Category Archives: Uncategorized

Uncategorized

Shirts

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Ok, so it isn’t just fundies who like shirts, I’m a pretty big fan of cool t-shirts myself. If I had infinite resources I would probably call up sites like thinkgeek.com and tell them to send me a couple of each.

But it’s even cooler when the shirt is one that’s you’ve helped design. It has been months since we had our SFL t-shirt design ideas submission but I’ve just now managed to get my hands one of the finalized designs:

I’m really pleased at how this shirt came out. The printing is crisp and clear (a lot better than the photography here would lead you to believe) and the fabric quality quite good.

If you haven’t been there yet, be sure to check out the other designs at the SFL Cafe Press store.

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Authority

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Fundamentalists are obsessed with the question of who is in charge of whom. Authority, authority, who’s got the authority? To define the source of ALL human authority, most fundies agree with Bill Gothard who states the following:

The cool thing about making “the powers that be” into “all human authority” is that it casts a much wider net than the usual home+church+state trifecta. It extends a Divine mandate to schools, lunchrooms, and whatever para-church organization or self-proclaimed managawd happens to be telling you to obey. Fundy U presidents are especially big fans of this.

So what exactly is the consequence of not following every jot and tittle of the law as laid down by these authority figures? Oh, just the removal of God’s protection from your life. God will take away his big umbrella and immediately you’ll begin to suffer all of the trials of Job. (Not to mention that now the demons will getcha.)

He’re a helpful picture to illustrate this:

So evidently, Satan has a little umbrella that somehow creates its own rain of destruction even though God’s bigger umbrella is above it? I’ve tried reading this chart in every possible direction and I’m still more than a little confused.

Either way, the real takeaway here is that whenever someone gives you an order just follow it. Chances are pretty good that if you don’t someone’t going to hit you with an umbrella.

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Proof Texting For Fun and Profit

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Have you ever wanted to prove your opinions with irrefutable support from Scripture but just didn’t know how? Well today, I’m going to show you how easy it is to defend just about any belief you may have from Scripture with the tool of prooftexting. How great it will be to know that all of your thoughts, opinions, and wild guesses are completely Biblical!

The steps are simple

I. Start with a full text…

1 Corinthians 14:26-33 How is it then, brethren? when ye come together, every one of you hath a psalm, hath a doctrine, hath a tongue, hath a revelation, hath an interpretation. Let all things be done unto edifying. 27If any man speak in an unknown tongue, let it be by two, or at the most by three, and that by course; and let one interpret. 28But if there be no interpreter, let him keep silence in the church; and let him speak to himself, and to God. 29Let the prophets speak two or three, and let the other judge. 30If any thing be revealed to another that sitteth by, let the first hold his peace. 31For ye may all prophesy one by one, that all may learn, and all may be comforted. 32And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets. 33For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

II. Yank out a phrase…
“For God is not the author of confusion”

III. Create an interpretation…
God doesn’t like people to ever be confused.

IV. Apply it…
Major premise: God doesn’t like people to ever be confused.
Minor premise: Your disagreement with my belief on anything is going to cause confusion.
Conclusion: Your disagreement is of the Devil.

Congratulations! You’re well on your way to being the most biblical person you know!