Standards

The Big Questions

126 Comments

At what point on a woman’s ankle, shin, or knee does a dress go from “modest” to “street walker”? There must be an absolute to this. God is not the author of confusion.

How much percussion is too much? Can we clap on the beat? May we use the timpani as long as we don’t call them “kettle drums”? How pronounced does the back beat have to become before the devil gets in you?

How pure must my KJV remain? If I spilled hot chocolate on a page and now the lineage of Mikloth the father of Shimeam is mostly a blur do I need to dispose of it entirely for fear of having corrupted the text? If so is it ok if I use the same procedure that I do for the American flag in dealing with the remains?

Am I responsible for the souls of every person I meet or just the ones I meet on Thursday evenings between 6 and 9 p.m.? If it’s the former, what is the best way to keep three or four hundred tracts on hand at all times? (Walmart is busy this time of year).

Is the preacher ever wrong? What’s the divine punishment for evil questioning? I hope it’s not as bad as the one for skipping Sunday School but if so could I speak to someone about breaking the other leg this time?

126 thoughts on “The Big Questions”

    1. Dangerous questions indeed,
      “How pure must my KJV remain? If I spilled hot chocolate on a page…”

      Spilling hot chocolate is akin to spilling water, accordingly it is spilt (2 Sam 14:14) which is common to man for we all must needs die.

      However, true depravity of heart is revealed by the use of “spilled” as this is none other than the sin of Onan (Gen 38:9) and was the specific cause of his death for God slew him.

  3. Funny thing about dress code….there was a time when if a woman showed her ankles it was considered indecent. Now we say ad long as it covers the knee and the blouse is not more than three fingers past the neck open. So are we all harlots because our clothing doesnt cover every inch of our body? A jean skirt is acceptable to most fundys today……considered indecent in days gone by.

    1. “TweetsofOld” is a Twitter account with extracts from newspapers of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. This was on their feed a couple of days ago.

      “The indecent dress of some women in our churches makes it tremendously hard for a young man to keep his thoughts clean and pure. AL1919”

    2. Jean skirts were considered evil at my ACE school in the 80s because it was “men’ work material.” Same with flannel. I found out when I wore a nice jean skirt with a plaid flannel shirt. Luckily, since my family wasn’t “saved” I didn’t have to call my mom to bring me something to change into. I just couldn’t wear it again.

  4. Speaking of “God is not the author of confusion”; That is one of the things that finally drove me from the pentecostal world. I looked around and thought to myself that this is the most confused group of people I know, myself included. At least the guy that wanted to go to the bar, get drunk, and chase women had direction in life. The people around me just seemed to spin their wheels and go nowhere.

    I imagine the fundy world might be similar.

  6. I recall my former IFB M-o-g asking, with much exasperation, “Why do Christians always have to know why?” Who do we think we are after all?

    1. Did fundies ever use the phrase: God said it, I believe it, that settles it?

      Translation: Don’t think, don’t question, just act.

      1. It’s the middle bit of that phrase that baffles me. Why isn’t it just “God said it, that settles it”? (admittedly I would want to use rather more nuance about exactly what God said than your average fundy, but y’know…)

        What does my believing it have to do with whether something’s true or not?

        1. It’s the middle bit of that phrase that baffles me. Why isn’t it just “God said it, that settles it”? (admittedly I would want to use rather more nuance about exactly what God said than your average fundy, but y’know…)
          What does my believing it have to do with whether something’s true or not?

          Because God doesn’t expect mindless compliance!

          The Hebrew word often translated “obey” (shema) actually carries the idea of hear, understand, obey, or knowing with the mind and understanding with the heart. In this context, God doesn’t hold you responsible for following His command if you simply hear but don’t understand.

          Frankly, that’s great news, because how often have we thought we were following God’s commands only to later realize, “Oops, I’m doing it wrong.” 😉

        2. I think that has something to do with the Fundies’ need to DO something to help God and gain their salvation, God’s approval etc….

      2. Did fundies ever use the phrase: God said it, I believe it, that settles it?

        Every time I hear that phrase, I add a fourth line for Truth in Advertising: “AL’LAH’U AKBAR!!!!!”

    2. You know its funny they preach harshly against adding to or taking away from the Bible. However, isn’t it funny they add dress code (or law depending which camp you are of), music rules, and several other things that you must do to please God?

      They have so much they cannot backup with the Bible.

    1. Never question the preacher man, or the son or daughter of a preacher man! Otherwise within one week you will end up in the hospital with some rare disease and God will kill you.

      At least that’s what I learned from their sermon illustrations.

      1. “…you will end up in the hospital with some rare disease…”

        Wait a minute. I thought that was the punishment for not tithing?

        1. No, not tithing your first ten percent off the gross just makes your money cursed. Which probably only makes it suitable for dastardly purchases. 😉

      2. Especially the Son Of A Preacher Man, for, if you’re not stricken with illness, you’ll end up writing and/or singing Bad Country Music. And there’s few things less pleasing to the Good Lord’s ears than that. 😈 :mrgreen:

      3. Never question the preacher man, or the son or daughter of a preacher man! Otherwise within one week you will end up in the hospital with some rare disease and God will kill you.

        “O GREAT CHEMOSH! O GREAT BAAL! SEND DEATH AND DESTRUCTION DOWN ON THESE *MY* ENEMIES!!!”
        — from some old Fifties “Bible Epic” movie

        1. I bet that was “The Story Of Ruth” (1960), one of those big budget cast-of-thousands epic things; it played ducks & drakes with the Bible story. Watched it one dull afternoon years ago.

    2. I was told, “I don’t believe a christian woman should question a man(pastor). She can pray that the LORD would send a man to correct him.” Navigate that stipulation’s logical conclusion.

  8. I want to buy a film projector and some comfortable seats but I am worried about inadvertently creating a movie theater in my home. Can someone please specify what exactly is sinful about the movie theater so that I can avoid it? I shudder to think that I might be ignorantly showing Sheffy to my friends and neighbors while forcing them into gross sin due to the size of my screen or the pitch of my seats. Thank you for your help.

    1. Apathetic or whatever, (I giggle every time I read your name!)

      Your comment is hilarious! What’s crazy is that they preach against going to the theater but they watch many of those same movies at home so what is the difference? Come to think of it… Who instigated this Fundamental Rule? I mean if going to a worldly theater is wrong, then what is the difference between the movies and amusement parks, carnivals, shopping malls, OMG… the list could go on and on and on….

      ~~~Heart 😯 🙄

      1. Christian objections to the theater go way back; the Puritans closed the theaters in the 1600s when they came to political power in England. That objection continued, the theater being seen as a place where lasciviousness was celebrated onstage and indulged in backstage. As moving picture shows became invented, the opprobrium against plays was applied to them as well.

        (It was realizing the hypocrisy and illogical of avoiding the movie theater itself while watching the exact same movie on video tape at home that convinced my husband and I to start attending movies, long before we ever considered ourselves to be ex-fundies.)

        1. Pastor’s Wife,

          …and when you bring all that together, it’s a simple decision!

          During my “incarceration in Fundamentalism” I refrained not only from the movie theater but also stage performances, musicals and the like! What a shame! Since “escaping” I have enjoyed all the arts, especially the musicals!

          How ridiculous to be chained to rules of a day gone by! Thanks for the bit of history.

          Go see “Les Miserables” on the silver screen, if you haven’t seen it 3 times already!!! 😆 It’s wonderful!

          ~~~Heart 😉

        2. But it’s obviously not the medium that is sinful because how many hokey plays do they put on at church? Isn’t that theater in the broadest sense possible?
          Actually that’s kind of an insult to theater.
          Also, most Fundies would watch a Christian movie, right. Obviously the Puritans didn’t watch movies a but it wouldn’t surprise me if they didn’t put on plays either.

        3. I heard IFB preaching criticizing the use of drama in church (like a skit during a morning service); some of them might have been willing to have a little acting accompany their Christmas cantata but this might have been excused because 1) it wasn’t done on Sunday morning or 2) it was done by children. (Children get away with fun hand motions too; by the time you’re older, that’s condemned as charismatic.)

        4. to paraphrase Mencken, a Puritan is a person who lives in fear rhat somewhere there is someone who is Happy.

        5. PW et al.,
          The politics of the banning of the theater in Britain during the Interregnum is fairly complicated. And I do say “politics” advisedly – this wasn’t so much a matter of faith and practice as it was a revulsion against the monarch and noble society after the “Glorious Revolution.” The closing of the theaters started during the civil war, because of the threat of the times, and was reinforced by the new government after the execution of Charles. The enforced closure of theaters became a directive that all such places of entertainment be pulled down, and actors were preemptively sentenced to flogging. The English theater, which had during the Elizabethan and Jacobean eras flourished, never recovered.

        6. That objection continued, the theater being seen as a place where lasciviousness was celebrated onstage and indulged in backstage. As moving picture shows became invented, the opprobrium against plays was applied to them as well.

          So when this new medium (movies) was just getting started, all the WASP Christians refused to financially back such an immoral starting industry.

          However, Ashkenazic Jews (who had a long-established theater traditon) would put their money behind it. And not only backed but expanded into this new line of entertainment.

          And fifty years later Christians lamented how The Jews Control Hollywood.

      2. I went to an IFB high school. We had a rule that said we couldn’t go to a movie theater. One year, several of the parents were questioning that rule… they wanted to be able to take thier kids to a movie without them getting in trouble. One parent asked WHY. The principal said that going to the movies could ruin your testimony. “See, I could be taking my kids to see Winnie the Pooh. But no one else in line around me knows what I’m going to see. What if they assume I’m seeing a bad movie? What if they guy behind me, who is there to see an R rated movie, comes to church on Sunday and sees me sitting on the platform? What is he going to think?”

        That was the one and ONLY time I’ve ever heard a reason to why we “can’t” go to a movie theater. And based on this logic, we would visit one-roomed theaters (only one screen, so there was no question as to what movie you were seeing). Nevermind the fact that we watched Jessica Simpson wearing booty shorts in Dukes of Hazzard.

        1. I don’t see how you can ever do anything if you’re responsible for any possible wild assumption someone else might make.

          e.g.,
          You can’t sit on a park bench, because someone could think you’re there to pick up prostitutes or to score drugs.
          You can’t buy a set of drinking glasses, because someone might think you’re going to consume alcohol from them.
          You can’t have a piano, because someone might think you play bawdy songs.
          Etc.

        2. Exactly. It’s ridiculous. And how sad I went to four years of IFB high school and this was the best (and only) explaination I got.

        3. This was one of the first things my husband and I gave up, long before we ever thought of eschewing the label of fundamentalism altogether.

          It was video stores that destroyed this argument. The same pastor who says going into a theater will destroy your testimony would go into a video store to RENT a movie. How would that also not destroy your testimony? After all, some video stores have a back room where they even rent out NC-17 and X rated stuff much worse than one’s local Cinemark.

          The irrationality made us realize that we were free to go to movies. I went to my first one when I was 23 years old, and I’ve enjoyed seeing movies on the big screen ever since.

        4. (BTW, I did know ONE fundamentalist who was consistent on this. He wouldn’t go to movies and he wouldn’t go to video stores either. I respected him for not being a hypocrite, but no longer felt obligated to join him.)

    2. Its all about semantics. Fundies don’t go to the movies, they watch films. They never go to the beach, they go to the shore (privately rented, no people within 100 miles), and on and on it goes.

      1. “Going to the shore?” I thought only upper-crust Episcopalians did that? Sorry for the tautology, btw.

      2. And don’t forget that the females all have to go to another area when the males can’t see them… 😛

        1. My fundy U tried some form of this, but there was no way they could ever buy any property on the beach. All they could do was tell the women to only go to one particular spot of the public beach and men to go to another specific spot, and then forbid them from interacting with anyone of the opposite sex while they were there (cause that’s a great testimony to people in the community). 😆

        2. ^ That kind of scrupulosity ends up being really weird. To me it makes Christianity look more like Islam!

  9. Pardon me if this is a little gross. I saw this deep theological argument on Facebook last week.

    If a Christian man is circumcised will his foreskin resurrect with the rest of his body? If no, is his resurrection then incomplete? If yes, is the umbilical cord reattached too? Why would his foreskin be reattached since we are to be resurrected into a perfect state and circumcision is a sign of the covenant? Wouldn’t that mean his resurrection is imperfect?

    And on and on and on and on and on. 🙄

    This of course brought out some of the deepest thinkers of fundamentalism. It was amusing to watch them flail each other with Bible verses. :mrgreen:

      1. Call me a heretic, but I’d go with Peppermint Patty, who offered, “Eight if they’re skinny, and four if they’re fat.” 😀

    2. If you were circumcised as a baby, and it’s put back on to an adult pe…OY! O-U-C-H! Oh, that’s too painful to contemplate. 😯 😈

    3. My dad knew a guy in a fundy church that refused to donate any of his organs after he died, lest the Rapture should occur and his kidney on its way to join with his newly resurrected body burst out the back of a non-believer and kill them, leaving the man ineligible to enter Heaven due to the sin of murder. My dad might be making this up, but I’ve heard stranger tales from Fundystan.

      2. My dad is against donating organs for that same reason. He also believes that Christians should not have their bodies cremated. I was always confused by this as a child, and of course now I just think how delusional it all is. And crazy! But you really don’t see the full crazy until you are out.

      3. My mother doesn’t like organ donation. The rapture reason MAY play into it, but she’s mentioned that God gave those organs to YOU for YOU not to give away because they belong to HIM. She has mentioned confusion at the Rapture too because of where your organs might be, and God is not, after all, the author of confusion. (That verse is used to ban lots of stuff by some of the fundies I know.)

        She also worries that with your organs a sinner might keep on sinning, using your body parts to do evil, and I heard her say once that if the person’s organs are failing, it’s either God’s time for them or they did it to themselves through bad living so who are we to thwart God’s justice.

        (She really is a nice lady, but her thinking on this topic is so warped it leaves me just shaking my head.)

        1. Yowza, PW! That’s just plain nutty and I mean that with all due respect to your mom.

          So would heroism be out of the question too? Like if a train is barreling towards your friend you shouldn’t push them out of the way and let yourself get hit instead because “it was their time”?
          Some of that Pre-Trib rapture fear leads to “be careful little hands” theology because they are scared to be left behind, but it seems like I’m hearing that less. I really despise pre-Trib hermeneutics.

        2. If you take that thinking to its logical conclusion, you should never help anyone or give anything to anyone.

          Sort of like Ayn Rand’s idea of Paradise, or Thomas Hobbes’s “state of nature” (where life is “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short”).

        3. Well, on the Christianese Culture War front, Ayn Rand IS becoming the Fourth Person of the Trinity and co-Redemptrix…

      4. “Who ate Roger Williams?” Roger Williams was supposedly the first man baptized as an adult believer in America and thus forming the first Baptist church in America in the 1600’s. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Williams_(theologian)

        He died, his body decayed, was eaten by worms and distributed in the soil in Rhode Island. Crops were grown, people ate them and Roger Williams was in effect eaten by them. When the resurrection comes, will those infinitesimal parts of Roger Williams come back together and be his body? in other words, “Who ate Roger Williams?”

  11. All these questions hit me like a ton of bricks taking me back to those days that each of those burdens weighed me down with such emotional, physical and spiritual stress!

    I am so relieved to be free of such legalism and to be able to enjoy appropriate apparel, clapping of my hands, dancing with my love, fearing no ridiculous Fundamentalist taboos about the Bible, sharing my beliefs with sincere concern rather than out of threat and most of all… I’m thankful for the presence of mind and freedom to articulate my curiosities and question anything that is placed before me without fearing God’s wrath against me for disbelief or lack of faith!

    Free yourself, if you have not yet done so and learn to know the truths and living in grace! He already paid the price!

    ~~~Heart 😉

  12. Music is the hot topic right now in my life.

    Being an relatively new ex-fundie, I attended a Winter Jam concert last week. With one single Facebook check-in at the stadium I was attending I was able to change this past Sunday’s sermon in 3 local fundie churches, had a fundie radio program blast CCM with a vengeance and had all the local fundies posting anti-CCM hate messages on Facebook.

    The local MOGs are not liking it that I have not burst into flames, for my sins against the IFB and they are trying to run interference to protect the rest of their flock.

    I know of a couple of people in the IFB who are watching me, they see how freely I can worship now and they are starting to question things. The MOGs are not happy…. but I am!

    1. Wow! It reminds me of the Pharisees consternation after Jesus healed the blind man in John 9.

      I am so glad that you are happy and experiencing freedom. I hope you can stand strong under the criticism. I understand how fundies personally don’t like CCM, but how they can call it unbiblical after reading Bible passages like Psalm 150 and Psalm 47:1 I just don’t get!

      I am so grateful that I have cast of the chains of legalism that kept me fearfully avoiding CCM; I absolutely love so many songs that passionately remind me of God’s truth, often by actually quoting Bible verses in the lyrics.

    3. Always surprising how few IFB’s will take the time to consider how shaky a belief is if just one person (who isn’t even going to their church or denomination anymore) going to an “unapproved” event can shake that belief so badly. So much for being “Biblically based.”

  13. If a neighbor asked to borrow some of your glasses for a party that he’s having, should you lend them to him as Jesus commands? What if he will be serving alcohol in those glasses?

    1. And what if they’re not the right prescription?
      How do you serve alcohol in bifocals anyway? 😛 :mrgreen:

      1. PR, I’m glad to see I’m not the only person who interpreted “lend him your glasses” that way. 😛

        1. At least the glasses are somewhat sanitary. I would have to loan a pair of contacts, and they wouldn’t hold much drink. Although I could throw in the reading glasses, I guess.

    2. I think the correct Fundy response would be to point out the biblical precedent in which Belshazzar “borrowed” glasses to serve alcohol in them and the Medes and the Persians took the capitol and killed the Belshazzar.

    3. I think the correct Fundy response would be to point out the biblical precedent in which Belshazzar “borrowed” glasses to serve alcohol in them and the Medes and the Persians took the capitol and killed Belshazzar.

  14. I think we are all missing the important questions.

    Bernadette: Well, what if Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer?
    Amy: Yeah?
    Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up Hulk picked up the hammer.
    Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor. Thor picked up the hammer.

  15. Is there a sliding scale available as to who can view what? Are there certain shows and movies that a layperson must avoid but that would benefit a youth worker, a deacon, the pastor, or the dean of the school of fine arts at a Christian university? Who evaluates the spiritual maturity of the watcher so it can be determined whether he is watching for personal pleasure (a no-no) or simply so he is aware of what is going on in culture and can know how to better warn the sheep/students?

    1. Spiritual leaders may watch improper movies (read improper books, etc.) in order to warn weaker brothers and sisters to avoid them.

      That’s why I was watching “Hot Stewardesses on Devil’s Island” last week. Yeah, that’s it.

      1. This is OT but did you know that that quote comes from one of the most spectacularly mysogynistic rants of all time?

        1. …But was recaptured by the Discworld, where it is used by the most awesome fictional watchman of all time.

    3. You’re list made me think of a scene in the film Jesus Camp. There’ a poor little girl in it who’s church has her so wound up that she speaks with a stutter and some weird nervous tick. In one scene, she is talking about how she loves to dance, but she needs to be careful because sometimes she might dance for herself and not for God. You can tell it really concerns her as she goes into this really long explanation.

      How sad life must be for people who have to constantly worry via long lists of questions about something so small as movies or dancing. I feel bad for that little girl. It’s not her fault.

      1. When I saw that, I thought “she’s exactly like we were except that we thought people who danced weren’t really Christians”. We used the exact same terminology about singing/playing the piano for God and not for ourselves.

  16. Another question for the list:

    Am I to limit myself to the reading and application of Romans 14:13, 15, 16, and 21 alone, lifting them out of their context in the time-honored Indy Fundy tradition, or can I also read and apply the rest of the chapter as well?

  17. All the grocery stores in my town sell liquor. If I drive to the next town to find a store without liquor, it will cost me more in gas (which I saw last night for $3.75) so I will have to cut back on my missions’ giving? Is preserving my testimony and refusing to support the alcohol industry more important than seeing souls saved in other lands? If I patronize the closer grocery store and simply avoid the liquor aisle, is my missions’ money now tainted?

    1. Just buy really cheap alcohol and use it to run your car. You’ll save money that way that you can give to worthy causes.

    2. As long as you don’t mention you saw Mrs. MOG in the wine aisle (for the fourth time that month), you can be forgiven.

    3. I’d recommend buying the alcohol from the local store and driving INTO the gas station in the next town. Circumvent the whole issue.

  18. Can fundies look at Fox news?

    There is equal to or more cleavage, more thigh and more 4″ or 5″ inch heels on the women on the sets as you may find in movies. Oh yes, btw, on the weather channel as well.

  20. In response to the hover text: Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.

    1. Was just listening to the radio while reading this and fell in the floor when the announcer said, “Crank it up and rip the knob off!” 😯

  21. And where is the question about proper Super Bowl observance? I posted on Facebook yesterday that I was enjoying the game with friends and family. Now long after, several fundies posted about how great their Sunday evening service was and how glad they were to obey God by going to church instead of viewing a heathen football game.
    I attribute their self-righteousness to bitterness that they all missed the second half and the much more exciting part of the game. 😆

  22. I am still careful of how I handle a Bible. Can’t stack anything on it, mustn’t let it get bent pages, and for goodness’ sake, don’t spill on it! Of course we don’t dispose of it like we do the flag! We simply retire it. My dad just bound his with duct tape and kept right on a’using it. 😆

    1. Hey Persnickety, good to see you! I actually do think it’s a good idea to treat the bible with respect if we believe it holds the words of life. For me, anyway. It’s not a superstitious thing, it’s reverence. One time at a bible study the youth leader whacked his bible against a table to make an almost comical point and that really disturbed me in a visceral way.

      1. I was being a little silly, but I’m not ok with people banging their Bibles around. I don’t want to cross the line into idolatry, and that’s a fine line, but I’m like that with any book, so I think it’s mostly just a pet peeve of mine. I really don’t like seeing books in general being abused, but the Bible is more than just another book, imo.

        1. What’s really cool about this conversation is that people are telling about their pet peeves without trying to force their pet peeves on other people.

          What a refreshing difference!

    2. My “light fundie” (well, sometimes not so light) Baptist (not IFB) peacher Dad did the same thing! One of his Bibles is completely covered with duct tape. He’s 96 and still loves duct tape. Thankfully he mellowed over the years but not before I was grown.

    3. I remember visiting a local Catholic school, with an eye to sending my kids, and seeing the library. There is a big poster warning that 😥 👿 Good Children Never EVER Dog-Ear A Book! 👿 🙁 , it’s a sin in God’s eyes or something like that.
      If it’s bad enough to stain/stack on/dog-ear a Bible, I knew it was far far worse to piss off a library Nun. 😯 (the one thing even a Fundy doesn’t want to confront.)
      Just for the record, my ex’s children from No.
      2 do go to the same Catholic school, don’t tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humor. :mrgreen:

    4. Fundies are right that historically defective manuscripts were thrown away, and that also best manuscripts were also thrown away when they had been successfully copied. However this practice is not fitting and we now have more light.

      Therefore, Bibles should now be consumed in their entirety, like communion wine. They need to be eaten when they are finished with.

      1. I should add that this is just my personal view and a matter of Christian liberty. However, to be sure not to sin I recommend that you do as I say.

  23. what if I hear about a law that is still on the books in my town yet is one that no one observes? Am I still required before God to obey that law? If I don’t (because, for example, having someone walk with a lantern in front of the car isn’t very practical), am I required to abstain from taking communion?

  24. Man, I could sit here making up questions about persnickety things all day.

    I’m thankful that God told us that the greatest commandments are to love God and to love others as ourselves. That makes things a lot more simple!

    “What doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?” (Micah 6:8)

    2. Careful. I think someone else already has “Persnickety” under private ownership, and you might get nailed for copyright violation.

      1. But I thought Jesus died to free us from our sins and from the bondage of having to obey copyrights and trademarks? 😛

        1. Only if you have the good fortune to be an IFB music leader or preacher. Then, you can violate copyright law ’til the cows come home, you servant of the most high god.

          Otherwise, you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, you heathen.

  25. This is fantastic, Darrell, because it illustrates so clearly the problem in churches today: appearance is all that matters. The condition of the heart (and its proximity to the heart of God) is pretty much an afterthought. And, loving people as Jesus loved people is even lower on the priority list, it seems.

    I don’t know why people insist on thinking John R. Rice is going to be sitting on the throne at the Judgment…

  27. I just called my wife, ranted about the laundry not being done, the dishes not put away and the carpet not vacuumed this morning. Then I said “I love you”.

    Her response….. “Put your Fundie away”

  28. Want to have a little fun with Fundie rules? Go to a Fundie church that has mostly old almost deaf people in it, and casually mention you like to watch “Hardcore Pawn” on TV. 😆

  29. On the subject of clothing and modesty, what are the Fundy Laws, I mean Biblical Standards, for nightwear. Are pjamas mandatory for all Christian men, and nighdresses for women? Is it OK for a man to sleep in his underwear? Am I committing sin if I sleep, er, un-clothed?

    1. I’d never heard any proscriptions about nightwear in my church, but apparently there are some churches that are adamantly against women in pajamas because they are “men’s clothing”.

      I could see someone making the argument that sleeping nude would represent rebellion against God who clothed Adam and Eve, but I’ve never actually heard any preaching on that subject.

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