Phil Armenik: Atum is here
To start the week off right we have a guest post from none other than Doctor Brother Phil Armenik who has a few comments on the changing of the seasons…
Bruthrun, sistren, and reprobates,
Just a few thots after a long Sunday at the church house. Atum is here amen. That meens women wont be walkin round in two peece bathing sutes like a cheep hore amen. But theres still lot of problems in the atum amen. Amen if a woman is immodest in her dress the whether outside dont matter amen.
I went sole winning at the hi skool football game on Friday amen and ran acrost one of the women at the church waring pants. I asked her why she was waring close that pertainth to man and she said it was cold to ware a dress. Amen let me tell you bruthers that is a lie from pit of hell. I dont know if its worst for a woman to be naked or to be waring split garmets amen.
Amen this is what I told her amen if Eskmo women dont ware split garmets nether shuld you amen. Theres never been any time in human histry that women didnt ware dresses until we enter the Layodceen Age. Amen if you dont beleve that just name me one amen. Now women all over world want to put on a pare of pants. Its femnism and rebellon by the woman gants the Bible athority and thats there husband and preechers. Thats also why theres women preechers becuse so many women are lesban amen. Women naturly are attracted to authority and if a person listens to a woman preecher that meens there gay amen becuse there looking for athorty in women. Women preechers started out the Methdist and Episkopal churches and that where the gays started at too amen.
And that just brings us rite back to waring pants. Amen in ever culture the men ware parted undergarmets and the women ware unparted garmets. If theres ever a man waring parted garmets its becuse hes a preest or immam or rabbi or some kind of pagan cult leeder amen. Thats why theres so many gays in the Cathlicks and Anglicans becuse they ware gowns behind the pulpit amen. Theres a strong tie between womens close and being gay amen. Its called being transvestite.
So men if your wifes are telling you its too cold bruthers stand up to her amen. theres no excuse for women to ware pants amen. If its cold outside she can ware long dress and long stockings amen and a cuple layers of long johns amen but she shuldnt be waring no pants.
Till necks time blessings be upon thee and thy house,
Bro Phil Armenik
__________________
Evangelist Rev. Dr. Bro. Phil ARmenik
Moe.D., D.D., D.Min, D.I.P., Th.D., Ph.D., D.Litt, D.Hum., D.Miss.
King James Only, Pretriblatonal, Premilenniall, Dispensatonal, High Standards, Soul Winning, Hell Fire and Brimestone Preachig, Bus Minstry, No Tunges, Old Paths Landmark INDAPENDANT FUNMENTAL BAPTIST!!
Logic Fails
It’s been a while since we checked in with Steve Anderson, so I thought I’d indulge in a little extra dose of crazy today.
I understand this correctly, Steve is telling us that kids who don’t get saved in school chapel will all end up gay. Which is demonstrably true. Obviously.
Strange Comparisons
So what is the lesson here exactly? Anybody?
this is just one of the many wonderful illustrations, pictures, and bits of chicanery that can be found over at kingjamesvideoministries.com
Plea Deals (When Denial Just Isn’t Working Anymore)
One wonders how the defenders, deniers, and other denizens of fundamentalism are going to try to spin this now that Schaap has flat out admitted that had sex with a minor.
The Chicago Sun-Timesl reports:
The recently fired pastor of a Hammond megachurch will plead guilty to taking a minor across state lines for sexual activity, federal prosecutors in Indiana said Tuesday.
Jack Schaap, former pastor of First Baptist Church in Hammond, was fired in August because he allegedly had a relationship with a 17-year-old girl. The church initially said its deacon board fired Schaap because he committed a “sin.”
The church has said the 17-year-old girl and her family are members of First Baptist, which was one of the first megachurches in the country. The church has a congregation of more than 15,000.
Schaap, 54, of Dyer, is scheduled to have his initial appearance Wednesday afternoon before U.S. Judge Paul Cherry in federal court in Hammond.
Church officials said in August that they didn’t believe any crime had occurred but that they had turned the case over to the Lake County Sheriff’s Department. The sheriff’s office and the FBI investigated the case.
Schaap graduated from Hyles-Anderson Bible College, which is associated with First Baptist, and married Cynthia Hyles, daughter of First Baptist founder Jack Hyles.
Church leaders have said Schaap has been spending time since leaving the church with his wife, as the two try to save their marriage.
I predict that the tune will now enter again the old refrain of “can’t we just forgive, forget, and not talk about this anymore?” It’s the same old song just louder and worse.
Let me take this opportunity to repeat myself from a previous piece I wrote about Bob Jones University which is equally applicable to their crazy cousins over at Hyles-Anderson.
The great stratagem is thus to continually change the terms of the debate until you prove that you are right on some solitary point. Once you have done this then claim that the point on which you are standing is the only one that matters and no other arguments can possibly count.
Has there been a moral failing? Point out that the people involved were legally correct.
Was what was done illegal? Appeal to some higher, biblical authority and decry the corruption of the legal system.
Was the action indefensibly immoral, illegal, and unbiblical? Then use your eternal trump card and claim that to focus on it would be a distraction from The Gospel and that nothing can possibly be more important than seeing souls saved.
And do all of the above while endlessly touting your own innocence and integrity and relentlessly denigrating the character and motives of your accusers. But whatever you do, don’t say you were wrong. Don’t apologize. Don’t make restitution. Don’t for a second doubt that you are right simply by being.
For no matter how many court rulings and media stories and witnesses and blogs and protestors rise up against you, you can be confident that you have never been wrong. This is your birthright. This is your heritage. This is the sacred trust passed down from father to son for generations: the gift of being always and forever right.