Category Archives: Standards

Odds and Ends, Standards

Bathroom Sign Theology

204 Comments

I’m glad that Michelle over at Grace and Honor has given us her top 5 reasons she wears skirts mostly because it gives me a chance to pull this cartoon back out of mothballs:

But seriously. Her reasons boil down to this:

1. An obscure Old Testament Passage told us not to wear things that men wear. Then it told us not to mix fibers or eat shrimp.

2. It’s how they did it in the 50’s.

3. Bathroom Signs.

4. If you don’t then you’re a whoring whorey whore and the men-folks can’t be blamed for eyeballing you.

5. WHY ARE YOU MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS JUST DO WHAT I TELL YOU.

I’m convinced. I’m off to buy a skirt.

Standards

Dressing for the Lord

379 Comments

In preparation for writing his book Dressing for the Lord, David Cloud, famous fundamentalist pontificator, asked some number of fundamentalist men this question:

“In your opinion, which of the following items of female dress cause a real potential for lust?”

  • short skirts
  • tight skirts
  • slit skirts
  • long skirts with slits to the knees
  • sleeveless blouses
  • low cut blouses and dresses
  • tight blouses
  • sheer blouses
  • T-shirts
  • V-neck dresses
  • form-fitting jeans
  • looser-fitting pants
  • shorts
  • one piece bathing suits

and then comes my favorite part where he feels led of the spirit to mention that:

We included pedal pushers and capris in the original survey but most of the men did not know what they are, so it turned out that the comments on those items were too irrelevant to include in this book.

Pedal pushers? I’m surprised there wasn’t also a question on whether bustles give you boners.

Of course, the results of asking a bunch of fundamentalist men what they think about low cut blouses is about as predictable as asking a bunch of NRA members what their views are on French gun laws — and just about as thoughtful and nuanced.

Unsurprisingly, when you’re a fundamentalist confirmation bias is actually considered a positive.