174 thoughts on “Fundy Tweet of the Day: Pedigrees”

    1. Woohoo! (does chicken dance around living room while squawking First First First!)

      I would like to thank my family and friends who have supported me in my quest for a first. I would especially like to thank my pet kangaroo, Skippy. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you Skippy.

  5. Can one do spiritual genome sequencing? How do you measure spiritual DNA?

  7. Let me see…where did I drop that name again? I can’t seem to find where I left it. 🙄

  9. Proof that Fundamentalism’s MOG/Hero worship is alive and well!

    Giving thanks for a ‘spiritual’ DNA connection with Fundie heroes of the past, rather than focusing on the infinitely more important ‘spiritual’ regeneration into a child of the KING of KINGS, and LORD of LORDS, is what Dr. Hamblin deemed important to tweet to all his fundie followers?

    Not surprised in the least!

  10. I take pride in not knowing who any of those people are.

    It’s probably safe to assume that they’re all raging assholes.

    1. His name should read ::clears throat:: –

      Dr. John N Hamblin PhD, MDiv, JFN, GBV, TMSr, OG, MOG Extraordinaire

  12. I saw J Frank Norris and Tom Malone in the thumbnail and knew exactly who tweeted that lol

    What exactly is spiritual DNA? I’m saved and on my way to heaven, guess that means I have their DNA too 😛

  13. Spiritual DNA of J. Frank Norris?

    Does that mean he shoots people and is a serial adulterer?

      1. J. Frank Norris seized the stage mic at the 1925 Southern Baptist Convention and accused them all of being Communist sympathizers. He felt that the 1925 Baptist Faith and Message was too liberal a creedal statement. 🙄 He goes down in history of being one of the few men, perhaps the only man, to be forcibly removed from the platform of the SBC Annual Meeting.

    2. Ummm… where do you get serial adulterer from? Never heard that JFN was guilty of this.

      1. It looks like someone was reading on the Web and misunderstood a story about Norris, where the term “serial adulterer” was used. I agree that the sources I can find don’t have anything about Norris being an adulterer. He did use another man’s adulterous affair to apply political pressure, however.

      2. My mind may well be playing tricks on me, but I believe I have read in a couple places that Norris was, at the very least, suspected of multiple affairs with women in the church he pastored in Detroit.

        A brief Google search hasn’t turned up anything so perhaps I am conflating two different men.

    1. Yes, that’s it exactly.

      Now, as in Jesus’ day, idolatry is the one big problem.

  16. Is the DNA designation similar to the “received the mantle of” designation? I think I may be a generation behind in my terminology.

  18. I wonder why he explained the G.B. Vick reference but not the other 3. I’ve never heard of John Hamblin (is he a PCC guy? I went to Crown and HAC so I know different spheres).

    Maybe he assumed we would know his relation to Norris, Greene, and Malone?

      1. I haven’t gotten squat from PCC since I posted my real name and student ID number on the Student Voice. Can’t say that I miss the junk mail.

    2. Tom Malone Sr. of the now nearly non-existent Midwestern Baptist College – http://www.midwesternbaptistcollege.net/

      Hamblin is from Detroit isn’t he? This school is a little north of there – I believe it used to be quite influential in a particular sphere of crazies.

      1. Yeah, he’s from Detroit. I *believe* he graduated from the same Baptist school in the metro Detroit area as me, though it would’ve been quite a few years before me.

        1. “Graduated” might not be the right word. More like “got a diploma”. I very highly doubt he took many classes. This school is known for giving credits for “life experience”.

        2. You know, given then nature of the degrees granted by these schools- especially the ‘doctorates’- it occurs to me that the attitudes of fundystan to modern academia are related to this. If you can ‘earn’ most of an advanced degree through CFLP or a couple of weekend seminars, you’re less likely to think of someone else’s advanced degree as having any worth.

      2. Now that I’m free from the prison that is NVBS and its parent church NVBC I can honestly say I hope this guy gets to speak at chapel there or even at Golden State Baptist and someone points a laser at him. Triebor would think it was me all along. He doesn’t miss me one bit 😀 😆

  19. His name should read ::clears throat:: –

    Dr. John N Hamblin PhD, MDiv, JFN, GBV, TMSr, OG, MOG Extraordinaire

  21. I’m not even a Christian, but according to that whole Fall of Man thing, don’t we all have Adam & Eve’s spiritual DNA?

    2. “You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve,” said Aslan. “And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content.”

  22. I Cor. 3:4 For while one saith, I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are ye not carnal?

    5 Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man?

    7. Surely you understand that the bible only applies to the douchebags in the pews. The MOGs can’t be expected to look legalistic, right?

    1. Dear Dr. Fundystan, Proctologist:

      Ooooh! That was cutting. Funny also! Thanx!

      Christian Socialist

  24. Just looked at this guy’s website, –what a piece of work!! He really does like himself, and it is all about him after all.

        1. Heh. I thought about working in a Maury reference, but opted for brevity.

    2. Something they made up to sound like the know about biology/ anthropology.

      But it backfired; showing up their stupidity.

  26. The only “spiritual DNA” that any Christian possesses is that of Jesus Christ our Savior and elder brother. Anything else is mere idolatry and cannot keep a soul from either hell or sin.

    1. Fortunately there’s no such thing as “spiritual DNA”. It’s merely a metaphor, which will be used by all and sundry to justify whatever vague or nonsensical trivia they chose.

    2. So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

      Galatians 3:26-29

  27. But does he know that he has the spirit animal of a jackass and a hyena

  30. Polishing the tombs of the fathers, looks like. After checking out the fellow’s website, I find it difficult to imagine the apostle Paul tooting his own horn like that, or distributing fliers aimed at self promotion. Instead I read in Acts, “Serving the Lord with all humility of mind…” Methinks humility is a foreign concept to many self-promoting preachers, evangelists, missionaries, and modern day Christian celebs.

    2. “But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.”

      Galatians 6:14 (KJV)

      1. Great verse here; I suspect that (sadly) many IFB preachers have this verse memorized, but don’t practice it.

    3. NOT limited to fundies (depending on how broad your definition is). Actions matter. You can say you are humble until the cows come home, but that doesn’t make it so. I am reminded of a certain book, promoted by a certain celeb at a certain mega-gathering of calvinist leaning celebs. It just isn’t humble. No matter what you call it (HUG, if you’re out there, this would be a good place to post a 1984 quote).

  31. Dear SFL Reader:

    17 tweets yesterday alone. How spiritual can someone be who spends this much time surfing cyberspace …

    Christian Socialist

    1. Thanks for making this point. My super spiritual (in her own eyes) fundy mother is also an internet addict. She usually wakes up around 10 or 11 am and gets on the computer from then until about 2 or 3 am the next morning. Pretty much non stop. Instead of being a “homemaker and home school mom” as her facebook profile boasts, she spends literally all day “researching” and posting and re-posting extreme right wing and fundy propaganda. She’s even had people call her out before (e.g., she will put some long post about why homeschooling is the ONLY biblical way to educate kids, and people will ask her why she is on the Internet instead of schooling her kids!) but she blithly ignores those who would persecute her for righteousness sake (“if they persecuted Sarah Palin, they shall persecute you as well”).

      1. That reminds me of “The Middle” episode the other night. I hope your mother can break that cycle.

        1. Nah, the kids prefer for her to be on the computer all day rather than screaming at them and doling out beatings with her “rods” made out of plastic pipe.

      2. I’m sorry for what you suffered, D.S. I’d wager you’re an awesome father because of it.

      1. I looked up his website, and was surprised to discover that we’re the same age. Mind you, he looks 60-65. I do not. Maybe it’s the years in a slimy job that make him look that way?

        And his wife looks like a miserable little poodle. Almost feel sorry for her. Almost.

    2. From what I can tell (I only come across the guy when he’s featured here) he loves that pose/expression. It alone certainly does not express “I am a humble guy” – quite the opposite.

  33. Because you build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the monuments of the righteous, and say, “If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets.” Therefore you are witnesses against yourselves that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers’ guilt.

  34. Um… I know fundies are known for inbreeding and closet homosexuality… but if he’s got all their DNA in him at the same time, presumably it was one after the other, so he probably needs some soothing lotion.

  36. “surrendered to preach” – bah!

    We all know these guys live for their stages. Pretending as though it’s some kind of sacrificial self-abasement born out of surrender? Are you kidding me, stop fooling yourself prat-face.

    Go sell all your possessions and give them to the poor. That is surrender.

    2. Dear Phil_style:

      I read your post twice as my eyes have been blurry of late. It’s allergies and spring. But why reread? It’s because the first time, I thought I read, ‘stop fondling yourself.’

      Perhaps either reading is appropriate.

      Christian Socialist

  37. You know, I think we need a new metric for the Awesomeness of Fundy Pedigree. We’ll call it the Torrey number; folks who studied under, or were saved under or surrendered themselves under the leadership of R.A. Torrey have a Torrey number of one. Folks under them have a Torrey number of two, and so on…

    Mathematicians actually have a strange obsession with the same thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erd%C5%91s_number

    1. Never cared much for Mr. Erdos. I am sure he was a brilliant mathematician, but his problem-solving focus and quasi-plagiarism of showing up at fellow mathematicians’ homes uninvited and hijacking their papers was hardly admirable. If some rumpled professor showed up on my doorstep and said “my brain is open,” I’d say “then go to the emergency room.”

      1. Yeah, he does strike me as a bit weird. But with how cutthroat a lot of mathematicians are about their research, I assume he must have been making very significant contributions for them to have actually put up with his idiosyncrasies.

        Even so, the whole Erdos number thing is just plain odd. Erdos was nowhere near the mathematician that (say) Euler was. Brilliant, maybe. But a once in a decade brilliant guy at best.

      2. For sheer mathematical weirdness, it would be hard to top Francis Galton (one of Charles Darwin’s cousins), who (in all seriousness) calculated the “loveliness quotient” of the female populations of different cities.

    1. I like how they sneak in Spurgeon among their highly worshiped… Ol’ Chuck isn’t even around to defend himself, poor guy.

  40. He quotes himself on his own website under “amen corner”. What a tool.

    1. I was surprised to see Rice and Spurgeon quoted. They weren’t KJVonlyists. That is a poor example of separation.

  41. My first thought: WTF??? 😯

    My second thought: I have NO IDEA who any of these people are. It’s kind of pathetic because I think to him these people are all a Really Big Deal.

    Stuf Fundies Like: Name Dropping of Names No One Has Ever Heard Of.

    1. Well, I’d guess most folks on here have heard of Spurgeon. Many of then probably even know he’s the great fundy Calvanist hero who was a great example on separation. (Though they tend to forget the whole Calvanist bit…)

      And John R. Rice is a reasonably big name in evagelicalism

      1. Oops. My guess is I was talking about the Amen corner, and you directly about the tweet… My mistake.

    1. “And do not think you can say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham.”

      Matthew 3:9

      1. Yes.
        Matthew 3:10 Even now the axe is laid to the root of the trees. Every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

  43. These things he counted as gain, does he count them but loss for Christ?

  44. “Thankful to have the spiritual DNA of…………and the humility of Muhammad Ali!

  45. He might want to consider some genetic counseling…I would. With luck, it’s a recessive trait.

    1. … but the thing about those doctors of Spiritual Genetic Counseling: they didn’t really earn that “Dr.” in front of their names.

      I’m guessing Dr. Hamblin won’t mind.

  46. Don’t know what he means by this self-promotion… the men are, I believe, great men, even though they had failings common to all.

    J Frank Norris, though he did shoot an man who turned out to be unarmed, did clean up some of the worst areas of Fort Worth, and I respect him for that. Personally, I don’t care for his, uh, “flamboyant” style.

    GB Vick I know the least about. I know that he and JF Norris had a falling out that led to the formation of BBF (if I have my facts right).

    Tom Malone started Midwestern Baptist Bible College; I don’t think I ever met him, but a pastor who was a real help & blessing to me went to school there. I’ve heard that he was a good preacher and an honorable man.

    Oliver Greene I know as a radio personality of yesteryear; heard some of his stuff.

    2. Uh…where do you live that shooting an unarmed man is a failing common to all? Remind me to never go there. LOL

    3. I knew Tom Malone personally. You’re right – he was a good preacher and an honorable man. But I still reject his IFB methods and associations with Jack Hyles and his ilk. I did not, however, care for his wife (not that it matters).

  47. Oliver Greene wasn’t welcome in many IFB churches back then and certainly wouldn’t be now. He didn’t line up with them and talk their little talk. ALSO He would be totally opposed to this man taking his name and parading it like that. I was close friends with his brother Jack–another really great person and kind man who didn’t put up with all the junk either.

    1. I was pretty sure Greene wouldn’t necessarily appreciate the company that claims him. Thanks for the reassurance.

      I’m amazed at the past Christian leaders whose teachings are used selectively by “preachers” needing some type of “positive reinforcement” to bolster their own poor credentials.

      1. I agree. The IFB radio outlet in town airs him and sometimes when I’m going to grab breakfast on the way to church I’ll listen, and to Greene’s credit I haven’t heard him promote “pet doctrines” (actually emphasizing he would not do that) but sticking to Scripture.

    1. I sure wouldn’t be. Proverbs has some pretty strong words for folks who love ignorance.

      “How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity? And the scorners delight in their scorning? And fools hate knowledge? Turn you at my reproof!”

      1. …

        pretty sure that passage isn’t talking about ktmrc8’s ignorance of these nobodies

  49. Rumor has it that there is an island off the coast of Costa Rica filled with Mogs cloned from spiritual DNA. There they roam free in a replica of their native habitat, a town from the 1950s.

        1. Actually, the most dangerous place is between a velocipastor and a microphone.

        2. BG, I just pictured a lady walking up to him in the middle of a rant, taking his mic and say “everybody give him a big hand… Thank you, thank you. You can have a seat now.

    2. I shouldn’t have been eating potato chips while reading this exchange because I laughed and then almost choked!

  50. After surfing the website for this “surrendered” (translate that collecting a paycheck on someone else’s sweat equity, labor, productivity, and work) evangelist, it occurs to me a subtle psychology is at work here: To be pictured with some of the “great workers in the Lord’s vineyard” conveys the idea that he himself is great. This is the same as when preachers preach about “great” men, accomplishing “great” things, doing a “great work for the glory of God,” expecting their audience will come to think of them as “great” too. The compulsion for “greatness” violates what Jesus told His diciples in Mark 10:42-45. MOGs need to crave humility, not greatness.

    1. What a good point!

      God calls us to serve not to be great. I think it is a sign of worldliness when pastors/evangelists hunger after recognition, fame, and greatness; I think it is an example of the “pride of life” to which Scripture refers.

    2. I shook hands and briefly spoke with Henry Aaron once. That doesn’t make me a home run hitter or a good businessman. To make the claim on that basis holds as much water as the claims of greatness “Dr.” John makes. (with apologies to Mack Rebennack)

      1. I can see Canada from my house. Are you saying that doesn’t make me Canadian?

    3. I believe the term is called the “halo effect.”

      “The tendency to assign generally positive or generally negative traits to a person after observing one specific positive or negative trait, respectively.”

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