Odds and Ends

Boot Camp

253 Comments

The following invitation showed up in my e-mail this week.

30 day Boot Camp for men 18 and over who want training for the times we live in, plus the power of GOD in their ministry and life. To be held at SABC Camp Grounds in Conroe, Texas on FM 1485 and Brown Rd. All men teaching and preaching will be approved by Pastor Danny Farley.

1 Must be at least 18

2 Must have permission from your pastor to attended

3 Cost 400.00 dollars per person

4 Space is limited

Included was a link that led me to this page:

Which features this very, very scary application.

This all leads me to wonder, what exactly goes on at this “boot camp”? Why is the website so completely devoid of any information? And why would anybody in their right mind attend it?

253 thoughts on “Boot Camp”

        1. Shady Acres has banjos, guitars, flute, sax, and any other instrument a church member plays.

    2. And after going to this boot camp, you’ll still amount to “JACK SQUAT!” But at least you’ll still get a steady diet of government cheese :^)

        2. Scorpio were you ever blessed by the “evangelists” from Shady Acres @ the Hamburg Tent Revivals? Guys like Mike Saunders, Gary Lutrick, and Danny Farley? I grew up going every year; but I mostly hung out in the food tent, that was some good eatin’ 🙂

        3. Josh – I only made it out to Ye Olde Tyme tent meetings twice. Way back when I was first indoctrinated. I don’t remember the names other than the local WNY preachers. I do remember the food tent however. I just watched the video clip of Gary Lutrick that you linked below. I would have remembered him if I saw him preach.

        4. I recommend THE X-MEN! Yes — the ones from Teen Camp Meeting 2015. Now that would be boot camp unsurpassed by the Marines, and guaranteed to close ‘er down in less than 30 days. 🙂

        5. Gary Lutrick can motivate people to kill themselves. If you have ever even tried to listen to anything recorded, you get a taste of how horrid he talks and when you’re forced to sit through his never ending sack of shit talking, a rope seems cuddly.

      1. Run like hell is clipping your heels!
        Do not let these fools destroy you.
        BTW: Facebook is a sin at Shady Acres. Im sure they won’t see this comment!~lol

    4. If you feel led by a spirit, go visit “Evangelist Lupe Sanchez” Facebook. He doesn’t know how to set it and if you are a friend of a friend, you can tell him anything!~lol!~ He is presently traveling around the country, pushing the boot camp.

      I’ve been having a one way conversation with him for constantly misquoting Jack Wood, my dad. Dad said things too foolish to be repeated and preachers say, “Jack Wood said… ” to make themselves more believable. I heard my dad’s manner of speech all my life and Sanchez is teaching the “righteous way” via lies? Screw him! In past experience, I know Lupe Sanchez has a mean streak in him a mile wide! He just can’t be all real when people can read his responses. In email, he knows how to get down and get mean!

      If you search his facebook for “Jack Wood,” you can join our half-dead conversation. At last notice, Lupe is going to ask Danny Farley if misquoting dad is the same as lying.
      You can’t make this shit up!
      I bet you can sign up for the boot camp through Lupe!~ WooHoo!

  4. This sounds like a place where parents would send “difficult” young adults for “reform.” I wonder how many law suits will result?

  5. Is is called “Boot Camp” because if you step out of line, you will be kicked to death? ( in which case, how is different from Church)

  6. God is moving, Darrell. The Lord uses modern technology like email to get our attention. This is your chance to get right and get back into a ministry. For a pastor recommendation I suggest Pastor Sexton – I’m sure he’ll give you his full support.

  7. I love the last statement about regarding the rules whether written or spoken (You are surrendering absolute control to us). And doesn’t the camp name give it all away, “Shady”? Why not join the Marine Corps instead? You’ll learn much more useful job skills, get paid and receive education benefits? Granted that’s a four year commitment rather than 30 days, but somehow I think Shady Acres would be a much longer hell than Marine Corps.

  8. Darrell only pote ths because he really wans to go. Can we set him up wih a GoFundMe account? 🙂

    Seriously though……..somebody from SFL has GOT to go to this thing……..with permission from their pastor of course 🙂

    1. Will we also take a collection for the psychiatric care that will be needed after this once-in-a-lifetime experience?

      1. With any luck they will “get right with Gid” and “surrender” to ministry under the direct authority of the glorious MoG.

      2. Are you f-ing kidding me? This boot camp would be a hoot. These ass clowns are ass clowns.

        the Admiral

    2. This is a great idea – I would help to sponsor someone.

      I honestly don’t think it would help Darrell though. He already spent 4 years at a boot camp in Pensacola.

        1. Darrell, if you really want to go, I could get you in and then you’re on your own. Women will be there to serve cause you know the fundy women love to serve!

  9. How many applications do you think we could send in before they caught on they weren’t real?

    1. Probably very many. If they don’t consider it to be a joke right now then they won’t suspect any applications would be jokes either.

      How wonderful would it be if our delegate were the ONLY attendee LOL!!!!!!!!

    2. I’m at 22 and counting. It seems that they never had fun in middle school and don’t know that they have processed applications for Seymour Butts, Jed I Knight, and Bud Light. Although the application for Dey’ron Smith was denied…. They said that they reserved the right to do this with out any reason. 😉

      3. Thank you for the morning laugh. I wonder if Bill Board and I. B. Praisin have been accepted.

  10. You might be a Fundy if you are an adult male with THIRTY contiguous days to run around in the woods at a make-believe “boot camp”.
    Employment much?

    2. Lol. I was thinking the same thing. 30 days with nothing to do? Can you say home schooled?

        1. I read that as them saying it in an exasperated tone. No time to listen to your objections, plenty of time to tell you the truth.

          You’re not a KJV Only?? OMG, I can’t even…

      2. Given the end of summer timing, church school teacher, Basement Bible College instructor, or ACE curriculum supervisor are also options. August 14th ending could still give up to two weeks of prep in churches that haven’t followed public schools in moving the start date of the year deeper into summer, and returning ACE supervisors probably don’t have much prep to do that another person working at the same school couldn’t do for them.

        I also wouldn’t be surprised if whatever significant IFB college that church is most closely associated with has a start date far enough after the 14th for the students to go, come home, and then get to class. Most college students are 18 by the summer after freshman year, even the ones who got out of high school early.

        1. I wasn’t aware Shady Acre’s school was ACE. Marsha Farley graduated a state college, has a counseling degree, Teaching degree, and more. Danny graduated Texas A & M with honors and that is no easy feat.

          Obviously, education didn’t help them become better, kinder, or more understanding people. Kids from Shady Acres usually attend secular colleges, like the University of Houston.

        1. Lol. I am sure there are many fine home schooled children out there. I have just never met them.

    3. “Must be a grown up to come to our super awesome boot camp. NO GIRLS ALLOWED!”

      3. Fundy women will be there! The men would starve to death without the women to cook, serve, and clean?

  11. Oh, Danny Farley…

    Shady Acres used to have a month-long campmeeting in the summer – I wonder if this is replacing it.

    Gary Lutrick is preaching. He takes an incredible amount of time and volume to say nothing at all.

    1. Gary Lutrick 🙂 one of these days his head is going to pop right off while he’s screaming and shaking that stubby finder at everyone. I never could understand half of what he was saying. Not that it mattered 🙂 good times. ….

      1. Even if his head did pop off, would he miss it? Yeah, I guess he would. He needs somewhere to keep his mouth

        1. Gary Lutrick preached in Maine on occasion, and one of the New England types, not used to his manner of presentation, suggested that he must have been tipping back a bottle a few times prior to entering the tent in order to effect such verbal histrionics.

        2. Josh – That clip is all kind of special. He is such an angry man. But I will say that it is about time that someone preach against Super Mario Brothers.

        3. Listening… he looks like he has done for preaching what Columbus did for the steam engine.

        4. I clicked the link, and picked a random spot about halfway through. I heard something about “them perverts on Facebook” and staying out of church, I think because of Facebook. I don’t need any of that foolishness, but thanks for the offer.

        5. I listened to 45 minutes of it while I cleaned out my fish tanks. The man is a stupid, ignorant, bat-shit crazy, red-neck. How he isn’t in an institute is beyond me. His wife doesn’t whine that he isn’t home more? Gee wonder what on earth the reason for that is?

        6. My favorite line so far:

          Did you that’s how God’s really gonna touch you? You just start doing things that don’t make no sense… Amen!

        7. Is this the video where he says, “F*g!” over and over again? That actually happened. Lutrick is out of his mind…even by the IFBs I hung out with thought he was nuts. A few of them liked Farley for some reason. I never could see why they did.

        8. Thanks Josh for that gem. Now I know what I am qualified to do when I decide to switch careers. I will be an IFB preacher. I have all the qualifications. I can read. I can speak in a (fake) redneck southern accent. I know just enough of the Bible to misapply it. I can get all worked up and angrily holler. I love to eat (a lot). I can go to Goodwill and get a cheap suit and a plain tie. My wife can give me a blo…I mean bad haircut. And I already have 7 kids. Oh….and I can dust off the old leather bound Schofield reference KJV. I’m ready to go.

          the Admiral

        9. The old Scofield Bible will get you into trouble. Scofield was an old earth creationist. He actually allowed for evolution.

  12. Also also, I googled this and SFL was already one of the results on the first page. Google has their eye on you, Dar-El!

  13. Ways to spend my summer vacation, ranked:

    1) A nice beach somewhere.
    2) Hiking in the mountains.
    3) Tour of major league ballparks.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    1,067) Sleeping open-air in a swamp without bug spray.
    1,068) Getting hit by a bus.
    1,069) Attending 30-day Fundie Boot Camp

    1. 4) Hope your boss lets you take your whole week of vacation days to fix your basement.

    2. Jimbo your sense of vacation is disappointingly dry. Take Mr. Williams and Mr. Beam with you, they love to hike.

        2. Mr. Laphroaig is my recommendation. Single malt Scotch from the Isle of Isle. Peaty. Nothing better on earth.

  14. If you have 5 additional minutes I encourage the reading of the My Testimony tab on the website. It will tickle your ears.

      1. ” The old priest that married us made me blush!. He said things you can’t even speak about.”

        (ಠ_ಠ)

        2. Just a wild guess that the priest’s mentioned unmentionable topic involved Natural Family Planning or making sure that they were “open to life” before being willing to do their wedding.

        3. Gary Lutrick said an old priest married him and Stephanie? I could’ve sworn dad married those two. They were in Shady Acres when they got married! Hmmm

  15. “Applicant must believe the KJV Bible”

    I know these folks think that the KJV is an inspired translation but what Christian beliefs can only be found there? The only ones I can think of off the top of my head are that Good King Jimmy had the divine right to rule and that Easter was being celebrated in Jerusalem around the year 45.

    1. As mentioned before, no time for debate. We only have 30 days of pretend boot camp.

  16. So are they going to get up and run ten miles before dawn? Singing cadences the whole time…

    My husband was stationed at Fort Devens and we lived on the base briefly. I remember hearing the Units marching around and the sound of their chants.

    ‘My grandma is 91! She does PT just for fun.”

    So how would a fundy cadence go?

    2. This could be a fun challenge…

      “We just like to walk about
      Rant and rave and even shout”

    3. Sadly a marching cadence might go something like this:
      Does the wicked NIV
      Point the way to Calvary?
      No! No! No! No!
      No, No-ho, No-oh, No,
      NO! NO! NO!

    4. Went to university
      Then I joined the IFB.
      In the place of a career,
      I got poverty and fear!
      Woe! Woe! Woe!

  17. What is “training for the times we live in” supposed to mean? It sounds like they’re working on the next Branch Davidian.

      2. This place is a little over 3 hours south of me. I’d be willing to spy for a day and report back what I see and hear. 🙂

        5. Haha! True. But, I can be sneaky! Although, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were heavily guarded.

        6. I have a vision of Rebecca, heavily camo’d, face mudded over, crawling through the underbrush………nah, just show up with a plate of fried stuff, they’ll let you in the front gate.

        7. Hahaha! Getting all camo’d up for dramatic effect would be kind of fun. 🙂 But, you are definitely right that just having food would probably do the trick!

        8. Note to whoever moderates comments: (I’ve used a few names before I think(Barry Goodman is a pole dancer being the most recent), I promise I’ll stick with this one.)

          I thought they had a fence and locked gate around their compound?

        10. So considering the fenced compound if you want to spy, Rebecca you are going to have to use your feminine wiles and food. Why does that in conjunction with fundies make me feel so ill?

        11. It definitely makes me feel ill, too. They’re all just so slimy!! I’m sure I’d be scarred for life if I saw and heard what went on during this “training.” I guess it’s just morbid curiosity that has me wanting to check it out. They will probably be plotting to take over the world.

        12. I was not clear. The boot camp makes me ill but what I was talking about was the combination of feminine wiles and fundies

        14. The church is about 15 minutes from me. I’m going to be visiting there soon, so anything you want me to find out, let Darrell know. I’ll ask how the applications for Boot Camp are going!~lol!~

          Where is an unemployed fundy boy going to get $400.00?

  18. 1) 18+ adult men need written & signed permission from their Pastor to attend.

    2) “training for the times we live in”, I think means training for the fantasy world that we think existed in 1611, and we pretend is the ideal world we wish to live in now. There will of course be no training on anything relevant to your lives & real world you live in now

    3) I remember well the arduous forms Jesus had the disciples sign stating that attendance & participation were solely at the discretion of leadership and they could and would be removed at will by that leadership should there be any dissension or discord.

    1. I think 3 is well documented in Q, and the Gospel of Thomas, but I can’t be certain.

    2. 2) “training for the times we live in”, I think means training for the fantasy world that we think existed in 1611, and we pretend is the ideal world we wish to live in now. There will of course be no training on anything relevant to your lives & real world you live in now

      Actually, I’m going to go with survivalist bullshit, like shooting guns and camping and stuff.

    3. My thoughts exactly. Why do adults need permission slips not from their parents but their pastor?

        1. Screening and the capacity to let the pastor know everything if something comes up or someone rebels against the slightest thing. Or if someone reveals something that might make a useful sermon illustration later on.

      3. You need a permission slip from your pastor because you will miss “his” church for a month.

  19. Yes, this is scary. There’s so much that can be read into and already known about what type of training and instruction that will be received. That line about not having time for KJV debating is especially telling. Scary stuff.

    But where I have trouble is because I know (not these guys, but generally) just how much these people really do care about others. Obviously at some point it becomes more about showing others truth because the truth is more important than the actual person, but I’m sure these are genuinely nice, kind, caring people who want what’s best for someone, best defined as leading them into the truth they must share.

    Which, for those of us out and on the other side, makes looking back difficult. We see where the abuse was, the bad ideas, the false truths, where we were manipulated and lied to. And that colors the actual love and care we may have received, even if it was always conditional on “being like us” or believing exactly as they do.

    It makes looking back at these things so difficult. If you’ve gone through similar, you want to remember the fun times, and look back and remember fondly on the friendships and relationships you had. But if you look too closely, you see the problems, you remember the pain and hurt, and you wish you had never gone through it.

    Complicate it just a little more if you are still friends with some of them…

    1. StuartB, when I look back at the people who were “genuinely loving” what I see now, with the blinkers off, is that but for fundyism they would have been genuine in their love. With these people the fundy comes first, the love second. They meant well, but they didn’t put love before their version of truth and that tainted their love. Their love of what they believed made them incapable of truly loving in a disinterested way. They did much harm. People who thought they loved me councilled me to break up with a man who really did love me because he was a different race, they councilled me to throw away a university scholarship because “university is bad”, they councilled me to beat my children because of original sin. I don’t think that can be called genuine love. It can be argued that they thought it was genuine but not that it is. IMO

      2. The four people that I really appreciated, and encouraged me, when I was a new Christian in a fundy church, dropped out of Fundystan a few years after I did . They are in evangelical churches, but not of the fundy flavor. Somewhere they learned that love wasn’t just about keeping the rules.

      3. “Their love of what they believed made them incapable of truly loving in a disinterested way. They did much harm.”

        Growing up in the pastor’s home, I know that love is not what drives their theology and resulting behaviors. I learned what hate looked and felt like at an early age. Dethroning the eldest daughter was my greatest “sin” and she tells people that she hated me from the day she heard a girl was born! The pastor’s wife literally hates me because I was born… in freakin’ 1960!

        The pain she causes our family will never be questioned because she is the pastor… ummm… the pastor’s wife, and above accountability. The last words she spoke to me were a lie. “We were going to call you as soon as we knew the funeral plans.”
        My younger bro (the one (out of five) I was closest to) was murdered near Houston. The Family flew in from all over the US and were at the viewing the SAME night. My bro was buried the following morning.
        I hung up on her lying face! Obviously, she was not going to call me once his burial plans were known.This is not normal behavior regardless the spectrum of responses to the sudden death of a sibling. Aberrant behavior looks normal, until we learn better.
        A Lying Kind’a Love?

        1. Yes, ThatGirl, I felt much of that hate too. It is so destructive. I am sorry about your brother and your families treatment of you. The ‘godly’ members of my family will not speak to me because I reported our bil for molesting our children, theirs and mine. They don’t hate him, they hate me.

      4. “People who thought they loved me councilled me to break up with a man who really did love me because he was a different race, they councilled me to throw away a university scholarship because “university is bad”, they councilled me to beat my children because of original sin.”

        As my mama would ask, “If someone counsels you to jump off a bridge, you jumping?”

        I was counseled to marry a man, who hit me before we were married, and I did. I was told to stay with him after he laid hands on my baby to cause harm, and that is when I found my brain and ran like the boogeyman was after me… because he was.

        These people are dangerous because people believe them and they are not real. I know them behind the closed doors and back there, ain’t nuttin’ purdy!

        1. Dear OPD, When you are taught from birth that God is a micromanager, I mean interested in every detail of your life, and will reward and punish not only every action but every thought, the answer to your Mama’s question about the bridge is, ”If someone tells me that God desires that I should jump off that bridge, I will jump.” That is extreme fundyism. My children were also the thing that broke me from the Fundies but having been indoctrinated all my life about discipline and that neglecting to discipline my children was an unkindness to them, I didn’t see things the way undoctrinated people did. Sadly my eyes were ripped open. I am happy they are open, I am sad that it took a pedophile masquerading as a godly man to do that. And angry. Very, very angry. Fundyism is a gift to these people.

  20. Story time!

    I once went to a campus crusade affiliated young adult’s weekend retreat a few hours north of the city. I’d been out of IFB for maybe two years at that point, so it was a mixed group of denominations attending, no KJVs, and actual guitar and drum praise and worship music. (Just some caveats, since fundamentalism exists everywhere, not just KJV)

    At some point, we had to do the obligatory “guys and girls go to separate meetings”, but with a twist. They took us guys out into the woods (think it was like 30 degrees out, late fall), where for two hours we went hiking, including through a few creek beds. We eventually got to a point where they had us stop and rest, and THEN gave us the talk.

    And I just remember being pissed. Two hours of extreme hiking, soaking wet, miserable, all for an object lesson about “purity” or some bullshit.

    If that’s the type of boot camp this group is promoting, to make boys into men through extreme purity and every man’s battle, well then I’ll take your golden idols of Hyles and Schaap, hang them up on a pole in the midst of your camp, and go home and do whatever the fuck I want.

    1. Hmmm. Take men on a two hour hike into the woods and talk about masterbation.

      Move along. There’s nothing to see here folks. Nothing odd at all.

  21. I’m guessing this boot camp holds a lot of appeal to those who think run-of-the mill, everyday fundamentalism isn’t authoritarian enough.

  22. You get the power of God by giving up any power you have over body or soul.

    It is an indoctrination technique, used by the military and by cults. Keep the individual exhausted. Feed them poorly. Pound certain ideas into their consciousness. Give them no room to debate or to actually use critical thinking skills. Force compliance by threat of expulsion and the label of failure.

    And never, ever give away any real information about what you believe or what you are up to. That doesn’t even get passed along to the inductees. As lower-level grunts, their mission is to do what they are told, not to think, know or plan.

    There was much ado about “deprogramming” people who went into cults like this. The victims certainly needed help to reenter society.

    2. You get the power of God by giving up any power you have over body or soul.

      I’d argue most, if not all, of the fundy/gelical/costal/matic/liness world believes this. Stinks of gnosticism. And has a built in failure rate as well as excuses: you didn’t try hard enough. You didn’t surrender enough. You didn’t fast enough. You didn’t pray in tongues enough.

      It totally works. You don’t.

        1. Gee. Thanks. WTF? My education has obviously been sorely lacking. I have come across weird fundy beliefs about satanic rituals and persecution complexes, (my sister and her husband are convinced that they need to guard their little boys from rapists who are hiding in the bushes waiting to snatch them up. Not the girls, they are fine, it’s just the boys) this is bizarre, mind boggling bizarre. I will admit that my mind might be easily boggled.

        2. Just what I would want to watch before going to eat. Thanks a lot. Pretty effective appetite suppressant.

        4. The preachers who are absolutely bat-guano insane are a lot more fun to watch and listen to than the ones who are just neurotic and mean, and the ones who are faking it all.

    2. Actually, Zimmerman shot him, in what might not “technically” be murder, but was certainly manslaughter, and the result of a series of poor decisions. In the end, it will be people like Zimmerman who end up convincing our government that civilians cannot be trusted with firearms.

  24. and the fact that it last not a weekend…not a week… 30 DAYS!! Who has this time? !?!?!

    1. Homeschooled young men still at home who don’t have the chore list their sisters do.

      I’m sickly certain the 18+ requirement is so child protection laws can’t be brought to bear against them, not because it’s anything they don’t think a 16- or 17-year-old boy in their churches should be exposed to.

  26. This camp is for 18 year olds and over. Why the hell does any adult need their pastor’s permission? If a 25 year old came to me and asked me to give them permission to go to camp, I would tell them to grow a pair and find a camp where they can be an adult.

    2. Separation and keeping outsiders away. They can screen without having to trust that anyone isn’t lying about where they go to church if they require a pastor’s signature.

    4. One of the Big Awful Rotten Fundy (BARF) themes is “being under authority.”

      You see, you don’t have any rights. If you are a woman, you submit to your male master — father, husband, pastor. Of course, the Pastor has more authority than your husband, so ….

      If you are a man, you have to be “accountable” because you are a slave of Jesus Christ. So the Pastor will pair you up with a snitch (uhhh, partner) for you to confess your sins to, monitor your internet, etc. You have to give up your rights to the Pastor. He should be allowed to tell you how to live, how to vote, what to think. He intercedes between you and God, don’t you know?

      The Pastor, of course, is accountable to no one. He stands before God alone. It is a high and lonely position, but someone has to do it. And rules meant for common people can’t possibly apply to him!

      This attempt to restructure society into a kind of church-feudal pattern is a direct assault on our democracy. We have elected people to office who want to dismantle the government instead of governing. They want to make people depend on religious organizations for help — furthering the religious restructuring of society into a feudal form. They are also busy about removing undesirables from the voter roles so this process won’t be hindered.

      Oh, and several fundy pastors have called for some form of extreme punishment for LGBT people. Internment camps, execution, what have you. One person in California wants to make it legal to just shoot a gay person in the head so God won’t visit judgment on us.

      It feels like the future is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Politically, fundamentalism is on the rise and seeks to suppress all dissent, even if that means destroying the nation. But they are looking for Jesus to return, so they don’t care.

      1. what you have described is worse than the 7 year tribulation period of dispensationalism…..
        But you are correct. Their need to control does undermine the very democracy they supposedly hold to….but it will be their undoing as well.

      3. Yup. If there was one doctrine that PCC seemed to emphasizedmore than any other—in chapels, church, college classes, employee meetings, everywhere—it was their doctrine of Authority. The terminology and analogies they used were pretty much from Bill Gothard’s materials, particularly the analogy of the umbrella and the idea that submitting to whoever claims authority over you protects you from evil, etc.

        At least when I was there as student and staff, PCC didn’t like individual privacy or individual autonomy. They liked to say that individuals don’t have rights, only responsibility (to authority). Any authority figure (self appointed or not) was said to represent God in your life, without limit or caveat unless what you were commanded to do violated scripture (meaning *their* interpretation thereof, of course).

    5. I was wondering about that myself! I would love to know how many applicants they get. I feel pretty confident in saying that if anyone were to sign up for this, they would be someone I would stay FAR away from! That’s a big bag of crazy right there!

  27. I’m wondering who has the time to take off a whole month for this! I am familiar with Shady Acres Baptist church. A former fundy-lite pastor of mine used to preach there at its yearly campmeeting. Jack Woods was pastor of the church at the time. I believe Danny Farley became pastor after Jack Woods either retired or passed away. My former husband and I attended the camp meeting one year. Not so fundy, definitely not your typical fundy meeting and actually kinda refeshing comparstively. And the music was not at all fundy, you’d never hear that music in even a fundy-lite church. I have no idea what this boot camp is about, never heard of it. I wouldn’t be surprised, though, to hear my former fundy-lite pastor is preaching at it. Unless things have really changed there.

    1. I’d never have thought to describe Jack Woods as fundy light. I remember him fondly as a person, but I doubt I could stomach his preaching any more.

      1. I don’t remember much. We attended the campmeeting back in the 90s. I mainly remember that although I liked the music it was very worldly by not only fundy but most coservative standards. More like the country and western you hear on the radio. I have very little recall of the preaching, lol.

    2. I can’t imagine when you attended Jack Wood’s church and thought it to be Fundy light. They are as crazy as any Pentecostal church I have been in where people don’t speak in tongues. Throwing song books during song service is different alright. Granted, there music service is fairly cool with all of the church members who play instruments, but it’s old time gospel.
      Danny took over after dad retired because he was dying.
      This is scary in reality. 30 days is enough time for them to convince young men that whatever they say is the only truth.

        1. Yes, Jack Wood was my father and I just called him “dad.”
          You all are freakin’ hilarious and I promise not to give your tricks away. Hell, I’ll help!

      2. I wonder now. I’ve been away so long, maybe I no longer accurately classify them, lol. 🙂

  29. Our school (OBC) choir sang at this church back in the mid-1980’s. Jack Wood was the pastor then.

  30. I was more appalled at the website. One of the headers:

    “Where i like to eat Texas BBQ gooood”

    Wow…of course like many preachers, he has eaten at no less than 43 different BBQ restaurants.

  31. So an 18-year-old needs his pastor’s permission, huh? I guess I’ve been out for so long that I’m shocked any man would consider asking permission to go to “camp.”

    Rules written or unwritten? Wow. Takes me back to my Midwestern days.

    1. Actually he’s not big at all. For a sperm whale.

      Maybe we should stop picking on poor tony because of hi size. It might not just be because e’s a glutton. (Can I say that with a straight face?)

      2. I don’t have time to pick on Tony Hutson for being fat.
        I’m too focused on how he’s an insane, ignorant, greedy, self-aggrandizing egomaniac who constantly acts like a damn fool.

    3. Poor Pastor Hutson. Maybe I should go easy on him. Matbe he cant help being, er, well-padded, any more than I can be Gollum-skinny. But he is just to easy a target.

    4. That should read “any more than I can HELP being Gollum-Skinny”. George must have a weight problem and sensitive about it.

    5. Actually I used to be very sensitive about my scrawny build. I even went through periods of training with weights, until I wrecked my back. I got to be reasonably strong, but I still looked like Gollum on a bad day. As the years have passed it bothers me less, since I’m fairly strong for my size, hqve a reasonable level of fitness and excellent health. I don’t like being laughed at because of how I might look, so I may be less inclined to laugh at others, but tony hutson is just such an over- inflated balloon I can’t resist sticking pins in him.

      1. They might have been funny in the fifties but time moves on, not fundies, but the rest of us do too.

      2. I thinkost of his jokes had worn pretty thin by the end of the Mesolithic. Same as his attitudes.

  35. Getting permission from your pastor is a fairly common occurrence in fundy land. To attend most of the bible colleges you have to have permission of your pastor. I think it does two things, first it reinforces the idea of pastoral authority, second it helps prevent those evil liberals from infiltrating and destroying those godly institutions from the inside out.

    I’m sure you know that satan is attacking the true and pure church, especially the pastors and leaders. There’s even a training program in New York where they are sending out 1,000 women to seduce IFB pastors to destroy their ministry and thereby the churches they lead.

    1. I’m in New York. Where are these 1,000 women? I could help them “hone their skills” as it were.

    2. Wait…what? Are there IFB pastors out there actually saying this? Not that it would surprise me, but you’d think they’d come up with a more believable lie. I mean, really, I think these 1,000 women have MUCH better things to do with their time. And, who’d want to seduce an IFB pastor anyway? I have yet to see one who’s even remotely attractive. Ick…..

      1. My son was actually taught this at an IFB bible college as well as hearing it from preachers. I did some research with him and showed him there was no credible evidence that any part of that is true. However, there were plenty of pastors that had affairs and then blamed it on these “black widows”. After all, no real MOG would ever be at fault for a sin like that, it has to be someone else’s fault.

        1. Oh, of course! MOGs are never in the wrong. It’s always someone else’s fault. It’s funny (sort of) because I remember many an IFB preacher saying that we are all responsible for our own actions and we couldn’t use the excuse “the devil made me do it;” however, that is, in essence, exactly what they do when they are the ones who’ve done something wrong and get caught. They are so quick to pin it on the work of the devil.

          That’s good that you showed your son that these stories are not credible. I think so many of us are quick to believe everything our pastors and Bible college teachers and Sunday School teachers tell us as we’re growing up (I know I did!), and we never imagine they would lie to us. They definitely take advantage of our naivety.

      2. Shady Acres supported Mack Ford, the dead pedophile at New Bethany in Louisiana. In 1982, I told dad that Ford molested and raped me. I was 22, a divorced and single mom to one child. All I wanted was to stop him from hurting anymore girls. W

        Dad said the KJV required two or more witnesses before he could call out Mack Ford, allowing Ford to continue sexually abusing children for two more decades.

        Fundies’ reliance on misinterpreted “scripture” and their disdain for anyone unlike themselves, helped free me from their chains. Regardless what I did to please The Family, I was never good enough for them. As I got older, I realized that they were not the kind of people I want in my life. Life is less cumbersome without the excess baggage. Growing up the middle of seven, I never imagined we’d live for decades without speaking.

        My adult children are better people because they were taught from the get-go, to question everything and everyone. My kids genuinely love one another and they work for the other’s respect. One is Christian, one is Atheist, and I think one is a Taoist. They are my children and to shun one would be akin to chopping off a body part!

        1. Dear OPINATEDPREACHERSDAUGHTER, my heart aches for you. Thank you on behalf of all those girls for trying to speak out. I know how hard that is. I have been shunned by most of my family (of seven also but I am not quite in the middle) for speaking out about what my father did to me, what a preacher did to me and what my brother in law, also a preacher, did to my daughters,(and to my sisters daughters.) They do not want to deal with it, they have glossed it over,” little girls get emotional”, ”It wasn’t that bad”, ”They were partly to blame”, all sorts of lies. Although it hurt badly at the time, I too am coming to the realization that they are not good people. My daughters are atheists, I don’t know what I believe any more, I am a bit numb in that department. I do know that standing up, speaking out, was the only good thing to do. The men are only part of the problem. The people who enable or refuse to make them accountable are a very big part of what they do. I am so sorry you have dealt with this too. It is an epidemic in Fundy circles and no where near enough is being done to change it.

        2. THEOPINATEDPREACHERSDAUGHTER: You are an awesome mom. You’ve accepted your children for who they are. I am not so fortunate. I was born and raised fundy. My wife (also a recovering fundy) and I left that church, to attend a southern baptist church, which of course was wrong. My little sister and her husband left a bitter, mostly family, fundy church to attend a, wait for it……southern baptist church. For at least 10 years, my mom complained to me about that. She wished that my sister would go back to the ‘right’ church. I finally had enough and shut her up. My other sister is still dyed-in-the-wool fundy, just like my mom. My little sister and myself will never be truly accepted unconditionally because we aren’t like the other sister…aren’t fundy.
          I said all of that to illustrate this: Our mother doesn’t love us for who we are. We are loved, for sure, but with the caveat that she’s not happy with our church choices. It’s unsaid, but it is screamed loud and clear.
          You are awesome. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Dad suggested naming The choir, “the shady ladies.” Mom didn’t go for it.

  37. I want to know a lot more about what is involved in the “training for the times we live in”

  39. Here’s that old dominatrix question again: Why would you pay someone else to punish and humiliate you?
    Especially when my mother would do it for free?

    Can anyone explain this?

  40. Will the real slim shady please stand up? I doubt there will be too many slim shady’s there.

    1. Slim Shady Acres is exactly what me and several of the youth at North Houston BC used to call it. Most of the time though, we just referred to them as “the heretics”.

  41. I would like to humbly suggest that we pool our resources here and send one of our very own to this here boot camp to really see what’s going on… I’ll kick in some bucks.

    The one doing the suggesting is exempt of course.

    I nominate BaldJonesgrad because the folks at said camp would never suspect him as a spy.

    B.R.1

      1. Dammit.

        I second the motion that I suggested. BaldJonesgrad will go, whether he likes it or not. I have thus spoken, and spoken I have thus.

        All those in favor?

        Ok, it appears that everone is in favor.

        Now, contribute to the GoFundMe account under, “Bald Jones grad goes to Boot Camp” and let’s also consider hidden cameras and such.
        B.R.1

        1. I’ll go. I’ll wear a Taser Body camera and tell those rubes it’s a small square KJV clipped over my heart to help me meditate on the 1611.

          I’ll fool those rubes.

  42. It was reported to me by some friends who went there to hear Jimmy Clark preach that “kill a queer for Christ” got a few amens.

  43. What, you have to send them a snail-mail application?! So much for my plan to apply as a Hare Krishna.

  44. $400 for thirty days is pretty cheap. For that low amount, I’m sure they include plenty of days for “prayer & fasting” to keep the grocery bill down.

    I don’t understand how any grown up person can feel that having a note from their pastor is a normal thing. It’s a complete power game where the boot camp helps the sending pastors further their hold over men b/c they need permission to attend. What if the pastor wants to attend? Who signs his form then?! Maybe that should be answered in a FAQ section on the application:

    “What to do if God wants you to attend but your pastor says ‘no’.”
    “I’m a pastor. Can I give myself permission to attend?”

  45. So…from asking some people still privy to the inner working of this whole thing I found out that it was originally intended to be some kind of youth camp. Then “Loopy” Lupe Sanchez got hold of it…and the rest…well… I was told that this is likely to be a huge failure(Success really, because this is exactly the kind of thing that needs to fail, but you all already know that.).

    I was told some other behind the scenes stuff that isn’t of any interest to the rest of you, but I do have a story of a Sanchez “sermon” that I’ll bring it up next time it’s relevant.

        1. Sanchez was at a camp meeting in Arkansas last May. A pastor from Louisiana by the name of Daniel Goodman had apparently mentioned something about church discipline.

          What Sanchez did next is vomit-inducing…

          “OLD TESTAMENT CHURCH DISCIPLINE”

          He took a verse from Psalms, I can’t remember which, and it doesn’t really matter because he never actually dealt with it in context(SHOCKER).

          To sum it up, “When a brother or sister gets so far out of the will of God that nothing else can be done, the Old Testament church discipline was to kill them.” He labored on this very heavily, but not after telling all the young people how horrible and wicked they were, most of them I know and are good kids that I sincerely pray are delivered out of fundy-ism.

          After that(including a five minute story about his guns), he continued on and mentioned that he wished God would give him a fireproof helicopter so that he could load it up with weapons and fly over Hell and shoot people(He was very careful to mention pedophiles about a half dozen times, which leads me to disturbing conclusions…) while blaring a song. But not just any song… “AHM OWN DA HIGHWAY TO HEAVUUUUUNAAAAH!”

          I wish I was making this up. I almost didn’t believe the guy that told me all this until I found video proof. I have the link if you want to see for yourself, although it should come with a trigger warning if you ask me. Honestly, I’d like to see what SFL has to say about it, think Darrell would share it?

        2. I should also mention that while I was on my way out of fundyland at this point, I’d have still gone had things in the months before at my church hadn’t happened. All things, I’ll share another day when I can get all my thoughts together on it.

          I thank God fundamentalism ran me off before I wasted the trip to Arkansas for that garbage.

    2. Lupe is a pretender. I got into a verbal confrontation with Lupe Sanchez, shortly after my dad died in ’98. I created a “tribute to dad web page” and used a JavaScript to reduce picture thieves.

      Following links that used my bandwidth and linked to my images, I found that Lupe’s church website had all my pictures, without dimensions in the image tag. The images were distorted and I was angry and horribly sad. I contacted the church via their Contact Us page. I told them my name and that I’d appreciate them taking down my pics or linking to the page.

      Lupe responded in all his brilliance, “You’re not the only person who misses your dad.”

      I was livid that he compared my grief to… Anyone! I went a little batshit crazy on Lupe. He escalates situations that his position as pastor necessitate that he respond with a cool head; he has poor anger control. I quickly escalated to cray-cray bitch on wheels!

      That’s how Lupe Sanchez acts when no one is looking!

  46. This is Bert. I needed to change my displayed name in case a fundy I know saw something I said and got pissed off. I still have close family inside.

    I’ve been to something like this boot camp. It’s called The Wilds. I went there 5 times for summer youth camp. It was morning devotions, eat, mid morning devotions, 15 minutes for fun, morning sermon, lunch and repeat the morning’s schedule. If you were lucky you could skip the almost mandatory afternoon soul winning class and the end of week soul winning trip into a nearby town.
    These days, I see the camp the kids in my Methodist church go to and they have fun.
    I still feel cheated.

  47. Why is it every time I come to SFL lately I get the feeling like I am looking inside a horrible, dark closet that I was mistreated in as a child…

    1. Are you talking about the fundy craziness we are cheerfully ridiculing, or are you talking about us?

      Those of us here at SFL have suffered the Dark Closet of Fundamentalism. We have broken out of it, but we still talk about it. The Dark Closet is not fun if you are trapped in it. Dark Closets are only fun to scare yourself (or others with), knowing you can get out.

  49. I know why I would attend. Food and lodging (and all that free preachin) for $400 for a whole month? Who thinks up this stuff? Count me in! That’s cheaper than living in Darrell’s basement.

    the Admiral

  50. Why do people not know how to enpluralize words? At the Shady Ass church website there is a link to “Evangelist”. Then, they proceed to list multiple evangelists. What’s so difficult about putting the “s” on the end? Sure, it’s a little clunky to pronounce, but it’s easy to type.

    the Admiral

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