Preachers

Pew Climbing

218 Comments

In the Southern rural sub-culture of the IFB this wind-sucking, pew-climbing preaching style is still somewhat common. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a preacher use a member’s head as a hand-hold for climbing up and down, though.

218 thoughts on “Pew Climbing”

        1. Just for kicks I looked up noob. a newbie, especially a person who is new to an online community and whose online participation and interactions display a lack of skill or knowledge. You got me…

      1. I’m not asnozticz, eggnostic, azznoztic, or even agnostic. Ha! How ’bout you bob?

    1. I really wonder why this kind of preaching exists. I mean, it’s GREAT to get excited, but, unless I’m mistaken, most (if not every) time when Jesus “preached” the scriptures relate it as “and he sat down and taught them.” That doesn’t paint a picture of (as I heard one preacher say today’s medium God has chosen for spreading His Word is) a “leather-lunged, slobberin, bicuit eatin, red-top drinkin (referring to whole milk instead of skim) Baptist preacher.

      2. Clearly, he had to sit down because he was tired from climbing over all the pews.

      3. That would be Tony Hutson. He doesn’t know much about the medium, but he’s a creditable source on the topic of double XL.

        2. I only know him from the performances he posts online. I remembered him saying if you don’t have redtop milk at home then your woman is running the home. Alone, it sounds like he is kidding, but after listening to several of his efforts, I highly suspect he isn’t.

        3. I recall his performance in which he shouted that if you served him mashed potatoes that aren’t made with his favorite recipe, he’ll throw them on the floor.
          That got him on the list of people not invited to dinner at my place, along with
          Stephen Anderson (pisseth against a wall)
          Jack Hyles (smothers family pets)
          Jack Schaap (slaps grandmothers)
          All those guys who run and jump on the furniture
          Larry Brown (smashes appliances)
          David Grice (waves his guns around)
          Phil Kidd (beats children, and brags about it)
          Peter Ruckman (uses the N-word)

          Any of those characters are going to have to learn some manners before I’m letting them in the house.

    2. I don’t think the point is to teach or learn anything.
      It’s just stimulation for the reptilian layers of the brain.

      Really, it’s a poor imitation of black Pentecostal preaching. If you want to see it done “right,” go to an African-American Holiness church.

  6. How many times can you say, “somebody help me say something” in 1:20… lost count at 10…hand clapping distracted me! Whats an eggnostic?

  7. I say somebody oughta say something…(ugh-huh) I say somebody oughta take a stand…(ugh-huh) against the abuse of our children! (ugh-huh)

  8. He is saying absolutely nothing. But it’s a sin to dislike any fundy preaching.

    1. I watched it without the sound first. I thought I needed to hear it. But no, I didn’t. He didn’t say one thing to beneficial to the Christian walk.

    2. Reminds me of the Alison Krauss song, “You Say It Best (When You Say Nothing At All).

  10. Maybe he ought to shut up — it sounds like he’s really stressing his throat! He does a lot of stammering in his speaking. Thankfully, he doesn’t stammer while climbing pews, he might fall on someone!

  11. What did he say? I couldn’t make anything out but that he wants people to get excited and “say amen right tar!” What for? Is he actually preaching something or just prancing around shouting with a hoarse sounding voice?

    Notice the wall built in front of the piano. At first I thought it was a witness stand and then realized it was the piano. I guess this sort of helps the people not to see the pianist’s legs. What a great idea! 😉

    1. “I guess this sort of helps the people not to see the pianist’s legs. ”

      Now they just need one in front of the preacher’s face.

        1. Only if there were two people standing beside it, so he could lean on their heads.

    2. “What did he say? I couldn’t make anything out but that he wants people to get excited and “say amen right tar!” What for? Is he actually preaching something or just prancing around shouting with a hoarse sounding voice?”

      Don’t tell the fundy preacher that he might be speaking in tongues.

    3. I’m wondering why in fundie churches the piano is often enclosed with woodwork. Maybe the others are right–it’s so the multitudes cannot gaze on the pianist’s gams.

      The clip shows that the piano is dark-colored wood. Not white. Not true fundy.

    4. Excuse me for not posting it in all caps, like he was shouting:

      “Can I just jump up and down and tell you.. SOMEBODY ought to say SOMETHING [sumpin]… SOMEBODY ought to get stirred up… SOMEBODY ought to say something. We ought to get up out of our seat and SAY something for the glory of God. I believe [bleev] the story of God’s been abused… say Amen! right there [tare]… They’re belittling our God… but can I jump up and tell you He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. He’s not stepped [stamped] down… He’s still God… and besides Him there is none other. [Whew!] I say somebody ought to [outta] say something! Somebody ought to get stirred up. Somebody ought to have revival. We been done… the atheists and the agnostics [aznostiks] and the religious have quieted our spirit down, and we ain’t [hain’t] got no backbone… we said ‘Let them take our land’… we let them take our children. SOMEBODY! ought to say something. Somebody ought to say something about the abuse of the glory of God… say Amen right there [tare]. [Whew!] Can anybody help [hep] me say something?”

      There you go… an all it’s…. uh…. “glory”

      2. At “Let them take our land” this is the song I thought of:

        Take my love, take my land.
        Take me where I cannot stand.
        I don’t care, I’m still free.
        You can’t take the sky from me.

      3. Well, I was right. He didn’t say anything to beneficial to the Christian walk. What a moron.

        1. I once went to a “preacher’s meeting” where the man spoke for 45 MINUTES on the evil of women wearing pants. Not one woman in the place wearing pants, of course, and even back then I was thinking, “Couldn’t he have preached on something that would have been beneficial to his hearers, instead of riding a hobbyhorse?”

      4. “They’re belittling our God”

        I love (aka hate) this thinking.

        1 – does he really think God is diminished in some way because some people said some bad things about him? The Christian God, from what I can tell, is not diminished by mockery. In fact he subjects himself (or part of himself or whatever) to human mockery to the point of death.

        2. What he really means is that HIS (i.e. the preacher’s) systems are mocked by others and HIS own ego is challenged. his god is just a projection of himself after all. He’s just doing the same tribal wagon-circling that all archaic cultures do (see Girard for more).

    5. The panel or curtain across the piano is referred to as a “modesty panel”; usually, in IFB churches, the pianos are up on the platform, and most pianists in such churches are women, and are required to wear dresses, so the panel helps.

  12. This guy reminds me of a southern fundy preacher I knew when I was a child. His name was Joe Coley and his preaching was even more screamy and raspy than this guy. Back then I thought he was a great preacher. Now I realize he was just destroying his voice and not accomplishing much else. 🙁

  13. I saw one climb a pew and put his foot on the top of someones head. He did just like this guy did, eyes strait forward, never look at him or question why he did that or ask for an apology. Yup, he’s a good sheep.

    1. Wait a minute, sheep aren’t known for climbing up and down, it’s the mountain goa… uh-oh (runs and hides)

  14. I remember as a kid in fundy land being subjected to this style at nearly every camp meeting we sang at. Works for those that like to be shouted at and ridiculed instead of taught.

  16. I was hoping the video would go on further so that I could see if he sounded any better after taking that drink of water.

  17. What are these people like in their private lives? Do they shout at their families…the person behind the counter…the postal worker….do they insist on an AMEN from the pizza delivery guy before they let him leave?

    1. “I say now! Uh- give me some ten-cent-stamps-uh-rot-NOW-uh! Say a-men! Sumbuddy hep me here! Hep me buy these-ah here stamps-ah! Hallelujah! Say a-MEN!”

      “Sir, please get off the counter. There are other postal patrons waiting.”

    2. MOG: “Someone’s GAWT to BUHRING! AH AH say Some-ones GAWT to BUHRING me. AH SAY SOMEONES GAWT to BUHRING me a REYH-FILL — HAY-MEN?!??”

      Preacher’s Wife: “and a new salad, please, to replace the one he’s standing on, thank you.”

      1. I picture him in the Green Room, preparing himself before his performance, like Bette Midler’s “The Rose”, working his voice up to fever pitch. Southern Comfort?

  18. He sounds as if he has a serious respiratory infection…. made me want to cough just listening to him.

  21. Are you sure this isn’t charismatic? He looks like TBN personality Rod Parsley. No way is this guy Baptist let alone Fundamental!

    1. This man’s name is Donnie Dalton. The church is Mt. Verd Baptist Church in Athens, TN.

    2. I live in New York state and we used to get preachers like this all the time at the various revival meetings around the area. Definitely Baptist and most definitely fundamental.

    3. I have sat through many of IFB rantings. He is right up with the league. So yes, he is VERY IFB.

  22. These kind of crazy-talking antics made me nervous; I was always secretly afraid he would whip out a weapon and decide that he was appointed to take us all to heaven and shoot everyone present… he seems like he has lost every vestige of self-control… one of the listed fruit of the Spirit, if I recall correctly.

    1. I saw a guy by the name of Larry Brown from SC pull out a gun at a Southwide Baptist Fellowship meeting one time about a decade or so ago. I was a nervous wreck as he came across totally unstable. He was a raving lunatic and about half the people in the audience loved him and the other half about walked out. The SBF split a couple of years later and now don’t exist at all. Not that that’s a bad thing….

  23. I often suspected that this behavior was caused because he was finding the crowd hard to manipulate/control as he wills, so the “preacher” just gets louder and more seemingly out of control.

  25. Reminds me of a Regimental Sergeant Major I had in boot camp. Perhaps a little more scary. At least the RSM wasn’t screaming at you in the name of gid.

    1. That kind of motivation motivates me to stay out of IFB, It is part of what motivated me to get out.

  27. That was interesting. I played the clip at very low volume–enough to hear the sound of his voice, but not the words. He looked and sounded ANGRY. Also rather nuts.

    1. I think the “nuts” describes all of it.

      Anger can be rational or justified sometimes (anger at evil, for example).

      Nuts its just nuts.

  29. I didn’t watch, was there any mention of the Gospel at all?
    Was Jesus exalted or was his name merely used as a prop for the preachertainer’s benefit?
    Was Christ lifted up or was the preachertainer’s morality lifted up?
    Did any of the vain ramblings, shouting, sounding brass and clanging cymbals do anything to Exalt Christ, expound the Gospel or exhort Christians in patience and love?

    I have a pretty good idea what went on, but since I didn’t watch it I won’t “judge” this edition of, “Preacher’s Got Talent“

        2. Pretty much dead on. The “preacher” didn’t address his own greatness or morality in that clip. I think he said “they’re” belittlin’ our God”, and “takin’ our children”. Ended with “somebody help me say sumpin’ “, which sort of addressed himself.

          Over all, I’d give him a six or seven for entertainment value. I’ve seen and heard “better”, (louder and better pew runnin’) and might again one day just to remember the old days of thinking this was good preachin’.

          Then again, likely not.

    2. No mention of Jesus, the Gospel, faith, Christianity, God’s love, or even the Bible.

      Just “Sumbuddy aughta say sumfin! About the Glory of God! We let ’em take away our land and our childrens! Cain’t sumbuddy hep me to say sumfin?”

      1. Made me wonder what he wanted them to say. Lacking any real content, he doesn’t offer much in the way of script…

        1. He wants them to say, “Boy howdy, Preacher, that shore is some powerful preachin’ yore doin’ up that on that church pew today!
          Ah held mah breath wonderin’ if you were gonna fall off or not.”

    4. Actually you got it on the brass. This particular one was far more brassy than usual. He should be ready for his larynx transplant any day now.

    2. Yah, I have no idea what he’s talking about.
      “They took our land …” Is he channeling Sitting Bull?
      Or Yasir Arafat?

  31. One, I couldn’t understand the screaming. I had to turn it down.

    Two, it’s triggering and I can’t stand people like that anymore.

    Three, I’m amazed that anyone here can stand to listen to stuff like that, even if it’s only for a minute.

    Four, SFL really needs to come up with its own version of the Oscars for performance art under the guise of preaching. We can have a red carpet and music performed on a white pianer.

  32. Am I the only person who wanted to say, “Get off the table, Mabel, the dollar’s for the beer”?

    3. I’m either not as old as you, sir, or not in the same depraved circles. I’m guessing the former, LOL.

  33. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

    Try this in an ECUSA church and people will go quietly out, find your coat in your office, take your keys, check your desk for meds that might have unexpected side effects, station the biggest parishioners at all of the exits, and call the hospital for advice on dealing with somebody who has had a psychotic break.

    1. Absolutely, Jenny Islander. But the Episcopal Church has a very rigorous screening process, including a psychiatric exam in the early stages of the ordination process. It’s mandatory in all dioceses.

      Plus, behavior like this would be brought to the attention of the bishop, who would take immediate corrective action.

      Just for fun I sent this to the priest I work with, suggesting that he alter his preaching style. His response: “Ah, no.”

        3. Now *that’s* some good preaching. And at 18 minutes, just 1 minute over TED talk length. Refreshing, engaging, inspirational, and genuine.

  34. I had an epiphany–IFB screamo band. This guy is the frontman, we get Steven Anderson on guitar, Tony Hutson on bass, and Dave Young on drums. Their name would be “To the Glory of…”

    1. They would kill each other. One would try to top the other with performance. Those individuals are all crazy.

    2. And Dwight Smith on the Accordian

      “The Fightin’ Fundamentalists” coming soon to a tent revival near you

  35. I guess the silver lining could be that if he continues to scream like this for much longer his vocal cords will explode and he won’t be able to subject anyone to his ‘preaching’ any more.

    1. What would that talk sound like coming from a voice synthesizer, a la Stephen Hawking or late Roger Ebert?

  36. He honestly sounds like my beloved late great-grandfather, who had most of his voice destroyed in a dog attack as a young man. If my great-grandpa tried to yell, that is.

    1. Wow, what a horrible experience (being mauled by a dog, that is).
      Yet he lived long enough to have great-grandchildren, which is good.

      1. Yep. As a child, I was saddened by the fact that he didn’t like dogs. (I didn’t understand, obviously.)

        But really, this man is going to ruin his voice, if he hasn’t already….

        1. That’s probably the reincarnated Jack Hyles, if there’s anything to this karma theory.

  37. Bitter much? Some of you guys still sound like fundies. The difference is in what you are intolerant of. I have heard many styles of preaching over the years. Some yelled and some almost whispered and everything in between. Some I liked and some I didn’t. The ones I don’t like listening to, I avoid.

    1. There’s a difference between being intolerant of someone legitimately worshiping God in a style or cultural context which you are uncomfortable with (even though they are not defying Scripture in any way in doing so) and being intolerant of someone abusing the very name of God by their behavior.

      The first is what fundies do. It is sin.

      The second is what is going on here, for most of the posters, anyway. It is necessary.

      Please see Don’s comment above if you are unclear about why this performance is utterly unbiblical and God-dishonoring.

    2. “Bitter much? Some of you guys still sound like fundies. The difference is in what you are intolerant of.”

      I’m just bitter about people ending sentences with a preposition.

      1. Actually, most modern textbooks don’t have that rule anymore. However, I am all about personal liberty in the area of grammar, whether one follows the old paths or embraces the new-fangled modern ways! 😉

        2. I have certain grammar rules that my hoamskuld kids must follow. Other rules I think are dumb. For instance, one rule I insist on is the Oxford comma. One rule that I despise is the “am I not” that Beka books imposes. I’ll say “aren’t I” because “am I not” sounds stilted and pretentious. Who talks like that? I don’t think even Hyacinth does.

        6. I never cared much for “Waiting on God”. “Foyle’s War”, on the other hand is one of my all time favorite shows from either side of the pond. (Not Amy, the big wet blue one)

      2. Ha. I missed that one. I was more worried about my spelling. I have to ask my wife or use really small words

      3. If you don’t want to end sentences with prepositions, then the next time you’re getting ready to leave work, ask a co-worker, “clock me,” instead of “clock me out.”

        1. “That is arrant pedantry up with which I will not put!” (Unknown origin; falsely attributed to Winston Churchill)

    3. Yelling is one thing.
      If you can tell me one worthwhile thing he actually said in that clip, I’ll give him a pass on the yelling.

  38. Somebody said “black pentecostal.” HA ! I grew up in an ALL-WHITE pentecostal church and my people would have been perfectly at home with this guy…. If he had said, “Should a bought a Honda” or “Should a bought a Yamaha.” they would have been falling all over the place. Without those key phrases, of course, he’s suspect, of course. With those phrases, he’s in. Weirdo/molester/total idiot ???? no problem if he can just say a few syllables that NOBODY (except maybe his wife) understands.

  39. Oh, my! Did this ever bring back some memories! This guy could be a clone of my former pastor (who once almost made it to the last row running on the pew backs). There is definitely a branch of the southern IFB that borders on Pentecostal, though they would vehemently deny it. I’ve seen people run up and down the aisles, stand and scream like they were at a rock concert, pick up a chair and sling it… IMO, they think the crazier they act, the more “on fire for God” they are. It turns into a competition.

    1. That does sound Pentecostal or Charismatic.

      But then, my grandparents told me that in their youth, such antics were to be seen during revival meetings of even “mainstream” denominations like Presbyterians, Methodists, and Disciples.

  40. Many years ago when I came to my small Southern town, we were looking for an independent fundamentalist church. We visited a few of them, and were dissatisfied. Eventually we got from BJU a “recommended” church, which we attended. My wife and daughter still go there.

    But before we moved to the area, we visited a pastor of a church. He was nice. I wasn’t too impressed, but then this was a poor area of the state. And I was willing to give him and the church a chance.

    When we got to the church after our move, we were surprised to see that he wasn’t there! Evidently his affair with his secretary had been exposed, and he’d had a sudden departure. The church, in crisis, had quickly selected another pastor. This one was a pew jumper.

    He jumped the pews. He screamed. He screamed in people’s faces. He got up close and personal. His arms flailed about. The room was full of Amens and “Preach it, Brother!”

    Not from me and my wife! From a much more sedate background, I thought that such antics were unnecessary and I said so to my wife. Evidently, someone heard it, so when we went back that evening, the preacher was somewhat less animated, but said that “Some people don’t like [blah, blah, blah], but the Lord’s Spirit is at work here!”

    I told my wife that there certainly *was* a “spirit” at work there, but it wasn’t the Holy Spirit!

    The church has muddled on through many pastors. As far as I can tell it has never grown, and has never had an impact on the community.

        1. The head-grabbing-pew-climb was the moment of interest for me. The rest I’ve seen before. 🙂

        2. It’s pretty good, but it could be improved upon. He could arrange nine sturdy congregants into a human pyramid, then stand atop them to declaim his message. As a finale, he could dismount with a somersault, landing on one of those little trampolines that would catapult him over the first five rows of seats. He would then crowd-surf through the first three stanzas of “Are Ye Washed In The Blood Of The Lamb,” finishing with a barrel-roll out the side window.

      2. That poor kid. The “pastor” can’t even pronounce the word “Narrow” and the kid is beside himself trying to figure out what that lunatic is talking about…

        “Narrr’s the way…”

        2. Youze all can make out the words that guy spouts? You’re of stronger stuff than I, because I can’t stand to listen to him and I certainly don’t want to know what he says.

        3. Technically, they are words, but when he says them, they don’t actually mean anything.

    2. Just click anywhere on the full video and it is just like the clip above. But the 17:00 minute mark is real special. I feel so sorry for the kid.

      1. Wow. I just watched them in sync, and I learned that
        Donnie Dalton and the dog have exactly the same timing. The dog’s interval between barks is the same as Donnie’s interval between hand claps, or throwing his hands up, or howling, or climbing on something.
        Try it and you’ll see what I mean.

    1. Somebody should. Ol’ Donnie certainly didn’t.

      Maybe “Somebody oughta say somethin’ ” is a cry for help, because he has realized he doesn’t have anything to say, and doesn’t know how to say start sayin’ it himself…………

    1. PW: Your comment is hilarious! Wonder what was going through his mind at the time. Obviously he sits in front so he must be very intrenched in the church but I would have been thinking ” OMG, this is the last time I am ever coming to this place and the absolute last time I sit in the front pew of any church”. That’s just creepy weird.

  45. Only thing missing was the organ blaring in the background. This guy could pass as a charismatic. He’s definitely the Fundy version of Rod Parsley minus the charisma and personality.

  46. “Hacking” if i remember, comes from the coal miners of WV. Back in the day, because of the bad lungs from the mines, those coal miner turned preachers really preached this way. BUT, just like with anything popular, people saw that as God’s touch and tried to preach like it. I don’t mind it, I just want heavy Bible preaching in it.

  47. So, as I said, I can’t post in the forums for whatever reason so I’ll ask this here. Is anyone aware of how IFB’ers feel about freemasonry? Thanks.

    1. Do you have an account set up on the forums? If you do, message Darrell. Posting here doesn’t automatically grant you posting privileges on the forums.

    2. Is this a for real Q, btw? Free Masons are just another form of devil worship as far as IFB is concerned.

      1. Yes a for real question. Here’s why. For whatever reason I like to go to John Hamblin’s website and see “what he’s up to”. Under 2014 pictures he and Shelton Smith (as most probably know are two ‘high ups’ in IFB) are standing at the grave of Homer Rodeheaver. First, I don’t know what the draw is to getting their picture taken at someone’s grave, but at least Hamblin seems to do this alot (you can check out his website evangelistjohnnhamblin.com to verify). But anyhow, I didn’t know who Homer Rodeheaver was so I googled him. He was Billy Sunday’s music leader (maybe that’s enough said) but he was also a third degree Mason, Knights Templar and was also a Shriner. Soooo, why post a picture at someone’s grave (and I could stop there) of who belonged to a ‘secret society’ that you are completely against?

        1. BJU had a building named after a high up Klan member, iirc.

          Here’s the deal: If you supported someone we like, then it doesn’t matter what else you did. There are rules for some people that don’t apply to others.

          For example, most divorced people in IFB churches are treated like second class citizens. It’s normally preached that divorce disqualifies one from a pastoring position.

          Mark Chappell was divorced after allegedly admitting to sexually abusing minors to his church, and just remarried and went to another church and got to be pastor there.

          David Hyles was youth leader at daddy’s church where he allegedly sexually abused multiple teens, as well as having affairs, and appearing in an adult magazine in an advertisement for swinging couples. His wife divorced him and Daddy sent him away, and he lived with his defacto partner for some time before marrying her. During this time he became the sole murder suspect in the death of her young son from a previous marriage, and his own son with her was tragically killed when she ran over him. He is back on the IFB preaching circuit.

          As far as the IFB is concerned, if you’re in the right group then it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, you’re leadership/worship material. And if you’re not in the right group, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done; you’ll never be good enough.

        2. Also, by all means, make an account over at the forums. I think that each request has to be accepted manually because we had a lot of spammers, so if it seems to be taking a while post a message in the shoutbox, that seems to work. Then post a comment in the Meet and Greet thread.

          Welcome 🙂

        3. Fundies glom onto whatever facts are convenient at the moment, and discard the inconvenient ones and hope you don’t notice. They’ve selected to portray him as related to Billy Sunday and pretend he’s not related to the Mason’s in any way. They honestly probably don’t even know, really. Part of the problem of denying the complexities of humanity is that you get walloped regularly when you accidentally stumble on to reality of who a person is.

    3. FWIW, in my fundy school library I do recall a book about one man’s stint in the Masons, and all the supposed dark doings there. Of course that was over thirty years ago so my memory’s hazy. I think it was in the same vein (maybe by the same guy) as “Thirty Years A Watchtower Slave”, about the Jehovah Witnesses.

  49. “He jests at scars who never felt a wound.”

    Some at SI might not see the need for SFL because they’ve not left their churches and felt alone and confused and in need of support. But there are people who have and who do need this community.

    I don’t need the handicapped spaces in parking lots but I’m glad they’re there for those who need them. (That might not be the best metaphor, but it’s been a long day and I’m tired.)

    1. And I meant for this to be on the OTHER thread – LOL.

      George REALLY got me this time!

  50. Dear Christian Post Reader:

    I must be particularly unsanctified today. Since watching that video [big mistake], I got this idea and it just won’t quit. I imagined the guy firmly grasping the preacher’s genitalia in one hand and with the other, giving his family jewels a resounding, church-wide audible ‘THWAP’ with a hymnal.

    Last time he’ll try THAT act!

    Christian Socialist

      1. Dear Semp:

        Took a break, death in the family, travel, and some health issues. Plus, I sometimes back away from activities so they stay fresher — like me. Blessings!

        Christian Socialist

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