205 thoughts on “Ranting About Technology”

  2. oh no! I am using modern technology to comment on his modern technology Youtube video!! AHHHH!

  4. He uses hay-men too much. Even when it doesn’t make sense. Amen means “so be it.” But he sais hay-men after saying “think about it.” This must be fundy-speak.

    1. Then he supplements with “amen or not.”

      As in “whether you agree with me or not” I guess.

      1. Apparently, “Amen” is fundy for “LOL”, a form of punctuation which lost any original meaning lol. Seriously, you read any posts on FB by the under-20s and they just randomly use it lol. I’m going to go get some coffee lol. BRB lol.

      2. If you replace “amen” with “no respect”, you have a pretty good Rodney Dangerfield impression.

    2. We had a speaker at our teen camp this year who said “Amen?” at pretty much the end of each sentence. Me and another guy had running joke all week saying things like, “I’m going to the bathroom. Amen?”

    3. This is one of those sermons where as a kid, I would entertain myself by counting the “hey-mans” in the sermon. Amen-er-not??

      So, just for old time’s take, I counted his first 10 minutes. (after the intro and prayer) He scored 68 hay-mans. 42.5 minute sermon x 6.8 per minute equals about 289 for this crusade against “these evil devices.”

      Hay-man!!

  5. This fundie thing with big comfy chairs for the men folk up front never seems to end.

    But yeah, we’re all equal in the eyes of the Lord. Uh-huh.

    1. Oh, no no no, see, we’re all equal. It’s just that some of us are more equal than others, so they get to sit on the comfy chairs while you proles get the ones below.

    2. Those chairs send a very clear message of separation or elitism. It bugs me a lot, and I won’t walk in a church with those chairs on the stage.

      1. It’s just chairs. I have seen some churches with mini-pews for the people on the platform to seat or should there be no seating at all? The people that are involved in the service should not have to on and off the platform during the different parts of the service. You guys are reading to much into some chairs on a stage.

        Also, I have seen these types of seats in Methodist, Pentecostal, Presbyterian, and Lutheran churches. So this is not just a Baptist thing.

        1. I think it’d be different if they were ordinary chairs, the same as everywhere else, but why these special armchairs? Why are these people set apart? I’m a firm believer that all Christians are equal, so why set some above the others in deliberately special seats?

          Now, I can see if there wasn’t enough room, and they had to seat people on the stage. Or if there were several speakers, so for convenience they all sat up there. But in both cases, the giant puffy armchairs still seem like a strange choice of seating.

        2. Those are Archie Bunker chairs. Those are “Fireside Chat” chairs. Those are “This is my house, you’re going to listen to what I have to say” chairs.

        3. I think I agree with Chad on this one. I don’t have a problem with the chairs.
          I have sat in several and they aren’t very comfortable to be honest.
          The ones I sat in had a seat that tilted slightly forward so that you had to be constantly scooting back up in the seat. Drift off to sleep and you would probably slide right out in the floor.
          It is for good reason that most Mogs don’t sit up there while someone else is preaching.

          I think the only reason that churches use those chairs is that they come in a set with the pulpit and pews.

        4. Not just chairs. A lot of what happens in fundyland is subtle. It sends a subtle message that “we are above you” and that the veil is still there. I agree this might be a precedent with other denominations, but it is still wrong in my humble opinion.

          I hate to say this but there are a lot of similarities between the pope and a The MOG.

    5. I understand the practicality of chairs on the platform, but THOSE chairs are kind of obnoxious. They look SO comfy compared to the pews.

    1. Probably a cell phone when in the deeper South? I’m no accent taxonomist, but that’d be my guess.

      1. Oh. I was hoping it was some revolutionaly new portable transportation device or something. 😆

      2. I’m also curious as to where this guy is from…considering the church is in Kentucky but not far outside of Cincy. I’m FROM the Deep South and he sounds worse than the majority of my VERY country family.

        3. Gotta be, Beth! He makes Paula Deen sound like a Yankee!

          And same here John…and I’m in the midst of ancestry research still. My European ancestors must have REALLY liked the South because not many people ever left LOL!

      1. Now there’s a thought. The wind blows most of the time during the day here, so I wouldn’t have to worry about my phone not being charged up!

  8. I don’t think that this gentleman represents “mainstream” IFB beliefs. Reason: the caption says “Bro Greg Phillips”…if you don’t have enough stroke to have one of your cronies at Basement Bible College award you an honorary degree so that you can bill yourself as “Dr Greg Phillips” then you are pretty far down on the IFB totem pole – unlike myself.
    Squire Reverend Dr Bro Bluto

  9. I’m at work, so I can’t watch this even if I wanted to (which I suspect I don’t… as someone who works in the technology field, this sort of thing always rubs me very much the wrong way), but I’m going to assume it’s all of the usual Facebook is evil, the Internet is evil, TV and movies are evil, etc. nonsense?

    1. He didn’t get to TVs and movies (see my quotable quotes later).

      My favorite is the rant against people driving and texting – he said that they should be reading their Bibles :mrgreen:

      1. That sounds even MORE dangerous than texting while driving! I think they should be DRIVING while driving! 😆

  11. I got 10 minutes in and couldn’t take anymore. I only heard one Bible verse (the requisite “I will set no evil thing before mine eyes”) but the “message” had nothing to do with the evilness of technology. Main points included:
    A. I never bring my cellphone to church, and neither should you.
    B. I don’t like it when my cellphone rings, because it’s always bad news, like somebody having trouble at church (?)
    C. Think of all the time people waste on these things! Just think about it. Think. Think hard.
    D. Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, somebody say AMEN!

    2. “Let’s stand for the reading of the text, the entirety of Psalms 101 (sic), from whence I will proceed to launch my 40 minute rant, without expositing one verse of the text.”

      This took me back to when my family lived in Marshall County, Kentucky for eight months in 1985-1986. Ironic that the only time I ever drank real wine for the Lord’s Supper in an IFB church was in a dry county.

  12. Made it 5 minutes, but for what it’s worth:

    1) Ok. What’s in the green tote underneath the table?

    2) Did he take his “sale fone” out of pocket and put it on the chair behind him, and then say he never took his phone into church with him?

    3) Hard to take seriously a Youtube video ranting against technology.

    4) Wonder if there’s anyone in the congregation who was reading the Scripture on their phone who then had to endure 45 minutes red-faced and slumped down in their seat.

    1. Oh, and those of us who respond negatively just don’t like to hear the truth. God’s Word is a sword that will cut you coming and going. Amen?

        1. YES! God knows how many times I have heard an IFB preacher “call down” some poor teenager fidgeting during a prayer in church. That came off very disrespectful to the church member that was praying. But, then again, the congregation should have “every head bowed and every eye closed” so they wouldn’t know anyway but for this EVIL YouTube video!

    3. I made it through the whole thing, believe it or not. One of the worst sermons I’ve ever heard.

      The one part that stood out in my mind was when he was nearing the end and said that it was possible for someone to be sitting in their pew, feeling under conviction, ready to walk the aisle and get saved when someone’s phone ringing could distract them and then they’d go to Hell. Made me think, “What a weak god these people must have.” The Bible says that my God is mighty to save. No phone could deter His efforts in saving someone.

      Hay-men or not?!

      —
      The Ear

      1. Bingo Malcus! Working on a lesson about suffering and God’s sovereignty for new members at our church. Last night listened to Piper while reading Jerry Bridges, this morning listened to this while finishing up. what a contrast in hope/hopelessness.

        J.L. Dagg said, “God is infinitely wise, because He selects the best possible end of action… [and] because He adopts the best possible means for the accomplishment of the end which He has in view” – Except cell phones during the mystical IBF invitation.

      2. Cell Phones and Family Pets are just two of the many things which distract people and frustrate this god’s plans for saving folks.

        *sigh*

        From “Jack Hyles Favorite Soul Winning Experiences”
        The Dog and the Family Altar:

        …That evening I did return and led them both to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

        It was a beautiful sight. We knelt at the sofa beside a beautiful Christmas tree, and each of them was sweetly converted. I knelt between them. Our heads were bowed, our eyes were closed, and we were praying, when suddenly I felt a cold, moist something on my cheek. It felt like a piece of liver, though I must confess I have never had a piece of liver on my cheek! I opened my eyes and found it was a Cocker Spaniel dog.

        Being afraid he would interrupt the soul-winning experience and be used of Satan to keep the people from Christ, I grabbed the dog around the neck, stuck his nose in a pillow on the sofa, and held him firmly. (All of this time the couple was praying and being saved.) The dog squirmed for a while. I squeezed his neck harder. Then he became motionless. I thought to myself, “Brother, I guess I have won two souls and killed a dog!”

        I was afraid I had choked him to death. What a joy it was when all of us got off our knees to know that not only had the couple been saved but the dog was still alive. I guess he had decided he enjoyed kneeling with us; in fact, after we got up, he remained in the kneeling position with his nose between his paws.

        http://jackhyles.net/books/1974-jack-hyles-favorite-soul-winning-experiences/

    1. I might be able to use this as background while I’m doing something else. Enabled by the use of technology, so it’s a two-fer. But I’m not going to watch it on my Android for the trifecta, due to low signal strength in my stone house.

  15. I tell you what, haymen, this modern technology is gonna ruin America haymen! All these modern up to date people running around with their horseless carriages everywhere! I tell you what, haymen, God did not create a horseless carriage, he created horses, haymen! When you go a-slinkin’ down to that horseless carriage dealer you are displacing a creation of Almighty God, haymen.
    I foresee a day when teenagers are gonna go out in these contraptions, park it somewhere dark and fornicate. It is clearly the fault of the technology that they will be doing that, haymen?.

  16. I fast forwarded to find him preaching on how the power bill goes up when you use your cellphone, and complaining that he’s annoyed when other peoples’ phones go off.
    I’m not entirely sure that that liquid he keeps swigging so enthusiastically is water.

      1. I was thinking straight-up vodka, but Koolaid is much more likely (and they make the clear kind, now, too!)

  17. So is that a stage or someone’s living room?

    Between the overall look with the chairs and end tables and the green tote underneath the front table…that’s some of the more bizarre church decorating I’ve seen yet.

    1. That was my EXACT first thought. Those ridiculous chairs and the wreath is what put it over the top for me!

  18. Ironic that his rant against technology is dripping with technology. In other words, the very sermon he’s preaching is made possible by technology. His sermon is “enveloped” in technology—even recording and the posting on YouTube. Electricity in the lights, microphones, speakers, etc is all technology. The building structure and everything in it is technology. Even the Bible is technology. It’s a codex (book) and not a scroll. Ink and printing is technology. The machines that made his clothes are technology. All the medication he probably takes is technology. The piano and the organ are technology. The only non-technological thing in that video is the hundreds of “Amens.” This is sad, honestly. I feel pity for him because it’s not a sin issue, it’s an elderly man who doesn’t understand the technology (or its potential power) and is therefore afraid of it.

    1. This is partly why I don’t like televangelists as they are now, especially Donnie Swaggart. What they do not realize is that in preaching against the medium while at the same time using it, they are judging themselves as much as supposedly judging us, because their messages are a television program; this is very hypocrisy and a violation of Matt. 7:1.

    2. Seems like he was an outside speaker brought in, maybe this is a revival/conviction speech to reform this church from its high-tech ways.

  19. Amen!? Now I may be here on this Internet, Brother Darrell, but it’s not because I like it, Amen!? Now let me say again, Brother Don, I despise the Internet, not just hate it Brother Gary, but despise it. I loathe it, Amen!? Brother Bluto, it’s not just the time, it’s the dime, Amen!? Of course, Brother Rob, it is a preference and it can be used for good, but Brother Wilver, that won’t stop me from ranting against it for the better part of an hour, Amen!?

  21. Ok, I hate to ruin the mirth with a serious comment, but there is a philosophical root underneath this silliness. It may be the least Christian and possibly the most damaging root in all of fundystan. That root is the idea that people are basically good, or at least neutral, and all these physical things can enter into our lives and corrupt us. Technology can make us wicked. Beer can make us wicked. Dancing can make us wicked. The Pharisees held to an identical false worldview, and Jesus really lambasted them. The evil is on the inside, and if you don’t mind, could you please try to keep it there? So of course, anything new is viewed with great suspicion; if Paul didn’t need it for his old time religion, it must be some new gambit by the debil to corrupt God’s people.

    1. I never really thought about it in these terms, but you know… you have an excellent point here. Certainly humans can, in our sinful ways, turn neutral technology into a bad thing (for example, using the Internet for pornography). And certainly humans can develop technology out of wrong motives and for bad reasons (weapons of war, etc.). But technology itself is not bad. It is human interaction with it that can turn it bad (or, more correctly, to bad purposes)–it’s us tainting the technology, not the other way around!

    2. Very insightful. I, too, never thought about it that way, but I think you’ve nailed it.

  22. The guy has one idea, some proof texts that he cherry picked, and this irritating AMEN, which shows an insecurity complex. It seems like he’s begging people to agree with him. I listened to the entire sermon, and it was a waste of 47 minutes trying to follow someone who had nothing to say. Two hours later, I bet most of the congregation remembered that the visiting preacher was pissed off about something, but they won’t be able to remember what about except he had an axe to grind against cell phones.

  24. 🙄 I seriously just listened to the entire sermon. Why? Mainly because it is literally half a mile from my house. Anyway, I have not laughed that hard in a while because of this guys stupidity, I mean word from the Lord.

  25. Timed it… 20+ Amen’s in just over two minutes. Good grief! Not sure I would be able to resist getting my phone out and starting a game or something right then and there… Not to mention maybe texting someone to ring me! 🙂 😈

  26. There are no words to describe how stupid (not ignorant) this man is.

    Even as Theater of the Absurd, this is ridiculous.

  27. I just can’t stop looking at those crazy green chairs, and that green storage bin under the table…what’s in there??? If I were a member of the church, I would likely be obsessed with that bin until I found out it’s contents…because the pastor would have bored me to tears.

    2. The green storage bin doesn’t actually store anything. The bottom had been cut out of it, and it hides all the plugs and wiring to the mics and speakers! Can’t have any eeeevil technology showing! 😈

        1. That was being sarcastic. It is, however, in the position where a lot of churches do have some connections for the mics and speakers!

        2. Gotcha. I just figured it would be an incredibly small world for me to meet a SFL reader in my town! #maybeoneday

  30. I can’t help but notice that his reasoning for the evils of technology is the same reasoning for the Taliban banning kite flying. You could spend that time reading the bible!

  31. Okay, a sermon posted on you tube against technology. Not to mention he spoke into a mic, video taped it, etc. Hypocrite, much?
    I have never taken notes during sermons as consistently or completely until I started doing it on my iPhone. I did find out the hard way, however, that if you take your Kindle to church for your Bible, to make sure it’s charged first! 😉

  33. Do any of you have teenagers? Can you have a meal without them texting? Ever saw a family or a couple in a restaurant and they are continuously talking or texting, wonder why they decided to go to lunch together? Yes, I do happen to think it rude for phones to go off during a church service, school plays, theatre, funerals!! Been to the movies lately? There’s always at least one idiot, with his cell phone open and that distracting light bothering everyone. Clearly in this country kids are consumed with their cell phones and I can’t believe this is a good thing! I do believe narcissism is at the heart of it!

    Yep the old-timer was fundy alright, but it’s foolish to think he didn’t make some good points!

    1. Yes, he did bring up some good points about etiquette (which is sorely lacking). However, he did so from the pulpit, which 1) granted his views on modern tech “thus saith the LORD” status, and 2) wasted time that should have been spent on actually teaching the Scriptures. He completely fails on either count.

    3. yes, and yes.

      My kids parents don’t allow phone use at the table.

      Parents got to parent, no matter what the environment they are parenting in is

    4. Church is where we gather to worship God and learn about Him. A word of reminder before the service to please turn off your cell phones is all that is needed. This preacher is going on a personal rant from a pulpit where he could have been magnifying Christ.

  35. In Memphis, we have a guy that dresses up like a fundy church lady and it is the funniest thing you have ever seen! The bad thing is is that it is SO true! Here is a youtube clip about cell phones. There are others out there if you like this one. I go see her whenever I get the chance. Enjoy!

    http://youtu.be/T4tZkD8fHVk (looks like you will have to copy and paste, but it is so worth it!)

    1. Okay. I laughed until my stomach hurt. That reminds me of so many of the women I knew! Thanks for posting that. I am going to be laughing all day about that.
      “Call me on the wallphone”! 😆 😆 😆

    2. LOL at “the Western Sizzlin” in Branson”

      What was the diff between Western Sizzlin and Western Sizzler anyway? I have been out of the South for a while.

    3. All the best southern stories either involve the Western Sizzlin or a snapping turtle. She managed both. Good link!

  36. Is it just me, or do some of his points make sense, esp about people who just can not stop yakking on their phones? 🙄 Common sense in a Fundy sermon? 😯 It’s the end of the world as we know it!

    1. Some of the things he said made sense. My issue (and I think most people’s issue) is that he substituted his opinions on technology with the actual teaching of the Bible that was supposed to be happening. If that 40-something minute talk had happened over lunch or at another time in the form of a conversation with someone else, it would have been fine.

      1. This exactly. Strip out the preacherspeak and rant over coffee and cookies after church. During church, preach on the actual Scripture reading. Psalm 10, for example, which is a plea for the Lord to arise and throw down oppressors from their places of power.

        Yet another way in which the most “Biblical” churches read the Bible the least.

  37. Ok, I did it. Don’t ask me why, but I did it.

    I counted all the amens…255 in 46 minutes. That averages 1 every 11 seconds.

    3. Does that count the “amenernot” occurrences, too?

      What a great way to distract yourself from the, uh, (pardon my using this word) message.

      1. Yes, my calculations included everything:

        1. “amenernot” (whatever that means)
        2. “amen?” (I expect a response)
        3. “amen!” (what I said was correct)
        4. “hey-hey-heymen” (because I just said something funny)
        5. “amen-1” (agreeing when the pastor is praying)
        6. “amen-2” (to fill space between sentences)

        I’m working on an honorary doctorate in amenology.

    4. I contemplated doing that myself, since it’s a common practice between Hubby and I. It’s usually Lord, God, LordGod, FatherGod, etc…that we count. Bonus points for “traveling mercies”!

  38. Apparently all he ever gets is bad news when he answers the phone, except the occasional call from a friend wanting to take him to dinner. Sounds to me that he’s trying to get people to stop calling with bad news and prompt more people to call to invite him to dinner.

    1. yes, and apparently there’s a lot of bad news about his church (he says when his cell phone goes off it’s “somebody having trouble at church.”
      Maybe THIS is a problem we should diagnose? 😯
      nah, that just blew my mind.

  41. Quotable Quotes:

    The Curse of Technology… first thing out of his mouth in the message was “I have a cell phone” (?)

    “Technology is neither good or bad… I hate and despise Facebook” (?)

    “Think about all the time wasted in front of a computer” (think about all the time wasted listening to a message that does not have any bearing on what the Scripture says).

    “I see people in the cars on their cell phones… wasted time that they could spend reading their Bibles” (?)

    “Amenernot”

    “We should spend as much time reading our Bible as being on our computers” (what if I read the Bible on my computer? – does the universe implode?)

    “The time…the dime” (hey look! a rhyme!)

    “If you have money for a phone cover, you need to be taking on a missionary” (Does a missionary want one-time gift of $50 – his estimate – $25 per phone cover at Amazon, or would they prefer an extra $10/month?)

    “time…dime…crime…God gave me this (maybe it was a different god – the god of this world, perhaps?)

    “I hope someone comes and steals everything you have” (?)

    “If I seen everything that went on at church, we probably wouldn’t have no congregation left” (?)

    “How do you know who’s the man of God? – he’s carrying a Bible” (?)

    “All these updates keep coming out… what’s wrong with being content?” (I assume he never gets his medicine renewed or updated)

    “I like to sit around in the dark” (:smile:)

    “Anytime you have to hide anything, it’s wrong” (?)
    The secret things belong to the Lord our God
    …in the hidden part…Ps 51
    …thy [God’s] hidden ones… Ps 83
    …the hidden man of the heart…I Pet

    “I ain’t lying you” (oh, good)

    “I ain’t got nothing to hide” (What is your salary? Let me see your last grocery store receipt)

    “Do you spend more time with these devices than with the Divine One?” (no, the Divine One indwells me and is with me 24×7)

    “Do you know what you have to do with a laptop computer? You have to set it before your eyes” (in reference to “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes”)… Well, I have to set a book before eyes; I guess I’ll burn all my books

    “You may be a victim of modern technology” (?)

    The real curse: “It’s so much harder to cover up the pastor’s and staff member’s sin with the victims having access to the Internet.”

    1. I noticed a bit of a pause after “I like to sit around in the dark”, as if everyone in the congregation suddenly raised their heads to hear more.

    2. ““We should spend as much time reading our Bible as being on our computers” (what if I read the Bible on my computer? – does the universe implode?)”

      no, but if you read the Bible online, other people around you might not know you’re reading your Bible (he dropped this glittering theological gem about 5 minutes into the tape). And it’s all about outward appearances, haymen?

      I love how he calls Facebook “Defacebook” while defacing Facebook. Oh, the dripping irony.

      1. That’s what I thought about his comment: “What if we treated our Bibles like we do our phones?” as he was ranting about sleeping with it, etc. I sleep with my phone on the nightstand (it’s an alarm clock and/or the way my kids get ahold of me in an emergency) and it’s also great for Bible reading first thing in the morning–there’s an app for that!

      2. When I read my Bible, it is for God to speak to me through His word, not for show; there usually aren’t other (distracting) people around… I try to keep the wife & kids away so as to meditate on what God said.

    3. “You never have to worry about your Bible being cut off ’cause Jesus already paid the bill, Amen?” 😆

    4. Thanks for the summary because I just can’t make myself listen to this stuff.

      There’s no grace here, no Jesus, no love. There’s a lot of hate and anger, just a miserable spirit. What about being grateful for the world in which we live? What about appreciating how our technology can improve our lives instead of irritably wishing things were different?

      Fundies are often les miserables.

  42. Did anyone see the girl in the front who kept raising her hands (Pentecostal-esque)?
    How many bets that the green bin is where Pastor locks his “naughty phone” for safekeeping?
    Hm, so anytime you have to hide anything, it’s wrong? I guess Dear Husband and I can go do the deed on the rooftop now 😈

  43. I couldn’t hear the offstage prayer after the reading of the text, but the preacher’s punctuation was amusing: “Amen…amen…oh my…amen.”

  44. “It’s gettin’ quiet in here”
    Possible definitions according to my experience amen or not:
    1) Deep conviction (that is what I was told)
    2) Deep anger at what I am hearing
    3) Deep confusion at what is being said
    4) Deep sleep.

    Yes, technology can be distracting and often a waste of time. So? The tree in my backyard can do the same thing if I let it.
    The shallow message contributes to why fundydom is frustrating. “If you get caught texting n driving in Clemson you will get fined praise God and the Lamb forever.” Wow.
    “if you put on facebook you are going on vacation I hope people come to your house and steal everything you got praise God.”
    “Say amen or oh me.”

    I just cringe hearing this stuff.

  45. Two things:

    1. I’m assuming by now someone from this site has created this MOg a Facebook page? This should be done. FB, Twitter- I’d follow that.

    2. Gold star to anyone who goes through and counts the Hay-mens. Hay-men?

  48. His church has a Facebook page! It looks like the pastor posts on there which I find too funny.
    It also makes his claim not to use FB suspect.

    Quotable quote:
    Revival cannot be organized but we can set our sails to catch the wind from Heaven when God chooses to blow upon his people once again…Are you among the 30 that Pastor asked to pray for 30 Minutes a day if so you may feel a Heavenly breeze…..Don’t miss it just Obey & Pray!

      1. Looking thru the pics..More people should be baptised in rivers, it is really a lost art, glad to see them do it.

    2. we can set our sail phones to catch the wind from Heaven? Kind of like Dial a Prayer?

      I’m still trying to decipher this update from their FB page:

      “Preacher just talked to Bro.Steve and he was waiting on his breakfast….Take that devil!”

  49. “bad things…hay-men….to happen.” Is that in support of the bad? or just confirmation “hay-men” is merely a habit. 🙄 Curious thing that he’s using a microophone and the church has a web site and archived messages. As a grace teacher so eloquently stated: There’s no consistency in legalism!

    Have a grace-filled weekend, everyone!

  50. Wow, this was great therapy to remind me what I came out of. As an technology professional I sat through many sermons like this, when I was younger I even questioned if I was in the right vocation.

    I’m amazed at the level of stupidity and I “almost” feel sorry for his overwhelming ignorance of technology.

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