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Comparing Themselves Among Themselves

95 Comments

This is just a really strange video from start to finish. This guy apparently makes videos of himself reading randomly underlined fundamentalist newsletters with unintentional hilarity as a result.

95 thoughts on “Comparing Themselves Among Themselves”

  3. His poor wife has to keep going out into the rain to fix a sign on the back of their car? Also, dead air!!! You can’t have dead air on a video, unless it’s an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

    1. I’m thinking recording himself practicing reading must be his homework assignment for an adult literacy program.

      Doing it in his car, and posting the result to YouTube, were probably his own innovations.

    1. You’ve got to admit it’s a nice touch to feature an article blasting CCM, and then end the video with recorded CCM music.

  8. I wouldn’t base an article written about the church’s CCM choices as meaning the editors of the paper don’t care about the child abuse cover up. It may very well be true, but base it in objective evidence and not conjecture from an unrelated topic.

    1. That’s the kind of comment I’d expect from a neocalvinist like yourself. It explains why CJ Mahaney and SGM are still being promoted in your circles, as well as the men who defend them like Al Mohler, DA Carson, Kevin DeYoung, et al.

  9. I’ve posted this quote before but this is deserving of an encore: Dear IFB member, “what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

    That’s nine minutes of my life I would love to get back. javascript:grin(‘:grin:’)

  10. The great news is that he has seemingly produced dozens and dozens of these videos on his youtube page. Thank God for this dear brother and his ministry… smh.

  11. This was painful. I was being gracious until the pronunciation of “debut.” Someone who uses the word “vexed” a lot should know how to say “debut” and also avoid calling Messer MeRcer.

    Regardless of free speech, please tell me what would possess a person to take the time to do something like this and for what purpose! Mind numbing!

    1. GET THIS MAN TO THE ER, STAT.
      He’s obviously having a stroke, since it’s clear something is blocking the flow of oxygen to his brain.

    2. Not to mention the poetry of “Gerald Manley Hopkins.”
      Oy vey.

      (That wasn’t poor reading; the name was like that in the Fundamental Digest or whatever that paragon of journalism is called.)

  12. “Oh, my eyeballs..” He said it. I didn’t get past that because it was too true. And why are you filming in your car while CCM is playing in the background? Well, it may not have been CCM but still the …um, I’m not sure what to call this fruitcakery but really if I really needed something pathetic to laugh at this would be it.

    Oh, and LAST!

    2. in my fundyland that music would have been considered worldly. Too much sliding, middle eastern chord progression, and canned accompaniment.

  13. There is something about this guy’s attitude that really drives me up a wall. I have witnessed this type of behavior before from fundies (as I am sure most of you have also). It’s like a “of course what I am saying/reading/quoting is absolute truth” type of vibe. Anything that references Catholics was a sure-fire way of seeing this firsthand.

    I remember when Tim Russert from Meet The Press passed away. Tim was from my hometown of Buffalo (go Bills). I was in a fundy church at the time but near my end. Everyone in Buffalo liked Tim. He was “one of us”. Worked his way up from the blue collar town and made the big time. Everyone that is except for the fundies. Since he was Catholic he was not worth mentioning other than to state that he was on his way to hell and (if I recall correcly) none of the saints he prayed to can help him now. The attitude exhibited was one of the last straws for me.

    1. I guess it’s sinful of me, but I’m a lot more “vexed” at, for example, the people who just poisoned West Virginia’s water supply than at the existence of good men and women who happen to be Catholics.

      1. Dear B.G., Please let business be business. The last thing we need is more guvment regulations. If God didn’t want them chemicals in that water he wouldn’t have made ’em.

        1. Someone did point out the other day that West Virginia has voted for the “anti-regulation” party for the last four presidential elections, and now it can’t drink its own water. There is something fair about that, in a way.

          By the way, the tank that ruptured was last inspected in 1991.

        2. B.G., It’s a shame that governmental regulations, inspections, etc, have often fallen victim to the budget axe in these red states. I know, I live in a red state and am amazed that lack of govt regulation is seen as an engine of economic development. It’s playing roulette with the environment (=our drinking water). “Greenies” are sneered at in my state. I proudly wear that label.

        3. We will NEVER regulate out of existence ALL industrial accidents, or accidents of any kind. So being “mad” at anyone is pretty useless, unless one could determine it was done with malicious intent!

        5. Also, why did it seem like a good idea to put a toxic chemical storage plant right on the river, just upstream from the water treatment plant for the biggest city in the state?

      2. The children who live in the affected area in my state of West Virginia had no say in any election. Tell them there is something fair about not having fresh water in which to bathe or drink. Yes, I’m pretty darn vexed, myself! Oh, but those Catholics and CCM music! Dangerous! 🙄

        1. But the children’s parents had a “say” in where they chose to live.

          Folks, accidents HAPPEN! I’ll never forget an accident that happened at the catholic church right beside our police dept. A lady backed over and killed her 3 yr old son, it tore me up. Maybe her van should have been outfitted with sensors that told her that one of her seven children weren’t in the van! We can play this blame game all day. Accidents will always happen, and unfortuantely folks will be killed and hurt, regardless of the amount of govt regulation (intrusion) there is.

  14. So, the guy who publishes the Fundy rag’s buddy got canned from this church, and this article was the good ol’ boys network getting some revenge.

    Having now done the proper research, Audrey Assad’s music is much less “contemporary” sounding than the music playing in this guy’s car. And it is much higher quality of both writing and performance. I am going to introduce my singer-songwriter daughter to her music as she seems like a very good musical and vocal role model.

    Unbelievable how much ignorance is on display in this video and in the article.

    I recently congratulated a friend whose church was featured in the Sword of the Lord (negatively) – I told him it was a badge of honor.

    3. WOW. I did NOT need to see that. Ow, my eyeballs, indeed. But I guess long johns are a good idea if you’re going to be sitting in your car at 6:59 am when it’s 26 degrees out.

      APOCALYPSE!
      The obscure purpose of these videos is finally revealed from about 12:35 on.

      He finishes reading yet another ancient hymn, then says, “Boy, I don’t know how many more of these I can take!” Feel free to stop any time, brother.

      Then he yells at a passerby. Something like, “PRETTY MUCH!” or “PRETTY BUTCH!”, maybe “PETTY DUTCH!”

      Then he executes a beautiful cinematic pan to an artfully rain-smeared window revealing the long-hidden evangelistic goal–a gas station across the street. He says, “These people can hear this music, ya see. As they’re pumping gas it gives them hope [pregnant pause] where there is no hope. The Lord builds them up, unless they have the Lord. Anyway…”

      1. … So that all makes sense to you, That Micheal? 😯

        His shout-out sounds to me like “Morning bollocks!” but I’m not sure.

      2. “I guess long johns are a good idea if you’re going to be sitting in your car WITHOUT TROUSERS OR SHOES at 6:59 am when it’s 26 degrees out.”

        There, I fixed it for you. 😛

        The more I think about it, more I think maybe this guy really does live in his car. That makes it less funny, somehow.

      3. He said “Morning Butch !” As in ‘Good morning’ to a guy called ‘butch’.
        And then you see a guy walking by, waving his arm in the air.

  17. So what is this guy’s point? I couldn’t figure out why he was doing this. Why not put up a website with this text on it and let people read it themselves? Weird as a three-dollar bill…

  18. Why is he sitting in a vehicle to read this? Why does he have music on? If he’s got nothing to say after reading it, why does the video go on for several more minutes? What publication was he reading from?

    I muted it toward the end of the reading only to discover when he finished reading that he had nothing to say about it. I’m not sure what he said for the remaining four or so minutes.

    2. I was wondering that myself. Considering the signs on the ground and that the missus had to get out and take care of the whatever kept falling down at the back of the car, my guess would be they were doing some form of “evangelism” by putting out the odd Bible signs that are probably prohibited by city ordinance but they justify by being right there in the car.

      Maybe the church feels they have to post a “personal worker” there by the signs in case someone comes under conviction?

  19. Where is he? Is he out in front of TBC, or his church? What church does he go to? I don’t have time to find out on my own. I’d like someone to do all the work for me!

    If this information is embeded in a previous post, please direct me to it. If no one chooses to direct me thus, I shall therewith assume that nobody cares in the manner that I don’t care.

    1. He’s in some fairly cold, snowy place, as is evident both from the view out the windshield and from the fact that he prefaces his reading by announcing the temperature for no reason at all.

      Why is he doing this from a car on the street?
      My guess is that his housemates got tired of it and told him to go outside.

  22. Favorite moments:

    Freudian slip: “Calvicism, uh, Catholicism”

    “Saint ‘AU-gus-teen” Saint au-‘GUS-tin was an important theologian. Saint ‘AU-gus-teen is a city in Florida.

    (sound of small explosion) “Oh, gee.” (Use of the “gee” euphemism betrays that this is no true lifelong fundamentalist. He drank the Koolaid later in life, which may be why he’s doing a credible job of acting like the F.D. is newly found top-notch journalism.) Followed by …
    “Oh, my stomach. My stomach growling.” (Yeah, I don’t think that was your stomach, buddy.)
    “I recommend you getting the Fundamental Digest.” (If that’s what it does to your digest, I’m pretty sure I don’t want it.)

  23. I couldn’t make it 2 minutes. I was reading ahead of him & got the gist in 30 seconds.

    This man did nothing to improve Fundy cred.

  25. I’m very baffled by this whole video. I can’t get my head around why anyone would record this, what the purpose of doing it in a car was, what the story around the 2ish minutes of various bodily function sounds were, etc.

    I’m assuming whatever rag he’s reading from has a copyright of some sort and isn’t licensed for him to read in it’s entirety with no apparently commentary or purpose? I don’t know the song at the end of the video, I have to assume that’s more copyright infringement?

    It’s simultaneously both hard to imagine this as some sort of earnest effort to communicate much of anything, and to imagine how it would be satirical or mockery.

    I’m very confused.

    2. In my experience most fundies don’t believe copyright laws apply to them or the church.

  26. The thing that gets me is they claim to be “Independant” yet they must condemn all others for not believing and practicing in the same manner. If you are truly independant then you shouldn’t care about what anyone else is doing in their “independant” church.

    1. If fundies didn’t condemn others then their sermons would only last 15 minutes. Unless they decided to actually preach the Bible.

      1. That 15 minutes would include: the Announcements, opening prayer, two congregational songs, a choir song and or a “special”, the offering and a benediction correct? 😉

    1. Yes, it was one of the relatively few words he got right.

      Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

  30. Huh. According to the article he (very painfully) read, Assad came to the Church through the pull of the Sacrament. Same thing with me!

    1. I don’t really get what problem they have with this young woman who is obviously a devout Christian and spends her time playing and singing religious music, but then I’m not a Fundy.

      1. Oh, BG, there are three problems with this woman.

        1) She’s a woman. Automatically wrong.
        2) She’s a Catholic. Automatically wrong.
        3) She’s playing CCM. Automatically wrong.

        If she were a man (a white man, of course), IFB, playing old-fashioned hymns the old-fashioned way, she’d be perfect.

    1. There seem to be a lot of quotation marks thrown around randomly on that page.

      It vexes me that quotation marks are so widely abused, but I don’t know what to do about it.
      Maybe I’ll get in my car and make some pre-dawn videos about my vexation.

  32. Dear SFL Reader:

    I have no proof of this, but I’m absolutely convinced that anyone with the name ‘Assad’ HAS to be a secret Muslim. This proves that there is no difference between Catholics and Muslims.

    I speak as a fool …

    Blessings!

    Christian Socialist

  33. Well, that was disturbing. Really disturbing.

    Didn’t he ever think to start the video over? Did he even look at it before he posted it?

    And to think, all this call of compromise and near apostasy over contemporary Christian music!

  34. His Christian school must not have offered Abeka phonics and reading …or maybe he went to public school 👿 👿 👿

  35. One problem (among many) with born again Christians is that they believe once they have said “The Prayer” they have a direct access to the mind on god. Like Neo in “The Matrix” the knowledge of the universe has been magically downloaded into their brains. So every thought, action, belief or desire comes directly from god. They seem to lack any Impulse control. There is no rational voice in this man head saying, “There are some two billion Christians in the world, and yet the only two people who have it figured out are videotaping themselves sitting in a car reading some self published fundie rang. And yes those road side signs printed in Kinko’s are the most effective tool of soul winning since the KJB 1611”

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