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Unimaginative Sports Team Names

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eaglesSomewhere back in the beginning of fundamentalism (about two-thousand years ago, to hear them tell it) there was evidently a law made that if a fundamentalist church runs a Christians school, and if that school has a sports team it must bear the name Eagles, Crusaders, Knights, Warriors, or Conquerors.

Female teams will bear the name of their male counterparts with the word “Lady” affixed to the front to indicate the femininity of the players.

And these team shall bear one of the following colors: red-and-white, green-and-white, blue-and-white, or red-and-black. So shall it be without end, yea verily. So let it be written, so let it be done.

30 thoughts on “Unimaginative Sports Team Names”

  1. We must have not been true fundies. We were the Defenders … and our colors were crimson (for the blood that set me free) and gold (for my home in Heaven eternally).

  2. hmmm. . . i don’t think the “Lady” thing is a fundy thing. . . In highschool I played against other girl teams that were not from Christian Schools–public schools for that matter that were coined with “Lady”.

  3. Also stupid. Why don’t you let your fingers do the walking through your local high school directory.

    You really should research your stories better. This has nothing to do with being “fundy”, Hater.

  4. We were the Crusaders at my Fundy school. Really, where did they come up with that? Historical irony, anyone?

  5. We had a contest to name our Christian school team. I won. We were the Raiders and our colors were blue-and-white (like our school uniforms). My classmate Peter drew the logo of a helmeted knight on a horse with a javelin/spear.

  9. High school: Warriors (green & white) The only cheerleaders in the league with skirts down to their knees and LONG-sleeved sweaters. Never understood why the guys on the basketball got to wear sleeveless tanks and shorts, while the cheerleaders risked heat exhaustion on the sidelines.
    College: Defenders (blue & white)

  10. I never thought about this before, but wow did it hit home. My junior high was the crusaders, but HS we graduated to Kights, and out colors were red and white for JH, and Black and Red for HS, and the girls team was the lady nights.

    I just got chills 🙂

      1. Lol! Lady Knights. I’m almost positive whoever farkus is/was went to the same Fundy school both Mark Rosedale and I went to!

        1. Rob – I think farkus is Mark. If you hover on the name it shows marknlynn.com which I think is Mark’s website?

  12. My school had the Minutemen. The girls were Minutemen too – which was kind of weird thinking back on it. “Green & gold, we are bold, we’ve got spirit that’s untold!”

  13. I went to several schools around the country, High School, College, teaching in High School again. All of them were the Blue and White Eagles. Yawn. I always thought pastor’s wives had to be named Barbara or Debbie and play the piano too.

  14. My school was the Warriors, and 3-4ths of the schools we played were the Eagles. There was one oddball school that was the Bulldogs.
    By the way, WE were more spiritual than most of you all. We wore T-shirts with sleeves and long pants to play basketball in. 🙄

  15. This may be off-topic, but I’ve always thought the custom calling the girls’ team “the Lady Whatevers” was odd. Why not just call them “the Ostriches” (like the boys’ team) instead of “the Lady Ostriches”? I’ve never heard a male team called “the Gentlemen Ostriches.”
    Anyway, this results in some hilarious names like the Lady Bulls, the Lady Rams, and the Lady Stallions (I’ve seen all these names and more). I mean, aren’t those logical impossibilities?

  16. JTR is cracking me up, two years later. He comes on and ridicules, takes offense at every post, and doesn’t try to logically comment, just hate hate hate!! Which is what he says Darrell’s doing. Entertaining.

    My siblings’ school must be modern then lol They’re the Berean Hurricanes, colors burgundy and black. I’ve never gone to one of their volleyball games, so not sure if they say Lady Hurricanes.

  18. Darrell, you are right on with this one. My school was the Warriors, and we were red and white. The red was for the blood of Jesus, and the white was for how He washed us white as snow.

    So why was every chapel service an exercise in telling us what sinners we were and trying to save us every week? 😕

    1. Just try washing clothes in blood instead of water. I guarantee they won’t come out white.

  19. My half a foot away from being fundy (independent Christian church/church of Christ rather than independant baptist) Bible college was, I kid you not, the Parsons. Blue and gold. At one time there was a mural of a skinny dude with a big Adam’s apple wearing a suit with high water pants and spinning a basketball on the corner of his upraised Bible. Let’s just say they had no delusions that they were great athletes or anything other than a bunch of preacher boys.

  20. We were the Minutemen. I didn’t understand all the jokes at our teams’ expense at the time. Now I do.

  21. At my fundy HS we were the Warriors, red and white. (I’m wondering if Michelle went to my school..?) Anyway, in the same metro area was another fundy HS (started by people who’d originally been part of the church that housed my school), and what did they choose? Warriors, red and white. 🙄 Which got confusing when the 2 schools would play each other….

  22. Our volleyball team was the “Lady” Falcons. Nevermind that our school didn’t have any boys’ sports teams so we could have easily been just called the Falcons. Everyone needs to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we’re female. The culottes and French manicures might not be enough!

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