Holidays

Thanksgiving (An Uncharacteristically Serious Post)

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We are fast approaching the time of year when the United States has ordained that its citizens take some time off to be thankful. Fundamentalists and non-fundies alike are blowing up the Internet with lists of things for which we can be grateful and (oftentimes) covert condemnation of those who don’t look quite thankful enough.

Yet, thankfulness cannot ever be the product of mere command. Some days there would seem to be very little in the way of glad tidings for which we can express our thanks. Some days we just don’t feel very much like being thankful for what we have or can do in the face of what we do not have or cannot do.

“Giving thanks always and for everything” writes the Apostle Paul. But there are some sayings in Scripture that are hard to bear. Thankful for years spend “wasted”? Thankful for being abandoned by friends and family? Thankful for abuse and loneliness and poverty and deception and trauma? It seems so unlikely, so farfetched, so inhumane to even suggest that such at thing is possible.

But I must confess that in my life there have been moments of time when heaven and earth have briefly met and I can see with eyes undimmed by the pain of all the things that have come before when I can be thankful even for these bitter things that have come and gone. Because I believe that there is nothing that can come into my life but that it has been allowed by a gracious Heavenly Father who can take even the wrath of ungodly men and bring good from it. Pain has enriched the glory of grace. Condemnation has increased a love of mercy. Heartache brings with it an increased depth and breadth and height of the ability to love and weep and care for others. For to be thankful is not to claim to have enjoyed what has happened but rather to acknowledge that we are now the better for having endured it.

And so in the spirit of this season, I thank God for allowing my life as it has been thus far. For those who have loved me and befriended me as well as those who have hated and ill-used me. Many have intended evil but I have faith that God has meant it for good. And there is always grace.

I would hasten also to thank all of you as well for your graciousness and your kindness and your encouragement as we’ve shared this time here. Nobody knows what fresh trials or blessings or frustrations or wonderful surprises may be in store for us over the next days but I trust that when it is over we will be able to say together that our Heavenly Father has done all things well.

Enjoy the season. Hug your loved ones. Eat, drink, and be merry. We’ll talk again soon.

Doctrine, Public Life

Commandments Concerning Times Of Prayer

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And when it shall come to pass that thou shalt eat thy breakfast or begin any trip or shall be called upon to “close us out in a word of prayer” by thy pastor (if thou shalt be lucky enough to not be a women) that thou shalt heed the words which are written in this book that thy prayers and thy fundy cred be not hindered.

For when thou prayest thou shalt in no wise use words that have ever been used before in a prayer. For God shall only hear and answer prayers that are as different from each other as one snowflake is from another. And in the day that thou shalt use a prayer that has been ever said or written then shalt the Lord tell you that he’s already heard this one and ignore you as if you were a tattooed heathen or an Episcopalian.

And if when thou prayest thou shouldest have a creative lapse wherin thou canst not think of what to say next then shalt thou throw in the word “Lord” as a filler. For the Lord doth dearly love to hear his name used as punctuation and never wearies of it. And if thou art really stuck adding a few “Father God’s” or “Good God Almighty’s” might work too.

For when Our Lord taught his disciples to pray he gave them only an outline example which he never really expected them to use except as they might modifying it extemporaneously with much verbal clutter and a meandering purpose. Go and do thou likewise.

Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements, p 3

Church Services, king james version

KJB Celebration!

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I feature these conference posters from time to time because it’s always interesting to see the lines of the various fundy camps blur together. Here we have the Sword of the Lord contingent led by Shelton Smith (who is heavily supported by and supports “moderate” fundies like Pensacola Christian College) sharing the platform with “über fundies” like Bob Gray at a church pastored by a Hyles man, Jeff Fugate.

As much as places like PCC would like to pretend that they’re far away from the screaming fundy crowd, the lunatic fringe of fundyland is just never quite as far away from them as they would like to pretend.

thanks to mounty for passing this one along

Scandal

Fundamentalist Teacher Accused Of Masturbating In Class

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As CBS reports:

Paul LaDuke, 75, has been charged with sexual exploitation of a child. LaDuke has been a math teacher at the school for 26 years.

Investigators determined that, while seated at a podium in class on Friday, LaDuke unzipped and lowered his pants and masturbated while students were present in the classroom.

“Through the course of our investigation, our detectives have come to believe that this has happened several times per year for 10 years or more, possibly,” Nebel said.

Asked if there had been previous complaints that did not result in any action against LaDuke, Nebel said no.

“It’s not that it’s been reported and nothing has been done, it’s just that during the course of the investigation, we’ve come to learn certain information and I can’t go further for the fact that there’s a possibility of more charges before a grand jury,” Nebel said.

You can visit the school website here.

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