FWOTW: swordof1611.webs.com
Today’s website was send along by alert SFL reader Dan and is chock full of the kind of fundy craziness that we’ve all come to expect. There’s information on Science, Cosmology (which one can only assume isn’t a science), and “Biblical Rules For Doctrinal Discussion or Debate.” Plus there’s a whole page on Peter Ruckman just in case you were doubtful as to which kind of crazy is being represented here.
But none of the above can compare to the ringing endorsement of Jack Fellure as God’s choice for President of the United States in 2012. What’s that you say? You’ve never heard of Jack Fellure? Well it just so happens Jack is the candidate of the Prohibition Party (slogan: Nobody Knows We Still Exist). As the old saying goes: “If your party has its convention at the Holiday Inn Express in Cullman, Alabama don’t start picking out your furniture for the Oval Office just quite yet.”
Oh, and the guy who runs the site apparently totes a sword around. So there’s that.
Top 10 Thing You’ll Hear Fundamentalist Pastors Say On Superbowl Sunday
The teams are chosen, the date is fixed, and all that remains before the Superbowl is hearing your favorite fundy preacher bloviate about how wicked it all is.
10. Those players should be in church!
9. Your posters on your bedroom wall should be a pastor or missionary not some cursing, fornicating sports star.
8. Why don’t people get as excited about soulwinning as they do about football?
7. The rock and roll debauchery of the halftime shows just shows how far America has fallen.
6. At the Great White Throne Judgement, Jesus isn’t going to care how far you could throw a football. He’s going to ask you how much you tithed.
5. What if we spent all the money that we pay those football teams on missions instead?
4. You all will go to a ball game and scream and yell but you come to church and I can’t hardly get you to say “amen” or get excited at all!
3. Those cheerleaders are immodest harlots. And you men who lust after them should be ashamed of yourselves.
2. Most of you aren’t going to listen to a thing I said here and you’re going to run straight home and put the game on.
1. Honey, are those nachos done yet? The second half is about to start!
GOH: The Bible Bookstore
Rip-Offs Of Things They Claim To Hate
Thanks to Nathan J. For passing this one along!