45 thoughts on “Terminal Velocity”

    1. Here I get my first, first and my iced tea at McDonalds still cost me a dollar.

    2. I used to hear it at least once a week. The assistant pastor who led the soul winner meeting every week would end the meeting with, “Let’s go out and win someone to Jeeeeezusssss, lest they die and split hell wide open!”

      I got a kick out of it way back then. :mrgreen:

  4. I love the hover text! :mrgreen:

    So, on an unrelated note, if hell can be “split wide open,” which is analogous to an explosion, then that confirms once and for all that hell is, in fact, exothermic. 😆

  5. “Divine rail gun” is my favorite phrase ever. All I can think of is Celestia from My Little Pony sending people TO THE MOON! (where they may or may not find bananas)

  6. I never heard of that expression before today and had to google it. Maybe its a southern thing? At my fundy high school I heard lots of sayings like “you’re never going to amount to much”, “you should be more like so-and-so”, “just keep asking all those questions and see where that leads you” (I have to admit those last 3 says were directed at me in high school). Fun times!!! 🙁

  7. I didn’t hear it much. When I did, it always confused me. It always sounds to me like a postive thing – like hell would be conquered and burst open like the grave bursting open when Christ arose.

    It’s just a phrase that totally doesn’t work for me.

    1. I heard the phrase occasionally, but not often, growing up, and I thought pretty much the same thing. Didn’t Jesus split Hell wide open when he “descended first into the lower parts of the earth,” “ascended up far above all heavens, that he might fill all things,” and “When he ascended up on high, he led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men?”

    2. I’m with you, PW, and PB: Wouldn’t splitting Hell wide open be a good thing? As in, destroying Hell and releasing all its captives?

  9. I got look when I looked at the hover text. It had something to do with the explosion of laughter. :mrgreen:

  10. I got told I needed to get saved and was in danger of splitting hell wide open last time I got in a heated debate (about street-preaching, if I remember right) on FB with a bunch of IFBXs. I told my fiance I reckoned I was going to give hell stretch marks. 😛

  11. Oh man, I’ve heard that phrase so many times. It probably is a largely Southern thing. For full impact, it must be said with the emphasis on an elongated “wiiiiiiiiiide.” 😀

  13. Was sitting in my old fundy church years ago with my parents listening to the “evangelist” won’t mention his name but his initials were “Buster Kinsey” You folks down south have probably heard of him, anyhoo, under the mighty power of the Holy Spirit (God forgive me and bless the pygmies) He stated emphatically,in his best OT prophet voice that Joel Osteen was going to “split Hell wide open” Well it so happened that Dad had been following “Joel” on the telly for alittle while, needless to say this didn’t sit well with him. I am not a Joel Osteen fan, then or now, but I was ticked that the evangelist would stand before a group of believers and deliver such a know-it-all, judgemental edict. I have vowed to walk out of any service where any such foolishness is ever spoken.

  14. I heard the “split hell wide open” phrase spoken by a BJU grad/pastor, in reference to some of the members of FBCH (not Hyles, though it would be more appropriate for him). I always thought it was a metaphor to somehow emphasize that plenty of church members were going to end up in hell, no matter how many “decisions” they cajoled people into making, or how many kids they got on a bus.

    1. “Going to hell in a handbasket” always sounded so stupid to me. What’s a handbasket got to do with hell? One of our fundy pastors said it while preaching and I wanted to laugh. It’s such a stupid statement. At least the “split hell wide open” phrase makes sense. The idea being I guess that you are so rotten that when you enter hell, it will be some grand entrance like the entrance of the life of the party to the party! Oh look everyone, there he is! And they all applaud. 😈

      1. I was thinking of the same phrase. But honestly, I have never figured out what a “hand basket” is anyway, and why someone would be going to hell inside of one…

        Maybe it is one of those out dated fundy words like “movie house” that show just how out of touch with reality they are or pretend to be.

        1. BTW, I didn’t know what “railgun” was either. After looking it up on Wikipedia, I am guessing my source of ignorance is the fact that I rarely play computer games… am I right?

        2. Maybe it’s a basket filled with severed hands from all those women in the old testament that dared to “touch the junk”???? 😈 😈 🙄

        3. “Hell in a handbasket” is from Shakespeare (Richard III if I remember rightly). Consequently it is a noble contribution to the English language 😀

          It’s worth noting that Shakespeare is talking about Richard experiening hell while still alive.

    1. That’s how I felt every time I entered through the doors of the former church… 😥

  18. I’ve heard the expression a lot; I think I first heard it in the south – I never considered it to be a southern thing.

    I’ve also never really analyzed the saying. I’ve always assumed it was hyperbole — “you are such a BIG sinner that you will split hell wide open”, such a person fitting into a too-small clothing will split it WIDE open.

    1. My uncle used to have a sticker on his car bumper that read, “Speed on, brother, Hell ain’t half full yet.”

      A more plausible theory, I think, than that one more sinner will split it wide open.

  19. This phrase, as I remember, was usually used by the high and mighty, high powered evangelists. The only pastors using it were the Hyles type.

    1. I used to hear Dr. Chappell say “America is going to Hell in a hand basket” pretty frequently.

      That is why I am personally a proponent of instituting Shariah law. That will really straighten our society out.

  20. I’ve heard the saying, but definitely have heard the “Hell in a handbasket” saying a lot more. I’ve actually used the latter a few times, but not saying someone was going to hell in a handbasket. More along the lines of, talking about the Westboro Baptist wackos, “They think America and everyone in it is going to hell in a handbasket.” Seems like it was a good place to use that saying.

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