Category Archives: Odds and Ends

Finding Sin In The Camp

Once upon an Old Testament time there was a man named Achan who ignored God’s orders and took a five-fingered discount on some bling while plundering and pillaging the city of Jericho. The end result was that a bunch of people died because he had brought sin into the camp.

The cry of “there’s sin in the camp” is one that’s greatly loved by fundamentalists as a reason why bad things are happening or good ones aren’t. After all, God may want to do a great and mighty work here but that dime novel you’ve got hidden in the corn crib is standing in His way! Get the sin out of the camp!

The “I got the sin out of the camp” tale is a favorite type of war story for evangelists. It seems that evangelists are given a special gift of looking down into the audience and seeing which specific person is the reason why revival hasn’t broken out in a service. So the evangelist’s job is to preach harder and harder until that person finally breaks down and repents in tears. The very next night 5,378 people will get saved because they got the SIN OUT OF THE CAMP! Glory!

In the realm of fundamentalist guilt trips this is a very powerful one because it puts the malefactor in the position of being guilty not only for his own sin but also for being the instrument of other people’s destruction. Nothing beats the feeling of sitting in a revival service wracking your brain to see if there’s something you did that might be keeping revival from busting out all over.

Strangely enough, little things like a pastor’s affair or a deacon’s tax fraud never stop “revival” from happening.  It’s always hidden rock music and secret trips to the movies. Weird how that works.

E-mail

It’s time again for….Emails From Fundies! I almost hesitate to post this one since it’s so blatantly attention-seeking but I haven’t posted anything else today so here goes…

Hello,

I am one of those ignorant Christians who you dedicated this website to. Thank you very much for mocking my Saviour Jesus Christ, my Bible, my beliefs, my denomination, my pastor, my church, my family, and for falsely accusing us, condemning us, and calling us all sorts of names on your blogs. I count it an honor that you have featured a website and ministry which I am personally involved in: kjvteens4christ.

Your website is very effective. An entire website dedicated to criticizing believers in Christ will be very lucrative for you in this world.

You have permission to use this email with whatever angst you have against believers such as myself. In fact, dedicate one of your t-shirts to me.

Sincerely,
Kirk Suchowesky

John 15:18-20

18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

(AND, of course, you all know what version I quoted!)

For the record, this site is not lucrative at all. People like you are the reason I keep going anyway, Kirk.

Wannabe Fraternities

Here’s a clip from a Phi Beta Chi society meeting at BJU. I witnessed similar scenes of stupidity in my “collegian” at PCC where the chief form of entertainment was making this guy drink root beer until he threw up.

This is the college that would blank out all the commercials during the evening news (one of the few times the televisions in the lobbies were turned on) lest someone see an advertisement for beer or hear rock music. But making someone puke up two liters of soda? That’s just good clean fun.

I usually sat in the back and tried to do homework.