102 thoughts on “Quotable Quotes”

    2. Abe is right!

      “On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.”
      — William Shakespeare

  5. I thought Bob Jones Sr. coined that phrase. Rice must have absconded with it and took credit!

    The Horror!

    1. That’s what I always heard. But the way these fundies name drop, you never know after a while. There’s this and the way some fundy preachers have to name drop through their entire message. “Jack Hyles said….” “Bob Jones Sr said…” “Lee Roberson said…” til you wonder if God ever said anything to THEM instead of just the famous fundy preachers they idolize.

      1. I swear this happens far too often. I think some fundy pastor’s just make up names and a quote and attribute it to someone without even checking, just so they can sound like they are

        a) Well read
        b) Well educated
        c) Well preached at

        “To be or not to be…”–Bob Jones, Sr.
        “To your own self be true.” Dr. Jack Hyles”
        “Did I do that?”–Jack Schaap

        There’s a Friday game…attribute a quote to a favorite fundamentalist.

        1. This all makes me think of the misattributed sayings and quotes my mother gets in papers her students have written – “As ancient Chinese proverb goes, Rome was not built in a day.” (Merely the tip of the iceberg.)

    2. I don’t know if this is supposed to be funny or something, but that is a picture of Jack Hyles with a quote by Bob Jones Sr. incorrectly attributed the John R. Rice!

      1. It’s a perfect storm of things that only a fundy or ex fundy would know are wrong, and all in 1.

    1. No, it’s three commands. “Do right” “Till the stars” “Fall”. You’ll have to find someone to interpret it correctly for you.

    2. In the kjv, till is used constantly, but without an apostrophe, so the word is technically still wrong.

  8. “No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.”

    ~Abraham Lincoln

    (Could Mr. Lincoln have been thinking of some fundy-of-his-day sermon illustrations?)

  9. It makes my head spin to see a Bob Jones, Sr quote, attributed to John R Rice, with a picture of Jack Hyles.

    I can’t look at it too long.

  10. This is the same guy who wrote opposing inter-racial marriage right? (and the same would apply if it were Bob Jones who said it) It so annoys me when I hear preachers quoting these guys without any concern about what they stood for

  11. As my pastor would say “make them pry your cold dead hands off your ministry.” Doing right means you’re unpaid labor for the church (nursery, bus, etc)

  12. “I’d rather be right wrongly than wrong rightly.” — Dr. Jack Hyles

    And of course we all know what this means…right?

    …right?!

    Okay, maybe not. Is there a Hyles worshipper here that can splain this one to me?

    1. It’s roughly equivalent to, “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

      2. You should have qualified the statement PTFM, with, “I’m not a Hyle’s worshipper, but…”

        🙂

    2. It means “I’d rather have the correct opinion, and be a jerk about it, than have an incorrect opinion but be kind and caring with it.”

      1. As long as you clarify that ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ mean ‘agree with my fundy buddies’ and ‘disagree with my fundy buddies’ respectively.

  14. ..till the stars fall…

    Poetic license, or geocentrist flat earther? Hmmmmmm…..

    Or does this mean the next time there’s a meteor shower, I can uncork the wine, run wild through the streets, start looting and plundering, go find that guy I can’t stand and knock him out, enjoy the free pass while it lasts?

  15. I remember that one! Bob Jones University. It was quoted in Chapel by Dr. Bob Jr.

    And yes, it makes me smile. It is a good admonition. Applied personally, it is fantastic. It doesn’t say to force others to do what you think is right. It also doesn’t say that what you think is always right.

    Hmmm. Might the desire to control others be fundamental part of fundamentalism? Instead of being content to walk upright in your own path, you see yourself as an enforcer?

  17. “I’m Baptist born and Baptist bred; and, when I die, I’ll be Baptist dead.” – Everyone from Curtis Hutson to Clarence Sexton to my Father-in-Law

    1. Interesting.

      “…I am of Paul, I of Apollos, I of Cephas, and I of Christ…”

      and now…

      “…I am of Baptistic origin, I of Methodist, I of Presbytarian, and I of the Church of Christ…”

      Nothing has really changed. We still flatter ourselves all the while paying lip-service to Jesus Christ.

      1. Sort of. While we should definitely be wary of denominational pride, Paul was not addressing that phenomenon. He was addressing people within the same church starting factions based on personality. More like “I am of Piper; I am of MacAurthur” – in the same church.

        1. Just because they didn’t have the same ability to spread their divisiveness abroad doesn’t mean they are any different — or that we are. The “I follow this evangelist” or “I follow this TV evangelist” or “My favorite author is this guy.”

          My daughter is going to the Wilds this summer. She is a bit upset, because she is afraid Steve Pettit isn’t going to be the speaker now that he has become President of BJU. There were other evangelists, but she wanted Steve Pettit.

          Denominational pride can be much the same thing. I am of Luther. I am of Calvin. I am Episcopalian. I am IFB (not a denomination, eh? Right. Uh huh. If you say so…). Wouldn’t you say that denominations are much like personalities? Having been in a few, it feels that way.

      2. I don’t think Paul was against our knowing where our theological roots are but when those roots become a place we feel superior to others or judge others from then Paul has issue with that.

      1. Before I clicked on your link I was convinced it was going to be a breadmaker.

        2. Nice one, rtgmath.

          And for the record, we already had the breadmaker. It came earlier, at a wedding shower.

    3. I’m envious that my denomination (Presbyterian) can’t be so easily summarized in doggerel.

      2. Here are a few ideas for Presbyterian slogans (please take this as a bit of humor and nothing else).

        Presbyterian before the foundation of the earth;
        Presbyterian after heaven and earth have been passed away.

        Presbyterian called and Presbyterian chosen, and when I die, I’ll be Presbyterian frozen.

        I know that all God’s chosen will go to heaven, but there is nothing wrong with riding “first class” (meaning Presbyterian)!

        2. Hey – can you work in the “baptist bride’ers/landmark baptists people? 🙂

    1. Certainly you are inferring that this means “Freeeeeedoooommm” to do right ’til the stars fall, yes?

      🙂

      2. Oh yes. At BJU, when someone complained about a lack of freedom, they were told they had the freedom to do what they ought to be doing.

        Funny how they interpreted their viewpoint to be “Right” while the viewpoint of everyone else was “Wrong.”

        1. You have the freedom to choose to do exactly what I tell you to do.

          Meanwhile, left is right and up is down.

        2. Everything Not Forbidden Is Compulsory. 👿
          (is it the other way round? can’t remember.)

  20. Sermon titles that get quoted:

    “Payday Someday” R.G. Lee
    “The High Cost of Low Living” ?
    “He Got What He Wanted, But He Lost What He Had” ??
    “He That Winneth Souls Is Wise” Rice. (Yes, I know. Bible verse. But used out of context.)

    1. You sure these aren’t country songs? They sure make great titles for such. 😀

      1. There’s another idea for a Friday game: Sermon Title or Country Song?

        1. One of my favorite bumper stickers is the one that says “RAISE the wages of sin.”

    2. That last is also a poor translation of Proverbs 11:30.
      The NRSV renders it thus:
      “The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life,
      but violence takes lives away.”

      1. Actually Lester Roloff preached a famous sermon by this title way before Ralph Sexton, Jr., was a famous preacher. I don’t know if Ralph Sexton, Sr, preached one by that title or not, but the famous one was by Lester Roloff.

  21. ” I like the way I’m doing it better than the way you’re not doing it.” D.L. Moody. Used to justify any and all evangelistic efforts.

  22. “Do right till the stars fall, do right till the last call, do right when you’re all alone. Do right, do right!”

  23. As we all know it was God who can be quoted saying, “He that pisseth against the wall”

    2. And do not tempt God by doing this in an electrical substation!

  26. “We’re right. You’re wrong.”
    -Bob Jones

    “In for a penny, in for a pound.”
    -Jack Schaap

    1. Their definition of doing right involves submitting to their authority and unquestioningly obeying no matter what the world says about it.

      They do that. That’s why BJU’s been digging a huge hole for itself. *waits impatiently for the GRACE report…*

  28. Do right until you find a church member who suits your fancy, then all bets are off.

  29. A former student from my IFB school recently posted the following: “If I perish, I perish.” –John R. Rice.

    I’m pretty sure a woman *GASP* said that first.

    1. That’s about as insightful as “It is what it is”– a saying I’ve heard at least once a week lately.
      I’ll concede that “It is what it is” means something as soon as somebody identifies a thing that is NOT what it is.

      2. Big Gary I tell ya, I have heard that enough already. So my hubby who works out of town called the other night and darnit if he didn’t say that!! More than once in a three minute conversation. UGH!!

        Seriously? Where do people come up with lame “get me off the hook” type sayings? Change what it is already!! I guess that is what I did when I ran from IFB. It was what I did not want any more of!

        You have summed it up well that is for sure.

  30. As Caesar once said, “Render all things unto God.”

    “Vote Obama.” – Hitler

    “Ask not what your church can do for you, but what you can do for your church.” – Ronald Reagan

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