As some context, the speaker here is Chris Tefft who started Reformers Unanimous at First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana, and taught the Auditorium Sunday School class for 10 years.
The video title and captions are not mine.
Tomorrow Evening
So this guy I bumped into on the Internet asked me to come on his new Internet radio show. I’ll be doing that at 8:00 p.m. Eastern tomorrow.
Commandments Concerning Children’s Songs
And when it shall come up on thee that thou shalt spirit the children of thy congregation away to a separate place so that the sound of their crying shall in no way quench the spirit during the songs or the sermon or the invitation that thou shalt verily rehearse children’s songs in their ears that they may learn of great Bible truths and doctrines such as are meet. And the singing of these songs shall ever be on thus wise…
Thou shalt strive with all diligence to teach them of the Wiggle Worm and of the Poochy Lip and of the what they shall do with their hands and feet when they are happy and they know it. They shall then learn many motion songs and shall verily demonstrate that Father Abraham had both many sons and a wicked case of ADHD. They shall also sing of children of politically incorrect color designations and shall thereby signify that Jesus loves them regardless of their bad luck to be born that way.
And if thou shalt attend to follow all the words of this commandment then shall thy children certainly have joy down in their hearts (where? down in their hearts) and they shall let their little light shine and climb up sunshine mountain to make the devil sit on all manner of unpleasant things. But of the CCM song or of the Praise chorus thou shalt not sing. For they are repetitive and inane and prone to not be full of Bible unlike the good old songs we sang when we were kids and such as shall be sung by our children and our children’s children forever and ever, amen.
Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements p 662.
Reader Submitted Photo: Magnetic Scripture Signs
An alert reader in Michigan snapped a photo of this vehicle and sent it in.
As it turns out, magneticscripturesigns.com is not only a fundy outfit, they’re a fundy outfit “conceived by the Holy Ghost of God 27 years ago.” How’s that for a business plan?
Don’t miss the slideshow on their photos page with lots of great examples of how these their products are used.
Just Making Stuff Up: North Valley Style
I’ve hear rants against a lot of strange things in my time but today’s featured warning may be the strangest one I’ve ever encountered. Not content to merely warn against the normal fundy bogeymen, Jack “I Have Four White Pianos” Trieber now warns us against the evils of: sharing sonogram images.
He says in part:
Perhaps I am an old-fashioned “fuddy duddy,” but is that not sacred? As our home began to be blessed with children, it never even crossed my mind to display such an image to others. Every baby is a gift from God, hidden in the sacredness of a mother’s womb until the day of birth.
Hookay, Jack. You take the weirdness prize for sure.