100 thoughts on “Fundy Tweet of the Week: Preaching Defined”

  4. As written, in the second tweet, it’s the Bible that’s soon to be 100 years old. While this is perfectly plausible, I suspect it’s not the intent.

  5. I liked the second tweet about bible signing. I had never seen Grandpa Simpson from that angle.

  6. Hey, at least it’s better than Hyles’ definition of preaching.

    Also, I can’t see the second tweet (twitter is blocked), can someone clue me in? Thanks.

    1. “Dr. Louis Arnold signin my bible, soon to be 100 yrs old. He will celebrate by PREACHIN at Clays Mill Road Baptist!” (Original spelling preserved.)

      I don’t know who Dr. Arnold is.

      1. uhh huh… So what’s almost 100? The man or the Bible?

        Also, can I say just how frustrating it is that these people will capitalize names of “preachers” or their local church or w/e yet not capitalize Bible. Shows were their authority really is I guess.

        1. LOL! He means the man Dr. Arnold (the pic implies that anyway). Obviously he wrote that his Bible is about to be 100 yo.

  7. From the second tweet pic, Can someone tell me why anyone would have a preacher sign a Bible? This is beyond my experience. I have never seen anyone have their Bible signed. Nor have I ever been tempted to have my Bible signed by a preacher. I don’t understand.

    1. I think it’s a huge thing in Hyles circles although others have done it. After a big name pastor preaches at a church revival or in chapel, the minions line up to get him to sign their Bible.

      My dad instilled in me a strong old-fashioned Yankee independence. He disliked pastors who expected to be treated like celebrities.

      1. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep… never liked the practice of signing Bibles, and the dislike has grown stronger in more recent years.

    2. Cult of celebrity. I have a bible somewhere around here that has plenty of preacher signatures. I think it’s in the attic. As a budding young preacherboy, these men were my heroes. But you’re right, it really makes no sense at all!

    3. My original KJV is red. It is 50 years old, and I had John R. Rice sign it. I’m thinking about putting it on eBay to see if some fundy won’t bid a fortune for it.

      1. Thank you pw, nico, and bjg–
        So the fundies worship two idols–the KJV and celebrity preachers. Which makes sense they would have the idol sign the idol, I guess.

        1. Leanne,
          I think they have more than two idols. KJV, Celebrity Preachers, Culottes(spelling?), Music w/o a beat, communal grape juice, honorary doctorates, broken down school busses, and big marquee signs with AV 1611 or KJV 1611 inscribed upon them.

    4. Something else going on is when one big name preacher (in his own mind anyway) bows and scrapes before another big name preacher, this allows him to show mock humility which appeals to his sheeple while at the same time winning deference points with a fellow egomaniac. The fundy preacher I grew up with did this all the time.

  8. But…NOBODY can look sharp while doing that.

    With the exception of Malcolm Tucker from The Thick Of It.

  9. I think looking sharp to them means an expensive suit, shiny (and expensive shoes), and a fancy handkerchief meticulously folded into three or four points.

    It doesn’t mean exercising and taking care of one’s body.

    1. It’s also not a really handkerchief meticulously folded.. it’s the cheap ready made insert that looks like a meticulously folder pocket square.

      Cheap and silly imitation in dress, a good reflection of their “preachin” I think.

  10. I’m sure Hamblin was trying to be funny, but truth often underlies humor. And the truth is, why is the where is the message? Is preaching nothing but style, completely empty of substance? Is the form more important than the content?

    1. substance and well ordered thoughts have never been strong points for the fundamentalist pastors I have heard.
      Simply yell about the hot topic issues–throwing in some spit and sweat makes you look like you are passionate and dedicated to getting this truth out.
      Well crafted sermons are not a fundamentalist’s strong point in my experience.

      1. My late father was an IFB pastor for many years. In one unguarded moment, during sermon preparation, he put down his pen, grinned and said, “I’m making a margin note: ‘Point weak here. Yell like hell!'”

        True story. RIP, Dad.

        2. Usually screaming and vain repetition are used in place of preparation; The louder and longer you scream is inversely proportional to the amount of time you actually studied.

          I think I’ll call this “Hyles’ Theorem of Fundy Sermon Preparation.”

      2. I guess they don’t realize that those educated with a classic education and/or students of the humanities have a sincere skepticism about “passionate” anything. It may be a platonic idea, but passion is more often the source of error than otherwise. It is not to be trusted.

    2. This says quite a bit about “Dr” Hamblin’s “preaching” — it’s been analyzed on here before. He prefers alliteration to substance.

  11. Since he fails to mention any member of the Trinity or the Bible, he might as well be a motivational speaker (Matt Foley anyone?)

  12. When I first glanced at the tweet I thought it said “spitting, swearing, and screaming” 😯

    2. Ha! When I read the runner-up tweet (it was just a quick skim, I generally read fairly well!),I thought it said Louis Armstrong. Now that would be pretty cool.

      1. BJg,

        Sadly, in some circles it seems if you ain’t screechin’ you ain’t preachin’.

  13. It’s so nice to be able to relive my emotionally scarring, verbally abusive childhood through these jokers. Who says you can’t go home again?

  15. It’s all about stylin’ & profilin’!

    Really though it’s sad how some people really believe preaching = verbal abuse = Holy Spirit moving. Sort of seems a bit flagellistic to me.

      1. Sansabelts are awseome! Thanks for the word “slacks” Usually that was what was preached against at my church: “Women in slacks” (not jeans, or pants, but slacks). Now it conjures up images of grannies in double knit who keep their Virginia Slims in a coin purse type cigarette pouch that has a spot for their Bic on the side 😎

        1. It must be the mark of a more high-falutin’ Fundy church to preach against “women in slacks” rather than “wimmin in britches.” 😛

        2. Yeah, not toot my horn of association, but we were kind of a big deal in the IFB. 😆

    2. Note the disturbing use of the phrase “he really ripped our faces off” said with glee by certain church members after a particularly fierce sermon.

      I was shocked the first time I heard someone use that expression. While I heard screamers now and then, thankfully the spitting, sweating, screaming type was not what I was used to.

        1. Re: “he really ripped our faces off.” Yes, many fundies are simply masochists.

          Re: “more reserved and decorous legalism.” In some ways, this is the most poisonous kind.

        2. I remember seeing a promo from the Bible college I went to in the form of a student testimony. He talked about one professor humiliating him in front of a class for talking, when the student was simply asking to copy a lecture point that he had missed. The student said something like, “I never knew how much he loved me until that day.” It’s not just masochism, sometimes it’s spiritual Stockholm syndrome!

  16. “Spitting, sweating, and screaming.”

    Is saying something optional, or is it forbidden?

    1. I was thinking this would qualify porn as IFB “preaching”. 😯 Handy definition, that! 🙄

  19. I was successful in eschew the spitting by avoiding the sitting in the front pew. But tarrying at the altar was not effective in parrying the saliva shower. Worse (for ladies) was the preachers and deacons who gently pushed me over at the altar to look up my dress.

    1. Sister, was that at an IFB church or at a charismatic church? I’ve seen that done at charismatic churches. When a person comes to the altar for prayer, the pastor will often pray over them, then gently (hopefully) apply palm pressure to the person’s forehead, and they fall backwards. A “catcher” (hopefully) helps them down, normally without injury. When I saw this, they would immediately toss a blanket over the lady’s legs to prevent voyeurism.

      1. In Pentecostal churches, they sometimes keep a special supply of cloths by the altar rail to drape over the lower sections of ladies who have been overcome by the Spirit.

      2. Yup. I had that happen once. Preacher put his hands on my head, started prayin’, and gave me a shove. Instinctively, I took a step back to regain my balance. I looked up at him, only to see an absolutely murderous look. Clearly he’d meant to shove me over, and by resisting, I was in rebellion. It certainly wasn’t the Spirit moving!

        Wasn’t long after that that I was thinking about leaving.

  21. Our pastor was fond of saying really tasteful things like: “Just because we’re Baptists doesn’t mean we don’t sprinkle! It just happens during the preaching, amen??”

  22. These celebrity Bible signings really annoyed me when I had to play a postlude, since the line of sycophants blocked my exit from the piano. Knowing that no one was listening to the music anyway, I usually selected the most appropriate song for the occasion — “You’re So Vain”. 🙂

  23. It would be interesting if everyone listed their definition of preaching. I am sure it would be very enlightening. I don’t know Mr. Hamblin, but this attitude shows everything that I hate about the IFB.

    1. Preaching = nap time.

      Few things are more painfully boring than having to sit for 30-45+ minutes to hear someone expound on what they do not know. While I haven’t been to church in almost 2 yrs., I will say this is one thing I admire about the Orthodox service. Preaching takes a back seat to prayers and the Eucharist. Usually only 10-15 minutes, though there are some priests (usually converts) who feel the need to amaze the parishioners with their immense knowledge of The Unknowable.

  24. I already gave my definition: saying something.
    Preferably something about God, the Bible, the spiritual life, Jesus, and related topics, but at a minimum, saying something.

  26. I’m in the parking lot reading people ripping face while my pastor is ripping face.

    One behind the ”sacred desk” and the other on a web page. Another Pleasant Valley Fundy face rippin.

    –Here’s to the “””””””Lords Day””””””

  27. 😯

    I thought this was a joke!

    I am trying to imagine the Apostle Paul up on Mars Hill, a-spittin’ and a-screamin’ and a-flailin’ and a-sayin’ personal things. Doesn’t anyone in these churches that claim to be the only ones to really read the Bible ever notice that Jesus kept telling His disciples to back off and simmer down?

  28. Ok, I got this song stuck in my head with the lyrics

    ♫ I like the old time preaching , spittin’, sweatin’, screamin’
    I like the old time mis-readin’ of God’s word
    I like to hear that old time, hallelujah, glory!
    I like the old time worship of the Lord ♫

    http://youtu.be/N9np8Dm1aW0

    1. Mercy. I can’t believe I listened to the whole thang. Pass the fried chicken’, Mabel dear.

      1. This as a fever induced posting. Fighting what seems to be the flu so I am not responsible for the content of my replies this week. I’m letting george post for me until the fever breaks. 😯 😉

    4. They sound so excited. In a weird way, I love these clips. My husband never heard of fundies until he met me and this shows him what I can not put into words. 🙄

  29. I am glad my camp never got into the whole Bible signing thing. It would have just added to the “Things that make me crazy” list. As to this, why do people even enjoy that? Even if the speaker is being facetious, I don’t understand why people would want to be spit on and yelled at while the looked at a sweaty man in a “fancy” suit.

    I used to think preachers had an idea, but once I got to be about 10 it just seemed to me that every week it was topics that are just common sense (or a total, complete, IFB lack thereof).

  30. Basically, this guy is saying that “Dr” Hamblin has no right to call himself a preacher.

  31. Dear Caleb Shirley:

    This sounds like soccer fans in Columbia.

    Christian Socialist

  32. Sadly, there seems to be no shortage of people who think they are being spiritual by being spat upon, offended by, and screamed at by the self-appointed pulpit master. And these pulpit masters are well aware of this.

      1. In fact, sometimes the visiting, uh, “preacher” even makes a statement to that effect: “This is quite a church — not just any church could take preaching like this”

  33. If this is how IFB folks define preaching, I don’t even want to see what they define the sacraments as. /shudder

    1. They don’t do sacraments. Baptism and communion are ordinances. “Sacrament” is something they condemn the Catholics for.

      1. Right, because if Rome does it, it must necessarily be evil, yes? I wonder if they’ve ever heard the phrase “throwing the baby out with the bathwater”?

  34. I believe Paul wrote to the Church of Corinth about these types of charlatans. Coming into various towns in order to be idolized.
    I am aware some of you don’t like Paul’s position regarding homosexuality and women-folk, but perhaps he wins points when it comes to how he feels about Hamblin-types.

  35. I said to my husband while reading the comments, “There are some seriously funny people here.”
    His response, “Well you’d have to be to make it out of there alive.”
    So true. So true. 😕

  38. Admittedly there are “fundies” that have a coloqueal view on preaching. Yet at its core, preaching is to stir the heart, convict of sin, and draw one closer to God. 🙂

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