Odds and Ends

The Path From Fundyland

152 Comments

Day 1. I’m a Bible-Believing, KJV Only, Skirts on Women, No Drums In Church, 100% Against Compromising Fundamentalist. Any abuse or corruption in the movement are either lies of Satan against God’s men or else rare and isolated incidents. I’m keeping on until the Rapture! Glory!

Day 529. I’m a Fundamentalist but there seem to be more problems than I first counted on. Scandals, hypocrisy, and the way the preacher seems mad about everything is getting old. Most of the sermons I hear anymore just don’t make any logical sense and it’s hard for me to even take it seriously. Still…I’m doing some good here teaching my Sunday School class and working the bus ministry so I’d better stay and help those who I can. All my friends are here anyway. At least I think they’re my friends. You can never really be sure anymore.

Day 2,378 I’m becoming more and more uneasy with Fundamentalism. Whenever I tell someone I’m a Fundamentalist I follow by giving them a fifteen minute explanation to let them know I’m not one of “those” people. I listen Michael Card music on the sly. I also tried reading an NIV the other day and it made a lot more sense than I thought it would. I’m just really, really tired of trying to keep up with all the rules but where would I go if I left? I have to believe there’s someplace where I can be at peace.

Day 3,109 I don’t know what I am anymore. I’m so angry at myself for letting cruel and arrogant people manipulate and control me for so long. I spend a lot of time these days talking about the errors fundamentalism with anybody who will listen. Name me any fundy camp and I’ll by happy to list you their major scandals and cover-ups for the last fifteen years. Maybe I’ll start a blog…

Day 5,176 I haven’t thought of myself as a fundamentalist in a long time. It’s just as well. A good fundamentalist has to be able to get angry a lot and I just don’t have the stamina to do that anymore. I’m still not sure where I’m going to from here but I’m starting to meet a lot of former fundies who are now Methodists, Presbyterians, Anglicans, and even a few Catholics. It seems like there may be a place for me out there. I have to hope that’s true…

Day 10,439 Independent Baptist Fundamentalism? Boy, that takes me back to some memories I haven’t thought about in years. Well, kids, you just bring me that glass of sweet tea and sit down here at grandpa’s knee and he’ll tell you some stories that will make your hair curl. You see it all started back in 1963…

152 thoughts on “The Path From Fundyland”

        1. Susan,
          I agree. I was going to write Darrell and ask if he was secretly using me as a case study for this post..it is eerie how much I’ve followed this path almost to the letter… :mrgreen:

        2. Me too! But replace “KJV-onlyism” and “pants on women” with drinking, wearing shorts, etc. I wasn’t in the extremely hardcore Fundy camp.

  2. This sounds like my dad. He knew things were messed up, but just wouldn’t let go. Finally he has and is now a non-Indpendent Fundamentalist Baptist! Good times!

  4. I was coming to grips with the truth in college, but felt like I was wrong. Then, a collection of events led me to my final adieu.

    The events were hurtful, but they led me to freedom. Funny thing is that I was looking on a FB page the other day of someone I went to college with. He had a bunch of pics on there of all of us back at fundy u. I was in one of them and it brought back the memories of my utter distaste for my fundy u that I got in my later years there. I finished because I wanted to finish, but by the time I graduated, I hated the place.

        1. I went to TBC in the early to mid 90’s but I don’t know if we ever met.

          Yes I do know fundys don’t like this site but I am at the point where I don’t care anymore. People have been hurt and their voices need to be heard. And I’m sure you feel the same way.

          I still hang around the fundy movement but I can see myself leaving.

        2. Bravo, Jason, and welcome!

          I cut ties with Trinity long ago for a LOT of reasons, some I’ve mentioned here and some I haven’t because they are just too painful to discuss.

          You’ll find this site healing, because you’ll find that you’re not alone in your thinking. I’m amazed by the kindred spirits that I’ve found here and how we all have experienced the same things and arrived at the same place. The people here are real and refreshing. I can say what I want, and not worry that I’m going to get preached down for it. It’s nice.

          There’s also a lot of fun, too. SFL Baptist Church is our fictional little church. Tony Mel is the children’s choir director. There IS a white piano. There are many pastors. And, I, am here sitting on my butt cushion, hanky in hand, with my floral and lace Bible cover that looks like a purse, and my shoes off. If I get pissed at someone, it all moves to the other side of the church. I also teach the Superior Christian Womanhood Class.

          So, again, welcome and its good to have a fellow Trinitiite around. 😉

        3. I’ll tell you Natalie my journey has been an interesting one. I left TBC and eventually transferred to a IFB college in California. It was far worse than TBC. But the thing that burst the dam for me was when in 2006 I found out what Dr Gray was doing and how TBC was covering it up. After that I started looking at fundamentalism with new eyes. I did not like what I saw.

        4. That was one of the biggies for me, and it devastated me. I always grew up with such a high regard for Dr. Gray and then I found out the truth, the rose-colored glasses came off, and I began to truly see the ugly in so much of fundamentalism. College was hard for me, because the longer I was there, the less I fit in, and by the time I was a senior, I just did the bare minimum to graduate. I hated it. But, I still held to the IFB beliefs and justified so much of it. 2006 was the final straw, and then it was done for me.

          If you’ve signed up on the forum, send me a PM.

        5. My brother went to Trinity in the mid 90s and was going to be a full time minister. A few years into school, he dropped out and became an athiest. He’s so smart and knows everything about the Bible that I do, there’s nothing to argue with him about, his mind is made up. Hate that school and what it did to him.

        7. wait, late 90s. were you there then? I graduated from PCC in ’95 and he’s 6 years younger than me. I think he dropped out in ’99.

  5. At almost 11,000 days out, I’ll tell you it does get better. You chalk it up to a great learning experience. And, the stories make great fodder for Bible study and sermon illustrations. “I was so gnostic… .” “How gnostic were you?”

    1. I’m slightly past 3,109 right now, and believe me, it feels like it will never get better. 😕 It’s good to know that there actually is hope.

  6. Start with truth, mix in some manipulation, add some guilt, and stir it all together with judgment and Voila… you have a good potent batch of fundamentalism.

    1. When I first glanced at your post I misinterpreted “Voila” as “Vodka”. That mix would be more interesting.

      1. Yours would have resulted in some less uptight fundys…but then again, isn’t that one of the requirements?

  7. This site has really helped me along this path . . . I was floundering around on my own wondering what was going on and this site showed me I was headed in the right direction.

    2. HA! You must’ve missed Fundy U week! I literally had flashback nightmares, thanks to Darrell.

        1. It took 70+ years for my Fundy Grandma to stop saying the N-word and to treat black people like human beings. It took a LOT of humility for her to admit that she’d been wrong and she was rewarded with a lot of love from the black nurses who cared for her while she was dying.

          So, yeah it can take a while sometimes but the change is so worth waiting for. 🙂

        2. May not be therapuetic (sp?), but I’m not truly here for any kind of therapy, just for the mockery.

        3. “….This ain’t therapy, it’s purgatory.”

          Say 3 Hail Mary’s and 6 Our Father’s (reaching way back to my days as a catholic 😆 ).

    3. I think “Recovering Fundamentalist” is more what some of us are. Give us a dose of that ole’ time religion, and -sometimes- we have a relapse.

      Every now and then I go back to visit, even though I am aware that this church is not my home, I’m just a passing through.

    4. Sometimes therapy is depressing. It’s hard to look back and wonder how stupid you were to get sucked in. But this site has helped me realize that no, I’m not just paranoid. This site also helped push my husband out of the fundy church we were going to.

      We’re less than a year out of fundyism and I’m still having trouble going to church, even though the one we’re at now is nothing like the one we were going to. I keep waiting for the trouble signs to develop.

      1. Oh, Rose, me too. I’m really having trouble going to church even though the church I am currently attending is so much better than the IFB churches I have always attended. Church is just forever tainted I guess. A LOT of bad stuff happened in the context of church. Surely I would have been better off not ever even going. Sadly I say that 50 some odd years later. 🙁

  9. How many times have I heard stories like this?
    I once knew of a guy who graduated from BJU, later went on to get his M.Div. at Gordon-Conwell, got ordained in the United Church of Christ at Park Street Church (the evangelical Congregational bastion in Boston), and then did postgraduate work at Boston University and a doctorate at Hartford Seminary. He wound up serving a UCC church in New Jersey that he pushed toward being openly gay-friendly.
    People definitely do have their pilgrimages.

    1. Wow. My impression is that fundies, or even conservatives, in the UCC these days are seriously rare.

      1. I mean religious conservatives, of course– I’m not speaking of political affiliations here.

  10. I don’t know that I was ever fully Day 1; I have been at day 529, but for my former church, not fundamentalism. I’m definitely not at Day 2378, but I can identify with Day 3109 as far as my former church.

  11. “The way the preacher seems mad about everything is getting old.” — Very much so! (Although in my case it was more my dad than the pastor.) Being angry all the time is exhausting and it starts destroying your spirit. I’m opting for love, joy, peace, and patience now!

    “I listen Michael Card music on the sly.” — For many years, I wouldn’t listen to Christian radio, but I did have tapes of Steve Green and Michael Card.

    1. This is so true, the part about being tired of getting angry.
      I remember after a long and heated argument with one of my friends, I thought to myself that “being judgmental was a ton of work.” I think that was one of landmarks on my way out. I just couldn’t keep it up. I didn’t want to be upset at people all of the time.

      Some people have actually gotten mad at me for not “getting angry enough” at “sin” (read: perceived deviation from cultural norms). I just shrug and say that I pick and choose my battles. Seems like we should save the wrath for sin alone.

    2. I have said this countless times: fundamentalism is just as emotionally driven as any of the evengelical or charismatic movements they attack. The difference is that the fundamentalist thrives on the negative emotions of anger and guilt (or indignation and conviction if you prefer).

  12. My pilgrimage was far shorter, but I went through all of those same things, but all within about 3 years time.

    I was at church yesterday for a wonderful time worshipping God and when it was over, I wondered once again how I ever let myself become a fundamentalist, even for such a short time period.

  13. I’ve been thinking about doing this, Darrell, for a little while. But this post is the perfect place to say what I want to say.

    Thanks for making the transition from “fundy” to just plain Christian that much easier and less scary. Sometimes it felt like I was really going to hell for disagreeing with people; it seemed like when I looked around outside of the movement at my fellow-bailers all I saw were people who had spurned Christianity for good and I was afraid that I would somehow wind up being that way. It’s nice to know that the opposite of IFB is not some kind of crazy God-hating existence, but rather just peace.

    So, thanks for everything you do! 🙂

    1. The fundies present it as all or nothing: “agree with us or you’re probably not even saved. Leave us and your life is doomed.” In this attempt to keep people in their churches, they twist Scripture and create despair in some people’s minds, perhaps pushing them into rejecting Christianity altogether. Fundies want to see everything as black and white, all good or all bad, not realizing that every human is flawed; none of us and none of our churches or theological systems are 100% correct and good.

      A nearby pastor preached against my husband, basing his message on those who preach another Gospel. That passage says “let them be accursed” and it made me very sad that 1) he was wrongfully telling others that we’d departed from the Gospel which we hadn’t and 2) he was basically cursing us. But I can’t let what others think dissuade me from following where God is leading me.

      I’m glad you’ve found the peace of God! 🙂

      1. PW – I am delighted that you and your husband are preaching “another Gospel”

        May God richly add His blessings to your efforts!

        1. Thanks, greg!

          It’s only been about 600 days out for me. I was happy as a “moderate” or balanced fundamentalist. (Well, I thought I was happy.) My husband is a gentle, kind man who preaches God’s Word carefully and tries to live humbly serving others. It was he who said he didn’t want to be a fundy anymore, which terrified me.

          I do apologize for always referencing our church and what we’re doing. I think I mention it too much so I’ll try to show more restraint, but we’re totally focused on this and so excited about our new direction that it’s hard not to talk about it! Stepping away from the fundy world is still so recent and the losses and pain still loom large.

    2. i TOTALLY agree. SFL is like an oasis in the desert of my former fundy life. i thank God for it every day :mrgreen:

    1. It’s whatever day you begin your departure.

      If that’s the day you’re born, you’re lucky.

  15. Approx 12,053+/- days of purgatory. That’s how long I was in the IFB. (that’s 33 years)
    Approx 379+/- days of freedom… true freedom. And yeah I am angry at myself at how easily duped I was. But in my defense ( an in defense of so many thousands who have been ensnared by the IFB) We believed because we wanted to believe, and the IFB movement capitalized on that and used our own desire to believe against us.

    1. And that is true for probably most of the Americanized religious systems out there. Anytime you give one man control to guide your beliefs then you have given him control over your entire life. This idea of the hired gun who is the voice of God that stands and lectures to a mass of people who willingly set and listen (mostly unguardedly, with theor defenses down) is a recipie for a cult. Be it Benny Hinn, smilin’ Joel Osteen, Rick Warren, Jack “I’ll slap your Grandma” Schaap, Bobby Roberson, John Piper, John McArthur, or any of a myriad of men who stand an preach every week. Such potential for power is too great a temptation for mere mortals. Even the best of them and the most well intentioned of them will at some point use that power for their own means and their own agendas. If not overtly then covertly through influence and persuasion.

    2. 6205(17yrs) for me. 750(2yrs)since my departure. “We believed because we wanted to believe, and the IFB movement capitalized on that and used our own desire to believe against us.” It felt so good to be apart of something that I thought was “right” and “good”. The surface of it all seemed so good I wanted to be a part of it. After being very very used I still didn’t want to believe it was so corrupt, shallow and empty.
      On a happy note, I took my family to a water park and we had a blast 😛 The week before we went to a movie at the theater and watched “True Grit”. This is the first theater my 17yr old had ever been in. Now that’s therepy my friends! Love’em and show’em how to have some fun! 😀 It will be ok, Thank you Lord for opening my eyes.

        1. The look on there faces when the big screen & BIG sound started was great! At the end I asked, “In the name of common sence what was wrong with that?” They all said, “Can we do it again?” 😀

      2. Are water parks supposed to be bad? I hadn’t heard that one. Is it because of the wet T-shirt results?

        1. For guys living with women in skirts and dresses and absolute modesty??? Forget the wet t-shirt!!! A swimsuit that shows legggggs is too much…then a wet t-shirt thrown in …be still my quivering loins… 😆

        3. Exactly, because if boys see swimsuits or wet clothes on girls, they have no self-control and just go around boinking everything they see.

        4. That mixed swimming/pregnancy thingy is caused by the volatile eruption of backed up frustration brought on by the inability to exercise self-control due to fundamental restrictions on co-ed interaction. One is tempted to quote Melville when the crew sighted the albino sperm whale…maybe Melville was a former fundie??

        5. Well in our little world it was considerd bad for several reasons: Nakedness & mixed swimming were bad bad.. I explained it to them this way; look they have bodies, you have a body. They are swimming, you are swimming, we are just swimming and having fun. Nothing more, nothing less. One small step at a time….

      3. Fred,
        We went to the Dells to a huge waterpark. While there, there was a busload of Amish kids. The girls wore giant blue dresses to their ankles down the twister slide.. the sad part was they were more free than when I was in the IFB world..at least they got to go..ya the outfits were atrocious but they got to go!

  16. What baffles me is how it develops. Hyles, for example, took a fairly mainstream evangelical ABC church and turned it into a bastion of fundamentalism almost overnight. Joel Osteen, whose perpetual smile I find annoying and who (probably by his own admission) is certainly no pulpit orator, has amassed the largest congregation in America. I know these are widely different examples, but in each case the pastor must have pushed certain buttons that gave him a ready audience — which begs the question, what were all these people looking for?? In each case, I find the theological presuppositions kinda vacuous, to say the least.

    1. Great observation and questions, weary. I hope you get some responses, I would like to know myself.

    2. People are always attracted to extremes aka black or white. Very seldom does thinking for yourself apply when it comes to faith. Pastor Joel constantly reminds us of the positive things God may have for us vs Hyles pointing out everything wrong. Where is truth? Somewhere in between. God is loving and wants the best for us but he is also holy . Work it out for yourself!

  17. Day 3109 is where I find myself. As soon as I left Fundyland, the Charismatics took me in. Found out the Charismatics really don’t want me either. What am I?

    2. A child of God. ((hugs)) It’s not easy finding a new place, especially when you have little experience with what it’s supposed to look like. Look for love. That’s how you’ll know His disciples–by the genuine love they have for one another.

    3. As a former charismatic turned liberated fundy I can tell you Dave, God is the only answere and if you’re luckey you’ll find some true Christians, they are out there, you can fellowship with.

      1. Thanks for the encouragement, guys. It’s difficult being somewhat fundamental but not fundamentalist, somewhat open to the gifts of the Spirit but not Charismatic, somewhat Calvinistic but not Reformed. I cringe when people from the old life come up to me, mostly not out of concern but judgment to ask, “So, where are you going to church now?” The displacement is not easy. Thanks for the encouraging words from all of you.

  18. Day 2,378 is a crucial one:

    “I’m just really, really tired of trying to keep up with all the rules but where would I go if I left? I have to believe there’s someplace where I can be at peace.”

    You see Fundamentalism has you believe that anyone who leaves is just “shopping for what they want to hear” or “rebellious.” You’ve been trained that all these minor issues are so important that you are uncomfortable in any church that varies in even the slightest. “These young boys all have long hair to their ears, I’m not sure they are Christians.” So you’ve finally come to a place where you realize that Fundamentalism isn’t for you and isn’t the only truth, but you really can’t find a place you’re willing to settle on because there is always something that differs from Fundy land. Music, dress code, hair styles, women’s role, dispensationaism, translation, expository preaching, liberals…and the list goes on and on.

    With all those hang ups it is a wonder that any of us find another church to worship in. But there is hope…there is hope. And Fundamentalism didn’t capture the corner on truth believe me. If anything they just roughed it up a bit and clocked it in self righteous nonsense so that you are utterly confused and helpless to actually find truth without them. Utter dependance, it is the only way Fundamentalism works and they know that.

    1. Spot on!

      This is why you often hear, “But ours in the ONLY Bible believing church in the entire town!”

      What a lie that was. Once I realized it was not true, I took another huge step toward freedom.

  20. When I told my fundy pastor I was leaving and would begin visiting other churches(because, yes, I was naive enough to go to him and open that awful door), I was told that my possible church of choice (a southern baptist church that was a bastion of sin because they have a contemporary service … you know, nevermind theology)did “things that we didn’t agree with”. Mainly, those things “we didn’t agree with” were having a dinner once a year with the “Methodists”, having a contemporary service, etc.

    I have to admit, I was fortunate to have a pastor that was manipulated by fundamentalism, not the manipulator of fundamentalism. He was too scared to stray from the BJU way, and this caused him to stand still rather than move and make decisions. I have to give it to the man, though – he felt he had the best intentions for his flock.

    1. There is a huge difference between the manipulated and the manipulator. I grew up in a church filled with manipulated including the pastor. They truly believe the crap they preach. They truly believe that Christianity doesn’t happen outside of their circle. In a way I putty them and hope that one day they’ll realize they’ve been played. But manipulator or manipulated doesn’t change how I feel about fundamentalism. Error is error. Sincere people can be wrong. It is just sad to watch.

    2. he felt he had the best intentions for his flock.

      That is the most dangerous of all.
      One is the pre-supposition of fellow believers being one’s flock.
      Two is the pre-supposition that you are doing things the way you do them because it is for their best… and they must not deviate from the path you have laid out for them.

      Dangerous scary stuff that.

      1. Don,

        This is so true. The idea that somehow the pastor is the shepherd and the other believers are sheep promotes an unhealthy view. When Christians are considered sheep or “dumb sheep who wander out of the way often,” it promotes pastors seeing themselves as people who must herd a bunch of animals and actually treat them like animals.

  23. All of these comments have me thinking about my Dad and what kind of fundy he is. He’s 82 and a right rough character. He sets through the sermons, and completely picks and chooses what he wants to believe and kicks the junk (which is alot where he attends) to the curb. For instance, like most fundy’s, his pastor starts preaching against Halloween in September. What does Dad think about that “My grandbabies ain’t worshipping no devil, they just having some fun, and getting alot of candy” When the fundy pastor gets to praddling on about wine being grape juice, Dad says “the bible says it’s wine, I don’t care what the pastor says”
    (isn’t it funny that the KJV is the Word of God and all we need, but when it comes to wine we need to get some reference material) Dad simply does not put the pastor on a pedestal like so many brainwashed IFB’s do, he must be immune.

  24. “… Maybe I’ll start a blog…”

    I love this at the end of Day 3,109. I wonder who that is a reference to?

    Another great job Darrell is summing up what so many of us have gone through or are going through.

    1. Actually, more like:

      “Day 5,176:
      Fundamentalist? (eye twitches) oh yeah…THOSE people! (fights urge to slap his grandmother and gel his hair)”

  26. I think I made it through the steps a lot faster because I was at a good transition point in my life anyway–graduating from grad school, moving to a state in which I knew no one, starting a career, finding a new church all on my own, establishing new social circle anyway… I think for some people a clean break is good for them. Just take a few years to get away and heal. That might even mean a geographical move. If that’s not possible, the next best thing might be to just take a leap and find a church with no overlap and lots of grace and just soak it all in.

    1. Oh, and marry someone who has no idea what you’re talking about when you reference that world. You’ll have a good time explaining it to him and realize how ridiculous it is when you have to lay it all out like that.

      But that’s not an option for everyone either… 😉

    2. That is so true! I left fundyland by joining the military. I waited to tell anyone I was leaving until I had the papers in my hand, confirming the day I should report for basic training. How nice it was. You can’t interfere with someone when they have the government behind them. 😀

      A couple weeks ago marked a year since I left on that plane. I’m very happily married to someone with no experience of IFBism. It’s ok. Come Thanksgiving he will…

        1. Lol. We will be visiting my parents together for the first time since I’ve been married. He doesn’t know what he’s in for. No amount of preparation will be enough.

        2. @ Emily
          I had to read that several times because my mind kept putting and “H” in there after preparation… 😯

  27. My journey out of Fundamentalism took approx. 3,650 days. But I am still trekking away. It’s amazing to look back and view the whole picture from an outside perspective now, and God has used that experience and perspective to help me understand His truth by contrast. That’s what I love about this site, it helps to understand the truth sometimes by considering the illogical conclusions of Fundamentalism.

    It is interesting that spiritual growth always seems to take us further AWAY from Fundamentalism. Hmmmmm…

    2. John Hardin!!! Ya know my shunning at ABT for dating my husband was where I truly started to open my eyes to the fundy world. I just love your family and I’m glad to see ya here. Thinking about my days at ABT I just keep thinking that man is seriously unstable.

    3. How true that is. I must be experiencing lots of growth because I have decided that the end of October is my last time worshipping at my church. I have been skipping a few Wednesdays and a Sunday morning here and there and I find I am dreading going. I just can’t stand the cognitive dissonance anymore. I hope I don’t lose the people I consider friends but I have to do what is right for me. I feel like my church is on life support and dying a slow, boring death. It’s not a place I want to invite people to.

      1. Good luck with this. We recently left our hyles worshipping church and have found another church that is Baptist but where the name of jack hyles is not mentioned in every sermon. You’ll soon find you have more peace and you will no longer dread Sundays. I now look forward to Sunday as this church doesn’t have Sunday school, only a morning service that doesn’t run for two hours due to a long winded preacher.

        It’s been a month since we left the old church and I haven’t seen anyone from there during that time. I do miss them but we’re meeting new people in the new church.

        I knew we wouldn’t be long for the place once I found I couldn’t in honesty hand out the church’s tract because it had false doctrine on it.

        Let us know how you do once you’re out. I’m sure you’ll find like a lot of us, a peace and joy you never knew while there. I hope you find a great church. There is life after the IFB!!! :mrgreen:

  29. I would like to share!
    Hi, my name is Jim.
    I haven’t attended or took my family to a fundy church in 5 years.

  30. Michael Card, besides being a great musician and songwriter, is a theologian who could mop the floor with any fundy preacher man-o-gawd out there. Plus, he’s one of the more shining examples of humility and true integrity in Christian music. It’s a shame that he, as well as other artists, get a bad rap from Camp Fundy.

    Jim K.

  31. I have not been addressed as “brother”â„¢ nor my wife as “sister”â„¢ since March of 2009. I have not missed it a single bit.

  32. i left in august of 2007. i’m guessing one of the deacons was assigned to me to help bring me back, because i got regular monday night calls for about 4 months!

  33. Wait, from the look of the signs, those are NC signs and they are roads not far from me. I don’t know where that whole collage of them are, though.

  36. I couldn’t help but wonder…this seems to be your story, Darrell. Were you more trying to encompass the general struggle of departing fundies here, or sharing your personal struggles?

    Either way, thanks for it. Even though I was never really a fundamentalist, I can relate to almost all these feelings through extensive exposure to the movement.

    1. It’s kind of an abstraction of my own story to a more general experience with the common refrains that I’ve heard from many, many folks going down the same path.

    1. AAAAAGGGHHH!

      This was supposed to be under JohnRF’s awesome comment above about fundamentalism and emotions.

      *beats blog with butt cushion*

  38. I am in the process of leaving the fundy church. Haven’t told my parents yet. My dad will probably just shrug his shoulders he is a Sunday morning only fundy. My mom on the other hand thinks she is fundy lite but is really a closet IFBXer. She will probably cry and tell me how I am ruining my kid’s lives. She is good with guilt trips. She will probably have my 83 year old IFB preacher grandpa call me and pray over me and my backslidden condition. I am so not looking forward to this.
    I have an better relationship with God now than I ever had in the IFB. All the IFB did was crush my spirit. Show where that is at in the Bible!

    1. I’ve seen this scenario played out several times. You’ll probably be told that your kids (if you have kids) will go straight to hell because you are leaving what is right for compromise and liberalism.

    2. The day you step foot out those fundy doors…you will feel peace inside and a big weight lifted off your shoulders.

    2. Longtime lurker delurking, here! That Alabama conglomeration of signs is in the town where I was born!

  41. I left my family’s fundy church the same week I married my husband, 3.5 years ago. Our July anniversary is lways a celebration of both. =)

  43. I left the fundy church approx. 1,935 days ago, although I wanted out about 700 days earlier.

    A huge burden was lifted off my shoulders, but I had so much to sort out. I took all the doctrine and beliefs they taught me and began examining them one at a time. I kept what the Bible actually taught, and discarded the rest. There was a lot that was erroneous.

    I began attending a new church with an expositor pastor. No guilt trips. Grace filled teaching that sometimes made me cry in my pew. It felt so good…like a healing salve. I am not “bad” if I do not agree with everything either…I find that so wonderful.

    I started out arriving late to church and sitting in the back…and leaving quickly. As time went by, I began getting more involved… Very recently, I had my first real discussion about my fundy past with my new pastor. (Yeah, it took me a while!) It was a great talk.

    Oh, and our money-obsessed fundy church kept sending us tithing envelopes for six months!

  44. Darrell,
    I appreciate this site. I actually think it’s important to contemplate both sides of fundamentalism-the part you can laugh at, and the part that is quite sobering. The 2nd part makes you realize how they truly do screw up the minds of children, and that’s not all that funny.

    Even just recently, I’ve seen comments like one above that mentions how fundies are basically angry and negative. It helps me realize where I got those traits from. I heard that approach to life at least 3 times weekly for about 25 years. It has an effect on your personality.

    Yes, some of their stuff is hilarious and easy to ridicule, but over-all it’s NOT a good way to grow up. I mean, when you hear someone like that preacher in Indiana at Hyles’ church-you get a sick feeling in your stomach. You actually feel repulsed.

  45. I was fundy from the cradle 😛 I never was gung-ho for it, just went along with it.

    I’m up to Day 3, 109 for sure, almost to 5,176.
    “All my friends are here anyway.” Whaaaaaa! How true that is. Add my family to that for good measure.

    I still haven’t read another Bible version, but I have started a blog 😀 It’s nice being able to say pretty much whatever I want, and since I set it to private no one can find out 🙂
    And when I do leave, I’m going to visit every church I can find in a 20 mile radius, just cause I can.

    1. I’ve read other versions, but I’ve never been able to visit other churches! There is one my husband has been to in the inner city on Sunday afternoon; I’d like to go with him sometime.

  46. Day 1. Cool. Answers.

    Day 529. Hmmmmmmm…

    Day 2,378. Yikes.

    Day 3109. WTH??

    Day 5176. Outta here.

    Day 10,439. Ahhhhhhh…

  50. It’s about day 1500 since i left fundyland mentally…and about day 1000 since i left for good!

    I have since changed my phone number and broken all my ties to any fundy person i have known. The ties were easily broken because they were never strong to begin with. As soon as they found out I don’t attend a IFB church anymore…they stayed away from me like the plague.

Comments are closed.