Odds and Ends

Commandments Concerning Weddings

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And when it shall come to pass that two fine young fundamentalists of opposite sex shall have have completed their dating or courtship or purchase or whichever biblical method their pastor hath decreed, that they shall have a fundamentalist wedding. And the observance of this wedding shall be on thus wise…

The bride shall adorn herself with yard and yards of fabric so that nary a square inch of bare skin shall be visible to the naked eye, neither the skin of her arm, nor her bosom, nor the cleavage between her toes shall in anywise be on display lest the congregation be forced to pluck out their eyes in unison upon her entrance. The groom can wear whatever he wants.

And the music shall be that of the strings and the organ and the piano for nothing says “I love you forever” like the lyrical stylings of the great Ron Hamilton, may his tribe increase and his wiggle worms be ever squashable. And when the strains of “Your Forever” shall play upon the instruments then shall the women of the congregation dab their eyes with a hanky and say “how sweet!” and never mind that the theology is really terrible and sounds vaguely Mormon.

And the preacher shall wax long and loud in giving his challenge to the newly married people and shall spare not to air all of his pet peeves such as unwed mothers, gay marriage and income taxes. And in doing so he shall establish that the most important person in this wedding is definitely himself. So shall it ever be.

And after the vows and songs and smooching there shall be a reception held in the church gymnasium. And of the reception there shall in no case be wine served for Jesus would not approve. Neither shall there be upbeat music which might lead to dancing lest someone mistake this for an actual celebration. Also, it’s a lot cheaper.

And when the time shall come that the bride and groom shall depart then shall the congregation of those present breathe a happy sigh and speculate on whether it shall be 9 or 10 months from now that their first child shall appear depending on how long it takes them to figure things out. And all shall rejoice that another fundy man has gathered to himself an helpmeet for to serve him all the days of his life. Amen.

Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements, pp. 401-402

Child Abuse, Scandal

Tim Anderson Writes An Open Letter to Ken Smith

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This letter is reposted from the I Support Tina Anderson blog.

Ken,

I’ve been trying to understand why you have taken this so personal. You’ve latched your teeth into Tina and I wish I knew why. You commented on the I Support Tina Anderson blog and yes, I read your comments even though we did not publish them. You said some hurtful things but I won’t take that personal. If you believe that Tina is lying, that is your choice. You may post that wherever someone will let you. I fought for our country so that you might have that freedom. I have contemplated for days if I should or would respond to you. Well, I decided that I would address a few things.

First, please read http://www.scribd.com/doc/44495191/Tina-Anderson-s-Statement-to-the-Concord-Police. This is a copy of what Tina wrote to the police when they called us on my birthday about a year and a half ago and asked her to give a statement of what happened. We stand by what she wrote and what she swore under oath that her statement to the police was truthful.

Second, there were a couple things that the newspapers got wrong. Where it came from, I don’t know but someone said that Ernie was a deacon. You’ll notice in the police report that Tina never called him a deacon and never said that in the couple of interviews that she gave. That issue was quickly addressed and corrected in future articles.

Third, you say Tina lied when she agreed with Elizabeth Vargas on 20/20 that she “lost” her job. You are correct that Tina was not fired from being a teacher. We never said that she had been fired. I understand how you and others could understand it that way. There was no willful intent to deceive. The word lost was used in the context of “no longer in the possession, care, or control of someone or something” (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/lost) but it was not “lost” in the sense that it was taken away.

On purpose, we did not go into the details of why Tina put in her resignation. There were a lot of things that happened that made us realize that we could not continue at this church and school. This is the church that I grew up in since I was five years old. This is the place where I attended the Christian academy from kindergarten to 12th grade. This is the college that I achieved one of my bachelor’s degrees and almost completed my master’s degree (I’d have to complete three more classes). This is where I devoted over 20 years of my life. We chose to walk away. Although it’s been brought out by others, I don’t bring up the names of these organizations because I don’t want to drag them through the mud but it’s part of our life and it’s kind of hard to hide where you’ve spent about half of your life. I have deep feelings for that place. When I say I’ve “lost” friends, it means that us and them have chosen to part ways. It means that people I’ve known all my life and all the people that Tina got to know while she was there, don’t fellowship with us. Will some of those friendships be renewed? I don’t know, maybe. I still hold out hope. There are a couple families that we do see occasionally but six people out of hundreds is not very many.

Fourth, you’re concerned about The Tina Anderson Foundation and where does the money go and how much does Tina and I receive. There might be other concerns but I’ll address the one I know about. Tina and I do not receive any money from the foundation. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, during Christmas time, we were given gas money and our hotel room paid so that we could take a week’s vacation to spend time with friends out of state. The foundation also gave us some Christmas gifts that my kids still enjoy playing with. The purpose of the foundation is stated on the website. If people want to donate to help others, that is great! If people are not comfortable with donating to this foundation, don’t. This was set up to try and make a difference in people’s lives and to give a chance for others to help. I trust and support the people and their families who run the foundation. In fact, I love them like family. All of them have meant so much to me, my wife and my kids.

Finally, Ken. I know this will not answer all your questions and you may dismiss what I have to say. That is fine. I pray that God’s peace come upon you and that you have joy in your life. God has greatly blessed me and I pray that God will also bless you also.

Sincerely,

Tim Anderson

P.S. Darrell, I know a couple of people have asked that you remove Ken Smith from SFL. You do not have to remove him on mine or my wife’s account. Ken says that he’s standing up for what he thinks is right. As long as you are willing to allow him to post, it will not bother me.

Odds and Ends

Branding

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This daguerreotype is one of the most beautiful pictures I’ve ever seen, for a reason that may not be readily apparent. And therein lies a tale…

This hand belongs to a man named Jonathan Walker who in 1844 attempted to rescue seven slaves from Pensacola, Florida. For this crime of wanting all men to be free, the U.S. Marshall of the District of Florida branded his hand with the letters SS so that everyone would know him to be a “Slave Stealer.”

Years later, John Greenleaf Whittier’s memorialized this brand in his poem “The Branded Hand” which says in part:

Why, that brand is highest honor! than its traces never yet
Upon old armorial hatchments was a prouder blazon set;
And thy unborn generations, as they tread our rocky strand,
Shall tell with pride the story of their father’s branded hand!

As I read about the bravery of Jonathan Walker, I cannot help but think of the parallels to how those who defy the masters of fundamentalism and strive to make souls free are often branded as well. It may be only a brand of flaming hateful words instead of heated iron, but the mark those words can leave deep scars upon the soul. Traitor. Apostate. Bitter. Unrighteous. Soul Stealer.

But when those who would bind men in the chains of legalist slavery shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, rejoice and be exceeding glad. For that brand you wear is no mere scar but stands as a badge of honor that you have been counted among those happy few who could no longer be content to stand by and do nothing when faced with evil men and spiritual seducers. Do no hide the marks you bear, but let them rather shine forth with a holy light. Faithful. Just. Loving. Righteous. Soul Saver.

Can a Christless church withstand, In the van of Freedom’s onset, the coming of that band?

A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.