registered immediately upon its creation.

Any student who creates a website or blog prior to attending Calvary Christian School must register the website/blog before final acceptance is granted. All websites/blogs will be monitored for content on a regular basis. Any student found with an unregistered website or blog, or website or blog material that is deemed inappropriate to the purpose and mission of Calvary Baptist Church and Calvary Christian School will be in direct disobedience to this ruling. This will result in disciplinary action as detailed below, and repeat offenses can lead to dismissal from Calvary Christian School.

1st offense: 25 demerits + 1 detention
2nd offense: 1-day out-of-school suspension
3+ offense: Case-by-case administrative ruling

â€œInappropriate materialâ€ posted on any publicly accessible location (website, blog, YouTube, etc.) includes, but is not limited to,

1) any words, phrases, communications, pictures or images deemed by the pastor or principal to be inappropriate,

2) any text naming or referring to Calvary Baptist Church or Christian School, its personnel or students,

3) any images of CCS students, faculty, or facilities without the
express consent of every person in the image, the parents of students shown, and the school administration.

NOTE regarding Myspace: Because of the uncontrollable nature of
Myspace, the regular ungodly advertising banners, the easy links to ungodly material, etc, Myspace is completely off limits. Anyone who has already opened a Myspace account must cease from using it, and must register it as described above (because it cannot be deleted).