Category Archives: Doctrine

The Perpetual Question

As part of the never ending quest for a broader definition of fundamentalism (including but not by any means exclusive of Independent Baptist fundamentalism) I’d like to contribute a few thoughts on what fundamentalism IS by taking a quick look at what it IS NOT.

Fundamentalism is not just believing that the Bible is true; it’s believing that only one tiny group of people knows the “real truth” of the Bible.

Fundamentalism isn’t having rules and standards; it’s having rulers who make themselves ultimate standard.

Fundamentalism isn’t refusing to serve alcohol; it refusing to serve anybody who isn’t “deserving.”

Fundamentalism isn’t believing that your convictions are right; it’s believing that they could never be wrong.

Fundamentalism isn’t applying our religious fervor to our political choices; it’s trusting political choices to bring about religious fervor.

Fundamentalism isn’t a belief that people are sinners; it’s a belief that some few chosen spiritual elite are not.

Fundamentalism isn’t striving for personal holiness; it’s wallowing in prideful ignorance.

Fundamentalism isn’t loving hymns of the faith; it’s refusing to accept as part of the faith those who don’t love hymns.

Fundamentalism isn’t teaching your children self-sacrifice; it’s happily sacrificing them on the altar of other people’s selfishness.

Fundamentalism is not simply believing that God created the world; it’s living in a world run by a god of our own creation.

Hubris

From a quick look at the empirical evidence, there’s little doubt in my mind that clear-thinking and strong-willed people tend to not stay for long in fundamentalism. So how exactly do fundamentalists explain why so many of their best and brightest heading for greener pastures?

For the answer, we can look to “Dr.” Rick Flanders who this past August wrote an article entitled “He’s Leaving Fundamentalism” to explain in no uncertain terms that if a person is leaving fundyland it certainly isn’t the fault of fundamentalism. Blaming the person who is leaving is the rule of the day.

Here are a few key strategies we can learn from…

1. Treat the definition of “fundamentalism” as if it merely referred to a person who believes “the fundamentals” of the Christian faith.

“Although there is a human religious movement called the Fundamentalist, and also distinct movements legitimately labeled Fundamentalist, Fundamentalism itself is not a human movement, but rather a divine truth.”

“Whatever the people are doing who are “leaving Fundamentalism,” it is bad. “Leaving Fundamentalism” inevitably means backing off from policies and principles that have characterized those who stood most faithfully for the Bible in our lifetime.”

Oh, really? So what about all the huge glaring problems in the movement? Well once you’ve conflated being “a fundamentalist” with being the only ones who have “the truth” then you can…

2. Downplay the faults and paint them as small in comparison to the horrors of leaving “the truth.”

“In some cases the defector is parting from evidence of carnality in some of the Fundamentalists he has known. But Fundamentalism should not be rejected because Fundamentalists need revival. Tell us what you mean. Surely you do not mean that you are giving up truth because men who have taught it have been found to be less than spiritual all the time. Many Fundamentalists are sincere and holy people, although some have been found to be less than so. Fundamentalism should not be abandoned just because Fundamentalists need revival.”

Oh. Ok then. Just suck it up and keep on trucking for Jesus no matter how bad things get. If there are problems just shut up about them and remember that we’re the only people who really have the truth. In fact you can all just…

3. Stick Your Head In The Sand

“Fundamentalism is the dividing of light from darkness, and is nothing but a good thing. Is that what our disillusioned brethren are leaving?”

No, Rick, they’re leaving because your corrupt movement refuses to deal with its own problems of pride and arrogance. It refuses to seek justice victims of crimes and instead protects criminals. It divides the body of Christ over silly issues of personal preference. It calls good evil and evil good. That is why people are leaving, Rick. They’re leaving because they love Jesus and His church too much to stay around and watch it be exploited and perverted.

The hubris is astounding.

Re-Baptizing

Are they Catholic? Dunk them well and pray that it will serve to cleanse them of their popish ways.

Are they Anglican? Send them under the water and command them to drink no more.

Are they Presbyterian? Bury them in the baptismal pool and tell them that it’s a good thing they didn’t show up to heaven merely sprinkled.

Are they Methodist? Tell them grab their noses and prepare for immersion for their baby baptism just doesn’t cut it.

Are they Southern Baptist? Wash them again and pray that the stench of their old NIV will not linger upon them.

Are they Independent Fundamental Pre-Trip King-James-Only Soulwinning Baptists? If they have walked the aisle again and prayed The Prayer again then baptise them again just in case.

For the baptism of water may only be a symbol to us but it’s useful for separating the congregation of the blessed from those who will likely be left standing outside the gate. It’s not so much what you’re being baptized into, after all. It’s what you’re being baptized against.

Prosperity Gospel

Fundamentalists generally rail against the so-called “health and wealth” gospels that promise prosperity to anybody who has enough faith to pretend to be an Old Testament Jew. Instead, the fundamentalists insists that financial prosperity is only for those who have enough faith to tithe like an Old Testament Jew. And you might still get sick — otherwise we would have nothing to talk about during prayer request time on Wednesday Night.

Along with this promise of the windows of heaven opening up a blessing upon modern day tithers there also is a warning that if a person does not tithe that God will make his car break down or his dog die or visit some other calamity upon him of equal or greater value than his tithe. Of course, none of these things ever happen to tithers. Ever.

It’s quite a reality check when hard economic times come and affect both the tither and non-tither alike. It seems the rain really does fall upon the just and the unjust alike. Not that you’ll ever hear that verse used in a tithing sermon.

So bring your tithes into the storehouse and give of the first fruits of your labor. Only don’t try giving actual fruit. We prefer cash in small unmarked bills.

The Adamic Nature Of Infants and Children

Fundamentalists are huge fans of original sin and never hesitate to point out that everyone from newborns to octogenarians are prone to spiritual corruption and gross wickedness. Even a child (of unspecified age and ability) is known by his doings.

One might be inclined to wonder how it is that an infant who possesses neither speech or nor rational thought could be guilty of willful sin but apparently the little critters are just rife with it. You see, sometimes they cry when there’s (and here’s the important bit) nothing wrong. Indeed this is deception of the most base kind involving fooling another human being into paying them attention when they simply don’t deserve it. That such evil should exist in the heart of a baby is breathtaking.

Indeed, the go-to illustration for most fundy pastors when addressing the topic of the heart’s corruption generally involves some infraction of their baby or toddler. Now godless, secular, atheist psychologists might have some theory or another on things like developmental stages and cognitive ability but fundamentalists have never been much bothered by psychology…or anything else. No, the simple reality is that your little smiling cherub is a willful and premeditated liar and the truth is not him.

Heed this warning well and watch for the telltale signs of corruption.