Category Archives: Doctrine
In Their Own Words: The Appearance of Evil
I know some folks probably thought I was exaggerating when I cited root beer in dark bottles as a target of the “Appearance of Evil” rule in fundy land. I wasn’t.
And to demonstrate that point, here’s Bill Lytell (he of the gospel ice cream truck) to set us straight
Friday Challenge: Doctrinal Jingles
Fundamentalists love using a cute turn of phrase to “prove” a doctrinal point even when they are far from Biblical. Â These rhetorical flourishes are a tried and true method of simply stopping thought dead in its tracks whenever a disagreement occurs.
For example: Â “‘All’ means all and that’s all ‘All’ means.” Patently false…yet somehow strangely compelling.
What’s your favorite fundy doctrinal jingle?
Fundy Love Day 5: God’s Sovereignty (Whether They Like It Or Not)
Some indeed preach Christ even of envy and strife; and some also of good will: The one preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my bonds: But the other of love, knowing that I am set for the defence of the gospel. What then? notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice, yea, and will rejoice.
It’s perhaps the bitterest pill for former fundamentalists to swallow to learn to acknowledge that sometimes God sovereignly uses fundies in spite of themselves to accomplish His will in the spreading of some small glimmers truth and the saving of lost souls. Hey, if He can use Balaam’s ass…
Nobody can deny that the abuses in fundamentalism are legion and they are in no way justified even when they come from allegedly good intentions. There can be no excuse given for the battered and broken bodies and spirits of those who have run afoul of the worst that fundamentalism represents. But not all fundamentalists are of such and I’ve also received blessings given by God but passed on through scarred and stained fundamentalist hands; and so have many others.
I like to think that I’ll be with many of my fundamentalist friends and family members again someday in a place where all the errors of fundamentalist theology (and every other ism, schism, sect, and camp) will be behind us. For God is in control of each person’s destiny in, through, and out of fundamentalism. Even as my heart breaks for those who have suffered so much more than I, fundamentalism is part of the path I’ve walked and I’ve gained wisdom from my scars. That being said, the experiences of others are no less legitimate if they are different than mine and some wounds run very deep.
And so I’ll continue on laughing about the silliness, marveling at the craziness, and raising my voice like a trumpet against the harm and injustice found in fundamentalism. And I rejoice, yea, and will rejoice that whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached.
This post concludes the week of fundy love. We will now return to our regularly scheduled inanity, satire, craziness, and all around good times.
Keeping “Short Accounts”
There are a select handful of verses that any fundamentalist worth his sanctified salt can quote by heart. Among these is Psalm 66:18 “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.”
The fundamentalist interprets these words to mean that even though a person is saved and has God as his Heavenly Father that any misstep will shut God’s ears to him and leave him without aid or succor in his time of need. Keeping “short accounts” with God is the only way to be sure that He’s listening when we call. (I recommend trying this with your kids too, it’s loads of fun to ignore their cries for help until they remember why you’re mad at them and apologize. Take that, kids!)
Did you fail to walk a mile to return the sixty-three cents that a clerk accidentally undercharged you? Don’t even think about praying for your daily bread until you confess and forsake. Did you have a moment of weakness and curse at a crazy motorist on the freeway? Good luck invoking Divine help if you should crash your car!
The rules of this breakdown in communication are unclear. If a person commits a sin at sixteen and then forgets about it, will God not hear him when he is sixty? Must each sin be named specifically and be brought for forgiveness or is a blanket request of “forgive us for all the other stuff we forgot” sufficient? Best to hedge your bets and repent as much as possible just in case.
The old account may have been settled long ago but according to fundamentalists, we’re still running up quite a tab. Confess early and often.