212 thoughts on “Fightin’ Fundies”

  2. Get your apple outta my face Mr Anderson. These guys are hilarious

  3. Whew!
    This is like watching a fight break out at a flea circus.

    No, it’s more like watching two month-old babies try to gum each other to death.

    A battle of wits between two unarmed foes …

  4. Mr. Anderson: 1 point for brevity

    Mr. Gibb: 1 point for interesting set

    -1 each for calling each other names, which means they cancel each other out.

  5. Steven Anderson – no wedding ring? V neck decorated shirt – closeted gay! Hello!!!! Lisp too.

    1. No. No! NO! We don’t want him! Take him back! Yikes! 😮

  8. That Proper Opossum Massage video is really all kinds of wonderful.
    There’s a lot I’d like to say about it, but I really can’t do better than “lila l,” who commented, “if i fucked up my opossums chi i would never forgive myself, thank you pearl.

    1. I loved the opossum. I remember cornering one on a porch in north Texas and it had some big fangs as it snarled at me.

      When I was in Dallas Police Academy in the 80s I lived on a farm 35 miles south of Dallas. I had chickens and the possums worked their way into my chicken house and slaughtered all of them. I took my .357 and shot 6 possums out of the big tree next to my chicken house that weekend. I forgot to massage them first though. Sorry crazy lady. Damn. She makes better sense than either of the two preachers.

      1. Oh I forgot. One of the possums died by me hitting it repeatidly with a shovel. I was pissed.

        3. “I considered cryogenics – that’s freezing her head- but it just seemed so, well, cold.”

          LOL, this video is funnier than the massage one.

        4. When I was a child my preferred method for dealing with opossums was to grab them by their tails and whack them off the nearest building or tree. I only got bitten twice.

        5. I think possums (or “poor man’s chickens,” as they call them in Alabama) are kind of adorable.
          I do realize they can be pests, though.

        7. BG, that video was inspiring. Thanks for sharing. I don’t see possums in Alaska, buy by golly now I know what to do if I see me some roadkill.

  10. In the grand scheme of things, in my opinion, Anderson is such a lunatic that when put up beside Gipp, then Gipp looks half way rational for about a minute, which is about all I could stomach of his 16 minute video.

    Anderson’s douche bag police stunt sold me on giving him the lunatic award a long time ago. It is going to be hard for Gipp to trump that. He’ll have to summon the powers of Peter Ruckman for a fighting chance.

    1. It’s the great relativity trick of fundydom that they play off each others insanity to try to portray themselves as rational.

    2. Gipp does look relatively rational for about the first minute. Then he starts expounding on his own misunderstandings of just about every chapter of the Bible.

      “‘Cause only a fool lean upon –
      Lean upon his own misunderstanding, oh ho, oh, yeah!”
      — Bob Marley

    3. The fact that Gipp spends 16+ minutes pontificating on his superior doctrinal stances and reminding viewers again and again (and again) that Anderson is 12 years old reveals how much anger and venom is brewing inside him. For a glimpse of the lunacy of Gipp, just watch the last 2 minutes or so, including his final sneer. He’s just as nutso as Anderson, just in a somewhat more mainstream way. Dreadful stuff.

  11. I cant believe im saying this but I actually want to hear a full length sermon on how im supposed to wee!!!

    4. Everytime somebody brings this up, all I can think of is some old episode of the Simpsons, when Rev. Lovejoy said “Oh, everything’s a sin, Marge. Have you ever actually read this thing? Technically, we’re not allowed to go to the bathroom.”

  13. Anybody know who this Wittenberger is that Sam Gipp speaks of?
    I’ve never heard of him.

    1. Paul Wittenberger is a “documentary” filmmaker who works with Steven Anderson and deals in various conspiracy theories. Their latest project is a little ditty called “Marching to Zion” which downplays and sometimes outright questions the Holocaust.

        2. “The Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell” sounds as though it might be interesting.

    2. They would be world famous only in their own churches if they didn’t open their mouths so wide. That’s all.

      1. I’m reminded of the middle school proverb, “Close your mouth; the flies are getting out.”

    3. Sam Gipp is an ‘evangelist’ who takes his hate preaching around on a paid international vacation *cough* I mean preaching circuit.

      Steve Anderson is a kook who calls himself pastor but I think his only congregation are related to him.

  15. I’ve been massaging my opossum the wrong way all these years!

    I’ll have to try it this way tonight.

  16. Oh, boy! Contentious self styled independent Baptists and their dueling Bibles! I got my fill of that a long time ago. What ever happened to pastors focusing on Christ?

  17. Everyone knows what bullies are and what they do. They pick on anyone they don’t like and push them around. They enjoy humiliating them. It may be some insignificant reason that they dislike them. But, because they’re stronger and mean and vicious they just force those they hate to do whatever they tell them to. It gives them a feeling of power, and they are intoxicated by power.
    Stop the Bullying! by Dr. Samuel C. Gipp, Th. D.

    I could care less for either one, but found gipps video more annoying.
    Now back to massaging my opossum…

      1. I think that “Dr.” might be fake.
        Someone should “Doctor” him properly

        1. I don’t think Anderson claims to be a “Dr.” But he *does* claim to be a “Pastor”….

        2. Anderson used to say on his web site (I haven’t looked at it lately) that he did not have a college degree, but he had memorized a lot of Bible verses.

          Well, shucky ducky, so have I. Also a lot of Edward Lear limericks.

        3. I memorized a ton of Bible verses in AWANA. I also can recite large portions of Monty Python’s Holy Grail.

          “Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberries!”

          “Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!”

        4. “Bring out your dead!”

          “Wait, I’m not dead yet!” “Oh don’t be such a baby, you’ll be stone cold in a minute!” “I feel fine!! I feel…..HAPPY!”

    1. Excuse me.

      “Retard,” no.

      “Persons with intellectual disabilities,” yes.

        1. Let me make it clear that comparing Gipp and Anderson to someone with intellectual disabilities is a gross insult to the intellectually disabled

        2. Yes. People with developmental disabilities aren’t necessarily mean and dishonest.

        3. Actually, the developmentally disabled are often some of the most kind and generous people you could ever meet. They aren’t as jaded as the rest of us “intelligent” folk.

      2. “Developmentally disabled” is the latest politically correct moniker.

  19. Both of these clowns need to heed their own advice for each other.

    I’ll give Bull Gipp this though: He took some entertaining cheap shots at a guy that needs cheap shots aimed at him.

    1. I suspect Gippy might actually have a sense of humour, but little else in the way of sense. Andy-boy has no sense whatsoever.

      1. Yes, there was humor in there. Dry, dry humor, but it’s there. Lol. Anderson seems about as humorless as a turnip.

        Actually, compared to him, a turnip is hilarious.

    2. Those shots were too cheap, even for me.
      He keeps calling Anderson “a twelve-year-old,” but Gipp’s insults are on a nine-year-old level.
      Well, not all nine-year-olds. My eight-year-old nephew is a lot more articulate and witty than Gipp.

      1. My daughter is 13. I remember when she was 12. She was a helpful, valuable member of the family that I enjoyed getting to know. She still is.

      2. Cheap shots are disgusting. I prefer to slowly sip high quality booze.

  20. Gipp was invited to speak at my old church. His website is a hate site.

  22. I started giggling at “I wouldn’t mind if Steven Anderson went halfway through the tribulation” and the rest was pretty much lost on me.

    Hehehehehe…can’t stop.

  23. Um… I don’t live in America. Is opossum massaging big there? 😛

    I tried it with my dog, but she was uncooperative and tried to bite me when I tried to sweep out her aura. Damn dogs must like their auras messy! 😛

      1. You know the old saying, “Never try to baptize a kitten”?

        3. I would think that baptizing a cat the Episcopal way wouldn’t be too much for the cat.

          A full-immersion baptism (KJV only) would be quite another matter.

        4. It truly depends on the cat. Mine does not like being handled very much, unless she requests it. Anything unrequested is met by claws and a hiss.

          I blame it on the fact that she was born in dumpster and abandoned at a tender age. I just can’t afford the years of kitty therapy needed…that’s probably why Gipp and Anderson don’t get better since they aren’t receiving their therapy!

        5. My heart aches for anyone caught in their webs. Their poor families, wives, children. They are despicable people.

      3. The best novel written by a not-crazy Christian in the past ten years does, in fact, have a cat baptism. Marilynne Robinson’s GILEAD.

        1. There is actually a well-written Christan novel with a cat that isn’t Amish? I need to get that on the summer reading list!

  24. The world would be a much better place if we all satisfied our possums with well-done massages.

  25. Augustine, Wycliffe, Luther, Knox, Calvin…. Gipp, Anderson… What’s wrong here?

    1. Only the last two named are Real Christians with anything to say. All the rest were Heretics ::eye roll::

    2. That list reminds me of the monologue in Tony Kushner’s Angels in America where a character refers to the current generation as “pygmy offspring of a giant race.”

  26. I found it ironic that both men are guilty of what they accuse the other man of doing. So I guess they recognize the error, silliness, and poor argumentation when someone else does it–just not when they do it.

    1. “Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own; which is the chief reason for that kind reception it meets with in the world, and that so very few are offended with it.”

      –Jonathan Swift

      Today seems to be my day to quote relentlessly.

  27. When will the Possum Day Parade be? Now we know who the clowns are.

  28. Schaap’s trial was actually in federal court (United States v. Schaap).

  29. Oh yeah Steve Anderson knows that there is an Old Testament. Good grief this two are petty and ridiculous and please keep this up. They are they kind of people that just need to be given a shovel to bury themselves. This kind of stuff might be the saving of some people from Fundyism. “If you already know how to go to the bathroom you have no need for Steven Anderson.” I haven’t even gotten to the second video yet.

  31. Rules of fundy fight club:
    ~throw a lot of Scriptures out of context at each other
    ~throw how many people come to your church
    ~call each other “idiot” and “12 year old”
    ~fight like “12 year old boys”
    ~claim you know the Bible better but have no evidence for that
    ~don’t talk about fundy fight club–because you excommunicate the other person from being a real Christian so its not a fundy fight club. Its a fight for the truth.

    1. and I think the warning on the opossum massage video applies to fundy preachers:
      “Remember the majority of opossums (fundy pastors) belong outside. If you come across an injured or orphaned opossum (fundy pastor), call the proper authorities. And if you are still left with an opossum” (fundy pastor)….run–don’t massage them cuz that would be creepy.

      1. But if you do, massage both sides of the Fundy because nobody wants a Fundy with messed up chi

        1. Maybe messed up chi is what’s wrong with those guys.
          I rather suspect misaligned chakras, though.

        3. Gary, I suspect it is messed-up heads and/or misaligned brain-cells (both of them)

        3. Gipp, not Gibbs. All the fundies start sounding alike after a while, lolol

  32. Ok, watched the second one. Take your own advice Steve. “If you don’t want to look like an idiot, don’t say stupid things.”

      2. Darn you!
        Now I’m seeing the “He Who Pisseth Against A Wall” sermon in mime!
        With Steven A. in one of those striped shirts and white face paint and white gloves.

  33. I can see the potential in an Ultimate Fundy Fighting League. Two MOGS’s enter the octagon, both with God on their side. One will emerge triumphant, basking in the warm glow of their own self-righteousness. One will taste the bitter sting of defeat but will immediately blame it on modern perversions of the Bible. Put it on Pray-Per-View and think of the love offering that could be collected. No one will be edified but money will be raised and petty grievances will be aired so from a MOG’s point of view, it’s win/win.

    2. Then, of course, there is tag team preaching. I witnessed that phenomenon once long ago. Never got the point of it but I guess they had their motivations.

    1. Not where I come from. Teen girls fight viciously, tearing out ear rings, etc.

  35. It seemed that Anderson was more offended about the insults on the number of members vs attendees at his miniature Reichsparteitage des deutschen Volkes, than being called a twelve year old.

    I find that interesting considering how very few people are seen in his so-called “sermon” videos.

    B.R.1

  38. That was just a pissing against the wall match. The possum lady is awesome.

  39. Didn’t God foreordain all three of these clowns to act in “exactly” this way….calvinists……else he wouldn’t be sovereign!

    1. Greg, you have hit upon the crux of my argument with Calvinism. It makes God the author of, instigator of, and participant in sin.

      1. greg has this ongoing habit of inserting one of his two or three OCD religious topics into any conversation. It is like playing “1 degree of separation” with Calvinism, Liberalism, and maybe something else.
        😎

        2. The third one is homosexuality.

          Ding ding ding, we have a winner!

      2. You have agreed with me, that means you may be banned for a period of time….but if you’re real good and go back to agreeing with everyone here and do the whole “group-think” thing here at SFL they may let you back in!

        But you are right about calvinism…..not one petal of the man-made tulip is true.

        2. Not believing the lie of “limited atonement” doesn’t make one a universalist.

          Christ’s redeeming work made it possible for EVERYONE to be saved, of course many will “reject” the Son (John 3:36)….Christ’s redemption only becomes effective when man believes….the bible knows nothing else.

      3. Don’t worry, RTG, you aren’t in danger of being banned. The only people who need to worry about being banned are those who can’t have a debate without demeaning and antagonizing their opponents (should those opponents be gay, Calvinists, liberals, or gay liberal Calvinists). So, may it suffice to say, you’ve nothing to be concerned about!

        1. The entire purpose of SFL is to demean fundamentalists.

          RTG….What you need to do is to observe abit, and then simply jump in and “demean” any group that the “majority” here demean….it’s kind of like a group think thing…..Saul Alinsky would be proud of SFL.

        2. Greg sprayed: “the whole purpose of SFL is to demean fundamentalists”

          No, Greg, it is not. It pokes fun at the many hypocrisies within the Movement, and may jab at individuals who are part of the Machine. It is therapy for those who have been through the Mill and have come out the other side, often in little pieces. You would not understand that, you are still part of the Machine. I have found it to be wonderful therapy. I was not raised as a Fundy (with a capital “F”) but I was raised in Northern Ireland, as a good Ulster Protestant and that was like the IFB cubed. So all of the points raised on this Blog can be applied to my own upbringing.

        4. I am not a part of the fundamentalist machine….having vacated them several years ago…But because I am an independent thinker and don’t go along with the “group-think” here, I am constantly ostracized and judged, exactly like the way you just “judged” me.

        5. So Greg, you are not a Fundy, you “vacated” them and you just come here to stand up for them against people who have been hurt by them. Strange pass time You, my friend, need a better hobby. Macramé?

        6. greg, I would suggest you are far less the “independent thinker” you believe yourself to be.

          Honestly, you are one of the more aggressively antagonistic people in the group here. We may poke fun at fundamentalists and their foibles. You seem offended by our talking about them. The attitude is familiar to me. My wife is similarly offended when I make remarks about fundamentalism. She admits that fundamentalism is wrong, but her heart is still trapped by it, she still attends a fundamentalist church, her friends are predominately fundamentalist. Her grandfather was a fundamentalist evangelist. It will take physically moving from the area for there to be any chance of actually making changes in that area.

          It does take time to get away from fundamentalism. Even when one has left Fundystan proper, it is really difficult to clear the suburbs. Healing is hard in any case.

          Admittedly this is my assessment. You are free to disagree. But I have no fear of being banned. I choose my words with a reasonable amount of care, and even when I disagree with someone I hope to make my words palatable.

          Be at Peace. We all have our journeys toward where we ought to be.

        7. It is easy to get the man out of Fundamentalism. Harder to get the Fundamentalism out of the man. Personal experience. All the same, I’ve sometimes wondered about Greg : is he for real or is he a very good Poe?

        8. greg is real enough. But there are degrees and distances when leaving fundamentalism. And some only think they leave it, moving from one fundamentalist error to another, but never breaking free of the background mindset.

          Time may help. But right now he seems to need to oppose those who are anti-fundy. The friend of my enemy is my enemy?

        9. MiriamD – How do you figure I am “standing up for them.”?

          Paul – I don’t want to judge you as you have me, but it would seem “many” of the folks that come to SFL are just as fundy as ever, they just switched teams.

        10. Ok greg, what is your purpose in posting? I am curious. I, like Paul, was not raised IFB but in a group who have so many of the same qualities. SFL has been such a help to me. SFL, points out, often with humour that is so healing, the ridiculous double standards, the blatant lies, the crazy narcissism, and so on so forth, that is all a part of the fundamentalism. I was demeaned, controlled, abused by them and the freedom to say what I actually think about them is a great thing.

  40. Since no one else has yet stated the obvious . . .

    Gipp has no idea what a 12 year old boy’s room looks like.

    1. He doesn’t seem to know the difference between “12” and “4,” but really, is that a surprise?

    3. Gipp has three sons, but I’m pretty sure they were raised in a van as they traveled around to various churches.

      1. Not a covered wagon, drawn by oxen in true 1611 style?

      2. Raised to be the same circus performers their father is I’m sure.

        No offense to the clowns & circus acts out there….

        1. This was intended as a reply to where Paul Best said, before correcting himself:

          Hyles got caught Anderson hasn’t

  42. Oh My. Steven Anderson really did preach about peeing standing up. But he has a flaw in his logic, and isn’t following what the Bible said.

    To be really Biblical, and really literal, he should be peeing on walls, and eschewing toilets. Because the Bible doesn’t talk about toilets. There’s no fancy-pantsy, new age, namb-pamby urinals in the KJV, Amen? Do you find toilets in the Bible? , No you do not. . Bathrooms are clearly an invention of lazy prissy men, or worse, women and Interior Decorators.

    The Bible says for *men* to pee against the wall. Not in some girly room with air fresheners, feminine towels and toilet paper. Not in someone’s home, and certainly not in the church. You man up, find a wall, and pee on it.

    A real Godly man will follow what the Bible says and will go outside.

  43. What if you want to shit? Is it ok for a preacher to use a receptacle so it can be recycled into a sermon?

    1. A proper MOG must follow the admonition of Deuteronomy 23:13 wherein it sayeth, “And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee.” So MOGS everywhere, follow God’s word and cover it with a shovel after you poop in the yard.

        2. George! Ahem. As I was TRYING to say….

          From dirt thou art, and to dirt you shall return. Little bit by little bit.

  44. Okay. Of all the “off” things Steven Anderson has said, the one Gipp calls him out on is the post trib rapture viewpoint, which is something a LOT of mainline Christians believe. I guess where he has been heretical, hateful, or just plain weird in other points isn’t too important, but the post trib rapture is. (I know Gipp mentioned the infamous pissith against the wall sermon, but the rapture was what this rant was about.

    2. How much of that stuff does Gipp actually agree with, though?

  45. Gipp and Anderson: a pox on both their houses. Two little kids playing “King of the Hill” and taking it way too seriously.

    1. They don’t know that the hill is only six inches high, and is full of fire ants.

  46. I think Misters Gipp and Anderson both desperately need their possums massaged.

    Repeatedly.

    1. Their wives are good and submissive, and won’t let a non-husband-approved thought enter their pretty little heads.

      1. What’s sad about that is that usually happens with women of these sects or cults. I usually don’t start stuff with a man just because but I personally won’t take any slack from one either just because I have different genitalia lol those kind of men disgust me. These two are that kind of ‘men’. Shameful.

  50. Gipp admits to being a christian zionist but then says he doesn’t know john hagee, the pre-eminent christion zionist. I guess that’s why they call him Bull.

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