Church

Reader Submitted Photo: Signs of Grace

80 Comments

Apparently, this is the sign for Mt. Pleasant Baptist Church in Griffin, Georgia.

Thanks to UncleWilver for passing it along.

80 thoughts on “Reader Submitted Photo: Signs of Grace”

      1. Ha! I’m sitting here watching a game and saw it come across Twitter. Wasn’t even trying for first but I couldn’t resist seeing a clean comment section! That is my first first of the new year! 😛

    2. I would have been first, but I’ve been studying concordances, lexicons, and commentaries for the Scripture reference for “Stop smoking; I’ll be your God”. If anyone knows it, please inform me.

      1. You can put that study to rest, as I am positive it isn’t in the Bible. 👿 🙁 😥

      2. Clearly your concordance is incomplete. It’s very clearly written in the Book of Second Opinions (the penciled-in book written on the empty pages at the end of the Bible), chapter 7, verse 23,

        “Cry aloud to all the congregation, and let all the people hear, that whosoever shall cause the end of the cigarette to be lit, and shall inhale the smoke thereof, and shall cause the smoke to billow from thy throat, the same shall be denied salvation.” It’s the same chapter that talks about pants on women and CCM (for those concerned about context). 😉

        (Please don’t kill me, grammarians. I’m not an expert on modern English grammar, so I know I probably killed the old English 😳 )

        1. Ok, ya got me. Usually people need to know me in person to make that diagnosis. Good job! 😀

  3. That’s some serious talent, it takes a special person to mash so many contradictory ideas into so few words.

  4. Quotation marks indicating that this isn’t really the voice of God, just “The Voice of God”.

  5. Work, work, work…

    Come to our “salvation seminar” and we will show you how you can work for God’s approval!

    This brings to mind Matt 23:15
    Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.

  7. That’s just too good. Reminds me of the time a deacon in our church shouted out “take a double-barrel to it!” when the preacher said we should not be a slave to TV.

    1. Hahahahahaha! That would be one that would be quoted around my dinner table FOREVER. 😆

    2. Inspired by Elvis? I’ll admit there is something horribly satisfying about blasting away some jerk spouting nonsense on the TV. 😛

    4. No Phone C.P. = No Phone Calls Please

      More typically it’s abbreviate No C.P., however (as in, “no calls please”). He’s added phone in there and thrown it out of whack. Kind of like he seems to have added works to salvation and thrown that out of whack, too.

      😉

      1. Is that what it means??

        That makes it even worse. “We have a phone but please don’t call us.”

      3. C.P. = Cigarette People as in No Phone use for Cigarette People. Get rid of your other master, make God your one and only, say goodbye to your smokes, and then you get to use the phone.

        1. ^like

          C.P. could be “Come Personally” as in “Don’t call us, but come in person.” But really, why use an abbreviation when no one who reads it knows what it means?

          Then again, why use unnecessary quotation marks, enigmatic anchors, and a colon after the hour if you’re not going to include the minutes?

          The whole sign is baffling. Also, I can’t imagine this sign attracting ANYONE. I wouldn’t want to go to a meeting led by the maker of this sign – kinda scary.

      1. Haha maybe this was an “oops” sign from someone else? After all, if you look closely, the anchors are stickers so might be covering something else up. Maybe they got a discount because half the sign was already done for someone else who didn’t want it. :p

    6. When I worked with disabled adults, CP or C.P. meant “cerebral palsy.” I don’t know what cerebral palsy has to do with “No Phone” or “Visitors Welcome,” though.

      1. 😯 So the sign is saying they don’t have a phone command post? *twitch*

        (though, to be fair, I don’t think my church has one either 😀 )

  10. So confused by this sign. I thought money was suppose to be the “other” big master. I had no idea that it was tobacco. Does this let those who are addicted to alcohol, drugs, porn, overeating, etc off the hook? Ow! Now my head is hurting.

  11. What a f—–d up concept of grace. God accepts us only if we straighten up and fly right.

    Unfortunately, this is what a large part of the world understands to be the gospel. Kinda says something about the church and the quality of its witness, doesn’t it?

  12. So you have to quit smoking before God will save you? When I was saved I was an alcoholic and I smoked. I am thankful that someone shared with me the message of grace. I sure would have hated to stop drinking and smoking and still go to hell because of a works based salvation.

    1. Very powerful, that right there. Bless you, and thank you for speaking truth. Unlike this asinine sign…. 🙄

  14. I’m not quite sure what this sign is trying to say, or why there are anchors on it.

  15. In response to the hidden text: Maybe they get a lot of people coming into the church asking to use the phone? We had that a lot at the church I used to work for. I even had a lady come in one time asking to use my cell phone because she needed to call CPS in New Mexico (the church is in Texas) to see if she could get her kids back. I let her. Twice. What a weird thing that was. Actually, we had a lot of very strange people come in and ask very strange questions…gotta love working at a church. 🙂

    2. I live about 10 miles from Griffin, GA. I cannot imagine this church would get an inordinate amount of foot-traffic coming in to ask to use their phone. 😆

  16. You say this is from Mt. “Pleasant” Baptist Church? Perhaps Mt. Agony might be more appropriate?

  17. Stop smoking and I’ll be your god.
    Give your money in the offering and I love you long time.
    Go save others and you be my number one favorite.

    Performance religion… it’s how your god rolls.

  18. This is definitely a works salvation, just what Fundies claim not to believe in. I was always told you come to God and let Him work to clean up your life, help you quit your bad habits etc. Not that you have to clean up first. The church is presented as a hospital for the sick, where you come as you are and let God work. Jesus said the sick have need of a physician, not the healthy. So this being on a Fundy church seems out of place. I didn’t hear anything like this in Fundyville. 🙄

    1. This church’s altar call song is not “Just As I Am,” but “Just As Soon As I’ve Perfected Myself.”

  19. I am trying to picture the “Salvation Seminar” and here is what I came up with.

    A mildewey smelling basement with folding chairs and stale donuts, a MOg in a cheap suit and tracts at the door. A couple of lonely scraggley people who look like they could use a good meal and a shower wander in, the MOg begins the meeting with a hymn and then proceeds to preach, (iow: assault verbally) a good ol down home sermon on sin, death and hell. The poor people who have sat through the seminar leave needing more than ever a drink and a smoke. 🙁

    1. I see Chis Farley as Matt Foley, screaming hoarsely about living in a van, down by the river… 😉

  20. I considered stopping by for the Salvation Seminar one evening, but it was Eat & Skeet night at the range. A man has to have priorities, you know.

    1. Eat & Skeet Night sounds fun.

      Remind me not to come on Booze & Skeet Night, though. That sounds dangerous.

  21. Misquoting Scripture and then using it to teach heresy. Isn’t that what they accuse the cults of doing? Hmmm. Maybe this IS one of those cults….

  22. I am so confused. I understand what the words mean individually, but I can’t get them to make sense in the order in which they are written.

    Salvation: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  24. What’s with the anchors? Is this church on the Georgia coast, and maybe they get sailors who smoke?

    I got to stop looking at that sign. Every second I look at it, I can feel myself getting stupider and stupider.

    1. This church is sorta near Atlanta. “Stupid” and “Stupider” wrote the sign.

    2. This church is about 37 miles south of the Atlanta airport, and 3 1/2 to 4 hours from the coast. There is nothing remotely nautical around it.

      @John is correct about “speshul”, but only because the 20% are so memorable that the rest of us aren’t noticed.

        1. That depends on how speshul I feel. It’s actually a made up number to bolster whatever point I’m trying to make. In this instance, I have left it up to the reader to decide.

          Lets just say I’m glad I don’t live in the city limits.

  25. HA! This sign makes God sound like a tween. “If you stop smoking, I’ll be your God. Also, if you stop listening to worldly music, start wearing jean jumpers, and shun Billy Cartwright because he has side burns- then I’ll be your BFF!” *Promise*

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