awesom…i love all the c-word motivational posters keep them coming
Yes. And may I say, considering (consideration?) Darrell has every reason to take a break from blogging at the moment, I’m really enjoying them even more 🙂
LOL! Did you come up with that yourself? These are funny.
Yes, all the posters this week are original creations by me with the exception of the photographs which remain the property of their respective owners.
Bow ties are awfully close to clerical collars, which are worn by liberal compromisers and Catholics. Therefore, they are an “appearance of evil,” and should be avoided. 👿
I wondered Why I never got asked to “prayoutloudbrother” when I wear mine.
Darrell, I see you’re channeling The Doctor again. I’m with Amy Pond on this one, though. Sorry. Lose the bow tie. 😉
And I’m with the Doctor; bow ties are cool. So are fezzes. 😈
Don’t forget stetsons! Stetsons are cool, too 😀
Sorry, I’m on the pro-bow tie side 🙂
The last Doctor didn’t wear a bowtie! And in fact, after saving the Earth, and rescuing Rose Tyler and leaving her in another dimension, he never regenerated either! That’s what happened! I saw it! Fade to black!
😈
^ Whosternation. 😉
I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.
Reading the Bible and seeing what it actually says was a big part of my leaving Fundystan. I was trained to read certain verses and see the fundy interpretation of those verses, not what they really said.
I think bow ties are cool. Though I cannot remember the last time I wore a tie of any kind! All my ties are stuffed into a Wal-mart bag and are on a shelf in my closet.
It’s fun reading the Bible, reading verses you’ve been taught from all the time you were in Fundyville and seeing things in them other than what the fundy’s teach. They seem to limit the Bible in so many ways. And of course they twist verses and take them out of context just as they always accuse other denominations of doing. Nothing like the pot calling the kettle black. 🙄
When I started attending an Episcopal church, I noticed two things:
1. The average Episcopalian couldn’t tell a biblical quotation from Shakespeare. Many couldn’t tell Scripture from Poor Richard’s Almanac.
2. The scripture readings in church kept coming back to caring for the poor.
At first, I thought, “Typical liberals, just keep reading their favorite verses over and over and ignoring the rest.” Then I realized that these weren’t just the same handful of verses recycled—the Bible really did talk that much about caring for the poor. Turns out I knew the Fundies’ favorite verses really well, but there were certain topics the Bible emphasized that they selectively ignored.
That was a subject that I was surprised to learn about in the Bible. To this day I cannot understand why such a large portion of the Bible is ignored by fundies. They claim to preach “the whole counsel” but they skip the parts that they disagree with.
It sure does and nothing brings the blessing of God faster. The fundys like to leave this out because it might mean someone gives less to the church or to the mission fund or the school fund or the pastor’s vacation fund. They treat the poor of the church like losers and really give you a lot of grief if you ever have a need and come to them. I’ve had friends tell me what they went through. Sometime when this topic is brought up I will tell that whole story. How insulting it was! Oh they have their hands out for your money but just you be in need and see how cheerfully they give in return! 👿
All your ties stuffed in a walmart bag on a shelf is a sure sign of recovery!! Good for you. The female equivalent is “I don’t wear jean skirts ever anymore”. I was decluttering my clothing and came accross the accursed long blue jean skirt that was worn only because of fundy church and then only rarely, I was surprised at the feelings of disgust and good riddens I had while putting it in the get rid of pile, I think I shuddered a bit too. 😕
I only own one skirt and one dress. I just don’t have occasion or need to wear them any more.
I guess the “Constipation” poster will come a few days after all the Thankgiving goodies.
😆 😆 😆
*dies laughing*
Just be sure to keep it away from your eyes, it messes with your prayers.
I see I wasn’t the only one thinking that constipation ought to be the next poster.
I was thinking it would be “Conviction”
Given the way a lot of the folks in the Bible Belt eat, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if constipation is a problem.
Bow ties just look silly to me. I always see Dagwood Bumstead wearing his red bow tie to his office. At least one way in which fundy men are able to express some personality is in their ties. I have seen men wearing all kinds of patterns on their ties and I like to comment on them. One from my old church in Michigan had different colors of scoops of ice cream on his and I’d always tell him that tie looked delicious lol!
It’s true that a tie is a good way to express a little individuality. I used to have several cartoon ties when I was in high school. . .Pillsbury Doughbooy, Taz, Bugs Bunny, etc. Of course, I grew up, and they also went out of style, so I don’t have anything like that anymore. I haven’t worn a tie in over a year now, since I left my previous accounting firm. Sometimes I wish I had a reason to wear my ties now. I still have about 20 nice classy ties, but I’m not going to a fundy church just so I can have an excuse to wear them.
JoeR, The Pilsbury Doughboy and Bugs Bunny NEVER go out of style. Taz, he was a fad and should be treated as such.
I remember wearing a clip on bow tie with my suit when I was little. To this day I’m not a big fan of ties.
I had to look that word up
Love the Doctor reference; he makes bow ties “cool” (but he doesn’t have to say it that often).
Anyway, a Bible reading church member is only a terror to un-Biblical practices. A pastor who is taking the oversight of the church according to Scripture does not have to fear members who read the Bible.
But to the “keep ’em too busy to think” crowd, there are only so many times that answering “What does this verse mean?” with the statement “It means you need to do more soul-winning” before that answer does not work.
Next step is to preach against those who look for obscure passages to “question” the pastoral “wisdom”…. been there, done that.
For all of that work and worry that you’re not good enough stands the Scripture, with Jesus Christ saying “My yoke is EASY and my burden is LIGHT” Hallelujah! What a blessing!
Thanks, Darrell, for the web site, and blessings upon your newest child!
That verse means a lot to me. My husband and I got into a church plant a few years ago that turned out to be as demanding as any IFB I’ve been to. We came to realize that the pastor was unqualified because of his temper, and was only there to try to build a name for himself (he was trying to be the next Erwin McMannus). He wanted people at church at 7 am, he’d call people up last minute and want some huge crazy act of service. I think he knew I knew something was up with the church’s money when I stopped giving in the weekly offering, but gave services instead, aside from my asking every couple weeks about a church budget. His messages were turning into book reviews and his philosophy on life. He didn’t open a Bible the last 6 mos we were there. He became irate when my husband told him we were leaving.
A week later, we were visiting a new church, and the fill-in pastor preached on that passage. It was like confirmation from God that we had done right. A few weeks later, we got confirmation from some friends that our former pastor had diverted church money into personal projects, and had spent church money at massage parlor with happy ending package!
Darrell got the hovertext dead on. If they weren’t, I wouldn’t wear them. The real, tie them yourself kind, not a sissy clip-on.
And, it really is amazing how scripture comes alive when you read it in understandable language as a complete story, not as a series of bumper sticker sayings to be twisted to one particular viewpoint. My favorite scripture passage to “adapt” is Eph. 4:28 “Let him that stole, steal.” Treated as a true fundy with an agenda.
A little cut and paste works wonders with that verse:
Ephesians 4:28 – Let him that stole, steal; no more working with his hands
Since punctuation is newer than the original autographs, why not? Oh, wait–King Jimmy’s boys had new revelation. I keep forgetting that even the KJV punctuation is re-inspired. (Yes-I have actually heard this)
I have heard that too. Once on deputation I was asked if I believed the King James Bible was completely inspired including the punctuation, capitalization, italicized words and chapter and verse divisions. That church didn’t support me.
Not sure if fundies LIKE consternation because for me, like several of you, it was reading the Bible that showed me that the IFB were wrong on several issues that they’d made essential: music, being in the world, and helping the poor for example.
They don’t. Consternation=”bitterness”
I always took it to mean 50% constipation and 50% concern.
That’s that after church potluck feeling. I’ve always tried to avoid them. I know lots of people really enjoy them, but potluck has always been bad luck for me.
They’re bad for weight control, that’s for sure. 😉
I used to focus on reading my Bible to block out the ranting from the pulpit. Many times my husband would have to read Scripture out loud before we went to sleep to “deprogram” what we heard in the message. When we left that church, one of the reasons we told the pastor was he was not “right dividing the word”.
It is a horrible shame that anyone would have to try and “undo” what they had heard in church by actually {gasp} READING SCRIPTURE. That is painful to read. Absolutely makes my heart ache.
I used to read my Bible during the sermon.
I was considered one of those most deficient in the youth department in the Reading The Bible department because of my Verse A Week AWANA record (The chapter and verse requirement got me every time! If it had just been memorizing the text, I would have been average.) and the fact I just didn’t read my Bible every day on any set schedule.
Meanwhile, I was one of the only people in the youth group who could probably do better than guessing in an ‘is this statement in the Bible’ quiz.
And when I finally left the SBC, I quickly became known in the new church for the scriptural knowledge I supposedly couldn’t have in the old church because I don’t do memorization well!
I would read my Bible during church too!…especially during the yell-y parts. Or when he’d take one phrase out of a verse and preach on it..I’d read the whole passage. But that made me know the Bible..so then I had to leave.
That last sentence: perfect.
So, Darrell, where do you stand on that whole Fez/Stetson debate?
Inside jokes might not be cool, but they’re fun.
For fundies, fezzes are definitely uncool. Fezzes are worn by Shriners, who are a body of Freemasons. All fundies know that Masons are evil. And ‘fez’ is spelled with a ‘z’ and that sounds like ‘p’ which stands for ‘pool’. 😉
I guess I have backslidden to the point of no return. In my possession are 5 or 6 bowties (maybe more), 2 fezzes, and at least 5 different scripture translations (hard copies–more if you count computer programs)
Thanks to all of you who have shown me what a horrible excuse for a fundy I am.
Music Man reference FTW! 😀
Maybe I should wear I tie if I go to my hubby’s fundy church with him again? Since I’m a female, it might be fun! 😆
Conscription – Mandatory church attendance, soul-winning, etc. if you want to do anything in the church. (Or even be looked upon as a real Christian.)
I vote for “Conflagration,” and we all make fun of that great SOTL classic film, “The Burning Hell.”. (I have just enough emotional baggage leftover to look around nervously to see who’s going to call me an apostate heretic…)
…although “Constipation” keps making me giggle. Because I tend to be a ninny. 😆
Constipation would explain a lot of what we see out of some of these people.
Been there, done that. For a group that allegedly is all about the Bible, fundamentalists appear to have totally missed or have twisted the scriptures.
I vote that the next one be on Cacchination. Everyone knows that any good fundy sermon usually has one point that sacrifices clarity for alliteration.
Truthfully Calcification would probably be more appropriate.
Darrell. You’ve been alliterating all week.
Can you use words that one doesn’t need a dictionary to read?
Probably, but that wouldn’t be as much fun. 😉
I’m seeing this post a day late…but amazingly, the Emperor’s New Clothes story has come to my mind a lot lately. I’ve left the mind control church, and on top of that I’ve been outspoken about what I find wrong with the whole picture (yes, on facebook), and go figure, the response goes mostly so far as to diagnose me as having problems (bitterness is usually the one mentioned). No one wants to hear the things I’m bringing up. It’s like I keep pointing to the naked emperor, but that is all being ignored, something is wrong with me for pointing it out. Everywhere else in the sane world you can talk about things, bring up problems, deal with things in the open. It’s considered healthy. Being from Germany, I can’t even help thinking about Nazi Germany and how you couldn’t speak your mind openly then. That was not a healthy culture, hello? I’M NOT SAYING IFB CHURCH IS LIKE NAZI GERMANY IN CASE SOMEONE TRIES TO TWIST MY WORDS AROUND HERE, I’M JUST MAKING A COMPARISON ABOUT HEALTHY AND SANE VERSUS UNHEALTHY AND INSANE ENVIRONMENTS. Glad I’m out of this mess.
Bow ties are cool.
Best hover text ever!
Comments are closed.
A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.
Indeed.
awesom…i love all the c-word motivational posters keep them coming
Yes. And may I say, considering (consideration?) Darrell has every reason to take a break from blogging at the moment, I’m really enjoying them even more 🙂
LOL! Did you come up with that yourself? These are funny.
Yes, all the posters this week are original creations by me with the exception of the photographs which remain the property of their respective owners.
Bow ties are awfully close to clerical collars, which are worn by liberal compromisers and Catholics. Therefore, they are an “appearance of evil,” and should be avoided. 👿
I wondered Why I never got asked to “prayoutloudbrother” when I wear mine.
Darrell, I see you’re channeling The Doctor again. I’m with Amy Pond on this one, though. Sorry. Lose the bow tie. 😉
And I’m with the Doctor; bow ties are cool. So are fezzes. 😈
Don’t forget stetsons! Stetsons are cool, too 😀
Sorry, I’m on the pro-bow tie side 🙂
The last Doctor didn’t wear a bowtie! And in fact, after saving the Earth, and rescuing Rose Tyler and leaving her in another dimension, he never regenerated either! That’s what happened! I saw it! Fade to black!
😈
^ Whosternation. 😉
I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.
Reading the Bible and seeing what it actually says was a big part of my leaving Fundystan. I was trained to read certain verses and see the fundy interpretation of those verses, not what they really said.
I think bow ties are cool. Though I cannot remember the last time I wore a tie of any kind! All my ties are stuffed into a Wal-mart bag and are on a shelf in my closet.
It’s fun reading the Bible, reading verses you’ve been taught from all the time you were in Fundyville and seeing things in them other than what the fundy’s teach. They seem to limit the Bible in so many ways. And of course they twist verses and take them out of context just as they always accuse other denominations of doing. Nothing like the pot calling the kettle black. 🙄
When I started attending an Episcopal church, I noticed two things:
1. The average Episcopalian couldn’t tell a biblical quotation from Shakespeare. Many couldn’t tell Scripture from Poor Richard’s Almanac.
2. The scripture readings in church kept coming back to caring for the poor.
At first, I thought, “Typical liberals, just keep reading their favorite verses over and over and ignoring the rest.” Then I realized that these weren’t just the same handful of verses recycled—the Bible really did talk that much about caring for the poor. Turns out I knew the Fundies’ favorite verses really well, but there were certain topics the Bible emphasized that they selectively ignored.
That was a subject that I was surprised to learn about in the Bible. To this day I cannot understand why such a large portion of the Bible is ignored by fundies. They claim to preach “the whole counsel” but they skip the parts that they disagree with.
It sure does and nothing brings the blessing of God faster. The fundys like to leave this out because it might mean someone gives less to the church or to the mission fund or the school fund or the pastor’s vacation fund. They treat the poor of the church like losers and really give you a lot of grief if you ever have a need and come to them. I’ve had friends tell me what they went through. Sometime when this topic is brought up I will tell that whole story. How insulting it was! Oh they have their hands out for your money but just you be in need and see how cheerfully they give in return! 👿
All your ties stuffed in a walmart bag on a shelf is a sure sign of recovery!! Good for you. The female equivalent is “I don’t wear jean skirts ever anymore”. I was decluttering my clothing and came accross the accursed long blue jean skirt that was worn only because of fundy church and then only rarely, I was surprised at the feelings of disgust and good riddens I had while putting it in the get rid of pile, I think I shuddered a bit too. 😕
I only own one skirt and one dress. I just don’t have occasion or need to wear them any more.
I guess the “Constipation” poster will come a few days after all the Thankgiving goodies.
😆 😆 😆
*dies laughing*
Just be sure to keep it away from your eyes, it messes with your prayers.
I see I wasn’t the only one thinking that constipation ought to be the next poster.
I was thinking it would be “Conviction”
Given the way a lot of the folks in the Bible Belt eat, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if constipation is a problem.
Bow ties just look silly to me. I always see Dagwood Bumstead wearing his red bow tie to his office. At least one way in which fundy men are able to express some personality is in their ties. I have seen men wearing all kinds of patterns on their ties and I like to comment on them. One from my old church in Michigan had different colors of scoops of ice cream on his and I’d always tell him that tie looked delicious lol!
It’s true that a tie is a good way to express a little individuality. I used to have several cartoon ties when I was in high school. . .Pillsbury Doughbooy, Taz, Bugs Bunny, etc. Of course, I grew up, and they also went out of style, so I don’t have anything like that anymore. I haven’t worn a tie in over a year now, since I left my previous accounting firm. Sometimes I wish I had a reason to wear my ties now. I still have about 20 nice classy ties, but I’m not going to a fundy church just so I can have an excuse to wear them.
JoeR, The Pilsbury Doughboy and Bugs Bunny NEVER go out of style. Taz, he was a fad and should be treated as such.
I remember wearing a clip on bow tie with my suit when I was little. To this day I’m not a big fan of ties.
I had to look that word up
Love the Doctor reference; he makes bow ties “cool” (but he doesn’t have to say it that often).
Anyway, a Bible reading church member is only a terror to un-Biblical practices. A pastor who is taking the oversight of the church according to Scripture does not have to fear members who read the Bible.
But to the “keep ’em too busy to think” crowd, there are only so many times that answering “What does this verse mean?” with the statement “It means you need to do more soul-winning” before that answer does not work.
Next step is to preach against those who look for obscure passages to “question” the pastoral “wisdom”…. been there, done that.
For all of that work and worry that you’re not good enough stands the Scripture, with Jesus Christ saying “My yoke is EASY and my burden is LIGHT” Hallelujah! What a blessing!
Thanks, Darrell, for the web site, and blessings upon your newest child!
That verse means a lot to me. My husband and I got into a church plant a few years ago that turned out to be as demanding as any IFB I’ve been to. We came to realize that the pastor was unqualified because of his temper, and was only there to try to build a name for himself (he was trying to be the next Erwin McMannus). He wanted people at church at 7 am, he’d call people up last minute and want some huge crazy act of service. I think he knew I knew something was up with the church’s money when I stopped giving in the weekly offering, but gave services instead, aside from my asking every couple weeks about a church budget. His messages were turning into book reviews and his philosophy on life. He didn’t open a Bible the last 6 mos we were there. He became irate when my husband told him we were leaving.
A week later, we were visiting a new church, and the fill-in pastor preached on that passage. It was like confirmation from God that we had done right. A few weeks later, we got confirmation from some friends that our former pastor had diverted church money into personal projects, and had spent church money at massage parlor with happy ending package!
Darrell got the hovertext dead on. If they weren’t, I wouldn’t wear them. The real, tie them yourself kind, not a sissy clip-on.
And, it really is amazing how scripture comes alive when you read it in understandable language as a complete story, not as a series of bumper sticker sayings to be twisted to one particular viewpoint. My favorite scripture passage to “adapt” is Eph. 4:28 “Let him that stole, steal.” Treated as a true fundy with an agenda.
A little cut and paste works wonders with that verse:
Ephesians 4:28 – Let him that stole, steal; no more working with his hands
Since punctuation is newer than the original autographs, why not? Oh, wait–King Jimmy’s boys had new revelation. I keep forgetting that even the KJV punctuation is re-inspired. (Yes-I have actually heard this)
I have heard that too. Once on deputation I was asked if I believed the King James Bible was completely inspired including the punctuation, capitalization, italicized words and chapter and verse divisions. That church didn’t support me.
Not sure if fundies LIKE consternation because for me, like several of you, it was reading the Bible that showed me that the IFB were wrong on several issues that they’d made essential: music, being in the world, and helping the poor for example.
They don’t. Consternation=”bitterness”
I always took it to mean 50% constipation and 50% concern.
That’s that after church potluck feeling. I’ve always tried to avoid them. I know lots of people really enjoy them, but potluck has always been bad luck for me.
They’re bad for weight control, that’s for sure. 😉
I used to focus on reading my Bible to block out the ranting from the pulpit. Many times my husband would have to read Scripture out loud before we went to sleep to “deprogram” what we heard in the message. When we left that church, one of the reasons we told the pastor was he was not “right dividing the word”.
It is a horrible shame that anyone would have to try and “undo” what they had heard in church by actually {gasp} READING SCRIPTURE. That is painful to read. Absolutely makes my heart ache.
I used to read my Bible during the sermon.
I was considered one of those most deficient in the youth department in the Reading The Bible department because of my Verse A Week AWANA record (The chapter and verse requirement got me every time! If it had just been memorizing the text, I would have been average.) and the fact I just didn’t read my Bible every day on any set schedule.
Meanwhile, I was one of the only people in the youth group who could probably do better than guessing in an ‘is this statement in the Bible’ quiz.
And when I finally left the SBC, I quickly became known in the new church for the scriptural knowledge I supposedly couldn’t have in the old church because I don’t do memorization well!
I would read my Bible during church too!…especially during the yell-y parts. Or when he’d take one phrase out of a verse and preach on it..I’d read the whole passage. But that made me know the Bible..so then I had to leave.
That last sentence: perfect.
So, Darrell, where do you stand on that whole Fez/Stetson debate?
Inside jokes might not be cool, but they’re fun.
For fundies, fezzes are definitely uncool. Fezzes are worn by Shriners, who are a body of Freemasons. All fundies know that Masons are evil. And ‘fez’ is spelled with a ‘z’ and that sounds like ‘p’ which stands for ‘pool’. 😉
I guess I have backslidden to the point of no return. In my possession are 5 or 6 bowties (maybe more), 2 fezzes, and at least 5 different scripture translations (hard copies–more if you count computer programs)
Thanks to all of you who have shown me what a horrible excuse for a fundy I am.
Music Man reference FTW! 😀
Maybe I should wear I tie if I go to my hubby’s fundy church with him again? Since I’m a female, it might be fun! 😆
Conscription – Mandatory church attendance, soul-winning, etc. if you want to do anything in the church. (Or even be looked upon as a real Christian.)
I vote for “Conflagration,” and we all make fun of that great SOTL classic film, “The Burning Hell.”. (I have just enough emotional baggage leftover to look around nervously to see who’s going to call me an apostate heretic…)
…although “Constipation” keps making me giggle. Because I tend to be a ninny. 😆
Constipation would explain a lot of what we see out of some of these people.
Been there, done that. For a group that allegedly is all about the Bible, fundamentalists appear to have totally missed or have twisted the scriptures.
I vote that the next one be on Cacchination. Everyone knows that any good fundy sermon usually has one point that sacrifices clarity for alliteration.
Truthfully Calcification would probably be more appropriate.
Darrell. You’ve been alliterating all week.
Can you use words that one doesn’t need a dictionary to read?
Probably, but that wouldn’t be as much fun. 😉
I’m seeing this post a day late…but amazingly, the Emperor’s New Clothes story has come to my mind a lot lately. I’ve left the mind control church, and on top of that I’ve been outspoken about what I find wrong with the whole picture (yes, on facebook), and go figure, the response goes mostly so far as to diagnose me as having problems (bitterness is usually the one mentioned). No one wants to hear the things I’m bringing up. It’s like I keep pointing to the naked emperor, but that is all being ignored, something is wrong with me for pointing it out. Everywhere else in the sane world you can talk about things, bring up problems, deal with things in the open. It’s considered healthy. Being from Germany, I can’t even help thinking about Nazi Germany and how you couldn’t speak your mind openly then. That was not a healthy culture, hello? I’M NOT SAYING IFB CHURCH IS LIKE NAZI GERMANY IN CASE SOMEONE TRIES TO TWIST MY WORDS AROUND HERE, I’M JUST MAKING A COMPARISON ABOUT HEALTHY AND SANE VERSUS UNHEALTHY AND INSANE ENVIRONMENTS. Glad I’m out of this mess.
Bow ties are cool.
Best hover text ever!