What are you doing on New Years Eve? Well, here evangelist Lee Dean describes a fundamentalist watch night service complete with “Cowbell Preaching.”
We then had Round 1 of an exciting “Cowbell” service. If you’ve never experienced one of these you’re missing out! Each of the 5 preachers were given a 10 minute allottment of time to preach. The hosting pastor was timing us and as soon as we reached our limit he would ring an old-fashioned cow bell signifying our time was up, we then had to stop, sit down, and the next preacher then launched into his message. Bro. Bragg preached a powerful message entitled “The Precious Blood of Christ”. Unbelievable message! Then Brother Sisk preached the truth about how all have sinned but followed up wonderfully with the gospel message. Very convicting yet compassionate! Then I preached an abbreviated message entitled “The Pleasures at God’s Right Hand”. Bro. Taylor then preached a challenging fiery message entitled “Just Do It!” In it he urged everyone to get busy for the Lord, worship the Lord, work for the Lord, and so on…He was fired up and urged us to do the same! Then host pastor Kevin Gibson preached how Jesus is the foundation for all great and wonderful things! He preached with passion, zeal, energy, and excitement! We then took a break to do what Baptists do best, EAT!!!We came back into the service after getting our bellies full and The Heavenly Echoes sang wonderfully for us. Then it was on to Cowbell Service Round 2!! Each preacher preached 5 minutes for this round which took us right to midnight at which point we stopped and prayed in the new year as the clock struck 12
Papyrus font purposely left intact for effect.
That’s twelve exclamation marks in eighteen sentences, including at least two fragments. I’m not entirely sure about those statistics, because my eyes were watering before the fourth line. Papyrus must die. I selected Christopher Walken to kill it.
This was called “popcorn preaching” at my aunt and uncle’s church. The two things I remember about it (I was a kid at the time) was that the preachers were so worked up that they got REALLY mad when the timer went off (they used a kitchen timer), and some refused to stop. The second thing I remember is that there were some REALLY absurd topics. One guy had this complicated process by which he came to the conclusion that we were not biblically required to forgive others.
I’m glad they used a God-blessed old fashioned cowbell and not one of these “new international” long haired rock and roll cowbells.
LOL.
And to think that some people dare say that Fundamentalists trivialize preaching! Any service that features kitchen timers, cow bells, and dinner in between must be life changing!
The outrage! How dare they!
Darn! I missed it!
I don’t know about you guys but that sounds like an awesome service to me! The only thing that could make that night any better would be to finish it off with rapture practice.
@ A.P. The week Josh was in they had one of these up at King. We went to lunch at the Japanese Resturant and they had a flyer for “An old Fashioned Cowbell service,” to be held at the Juice and Java the following weekend. Josh and I had just been talking about the Preaching Pandemonium Phenomenon known as the “Cowbell” Service. I couldn’t bring myself to go… I wish I had now.
It really is a unique marketing technique for “self-anointed” Men-o-gawd to market their abilities in a Lightning fast round of Preaching.
It is also the “Gong Show” meets “Fundy Idol…”
Preacher’s Got Talent meets the Biggest Loser(literally)…
Do well here and one could go on to “Preaching With the Stars” or maybe “Celebrity Preacher’s Apprentice.” But you have to be the “Survivor” on Survivor: Pulpit Island.
oops, sorry for misspelling Survivor.
The correct Fundy Spelling is Survivour.
Every character in Papyrus is like a tiny stab to my retinas.
Hmmm… cowbell preaching. Never heard of that. Must be before my time or popular in another region or something. We don’t have “popcorn preaching” at any of the churches I’ve attended. I thought that was just for the “preacher boys” at college or something.
Oh, I remember one more thing about the “popcorn preaching” (which was true of other revival services and conferences, too). Many people would commit to getting rid of objects that were causing them to sin (neglect soul winning, etc.)– like movies, video games, cell phones, T.V.s, computers, etc. — just to go back to the store and buy new ones a few weeks later.
I love this post.
The preacher puts his pants on one leg at a time, except when he does he makes golden messages.
– Twisted SNL Reference
All I got to say on this one is: MOO!
@Don: you just gave fundy churches across America ideas for their next “revival,” VBS, or some other conference.
Actually, If they had just stopped after Round 1, that would be preferable to what many of the fundy preacher subject us to. 5 preachers allocated 5 minutes each = 25 minutes. That’s about 35 minutes shorter than what most of us are subjected to.
“Just do it! … get busy for the Lord!”
Now that’s a message I can get behind! 😉
What in the world is “rapture practice” ? LOL
The first time I ever heard about this was on the I am an Independent Fundamental KJV only soul winning Baptist FB group. He described it as “good ole fashioned Baptist fun” where apparently you just go outside and jump as high as you can and hope the rapture takes place while you are jumping around. At some point you’d think they’d realize how ridiculous they are but they never do.
@Amanda
I’m just happy I can be a blessin’ in some small way. (he said with proud humility…)
@Jenny: in my experience “rapture practice” involves jumping up and down while singing “I’ll Fly Away.” I’m groaning just thinking about it.
@ Amanda Thanks! I forgot about the “I’ll Fly Away” Part.
Evangelist Lee Dean fires back on his Facebook page…
To view people’s responses click the link below…
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1798760954&v=wall
Needs more cowbell.
oh, this is priceless…
I just can’t write satire that is better than the real thing.
Cowbell preaching isn’t preaching, it’s making a mockery of the means that God has ordained to teach His people of Himself.
Lee Dean, you’re not being mocked for serving Christ, you’re being mocked for treating God’s Word as a game.
Yup, you point out one of their preaching gimmicks and now they’re “suffering.” You’re right Darrell, the responses speak for themselves.
Oh Yeah, another “Great American Martyr!”
I love the “I drank a cup of ‘I don’t give a rip’ to start my day!”
Nothing shows how little you care then posting it to your facebook (presumably so other people will reassure and validate you) and *insisting* how little you care…oh wait…
Apparently we’re “the devil’s crowd.” That’s interesting, considering that most of us here are Christians who are involved in our churches, have a high regard for the preaching of the Word, and long to see the world evangelized. Apparently that means we’re doing the devil’s work. Oh, that’s right – we’re not the “right” kind of Christians, so we must be dirty little heathens. Truth really IS stranger than fiction!
Hail fellow well met 🙂
Nobody persecuted you, Lee. It was pointed out that you were in a cowbell service, that you used Papyrus font, and that you use exclamation points liberally. That’s hardly another rendition of the Spanish Inquisition.
Mr. Dow,
I hope you don’t mind but I posted your very own comment before I’m posting this one so everyone can see your lies. You state there was no persecution of me. If I ever stated that this pathetic, little, sewage-spewing, joke of a website persecuted me, I gave it far too much credit. I may have to take half a baby aspirin to get over the headache you’ve caused me due to your lack of not having a life or desire to do anything for the God that I’ve given my life to. This little page with it’s 30-some comments has done far more than just, in your words “point out that I was in a cowbell service, that I used papyrus font, and that I use exclamation points liberally”. There are several, if not most, comments that mock the service that I was a part of on New Year’s Eve of this year. At least I was preaching the Gospel that night and giving hope, comfort, and reassurance to people. I also sang wonderful songs that really blessed folks that were in attendance. Question, what were you people doing that night?? Oh, let me guess, you were watching some idiotic ball drop at Times Square, right? Or at some idiotic party drinking, dancing, etc…. Here I am, out preaching God’s Word and singing for Him and you people have the audacity to criticize it and make fun of it??? Well guess what? Your comments, critiques, and complaints only want to make me go that much more full throttle for the LORD! I’m now going to get off here and go pray that God will save your souls from HELL and if you are saved, I’m going to pray that He’ll convict you for criticizing one of His servants and Men of God. God help you all.
Evangelist Lee Dean (304)633-0241 http://www.evangelistleedean.com lee_dean33@hotmail.com
Still needs more cowbell.
I feel like he’s more than made up for it with dog whistle
@Lee
I appreciate you signing me up for your newsletter even though I never asked to be (and even though there’s no link to opt out of it). It will be nice to be able to follow what you’re up to so I can keep the folks here apprised.
As for your wish that God will help us, He already has much more than you realize. But I doubt you’ll understand the irony.
Assuming that Lee’s comment is legit, wow. You really can’t make this stuff up!
If you had to take half a baby aspirin to get over the headache caused by this sight then I wonder why you troubled yourself to come back here and comment.
*site*
Oh, so he’s a spammer, too? Nice…
Mr. Dow,
You claim you never asked to receive an email from me in the form of a monthly update about my ministry. Funny, I never asked to be mocked, ridiculed, and pointed out on this depraved website either. Oh well……
Oh, and to A.P. Sullivan, the remark about taking a half of a baby aspirin was sarcasm. Keep the comments coming folks, I’ll be praying harder than ever and preaching harder than ever!!
God Bless,
Evangelist Lee Dean http://www.evangelistleedean.com lee_dean33@hotmail.com
The above A.P Sullivan comments were actually by me…I forgot to switch my hubby’s name out before commenting.
As a Christian growing up in the Ohio Valley (there are a lot of what you might consider “backwards” or “hillbilly” communities around here), I can understand how this might sound amusing to you all. I have to admit, when it’s characterized as “kitchen timers, cow bells, and dinner in between,” it is funny. And the mental image I got when alm517 described “rapture practice” had me roflmbo (“rolling on the floor laughing my butt off” for those unfamiliar with chat lingo)!
Bro. Dean, don’t take these comments personally. There’s a culture gap here and from an outsider’s point of view, it’s pretty funny-looking. And the majority of the comments aren’t specifically about your service, but about other rightly-described “ridiculous” practices that your ad reminded people of.
@ Lee-Exactly, sir, I recognize sarcasm believe it or not… but if it was of no consequence to you then I wonder why you resorted to name calling, belittling etc and coming back here. If you think we are the devil’s crowd and depraved then shouldn’t you separate yourself, as you profess you are commanded to do? If you think the way to counter us is to preach harder and pray harder, wouldn’t that be a better use of your time instead of returning and spamming Darrell? Do you think the God you profess to proclaim would have you wasting your time countering us or are you really wishing for a persecution story to tell as you go preach?
@OVCMA- happy to amuse you. I was rather amused by the description myself when I first heard it. 🙂 Also thanks for recognizing that we really weren’t ridiculing him, it could have been anyone really who participated in a “cowbell” service and the same comments would have been made. I never like to see any kind of trivialization of God’s word. I like it to be proclaimed for exactly what it says with all carefulness and seriousness.
I bet I know the topic of his next cowbell sermon!!!
Due to “our” perescution of cowbell services they have been made more holy and are more sanctified because of it. Cause anything that the “devil’s crowd is agin’ must be gawds most holy work.” Paise the blessed cowbell and the most holy kitchen timer…. ‘ding”…..NEXT!
I so have to add this clip…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxnFDaZ4WXE