Books, king james version

Reader Submitted Photo: Answers To Tough Questions

161 Comments

Today’s photo is of a book by Sam Gipp, entitled The Answer Book.

Given that title one would imagine a work of Fundies Guide To The Galaxy proportions, but a quick look at the back cover reveals that the only answers Gipp is providing are to a strangely eclectic group of questions about the King James Version.

Looking at the bright side, at least Sam has decided to tackle some questions that are worthy of him and leave the discussion of the actual text to others.

161 thoughts on “Reader Submitted Photo: Answers To Tough Questions”

  4. Is “Easter” a mistranslation in our English Bible? Who cares? We know what it means.

    What should we do about the archaic words? Use an updated translation instead!

    Was King James a homosexual? Probably, but why are you so interested in his sex life?

    Was Erasmus a “good” Roman Catholic? Yes.

    Are King James Bible Believers a “cult?” Definitely yes!

    3. And now I don’t have to read the very thin book of Answers. Inquiring minds no longer need to know.

  6. Yes, it was most likely self published and poor trees had to die for it. Better the trees were sacrificed for this than a NIV or NAS Bible! Hay-men!

  7. Fundies are awful proud of their degree mill qualifications – in this case, putting Dr. before his name AND Th.D after it. Overcompensating, perhaps? Most scholars (Stephen Hawking, Daniel Wallace, Bart Ehrman, etc etc) don’t flaunt their degrees like that at all, and they’ve earned them from real schools!

    1. Having grown up in academic circles, I know many people with real, earned PhD.s, and none that I can think of call themselves “Doctor” or insist on other people calling them that.

      1. Yep. Grandpa has degrees from Harvard and Yale (PhD) – you’d never know it. One of the most humble dudes. Oh, and really, really smart.

    2. “Fake scholars” never used to bother me until I spent 4 years staying up late, struggling to make rent, and losing hair (but gaining weight) to get my Master of Divinity. By the way its a full 96-unit MDiv, not one of those 68-76 unit ones I’m seeing schools advertise now!

      1. Mike,
        Could not agree more!! I was an active member of our local Baptist ministerial association at a previous command, and there was a pastor there who would always remind us of his “Dr” status. I looked up where his MDiv and Doctor of Theology had come from and it was some diploma mill Bible College. I lost any respect I ever had for him after that.

        I also agree with the 96 hour M-Div. At Southeastern, they increased the M-Div from somewhere in the 75-80 range to 96 shortly before I started Seminary, but I don’t regret the extra work.

        1. You are at Southeastern? That is good, but I’m speaking as a Southern Baptist. I would like to go to one of the six seminaries after I graduate from college (December 2013/May 2014). I know that the closest one from home is in Louisville, and that is about 2 hours away.

        2. I graduated from Southeastern Seminary in 2004 before becoming a Navy Chaplain (Southern Baptist endorsed). I would highly recommend it, but I love Southern as well. I could travel to Southeastern without moving to a different state.

        3. Ok, thanks for the reply. By the way, to the people on here that aren’t Southern Baptist, when I say one of the six, I’m referring to one of the seminaries affiliated with the Southern Baptist Covention (Southern, Southeastern, Southwestern, Midwestern, New Orleans, and Golden Gate). However, I still have a little while to go (I thought I would be graduating next year, then push back a year, then I transferred, so push back another semester on that).

    3. Our former SBC pastor’s stationery stated “Rev. Dr. First Middle Last.” PUKE PUKE PUKE He is the biggest hick ever. Always wore wrinkled clothes, and safety pinned the cuffs of his pants where they wore through b/c they dragged on the ground at the back!

    4. When I went to a Methodist church, the pastor there earned his doctorate. He got in the pulpit and said “Now everyone repeat after me: “Good morning, Dr. Bickerton!”” Once everyone had, he said “Good, now everyone’s got it out of their system. My name is Tom.”

    5. Add David Platt to the list of people who don’t need to flaunt their degrees (or at least, I’ve never heard him call himself “Dr.”). He has a Ph.D. from NOBTS (New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary) in 2004, which has been accredited since 1965 by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools. I don’t have that many books of other living Southern Baptists (and I want to point out Baptists with real Doctorate degrees, but don’t flaunt them), so if anyone wants to add to the list, that would be great.

      1. It’s not just a characteristic of fundies, actually. Most ministers who attain a doctorate — whether earned or honorary — love to tout themselves as “Doctor.” I’ve known only one man who didn’t. He wore his doctoral robe, which was a gift from his church, but never insisted on using the title. I admired him for that. He later wound up, ironically, as president of a major seminary — and never did attain an earned doctorate.

    1. Yes it is! Does LK hate “helpbook” as much as she hates “helpmeat”? 🙂

      1. Is “helpmeat” a Freudian slip for a fundy? Isn’t it “helpmeet” from another misunderstanding of King James English?

        1. As far as I know Reader Mo has always done that typo intentionally, and it drives his wife insane, but is hilarious anyway.

  9. Thank goodness!! I’ve been lying awake at night, wringing my hands, wondering if King James could possibly have been a homosexual! Now I can finally have my answer!! Thanks, Sam Gipp! That’s JUST the kind of answers a “Helpbook” for Christians needs! Good thing you didn’t waste time talking about nonsense like loving your neighbor or anything…
    🙄 😀

    1. Yes, Lamb! They spend all their time quibbling over Bible versions instead of giving of themselves in loving service of others, especially the unsaved.

  10. Classic cultic gibberish. “Was King James a homosexual?”

    ROFL! Who cares? Apparently their religion would be in vain if he were one.

  11. “Was King James a homosexual?”

    Given that this is now being discussed in an internet forum, I believe it is time that we invoke the most tested, tried and true internet methods of the discernment of truth… Pics or it didn’t happen! :mrgreen:

    1. Even worst, King James was an Episcopal. He probably drank real wine, read secular books, went to the theater and played card games!

      1. one way or another everyone pays for it… oh, you said “bi-” … never mind…

    5. Only one way to put that question to bed: Exhume his remains and conduct a DNA test.

  15. FACT:
    Shoes has read this book earnestly at one time in his life

    hope no stones are thrown

    2. Shoes: This is in honor of you :).

      Today’s date is 525. If we add 2011 that gives us 2536. Dividing that by 6 gives us 507.20 . When you subtract 666 that leaves you with (-158.80) .

      Help!!! What does this mean???

      That Sam Gipp is a negative?? I’ve failed. This numerology stuff is too hard. 😉
      Set the record straight please!!

      1. I started looking around, and a few clues belie Sam Gipp’s true character.

        He is the pastor of Bible Believers Baptist Church, which is located on 660 Constitution Avenue. His full first name consists of six letters. Add the number of his address and the number of letters in his first name, and what do we have?

        666.

  16. I am in suspense here. When are the answers to these questions going to be posted? It is not very kind to raise these thought-provoking conundrums without providing the answers. 😉 😉 😉
    My curiosity has been piqued further by knowing that there are over 60 questions answered in this book! I would venture that every subject a person could think of is covered in the book-from the KJV to mixed bathing. 🙄

      1. Oh, this is rich:

        “QUESTION #55:
        “Shouldn’t we emphasize love for Jesus Christ rather than squabbling over Bible translations?

        “ANSWER:
        “There is no better way to emphasize our love for Jesus Christ than to jealously and zealously guard His word.”

        Jesus doesn’t care if we love our neighbors as long as we use the correct Bible translation. 🙄
        That’s not my snide comment, that’s what Gipp says in the rest of that section. Read it if you will. That’s as much of it as I can stand to quote.

        1. Hmmmm. Not in my Bible – even my KJV Scofield. In my Bible, the sheep are the ones who cared for the needy; the goats are the ones who didn’t.

      2. “QUESTION #23:
        “Is it ‘heresy’ to believe, that the King James Bible is perfect?

        “ANSWER:
        “No.”

        Uh … What? 😯

        2. Is Gipp the genius who writes those essays declaring “your pastor is more important than you”? Or am I thinking of someone else?

      3. I just read his passover explanation and speaking as a Jew (and therefore someone who actually celebrates the holiday rather than observing it from afar), we call the whole thing Passover and never once have I heard anyone refer to, “the days of unleavened bread,” as something distinct from Pesach.

        Then again, explaining to Jews what our religion really means (hint: it’s all about us helping the Rapture happen, regardless of what we want) is another thing fundies seem to like…

        2. Isn’t the “days of unleavened bread” the exact same thing as Passover? And isn’t Pesach the same thing as Passover? Correct me if I am wrong.

        3. Pesach and Passover are the same thing; I use them interchangeably depending on the degree of ethnicity I’m feeling in the moment. Sometimes I just slip into Hebrew y’know…

          Ok rarely, and pretty much only in calling Passover Pesach. 🙂

          But yeah, if you’re in a synagogue and reference, “days of unleavened bread,” people would just think you’re coming up with a more clever way of saying, “Passover,” not that you’re referring to days 2-8 (but not 1) of the holiday.

        4. I am not Jewish but I have read a lot about the Jewish faith. I spent several years reading in depth. It really illuminated many parts of Scripture for me. In my experience, when Baptist preachers refer to Judaism they generally fall into three categories: 1. Wrong. 2. Very wrong. 3. Just plain making stuff up.

  18. If a person feels the need to defend the translation ‘Easter’ instead of Passover’ for the word that is translated ‘Passover’ in every other place in which it appears, that person is a King James Onlyist by definition. Why? Because the defence means that you are arguing for a distinction in English that does not exist in the Greek!

    1. W.E. – One of my hobbies since retiring in 2009 is studying all about bible translations. I am amazed by Gipp’s strenous twists and turns to try and make Easter “work.” There is a video of him speaking to a congregation, and if memory serves, he goes on for more than an hour trying to make Easter fit.

      “Arguing for a distinction in English that does not exist in the Greek'” You are precisely correct, and I plan on using that. 😀

    3. I’d never heard the Easter/Passover “controversy”, have heard KJVO idiots arguing for the importance of “Lucifer” which doesn’t exist, and wasn’t an English Word till they transliterated it for the KJV.

  19. “Looking at the bright side, at least Sam has decided to tackle some questions that are worthy of him and leave the discussion of the actual text to others.”

    Lol. I know I’ve said this here before, but the whole fundy thing about the KJV and the TR is make-believe. When I see stuff like this it conjures images of Chris Farley trying to convince the world that Lady Elaine Fairchild is the Dutchess of York. //random//

    1. John, you made me laugh out loud. Lady Elaine Fairchild… who else remembers her?

  20. How is it, anyway, that so many marginally literate people end up writing theology books?

    2. didn’t you know that the king james is written at a 6-year-old reading level? do you not realize that anything above “marginally literate” is an abomination?

      man, you need to get SAVED!

      1. A dearly loved relative just told me that it’s foolish to translate the Bible into more understandable English, because if you’re saved, God’s Spirit will illumine the Word, and if you’re not saved, why bother making it easy to understand since they’ll never truly understand it without the Spirit?

        1. They shouldn’t have it in English if that’s how it works. Just use the Latin Vulgate or the greek (preferably not the poorer/less accurate “Textus Receptus”)

  21. The Fundy Guide to the Galaxy would be a hilarious read.

    I don’t remember hearing of Gipp before, but I know he’s not trustworthy because he underlines book titles instead of italicizing them.

  22. I honestly (I do) want to know how this man truly feels like this book will be a “help to the young Christian”
    What of grace?
    What of the heart of God?
    Since when does a young Christian need to be indoctinated with such earth shattering foundational truths such as “Was King James a homosexual?”
    This stuff is how you mess up people for life…and why I am trying to sort through all the garbage 20 years later. 😥

    1. You sound like a hippie to him!

      In the Dark Knight they say “some men just want to watch the world burn”, in IFB’s case it seems they just want to scream at the world how right they think they are.

      God save us from the Baptists. 🙂

  24. You must read the “Deadly Myths You [sic] Been Told.” These DEADLY myths include “Your body is done growing by the time you’re 21” and “Sugar Makes Kids ‘Hyper'”. http://samgipp.com/essays/?page=76.htm

    Whew. Glad I’ve been warned about these deadly myths.

  25. Here’s a glorious example of Gippish wisdom: http://samgipp.com/answerbook/?page=10.htm

    QUESTION #10:
    What does this statement mean? “The King James Bible was good enough for the Apostle Paul, so it’s good enough for me.”

    ANSWER:
    This statement is usually made in a sarcastic manner in order to embarrass Bible believers in their belief. The FACT is, the King James Bible WAS good enough for Paul.

    1. Apparently Gipp doesn’t know his history if he thinks the KJV was good enough for Paul… the KJV wasn’t even around then. Thank you, Gipp, for exposing your arrogance and ignorance!

    2. Beautiful find! I’m assuming Paul wasn’t born until 1650 or so, to give the KJV enough time to have been copied and made it’s way down to Jerusalem for him to have enjoyed…. 🙂

      1. Since St. Paul was born after 1611, he must have had a time machine to travel back to the first century.

        H.G. Wells had a time machine.

        H.G. Wells was St. Paul.

    3. On the same page, he says the KJV was good enough for Luke. I guess it’s fair to say that Paul and Luke could perform miracles, but it takes a lot of imagination to say that they read a translation that wasn’t written yet in a language that wouldn’t exist (in its Jacobean form) for another 1500 years.

      1. The sheer temerity to acknowledge that people are mocking your love of the KJV, and immediately double down with an argument so blatantly stupid is dumb founding. I can’t fathom this guy.

  26. I think they sell this book at my fundy church’s bookstore… They sell all kinds of KJVO crap there. 😡

  27. ummm, more BULL GIPP. A whole book of BULL GIPP, by BULL GIPP. That’s a lotta BULL GIPP.

    1. We’re gonna need a whole bull ship to ship off all the Bull Gipp in this ship to some far away outpost so we won’t have to see it every again.

    2. Did his name actually originate the term Bull Gipp? If so, it is incredibly appropriate.

  28. I really hate the typical fundy vernacular: seasoned soldier (as seen on the back of the book), dreary (you know, from all ‘dem fundy hymn-uhs Praise Gawd!), sheaves, … anybody got anymore?

  29. I loved Gipp’s answer to whether or not the KJV translators were “baby sprinklers” or not:

    “The company of men who did the translating of the Authorized Version was made up of Bible believing men from both the Anglican and Puritan churches. Their character and qualifications have been attested earlier.

    Such a statement as, “The King James translators were nothing but a bunch of Episcopalian baby sprinklers,” is one of those statements which is sadly not based on fact nor conviction. It is made with the hope of character assassination and an ultimate hope of overthrowing the authority of the King James Bible in the minds of believers.

    It might be beneficial at this point to note what the King James translators were NOT.

    They were not adulterers, as David. Nor were they murderers as Moses and David. Nor had any of them sacrificed any of their children to Chemosh or Molech as Solomon had in I Kings 11. Nor had they vehemently denied the Lord as Peter.

    These short comings are not pointed out to bring disrespect on any of the writers of scripture. But are noted so that we should be a little more gracious in our description of the men whom God has chosen to use.”

    The explanation avoids the question. This last paragraph about being a “little more gracious” is sheer hypocrisy! Oh, like the KJV nuts are so gracious to the translators of the NIV! Give me a break! 🙄

    1. Argh!!! I avoided reading his material; all I read was your excerpt and I’m SO ANNOYED!!!

      These kind of comments are so mind-numbingly unreasonable that I don’t even know how to answer them coherantly.

    2. …and they didn’t hang around with tax collectors, scandalous women, and foreigners either. The translators of the KJV were bettermen than Jesus Christ himself! 🙄

    3. Whoooo boy…

      “Be a little more gracious???” Yeah, then at the end of his own book he claims that a great way to show Christ’s love and grace is to rip on those who don’t use the KJV. What a freaking hypocrite…

      Now, I will say, I am a Baptist, and I do use the KJV, but I run fast from him and men like him….very very fast…..

  30. QUESTION #43:
    Isn’t the devil behind all the confusion and fighting over Bible versions?

    ANSWER:
    Undoubtedly.
    ———–

    Oh, the irony–it’s too rich.

  31. Wish a question about whether the Puritans were wrong in not immediately switching from the Geneva Bible to the KJV was included.

    Also, while the jury’s still out (as far as I know) with King James’ sexuality, has any KJVO proponent dealt with the issue of his opposition to the Puritans’ effort to purify the Church of England from Catholic influence (which led, after a stop in Holland, to their arrival at Plymouth Rock)?

  32. I’ve mentioned this before but my book of British Kings and Queens which we bought at Buckingham Palace states that he was a homosexual. So I guess he was a King and a queen.

  33. If Gipp is any good with the internet he will notice the extra traffic on his site and investigate where it is coming from. That will lead him to SFL. And then his head will explode.

  34. Head……hurts…… He appears to think that Passover is/was celebrated in the Roman(Julian)/Gregorian calendar on April 14th every year. And apparently Herod was an Astarte worshipper, since all pagans….urgh….*twitch*
    Who linked the book? WHO LINKED THE BOOK? 😯

  35. QUESTION #61:
    What if there really ARE mistakes in the King James Bible?

    ANSWER:
    Then it’s up to YOU to find the Book that God was talking about in Psalm 12:6,7 and Jesus was talking about in Matthew 24:35.

    And of those that take his challenge:

    “The FACT is, that, like their hippie counterparts of the late 1960’s they find themselves standing on a pile of smoldering ruins, without any ability whatsoever to rebuild even an outhouse, let alone render a perfect Bible. ”

    Groovier than thou

  36. QUESTION #7:
    If there is a perfect Bible in English, doesn’t there also have to be a perfect Bible in French, and German, and Japanese, etc?

    QUESTION No.
    God has always given His word to one people in one language to do one job; convert the world. The supposition that there must be a perfect translation in every language is erroneous and inconsistent with God’s proven practice.

    “Thus in choosing English in which to combine His two Testaments, God chose the only language which the world would know.”

    The racism and arrogance is enough to make me puke.

    1. Must. Stop. Reading. Anything. Gipps. Writes. I’m getting madder by the moment.

      1. HA HA! You thought you were aware of how bad the fundies were, but you weren’t prepared for the full Bull Gipp!

    2. “The English language had been developing for many centuries until the late sixteenth century. About that time it finally reached a state of excellence that no language on earth has ever attained. It would seem that God did the rest. He chose this perfect language for the consummation of his perfect Book.”

      As a linguist, I’m speechless.

  37. Read his “newsletter” section. The man is a conspiracy nut, and an absolute moron.

      1. Because I hate myself, I started reading the first one. Then I got to this:
        “When Christianity entered Europe centuries ago it displaced tribalism with nationalism and developed what is known today as “European Society,” which left feudalism behind and spawned modern civilization. Suddenly, Satan, who had been worshipped through paganism was dethroned and replaced by the God of creation. It was devastating to his plan of world rule. But, Europe could go no further when it ran into residual paganism so God crossed the Atlantic and, as he had developed the nation of Israel within Egypt, developed an entirely new nation in the wilderness of America. Because of these two protected developments Israel and the United States are the only two nations in the world that have no pagan history.”

        There are so many things wrong with this paragraph. Starting with the “Suddenly” that was really (at least where feudalism was concerned) more like 1700 years or so, and ending the complete and utter ignoring of historical fact. I’m not sure I can read through the rest…but I probably will because I hate myself. hahaha

  38. From Gipp’s essay on how to behave at church:

    “Men: wear a dress shirt and tie. That’s right, a tie, even if it’s just a clip-on. God is more important than you! Dress up for Him…because you are going to the place that God may meet with you and you should humble yourself and dress so you won’t be embarrassed if He shows up.”

    I do believe God is more important than me. That’s why I want to do what the Bible says, not Gipp.

    Check out this quote by A.B. Bruce re: “commandments of men”:

    “To treat trifles as serious matters, as matters of conscience, which you do, is degrading and demoralizing. No man can do that without being or becoming a moral imbecil, or a hypocrite: either one who is incapable of discerning between what is vital and what is not in morals, or one who finds his interest in getting trifles to be accepted as the important matters, and the truly great things of the law – justice, mercy, and faith – quietly pushed aside as if they were of no moment whatever.” [The Training of the Twelve, p.83]

    2. I’m all for dressing up nicer for church that I do on other days (my new church is pretty casual, so there are Sundays when I show up in whatever if I don’t feel like dressing up)… but Gipp makes it sound like you have to do it or God will strike you down with a lightning bolt.

      1. Also he says, “you are going to the place that God may meet with you.” God is already with me. When I lie down and when I rise, He is with me. Always. No matter what I’m wearing.

        1. That reminds me of an old preacher I heard talking about “God showing up” at a service. He said, “I know He’s gonna show up…I brought Him with me!”

        2. Yes! The fundie attitude is that of a religious junkie. Always looking for the next experience, the next emotional warm holy-fuzzy. Their fix to get them to the next service. Looing for the movement of God so that thy know they are in his will. Step on their toes, stomp on their toes, just so they can feel something! Anything!

          Then there is the ultimate high… The Revival. Oh, how God moved! And when they come down off their emotional high then they look for why God stopped moving, why they no longer feel it. It must be something they did, or didn’t do, or there’s sin in the camp! Then they cry and wail pleading God to move again. Dance you little god, dance for us. Perform another mirace, give us an experience!

          And the pulpit master feeds on their need for the experience. So the cult marches on, and the religious junkies get their fix and feel so smug in their churchianity.

          **yeah, having a full on Fundie flashback tonight***

    3. Gipp has the full anathemas of the Galatian heresy (read the book of Galatians to see what Paul was fighting against) under himself for that comment until he stops this.

  40. Unbelievable! I think I lost 100 IQ points just by looking at his website.

    1. Billy Graham is in charge of the Illuminati? 😯 Or is he a Gnome of Zurich?
      Or the Pope?
      Or the President of Word Records?

      Is he also a Muslim and a Communist?

  43. Well this Halloween loving, tattooed, ear pierced man needs to go get a pepsi before I can read any more of this guys crap. A good drunk would make it amusing.

    One Sunday, I got to preach after our Jr. High Mission Trip and I did it in shorts and t-shirt (I dressed up like the kids).

    The article that Obama really irriated me. What a racist bigot. I also hope that he gets a bad case of diarrhea while he is preaching, and can’t leave.

  45. Every time I wonder if I’m being a backslidden rebel that needs to git raght with GAWD hay-men I hear Sam Gipp and his like, and grow all the more convinced emigrating from fundy land was a good move. I’ve known many a good fundamentalist that has helped me in some spiritual way or another, but… the movement isn’t for me, least of all the extreme aspects of it that Gipp too often exemplifies. The hyper-aggressive culture wars and patriotism that verge on bigotry and racism, the legalism (culottes, fellow ex-IFB ladies? :???:), and the incessant emphasis on personal fervor is horribly deadening.

    Give me Christ and him crucified. If Gipp could focus on that instead of his personal anecdotes and marketing for his dissertations and bumper stickers (both from the pulpit, last time he was at my church >_<), then he would be a preacher. Otherwise he's merely another panderer for the dark side of fundamentalism.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be reading from Martin Luther, Thomas Merton, C.S. Lewis, and Michael Spencer–heretic that I am.

    1. I still sometimes feel guilty because nearly everyone I know are still in IFB churches, so what’s wrong with ME that I wanted to leave. But, yeah, stuff like this kind of book makes me so, so glad I’m not part of it. I too want only Christ, and I want His love to characterize my life.

  46. Question: Aren’t King James Bible believers a cult?

    Answer “No”

    Oh the irony.

  47. …because of all the theological questions young Christians might be struggling with, clearly these are the most important.

    I actually had never heard of the possibility that King James was a homosexual before, but now that I do… so? He didn’t have anything to do with the actual translation of the Bible, aside from possible political influence.

  48. Jordan beat me to part of this, but…as if the content weren’t bad enough (and of course, it is), the underlined book titles (each word separately no less!) and using “a help” (instead of just saying, “This book will help…”) instantly decreases the person’s credibility in my mind. ‘Course, maybe that’s just me being the typography and language geek that I am. 😀

  49. Hey – I just met the good Dr Gipp. He showed up to do a series of meetings here in Dorset last week. He had a plastic cup with his name on ‘Dr Gipp’ I have the photo to prove it. I asked his wife where she did his doctorate and she said something with ‘Tenessee’ in the name.
    I’ve met a couple of other academic Drs lately through a course I’ve been doing but they didn’t have plastic cups with ‘Dr’ on. But then they were only Oxford Drs..

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