116 thoughts on “GOH: I Wonder Have I Done My Best For Jesus”
Jesus is a harsh taskmaster.
I absolutely loathe this song. It’s nothing but Fundy guilt manipulation, it only makes you feel lousy about yourself. This is NOT how God operates! πΏ
How about “I’ll Wish I Had Given Him More”??
This song is very introspective; it makes me examine, not Jesus Christ and what He has done, but MY works, and what I have wrought.
Guilt, guilt, guilt, just like your name. π₯
I actually used to like this song, which a retired missionary lady in our church used to sing acapella for some reason as a “special.” Yes, in the IFB context, the words carry their usual resonance of guilt and shame, but when one considers this song from a broader perspective than just the “DO MORE SOULWINNING” mantra of the IFB, the words take on a meaning that I think has significance for all believers.
Agreed. Since Christ gave all, I should be willing to give some.
It’s not required (since Christ gave more than we could ever hope), but in following the command to “Love your neighbor, and Love God” we ought to probably do more. Not out of obligation to the pastor, or sense of duty and guilt. But out of pure love for Him.
Like was said by Leanne, sometimes our best may be feeding the poor, and others its simply reflecting on God’s glory. Christ wants our best, he does not demand it.
If you adhere to the atonement view of the Cross, the idea that you can somehow pay him back, seems to be anathema to the whole Jesus-paid-it-all mantra.
But what has Jesus done for me lately? That whole dying (but he still alive) for my sins, was like 2,000 years ago. A new X-Box would be nice.
Your statement provokes my twisted mind to recall a probably nonexistent Seinfeld episode: “The Obligation” π― π
(ducks to avoid thunderbolt)
In my study of Scripture and my understanding of Christian values–grace, hospitality, love, etc–found in the life, death and resurrection of Christ, one of the central tenets is to love or be hospitable or gracious with no expectation of reciprocation. Yes, God’s mercy can inspire a response. But what a burden this song places on us…..doing my best….which cannot compare to what has been done. And who determines my best? On some days my best is feeding the homeless. On others it is not cursing out my neighbor.
What I can say is making someone feel guilty or adding a burden to someone can never be considered to be “doing my best.”
Your last sentence is a really good point. Jesus condemned the Pharisees for laying heavy burdens on people.
Some days the best I can do is getting out of bed and feeding my cats.
Other days, I do all right.
But repaying Jesus is still out of the question.
I’m thinking that Jesus is very supportive of your feeding your cats. Sometimes that’s enough. π
I can think of a lot of things to “feed your cats” to. π―
I hope you live long enough to regret that statement. πΏ
Have you really done your best?
– Are you in God’s house everytine the doors are open?
– Do you turn your phone off during services so you don’t run the risk of you phone ringing or vibrating and causing someone to miss salvation by your distraction?
– Do you, “Go to the bathroom before service and then “endure to the end” and sit quietly in pain until the service is over? Again, every time someone gets up, attention is shifted from the message to that person. It’s another chance for the person God is dealing with to be distracted.” *
– Do you, “Teach your child that there is nothing more important in the world than a church service?”
– When you go tho the house of the Lord do you, “Dress Up” – You should also have a level of dress that is above your everyday fare. If you just said, “I don’t dress up for anybody”you have a serious pride problem. You think you’re too wonderful to have to humble yourself and admit that there could actually be someone in existence that is above you socially. There is! His name is “the LORD.” You should “put on your best” to go to church. Not because it’s a fashion show. Not to out-dress someone else. But because you are going to the place that God may meet with you and you should humble yourself and dress so you won’t be embarrassed if He shows up.”
Men: wear a dress shirt and tie. That’s right, a tie, even if it’s just a clip-on. God is more important than you! Dress up for Him.
Ladies: I don’t care if you think you have to dress like “Rosie-the-Riveter” during the week just to show how liberated you are, wear a dress to church. Why? Because even the God-hating world knows that a woman wears a dress when she dresses up. Watch the Academy Awards and see. Get a dress and wear it to church. And not a dress with a plunging neckline or slit up to the armpits. No one wants to see that “feminine” butterfly tattoo you have on your chest or the top of your hose. Dress up. Dress decent. God is more important than you! Dress up for Him.” *
Give him your very best so you can guilt god into blessing you when you need it. π
God is so weak that a phone ringing or vibrating can “cause someone to miss salvation”?
If salvation is that fragile or volatile, then why bother with it?
Do these preachers ever listen to their own words? Do they have any idea what they’re saying?
Phones going off and people getting up to pee seem to be at the top of the list of Things that can overpower the Holy Spirit… that and dogs that jump up on couches during the sinner’s prayer. π π
A) For you trauma surgeons out there, it’s called “vibrate.” The rest of you: You can’t leave your phone in the car? For 45 min? For real?
B) You can’t hold it for 45 min? Really? Well fine then, but next week let’s try to take care of that beforehand. M’kay?
Peace,
Hey! its either go pee or look like I’m dancing… and we know we can’t have none of “THAT” going on in church! π
ITBand, I turn mine all the way off.
Phones ringing during a meeting annoy me.
But that’s quite different from saying a cell phone has more power than the Holy Spirit has.
The Don: And on the 8th day God created Flomax.
Big Gary: “But thatβs quite different from saying a cell phone has more power than the Holy Spirit has.”
I suppose I have a very different take on that. Jesus said, “No one comes to me unless the Father who sent me draws him.” And lots of other similar stuff. Bottom line, if you’re sitting in some church somewhere on some Sunday morning the Holy Spirit is clearly drawing you there. You are not there because you don’t have anything else to do. You are there because you are being ever so gently nudged. Such people don’t need to be harangued to get them to follow Jesus. They already are following Jesus. Otherwise, they’d be on the golf course.
Flowmax?? Is that like putting a cork in it?
Like to have shot my eye out when I tried that…
Hysterical. π
Women: Move along please. Nothing to see here.
Actually the opposite. (Or so the docs tell me). Relaxes the prostate. Go more when you go so you don’t have to go as often.
Peace,
“B) You canβt hold it for 45 min? Really? Well fine then, but next week letβs try to take care of that beforehand. Mβkay?”
LOL. What kind of IFB church have you been going to where the services are only 45 minutes?? Anything less than 2 hours is indicative of a dead church, amen?
So true!
Left it Behind:
“LOL. What kind of IFB church have you been going to where the services are only 45 minutes?? Anything less than 2 hours is indicative of a dead church, amen?”
Sorry, just visiting . Grew up SBC. Been Catholic now for over a decade. 2 hours and Father would be there by himself! π
The issue is that the speaker is trying to manipulate people into coming forward, and distractions may stop his hypnotic lure.
The Holy Spirit is NOT that week, and when He convicts a soul, a minor distraction will not stop them from finding out what they need to know.
Do you, βTeach your child that there is nothing more important in the world than a church service?β
Uh, no, I don’t really want to be father to a self-righteous idolator.
Also, I can’t help noticing that “a church service” is not mentioned even once in the Gospels.
Bull Gipp seems to believe that God lives in church and never leaves the building.
I don’t know what religion that is, but it isn’t Christianity.
I noticed that too. But it goes back to the church building being “God’s house” in the IFB theology. (With the emphasis on the building being part of the American materialism that informs most conservative evangelical theology of every stripe.) Last I checked, the NT teaches that every believer is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
This is from the NT.
1 Timothy 3:14-15
I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these things to you so that, if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth.
So yes, your body is a temple, but the church is also the house of God.
The context of that chapter of Timothy is a discourse about the church as a community of people, not a building, a location, or a ceremony at a particular time and place.
Jay, I’m surprised you would write that. Church always refers to people in the NT – a gathering of people; not a building.
I’m reminded of singing this in children’s Sunday School:
The church is not a building,
the church is not a steeple,
the church is not a resting place,
the church is a people.
Bull Gipp quote from this article: “The Pastor is more important than you are”…
Reminds me of this chorus-
‘Warning signs are flashing everywhere, but you pay no heed.
‘Stead of slowing down the pace, you keep a-picking up speed-
Disaster’s getting closer every time we meet-
Going ninety miles an hour down a dead-end street’
– Bob Dylan (based on Hank Snow’s original)
For whoever has ears to hear…
Contrast this with the Orthodox church, which actually encourages people to get up and move around during parts of the service, especially at the beginning. Times during the service when such movement is not deemed inappropriate are times when it is considered irreverent to God, not to the priest.
That bit about how women always wear dresses to the Academy Awards is intriguing, good point there. π
I’m still Fundy/old-fashioned enough to think a woman does look better in a dress. On the other hand, there are some men who look infinitely better in a kilt. π π³
So the Academy Awards program is to be the cultural standard Christians should follow?
All right, then.
Of course, we all know that you will NEVER see “a plunging neckline” or a slit skirt at the Oscars.
For a Worldly Ceremony (and thus Forever Off Limits to Real True Xtians), the women there do look pretty good, even if they forget the Two-Fingers Rule. π
I think women look best naked. But I might be a little biased π
π
I’m still trying to figure out how he would know what worldly people are wearing to a party to celebrate Hellywood.
“Call your pastor, “Pastor” – He’s not “Bob” or “Pastor Bill.” I don’t care what that devil Rick Warren told you, he is called of God to do what he’s doing. Even your doctor isn’t called of God.”
Where in the Bible are we told to distinguish “clergy” from “laymen?” Why don’t we just call these pastors, “Mr. President,” or, “Chief” as in CEO? At least we would be honest by not scripturizing titles and positions.
It’s a matter of respect for the position; I call my doctor “Doctor” – the pastor is “Pastor X”. When my friend became director of our choir, I trained myself to say “Mr X” or “Bro X” and not “Bill” when I’m in choir – outside of that, we are still Bill and GR to each other.
OMG. I can’t even imagine the level of poor theology that doesn’t understand calling to be accomplishing occupationally what God has vocationally called you to through designing you.
Anyone that tells you a doctor or a plumber isn’t “called” the same way as a Pastor/church staff person is called, is lying.
We call our minister “Don” (his first name), and he’s not the least bit offended by it.
Lots of pastors prefer to be called by their actual names.
As far as I can tell, Paul, Peter, Silas, and the rest were also simply called by their names, not “the Most Reverend Doctor Peter,” or whatever.
The Don has raised a good point:
“Men: wear a dress shirt and tie. Thatβs right, a tie, even if itβs just a clip-on.”
Darrell, could we please have a post on SFL regarding the theological significance of the traditional tie vs. the clip-on tie? π
I tried to read the Gipps artcle but my brain melted…. Oddly enough, my church is doing a series on the 7 churches in Revelation. Yesterday was Sardis. (Revelation 3:1-6)One of the points brought out was that it looked good and had a reputation for being alive and “doing Good theing for God”, but was spiriually DEAD.
Hmmm……
Yes, IFB, you should ask yourselves if you have cared enough for others.
Caring about them means carping on teenage girls about their hair and how they’re trying to dress more like the world (in spite of ankle-length skirts) while not doing a damn thing to get them out of an abusive home situation. Priorities, man!
Ah, what would Jesus ever do without me?
I can’t make out most of the lyrics (except for the syntactically-incorrect “I wonder have I done my best for Jesus”), but it’s just as well.
When I try to do my best for Jesus I just end up feeling self-righteous. *face palm* π
Nice tune.
Lousy theology.
Have I done my best for Jesus?
No (“best” implies my best all of the time, and even after He saved me, I am still flawed).
How come the choir is not in neat rows? I thought everything was supposed to be done decently and in order? This is obviously causing confusion and we all know who the author of that is, amen?
Preach it, brother! Oh wait, I’m a woman, I can’t say that.
Choirs generally get a pass on the “decently and in order” command. (Especially since the choir director is usually sleeping with one of the choir members. That happened at least twice, and probably three times, during my IFB upbringing.) As long as they make a “joyful noise” HAHA, ROFLOLZ, it’s all good. π
Hay-men!! *waves hankie* park it there, Scorp.
I want to punch a kitten in the throat. Have they not read that even our BEST is nothing but filthy rags?
Hey, be nice to the kittehs. It’s not their fault.
Yeah, don’t blame the cats!
When did a little innocent kitten ever hurt you? π‘
Punch a kitty in the throat? It’s not the kitty’s fault the IFB is a mess! Most IFB preachers hate cats! Just another good reason to have cats! π
Those kittens have it coming! Go get them! π
Oooo, may you never have a convenient parking spot again in your life, or the next one, or the NEXT one. π‘ πΏ
I’m not sure if the “next one” refers to the next parking spot down from the most convenient parking spot, or the next life, but either way, that seems fair! π
You tell him, Panda!
If you punch a kitten, it will break the Internet.
You have been warned.
I rescind my permission to punch freely. I can’t risk it.
More like have I done my best for my Mog. Remember, work for the night is coming!
Fundy Logic:
(1) The MOG is God’s man.
(2) Jesus was both God and man.
(3) Jesus was God’s man.
(4) The MOG = Jesus.
(5) Doing your best for Jesus = Doing your best for the MOG.
(NB: I bet more than one of you has a page of “sermon notes” that more or less outlines this argument.)
(One also notes the corollary conclusion to this syllogism: “Because Jesus was a man of God and Jesus was both man and God, then Jesus was His own man.” Thus, the MOG is also his own man and should be properly accountable to no one.)
I think that raising kids with impossible demands for how to please God creates neurosis. And those who make the impossible demands are manipulators, and, at times, sociopathic.
Wow. You just described my father, my childhood, and the results.
Ever notice how fundy church choirs tend to consist of relatively young people (i.e., not a lot of gray hair)? My own non-fundy church choir is slightly larger than this one, and has an abundance of gray hair and bald heads. I tend to think that this is because of the fundies’ emphasis on “work, work, work”, wearing down the saints to the point that few survive long enough to still have enough energy to serve in church in their golden years.
Will I be carried through the sky on flowery beds of ease, while others fought to win the prize and sailed through bloody seas?
Sounds like a good gig if you can get it. π
π
I love pirates.
You will if you just don’t forget to let your voice climb steadily up till it reaches a certain point, then let it bear down with strong emphasis upon the topmost word, to plunge down on the last two syllables as if from a spring-board. π
I take it you’ve also read “Tom Sawyer”?
I’ll finish the verse for ya:
Yes! I’d be carried blissfully
on petal’d beds sublime,
If that’s what God has planned for me
in His own blessed time.
O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?
~ Paul to the Galatians
Question……why do “song leaders” flail their arms up and down and side to side while “leading” singing in these churches? Would the whole congregation fall out of rhythm and the song come to a screeching halt without it?
What was happening at the first minute of the video? If that was an IFB service and not some sort of skit, they have serious issues.
No, this is how some IFB churches show that the “spirit” is moving. If you pay close attention to the guy on the left side of the dais he is the trigger man, when he takes off it’s on like Donkey Kong. Complete with a do-it-yourself baptism.
I’m sorry but that wasn’t from God…the self baptizing, the throwing of the jacket on the pastor/song leader, the near injuring climbing over people in the pews….they’re filled with something and its not the Holy Spirit.
I know that… and you know that… but I can guarantee you that Monday morning they woke up and told everyone how god moved in that service. π
The teen song-leading makes me sad. If that had been me, as soon as church was over, my parents would have taken me aside for a lecture on how I did it all wrong, and with the wrong attitude, and if the church could see my heart like God they would never have let me up there, and how no one could follow along to my song leading because it was so bad, and that’s why the singing sounded so bad, and how the other teens that got up there did better than me because they had humility and enthusiasm and a good attitude and submitted to their parents, and blah blah blah blah.
While I never did song leading, I did play the piano, and was frequently berated in this manner after a service in which I played.
I’m sorry that you weren’t encouraged but rather belittled. The constant striving for perfection often causes fundies to forget to be grateful for their present blessings, like a son who played piano.
Don – do you have a link to the actual service (so i can hear the audio) and what church is this?
Here is the original SLF posting with the original audio, and YouTube link.
well dang george, you could have pasted the link! I give you one simple thing to do…
The reality is that in most fundy churches, the pianist, not the “song leader,” actually leads the singing. This is because a pianist must, by definition, have actual musical ability. (Okay, sometimes it’s not much.) But the “song leader” is in a position of leadership and thus it matters much more whether he is a good church member rather than whether he has any musical ability whatsoever.
Our church fired their excellent song leader because the pastor’s wife claimed that she smelled alcohol on his breath one Sunday morning. (Don’t know how she was close enough to tell.) He was replaced by a former football player who worked as an electrician and admitted to abusing his wife. He had no musical ability, but Mr. Football was cute, cute, cute, at least according to the choir ladies, including my mother, who flirted with him and frequently expressed how much they enjoyed ogling his bottom while he had his back turned to the choir for congregational song leading. He called my mother “lunch lady” for a reason I have never been able to determine. She ate it up with a spoon.
Preacher liked song leader #2 because he was super young and a complete screw-up at life, so he was no threat to the preacher’s dominion over the church. I forgot to mention that fired song-leader #1’s dad was a retired preacher who kinda sorta was the de facto head of the dissidents in the church who didn’t care for the preacher. I.e., he WAS a threat to the preacher. (NB: Mr. Retired Preacher was the genius who once told us that Iran was named after Haran in the Bible.)
Anyway, they kept #2 around for quite a while until his wife left him and he quit going to church.
I should add that the official line was not that his wife left him because she was fed up with his temper and abuse, but rather that she left him because she was raised Church of Christ and was therefore “not saved.”
Deacon’s Son that is just sad. In our former church the choir followed the piano. The choir director was musically inclined and actually sang in a local choir that did shows, but his wife the pianist really ran the show, she was a very talented musician. When in came to musicality and dynamics she would instruct the choir from the piano on how to do things correctly. She would set the tempos for the songs and the choir followed the piano better than they followed the director.
Interesting . . . it’s usually Churches of Christ claiming that a person is not saved because they are not part of a Church of Christ!
I was fired because my wife was seen in public with britches on. Best thing that ever happened to me! π
I spent 41 years as a church pianist (multiple churches over the years) – many of them along with a “song leader” who had no musical ability. But, heaven help you if you failed to follow the leader …
(Not currently playing the piano anywhere, but yes, at least sometimes I do miss playing).
Its about control/being in charge. I was one of the few song leaders who actually had a musical background, I had classes in directing, theory, etc. There are two types of IFB song leaders:
1) They know what their doing and are using their hands in a knock out drag out fight with the piano player over the tempo.
2) They have no clue, and are flailing their hands following the piano player to make it look like a man is in charge.
In both cases the song leader should have the Mog in his peripheral vision to ensure that the song service is going according to the will of the Mog.
I see those women and I see oppression. I see a group of people so overexposed and absolutely in each other’s business all the time that the only thing keeping them alive is the gossip about what unholy thing this out-of-favor-with-the-right-group person is doing vs. this person. What she was wearing and what type of hair she has etc. Just seeing them transported me back to the bad old days.
As Penny says in Hairspray, “So you’ve met my mom!”
HeyMan! Another Fundy favorite!
What.”church.” is. this? (first clip). They need to build a fitness center with a pool. Is this their definition of I Cor. 14:40? “Let everything be done decently and in order.”
Actually, most of those people are doing just fine. None of them are even approaching obese.
Thought the rather rotund lady at the 27 second mark was making her move…MOG sent her back to her seat…
Girl in the front row forgot her black binder. She will no doubt be expected to present herself to the preacher’s office after church for counseling and a spanking.
The quality of the song is inversely proportional to the number of key changes.
Got to be a GOH of fundyland, since the meter is perfect for ballroom dancing.
Dear SFL Reader:
No, you haven’t done your best. Guilt is a great manipulator. Ask any ex-catholic how it worked for them.
Christian Socialist
That lady in the front wearing the checkered dress is in love with this song…kinda funny to watch her sing especially after the key change
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Jesus is a harsh taskmaster.
I absolutely loathe this song. It’s nothing but Fundy guilt manipulation, it only makes you feel lousy about yourself. This is NOT how God operates! πΏ
How about “I’ll Wish I Had Given Him More”??
This song is very introspective; it makes me examine, not Jesus Christ and what He has done, but MY works, and what I have wrought.
Guilt, guilt, guilt, just like your name. π₯
I actually used to like this song, which a retired missionary lady in our church used to sing acapella for some reason as a “special.” Yes, in the IFB context, the words carry their usual resonance of guilt and shame, but when one considers this song from a broader perspective than just the “DO MORE SOULWINNING” mantra of the IFB, the words take on a meaning that I think has significance for all believers.
Agreed. Since Christ gave all, I should be willing to give some.
It’s not required (since Christ gave more than we could ever hope), but in following the command to “Love your neighbor, and Love God” we ought to probably do more. Not out of obligation to the pastor, or sense of duty and guilt. But out of pure love for Him.
Like was said by Leanne, sometimes our best may be feeding the poor, and others its simply reflecting on God’s glory. Christ wants our best, he does not demand it.
If you adhere to the atonement view of the Cross, the idea that you can somehow pay him back, seems to be anathema to the whole Jesus-paid-it-all mantra.
But what has Jesus done for me lately? That whole dying (but he still alive) for my sins, was like 2,000 years ago. A new X-Box would be nice.
Your statement provokes my twisted mind to recall a probably nonexistent Seinfeld episode: “The Obligation” π― π
(ducks to avoid thunderbolt)
In my study of Scripture and my understanding of Christian values–grace, hospitality, love, etc–found in the life, death and resurrection of Christ, one of the central tenets is to love or be hospitable or gracious with no expectation of reciprocation. Yes, God’s mercy can inspire a response. But what a burden this song places on us…..doing my best….which cannot compare to what has been done. And who determines my best? On some days my best is feeding the homeless. On others it is not cursing out my neighbor.
What I can say is making someone feel guilty or adding a burden to someone can never be considered to be “doing my best.”
Your last sentence is a really good point. Jesus condemned the Pharisees for laying heavy burdens on people.
Some days the best I can do is getting out of bed and feeding my cats.
Other days, I do all right.
But repaying Jesus is still out of the question.
I’m thinking that Jesus is very supportive of your feeding your cats. Sometimes that’s enough. π
I can think of a lot of things to “feed your cats” to. π―
I hope you live long enough to regret that statement. πΏ
Have you really done your best?
– Are you in God’s house everytine the doors are open?
– Do you turn your phone off during services so you don’t run the risk of you phone ringing or vibrating and causing someone to miss salvation by your distraction?
– Do you, “Go to the bathroom before service and then “endure to the end” and sit quietly in pain until the service is over? Again, every time someone gets up, attention is shifted from the message to that person. It’s another chance for the person God is dealing with to be distracted.” *
– Do you, “Teach your child that there is nothing more important in the world than a church service?”
– When you go tho the house of the Lord do you, “Dress Up” – You should also have a level of dress that is above your everyday fare. If you just said, “I don’t dress up for anybody”you have a serious pride problem. You think you’re too wonderful to have to humble yourself and admit that there could actually be someone in existence that is above you socially. There is! His name is “the LORD.” You should “put on your best” to go to church. Not because it’s a fashion show. Not to out-dress someone else. But because you are going to the place that God may meet with you and you should humble yourself and dress so you won’t be embarrassed if He shows up.”
Men: wear a dress shirt and tie. That’s right, a tie, even if it’s just a clip-on. God is more important than you! Dress up for Him.
Ladies: I don’t care if you think you have to dress like “Rosie-the-Riveter” during the week just to show how liberated you are, wear a dress to church. Why? Because even the God-hating world knows that a woman wears a dress when she dresses up. Watch the Academy Awards and see. Get a dress and wear it to church. And not a dress with a plunging neckline or slit up to the armpits. No one wants to see that “feminine” butterfly tattoo you have on your chest or the top of your hose. Dress up. Dress decent. God is more important than you! Dress up for Him.” *
Give him your very best so you can guilt god into blessing you when you need it. π
*From BULL GIPP’s “How to Behave in Church” http://www.samgipp.com/essays/?page=63.htm
God is so weak that a phone ringing or vibrating can “cause someone to miss salvation”?
If salvation is that fragile or volatile, then why bother with it?
Do these preachers ever listen to their own words? Do they have any idea what they’re saying?
Phones going off and people getting up to pee seem to be at the top of the list of Things that can overpower the Holy Spirit… that and dogs that jump up on couches during the sinner’s prayer. π π
A) For you trauma surgeons out there, it’s called “vibrate.” The rest of you: You can’t leave your phone in the car? For 45 min? For real?
B) You can’t hold it for 45 min? Really? Well fine then, but next week let’s try to take care of that beforehand. M’kay?
Peace,
Hey! its either go pee or look like I’m dancing… and we know we can’t have none of “THAT” going on in church! π
ITBand, I turn mine all the way off.
Phones ringing during a meeting annoy me.
But that’s quite different from saying a cell phone has more power than the Holy Spirit has.
The Don: And on the 8th day God created Flomax.
Big Gary: “But thatβs quite different from saying a cell phone has more power than the Holy Spirit has.”
I suppose I have a very different take on that. Jesus said, “No one comes to me unless the Father who sent me draws him.” And lots of other similar stuff. Bottom line, if you’re sitting in some church somewhere on some Sunday morning the Holy Spirit is clearly drawing you there. You are not there because you don’t have anything else to do. You are there because you are being ever so gently nudged. Such people don’t need to be harangued to get them to follow Jesus. They already are following Jesus. Otherwise, they’d be on the golf course.
Flowmax?? Is that like putting a cork in it?
Like to have shot my eye out when I tried that…
Hysterical. π
Women: Move along please. Nothing to see here.
Actually the opposite. (Or so the docs tell me). Relaxes the prostate. Go more when you go so you don’t have to go as often.
Peace,
“B) You canβt hold it for 45 min? Really? Well fine then, but next week letβs try to take care of that beforehand. Mβkay?”
LOL. What kind of IFB church have you been going to where the services are only 45 minutes?? Anything less than 2 hours is indicative of a dead church, amen?
So true!
Left it Behind:
“LOL. What kind of IFB church have you been going to where the services are only 45 minutes?? Anything less than 2 hours is indicative of a dead church, amen?”
Sorry, just visiting . Grew up SBC. Been Catholic now for over a decade. 2 hours and Father would be there by himself! π
The issue is that the speaker is trying to manipulate people into coming forward, and distractions may stop his hypnotic lure.
The Holy Spirit is NOT that week, and when He convicts a soul, a minor distraction will not stop them from finding out what they need to know.
Do you, βTeach your child that there is nothing more important in the world than a church service?β
Uh, no, I don’t really want to be father to a self-righteous idolator.
Also, I can’t help noticing that “a church service” is not mentioned even once in the Gospels.
Bull Gipp seems to believe that God lives in church and never leaves the building.
I don’t know what religion that is, but it isn’t Christianity.
I noticed that too. But it goes back to the church building being “God’s house” in the IFB theology. (With the emphasis on the building being part of the American materialism that informs most conservative evangelical theology of every stripe.) Last I checked, the NT teaches that every believer is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
This is from the NT.
1 Timothy 3:14-15
I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these things to you so that, if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth.
So yes, your body is a temple, but the church is also the house of God.
The context of that chapter of Timothy is a discourse about the church as a community of people, not a building, a location, or a ceremony at a particular time and place.
Jay, I’m surprised you would write that. Church always refers to people in the NT – a gathering of people; not a building.
I’m reminded of singing this in children’s Sunday School:
The church is not a building,
the church is not a steeple,
the church is not a resting place,
the church is a people.
http://www.hymnary.org/hymn/UMH/558
Bull Gipp quote from this article: “The Pastor is more important than you are”…
Reminds me of this chorus-
‘Warning signs are flashing everywhere, but you pay no heed.
‘Stead of slowing down the pace, you keep a-picking up speed-
Disaster’s getting closer every time we meet-
Going ninety miles an hour down a dead-end street’
– Bob Dylan (based on Hank Snow’s original)
For whoever has ears to hear…
Contrast this with the Orthodox church, which actually encourages people to get up and move around during parts of the service, especially at the beginning. Times during the service when such movement is not deemed inappropriate are times when it is considered irreverent to God, not to the priest.
That bit about how women always wear dresses to the Academy Awards is intriguing, good point there. π
I’m still Fundy/old-fashioned enough to think a woman does look better in a dress. On the other hand, there are some men who look infinitely better in a kilt. π π³
So the Academy Awards program is to be the cultural standard Christians should follow?
All right, then.
Of course, we all know that you will NEVER see “a plunging neckline” or a slit skirt at the Oscars.
For a Worldly Ceremony (and thus Forever Off Limits to Real True Xtians), the women there do look pretty good, even if they forget the Two-Fingers Rule. π
I think women look best naked. But I might be a little biased π
π
I’m still trying to figure out how he would know what worldly people are wearing to a party to celebrate Hellywood.
“Call your pastor, “Pastor” – He’s not “Bob” or “Pastor Bill.” I don’t care what that devil Rick Warren told you, he is called of God to do what he’s doing. Even your doctor isn’t called of God.”
Where in the Bible are we told to distinguish “clergy” from “laymen?” Why don’t we just call these pastors, “Mr. President,” or, “Chief” as in CEO? At least we would be honest by not scripturizing titles and positions.
It’s a matter of respect for the position; I call my doctor “Doctor” – the pastor is “Pastor X”. When my friend became director of our choir, I trained myself to say “Mr X” or “Bro X” and not “Bill” when I’m in choir – outside of that, we are still Bill and GR to each other.
OMG. I can’t even imagine the level of poor theology that doesn’t understand calling to be accomplishing occupationally what God has vocationally called you to through designing you.
Anyone that tells you a doctor or a plumber isn’t “called” the same way as a Pastor/church staff person is called, is lying.
We call our minister “Don” (his first name), and he’s not the least bit offended by it.
Lots of pastors prefer to be called by their actual names.
As far as I can tell, Paul, Peter, Silas, and the rest were also simply called by their names, not “the Most Reverend Doctor Peter,” or whatever.
The Don has raised a good point:
“Men: wear a dress shirt and tie. Thatβs right, a tie, even if itβs just a clip-on.”
Darrell, could we please have a post on SFL regarding the theological significance of the traditional tie vs. the clip-on tie? π
I tried to read the Gipps artcle but my brain melted…. Oddly enough, my church is doing a series on the 7 churches in Revelation. Yesterday was Sardis. (Revelation 3:1-6)One of the points brought out was that it looked good and had a reputation for being alive and “doing Good theing for God”, but was spiriually DEAD.
Hmmm……
Yes, IFB, you should ask yourselves if you have cared enough for others.
Caring about them means carping on teenage girls about their hair and how they’re trying to dress more like the world (in spite of ankle-length skirts) while not doing a damn thing to get them out of an abusive home situation. Priorities, man!
Ah, what would Jesus ever do without me?
I can’t make out most of the lyrics (except for the syntactically-incorrect “I wonder have I done my best for Jesus”), but it’s just as well.
When I try to do my best for Jesus I just end up feeling self-righteous. *face palm* π
Nice tune.
Lousy theology.
Have I done my best for Jesus?
No (“best” implies my best all of the time, and even after He saved me, I am still flawed).
How come the choir is not in neat rows? I thought everything was supposed to be done decently and in order? This is obviously causing confusion and we all know who the author of that is, amen?
Preach it, brother! Oh wait, I’m a woman, I can’t say that.
Choirs generally get a pass on the “decently and in order” command. (Especially since the choir director is usually sleeping with one of the choir members. That happened at least twice, and probably three times, during my IFB upbringing.) As long as they make a “joyful noise” HAHA, ROFLOLZ, it’s all good. π
Hay-men!! *waves hankie* park it there, Scorp.
I want to punch a kitten in the throat. Have they not read that even our BEST is nothing but filthy rags?
Hey, be nice to the kittehs. It’s not their fault.
Yeah, don’t blame the cats!
When did a little innocent kitten ever hurt you? π‘
Punch a kitty in the throat? It’s not the kitty’s fault the IFB is a mess! Most IFB preachers hate cats! Just another good reason to have cats! π
Those kittens have it coming! Go get them! π
Oooo, may you never have a convenient parking spot again in your life, or the next one, or the NEXT one. π‘ πΏ
I’m not sure if the “next one” refers to the next parking spot down from the most convenient parking spot, or the next life, but either way, that seems fair! π
You tell him, Panda!
If you punch a kitten, it will break the Internet.
You have been warned.
I rescind my permission to punch freely. I can’t risk it.
More like have I done my best for my Mog. Remember, work for the night is coming!
Fundy Logic:
(1) The MOG is God’s man.
(2) Jesus was both God and man.
(3) Jesus was God’s man.
(4) The MOG = Jesus.
(5) Doing your best for Jesus = Doing your best for the MOG.
(NB: I bet more than one of you has a page of “sermon notes” that more or less outlines this argument.)
(One also notes the corollary conclusion to this syllogism: “Because Jesus was a man of God and Jesus was both man and God, then Jesus was His own man.” Thus, the MOG is also his own man and should be properly accountable to no one.)
I think that raising kids with impossible demands for how to please God creates neurosis. And those who make the impossible demands are manipulators, and, at times, sociopathic.
Wow. You just described my father, my childhood, and the results.
Ever notice how fundy church choirs tend to consist of relatively young people (i.e., not a lot of gray hair)? My own non-fundy church choir is slightly larger than this one, and has an abundance of gray hair and bald heads. I tend to think that this is because of the fundies’ emphasis on “work, work, work”, wearing down the saints to the point that few survive long enough to still have enough energy to serve in church in their golden years.
Will I be carried through the sky on flowery beds of ease, while others fought to win the prize and sailed through bloody seas?
Sounds like a good gig if you can get it. π
π
I love pirates.
You will if you just don’t forget to let your voice climb steadily up till it reaches a certain point, then let it bear down with strong emphasis upon the topmost word, to plunge down on the last two syllables as if from a spring-board. π
I take it you’ve also read “Tom Sawyer”?
I’ll finish the verse for ya:
Yes! I’d be carried blissfully
on petal’d beds sublime,
If that’s what God has planned for me
in His own blessed time.
O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?
~ Paul to the Galatians
Question……why do “song leaders” flail their arms up and down and side to side while “leading” singing in these churches? Would the whole congregation fall out of rhythm and the song come to a screeching halt without it?
I believe this will answer you question.
http://www.stufffundieslike.com/2011/03/songleading-styles/
If that doesn’t work I made a copy and put a new sound track to it here:
Darrell’s “Song Leading Styles” begins at 1:26
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu6rkyYqBlM
What was happening at the first minute of the video? If that was an IFB service and not some sort of skit, they have serious issues.
No, this is how some IFB churches show that the “spirit” is moving. If you pay close attention to the guy on the left side of the dais he is the trigger man, when he takes off it’s on like Donkey Kong. Complete with a do-it-yourself baptism.
I’m sorry but that wasn’t from God…the self baptizing, the throwing of the jacket on the pastor/song leader, the near injuring climbing over people in the pews….they’re filled with something and its not the Holy Spirit.
I know that… and you know that… but I can guarantee you that Monday morning they woke up and told everyone how god moved in that service. π
All that and they don’t drink…
HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!
That was funny!
The teen song-leading makes me sad. If that had been me, as soon as church was over, my parents would have taken me aside for a lecture on how I did it all wrong, and with the wrong attitude, and if the church could see my heart like God they would never have let me up there, and how no one could follow along to my song leading because it was so bad, and that’s why the singing sounded so bad, and how the other teens that got up there did better than me because they had humility and enthusiasm and a good attitude and submitted to their parents, and blah blah blah blah.
While I never did song leading, I did play the piano, and was frequently berated in this manner after a service in which I played.
I’m sorry that you weren’t encouraged but rather belittled. The constant striving for perfection often causes fundies to forget to be grateful for their present blessings, like a son who played piano.
Don – do you have a link to the actual service (so i can hear the audio) and what church is this?
Here is the original SLF posting with the original audio, and YouTube link.
well dang george, you could have pasted the link! I give you one simple thing to do…
http://www.stufffundieslike.com/2010/05/running-the-aisles/
The reality is that in most fundy churches, the pianist, not the “song leader,” actually leads the singing. This is because a pianist must, by definition, have actual musical ability. (Okay, sometimes it’s not much.) But the “song leader” is in a position of leadership and thus it matters much more whether he is a good church member rather than whether he has any musical ability whatsoever.
Our church fired their excellent song leader because the pastor’s wife claimed that she smelled alcohol on his breath one Sunday morning. (Don’t know how she was close enough to tell.) He was replaced by a former football player who worked as an electrician and admitted to abusing his wife. He had no musical ability, but Mr. Football was cute, cute, cute, at least according to the choir ladies, including my mother, who flirted with him and frequently expressed how much they enjoyed ogling his bottom while he had his back turned to the choir for congregational song leading. He called my mother “lunch lady” for a reason I have never been able to determine. She ate it up with a spoon.
Preacher liked song leader #2 because he was super young and a complete screw-up at life, so he was no threat to the preacher’s dominion over the church. I forgot to mention that fired song-leader #1’s dad was a retired preacher who kinda sorta was the de facto head of the dissidents in the church who didn’t care for the preacher. I.e., he WAS a threat to the preacher. (NB: Mr. Retired Preacher was the genius who once told us that Iran was named after Haran in the Bible.)
Anyway, they kept #2 around for quite a while until his wife left him and he quit going to church.
I should add that the official line was not that his wife left him because she was fed up with his temper and abuse, but rather that she left him because she was raised Church of Christ and was therefore “not saved.”
Deacon’s Son that is just sad. In our former church the choir followed the piano. The choir director was musically inclined and actually sang in a local choir that did shows, but his wife the pianist really ran the show, she was a very talented musician. When in came to musicality and dynamics she would instruct the choir from the piano on how to do things correctly. She would set the tempos for the songs and the choir followed the piano better than they followed the director.
Interesting . . . it’s usually Churches of Christ claiming that a person is not saved because they are not part of a Church of Christ!
I was fired because my wife was seen in public with britches on. Best thing that ever happened to me! π
I spent 41 years as a church pianist (multiple churches over the years) – many of them along with a “song leader” who had no musical ability. But, heaven help you if you failed to follow the leader …
(Not currently playing the piano anywhere, but yes, at least sometimes I do miss playing).
Its about control/being in charge. I was one of the few song leaders who actually had a musical background, I had classes in directing, theory, etc. There are two types of IFB song leaders:
1) They know what their doing and are using their hands in a knock out drag out fight with the piano player over the tempo.
2) They have no clue, and are flailing their hands following the piano player to make it look like a man is in charge.
In both cases the song leader should have the Mog in his peripheral vision to ensure that the song service is going according to the will of the Mog.
I see those women and I see oppression. I see a group of people so overexposed and absolutely in each other’s business all the time that the only thing keeping them alive is the gossip about what unholy thing this out-of-favor-with-the-right-group person is doing vs. this person. What she was wearing and what type of hair she has etc. Just seeing them transported me back to the bad old days.
As Penny says in Hairspray, “So you’ve met my mom!”
HeyMan! Another Fundy favorite!
What.”church.” is. this? (first clip). They need to build a fitness center with a pool. Is this their definition of I Cor. 14:40? “Let everything be done decently and in order.”
Actually, most of those people are doing just fine. None of them are even approaching obese.
Thought the rather rotund lady at the 27 second mark was making her move…MOG sent her back to her seat…
Girl in the front row forgot her black binder. She will no doubt be expected to present herself to the preacher’s office after church for counseling and a spanking.
The quality of the song is inversely proportional to the number of key changes.
Got to be a GOH of fundyland, since the meter is perfect for ballroom dancing.
Dear SFL Reader:
No, you haven’t done your best. Guilt is a great manipulator. Ask any ex-catholic how it worked for them.
Christian Socialist
That lady in the front wearing the checkered dress is in love with this song…kinda funny to watch her sing especially after the key change