Ich bin ein Fundy

As time passes and Independent Baptist Fundamentalism begins to fade in our collective rear-view mirrors, there is a realization that slowly begins to dawn: “Everybody is somebody’s fundy.” Unless you believe absolutely nothing, have a strong opinion on absolutely nothing, and never ever draw a line between right and wrong, wise and foolish, or the Eagles and all those other loser NFL teams, someone at some point will probably accuse you of either being a fundy or “acting just like them.” And the accusation will probably come from someone else who acts in their own way like a bit of a fundy too. We all have our moments.

Let not your heart be troubled when the label fundy is flung at you like a Holy Hand-grenade. Sometimes this word is used in complete ignorance and the person who is leveling that accusation may simply be unaware of the massive baggage that surrounds the word “fundamentalist” for those of us who spent years being proud of that title. More frequently, however, when this accusation is hurled it is done so because the person hurling it knows that it’s the quickest way to raise your ire and start a fight. After all, what better way to gain an upper hand than by accusing someone of being the very thing they loath? The Internet is full of such who delight in nothing more than performing verbal hit-and-run attacks.

So what shall we do then when we are called fundamentalist for no greater crime than believing that some thing is true and worth defending? The answer is simply this: refuse to engage the fight. Return blessing for cursing. Love your enemies. And smile a lot so they’ll wonder what you’re up to.

For in some way we all have beliefs that are fundamental. We all have core principles we cannot compromise. We all believe in something and that belief shapes us both inside and out. But we can surely do better than to fling the word “fundamentalist” at those with whom we merely disagree as if it is the most distasteful thing we can think of. Let’s save that word for the real fundies. They rather seem to enjoy it.

Being Healthy and Skinny (The Hyles Way!)

From the book description:

When failing health, extreme gatigue(sic), pain, obesity, depression, and a myriad of other symptoms began to severely limit her ability to care for her responsibilties(sic), Jane Grafton could not seem to find answers. After being told she would have to live with her debilitating symptoms, there came a point when she realized that he health was her responsibility. Jane began to diligently research women’s health; she has read dozens of books, attended seminars, consulted medical professions, and done Bible studies on the subject. Mrs. Ciny(sic) Schaap, the senior editor of Christian Womanhood, asked Jane to write a book on women’s health from a Christian layperson’s persepctive(sic). Jane shares the practical principles she instituted that have helepd her on the road to regaining her health.

So…what could possibly go wrong with a fundy writing a book full of home-grown “biblical” advice on how to be skinny and healthy?

A Spirited Defense

Today we have a guest post from Hunter Hansen who comments on SFL as Viniator3 and blogs at WritingAllWrong.com.

The Holy Spirit. To a Fundamentalist, it’s not just a teacher, comforter, illuminator, and expositor-in-chief: it’s the best defense of Scripture’s meaning east or west of the Mississippi. Who needs heretical, man-made teachings such as historical-grammatical exegesis or context when you have the Holy Spirit backing your self-chosen heresy carefully guided interpretation?

The formula is simple: take any Scripture passage from anywhere. See how it agrees with what you’ve been taught? That’s the Holy Spirit showing you what the Scripture really means.

For example:

Ephesians 5:18 – “Be not drunk with wine.” = Don’t drink, ever.

Leviticus 19:28 – “Ye shall not … print any marks on upon you.” = No tattoos, ever.

John 13:35 – “By this shall all men know—” Oops, let’s skip this one.

Malachi 3:8 – “Will a man rob God?” = Tithe or die.

Once the Holy Spirit has “shown” you these meanings, the defense is set. And it’s impervious against all manner of attack or dispute. Observe:

Scorner: “Dude, you’ve got it all wrong. That’s not what that verse means.”
Fundy: “Brother, you’re gonna need the Holy Spirit to enlighten you on this passage.”

Shortcomer: “Well, the Holy Spirit showed me something different here.”
Fundy: “Brother, since I have more of the Spirit than you, I think you would be wise to see what the Bible really says.”

Deceiver: “As you know, I’ve steeped myself in the Holy Spirit, and I came to a different conclusion on that verse.”
Fundy: “To him that thinketh he standeth, brother: take heed, lest he fall.”

Compromiser: “But this is what God-fearing, Bible-believing people hold to, and there’s no real issue with it.”
Fundy: “Brother, as Scripture teaches, even the very e**ct shall be deceived in the last days. And in this Laodicean Age….” Note: “Elect” censored here, as fundies typically dare not utter it.

Liberal, clandestine Calvinist Bible professor: “So as you can follow, the context gives us a different meaning there.”
Fundy: “That might be what ‘man-made’ theology says, but I’m gonna go with what the Holy Spirit says about that.”

The Holy Spirit: Because the last thing God wants is for you to be wrong about interpreting the Bible as it should be interpreted. With the Spirit on your side, you’re always on the winnin’ side. Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gift!

A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.