Eats Kale
Hates fat
Gluten-free
Is that…
Foodamentalist?
Loves shoes
Pedicure
Reflexology
They’re for sure…
Footamentalist?
Foreign made
Black and White
Art house reels
Think they might…
Filmamentalist?
Mental is as mental does
Passions all have cages
Keeping pure is paramount
So goes it through the ages
Nice. Is the last line “it” not “is”?
Yeah, I fixed it about .001 seconds after you caught it. 🙂
I’m sorry, I should edit my comment but I can’t figure out how to do it.
No worries. It was a good catch.
Loves to fish
Bait the hook
Cast the line
Wait for the reel thing…
Filamentalist?
Can’t be trusted
Plastic grinning
Just can’t wait to
Catch you sinning
Fakeamentalist
Flashy car
Diamond ring
Movie star
Kind of bling
Flauntamentalist
Achy bones
Icy hot
Getting old
Smears a lot
Linamentalist
*slow clap*
bravissimo
He’s the Ointment Expert.
http://hearingvoices.com/webwork/isay/knipl.html
Keeping rules
Is for chumps
Your guidelines
Just speed bumps
Floutamentalist
OK, I’m done
KJV Bible
Hooray Revived
Interpret Loosely
Then contrived
Documentalist
Busted. I’m a filmamentalist.
Shaken not stirred
Licensed to kill
Loves girls with intriguing names
Bondamentalist
Sure of something
Just as sure
Of the opposite
Can be nothing
But a pure
Compartmentalist.
Hooray for our side!
Armed in the pulpit.
Obama YOU LIE!
Only we are right,
ALL others are suspect.
Amerinarccistamentalist
Love it!
Reads minds while
Tuning in to the universe’s
Universal harmony.
Yes, she’s a transcendentalist mentalist.
All are old
All are male
Will likely have to broker sale
BJU Presidential Short List
or…
BJUexecumentalist
You forgot: All are white.
Yes, and the selection will be made largely according to who’s the whitest.
Eek! I’m usually at least close to the whitest.
But I’m female. Whew!
Expensive shoes
Smells like sweat
When’s the next race?
Time-obsessed
Run-amentalist
Rats….
Beat me to it. I’m always second in my punning group!
Are you grouped by age or by corniness or what?
Yes.
Twists your words.
Doubles meanings.
Quite absurd
And Facepalming.
Pundamentalist.
Does that mean you’re also a racist? (runs and hides)
Hahaha! Nah I don’t discriminate on races, I’ll run them all.
ITBand – I’ve wondered if you’re a runner, based on your name.
You might never know what the ITB is…until it gets whacked good and bruises. And then – good lord!
Yep. I’m an oft injured runner. My poor iliotibial bands (yes, both of them) have taken a beating.
I train in the cold the sunshine and the rain Injuries abound
Yet the pavement I pound
Something must be off in my brain
Run-a-mentalist.
Lofty thoughts disconnected
Head lost in a cloud
Firm ground rejected
Saying nothing but over loud
Firmamentalist?
Views their college
Like deity,
Bows to their authority,
Treats you like an enemy
If you fail to bow the knee . . .
Alumndamentalist
This.
Shiny teeth
Breath like mint
Wonders where
The yellow went…
…Pepsodentalist
“Fundamentalist” is an anagram of “snail fed mutant”
static single chord vamps
loose and danceable
Clinton, Brown, Isley, and Hancock
Funkamentalist?
(btw in American Jazz, “funky” could be defined as “returning to the fundamentals”)
Too stupid
For this post
Drunk on Rum
Sniffing Toast
Meamentalist
Quotes the Bible,
Reads it all.
Peering round
To heed the Call,
He can spot you
Down the hall.
Testamentalist.
Brushes five times daily.
Flosses hourly.
Bop his head gaily
Or even dourly,
He’ll be a stunned dentalist.
Preaches against Worldly music
Hip hop, country and CCM
Even if you listen to Mozart
You will burn in Hell.
Only fill you ears with hymns
Garloch, Hamilton, Peterson and Bliss
Musicmentalist
Knows the circumstances.
Knows the hearts.
Has them pegged.
Has the answers.
Judgmentalist.
Rejects science.
Private schools.
Uses only “Christian” sources.
Distrusts everybody.
Is certain he is right.
Dumbdamentalist.
Spokes tight, tires aired
Pedaled here, pedals there
Miles and miles
Padded shorts, helmet with attached mirror
Bicyclementalist
No pants she has
Not on approved lists
Gets Bibles signed as
A fandamentalist.
Hey, I’m up late, so I thought I would toss this in here.
THE UNOFFICIAL STUFF FUNDIES LIKE BINGO SHEET (SFLBS)
Here’s how to play. Make a 6×5 grid–using the table function in your word processor, or just on paper–and write the letters SFLBS on the top row. Pick 5 items at random from each of the lists below and put them in the column under their letter.
Seriously Awful Behavior
1. The Shepherd Protects/Abets/Is the Predator
2. Break Your Child, God Said So
3. Give Me Your Money & God Will Make It Rain Cheeseburgers
4. Assorted Purity Culture Creepiness
5. Family Values = Only Certain Families Have Value
6. You Don’t Need a Doctor, Just Get More Religion
7. Assorted Dominionist Bumf
8. Refusing Help for One’s Child = Holy
9. Smash the World, It’s Gonna Burn Anyway
10. Yay Me, I Adopted a Little Brown Heathen
11. Assorted Patriarchal Poison
12. Terrifying Children With Apocalyptic Nonsense
13. It’s Only Moral If We Do It
14. Serving Poor People Pie (In the Sky When They Die)
15. Leader Flat-Out Lies About “The World”
Funny If You’re Not the Target
16. Rantin’ Ravin’ Spittin’ Preacher
17. Newlywed/Neverwed Preaches Perfect Marriage
18. If It’s Popular, It Must Be Evil
19. 4 Years on the Hamster Wheel for a Worthless Degree
20. Homophobic Hollering Through a Closet Door
21. Conspiracy Theories
22. Freakouts About “The Appearance of Evil”
23. How Eye Babies Are Made
24. Occult Cooties
25. I Don’t Have a Clue What It Is, But I’m Agin’ It
26. Old Enough to Go to War, Still Gets Demerits
27. Pastor’s Pet Peeve = Expository Preaching
28. Pastor’s Pet Obsession = Standards
29. Bible-Believing Christian Hasn’t Read Most of It
30. Altar Call, Again and Again
Like Retcons, Don’t They?
31. It’s Only Worldly for 30 Years
32. Ignore My Printed Sermons, I Never Preached That
33. I Never Knew That Guy (Now That He’s Fallen)
34. Ladyhood Was Universal Before Those Nasty Feminists
35. The Trail of Blood
36. Slavery = Evangelism
37. This Was Always a Christian Nation
38. The Founding Fathers Were Just Like Me
39. Eternal Bedrock Beliefs (That Change Every Generation)
40. Everybody Was Happy Antebellum
41. The Cold War Never Ended
42. Calvin Hated Everybody
43. He’s a Great Man (Ignore His Work History)
44. Grape Juice. It Was Grape Juice.
45. Look, There’s the Antichrist! No, Over There! No, There!
Boy, This is Clueless
46. Hep to the Young People of Today
47. We Don’t Do Liturgy (Just the Same Thing Every Week)
48. I Can Micromanage My Adult Children Over Miles and Years
49. Science Is a Competing Religion
50. Atheists Hate God
51. Unfortunate Acronyms
52. The War on Christmas
53. It’s Good ‘Cause There’s a Fish on It
54. Mad Godly Homemaking Skilz (Sophomore Dorm Level)
55. Marvel at This Modesty. Marvel, I Say!
56. Keep ‘Em Ignorant and They Won’t Have Sex
57. Huh-BAAAAWWW We’re So Oppressed (Said the Hegemon)
58. Prince Charming Is Coming Aaaaany Day Now
59. Person of Worldwide Importance (In Our Tiny World)
60. Church Planting in Cities Named After Saints
Seriously?!
61. Bus Ministry for the Win
62. My Neighbor Saved My Stupid Butt Because God Likes Me Best
63. The Magic Sinner’s Prayer Spiel
64. Want to Be a Missionary? Shuck & Jive for $25
65. Vacation = Mission Trip
66. Cutting & Pasting = Plain & Literal Reading
67. Hanging the Whole Gospel on Creation Science
68. Courtship. Just . . . Courtship. And Everything It Involves.
69. Bible in My Textbook/Bible Is My Textbook
70. Don’t Need No Book Larnin’ in This Here Book-Based Religion
71. Passive Aggressive Personalized Sermon
72. We Love Israel (We Need It for Firestarter)
73. The Holy Trinity: Father, Son and KJV
74. Freedom in Christ (To Shun the Unworthy)
75. Not Agreeing with My Entire Platform = Hating Christianity
Whoa! Seriously good game here! Tale a card with you when you attend a fundy service! Yell “Bingo!” or “FUNDY” in the service when you get 5 in a row!
Nicely done!