There are two major schools of song-leading in fundy churches. The first is prone to singing every…single…verse…with all of the unbridled energy of a man building his own gallows. When these folks sing “when we’ve been there 10,000 years” they’re not kidding.

The other method of singing hymns is to religiously omit the third verse to every song. If the song contains five verses, the fourth verse may likely meet the same ignominious fate. One can only imagine that the middle verses to every hymn have been infected by liberal agents with subliminal suggestions that might result in clapping, swaying, or other mortal sins of the flesh.

Modern hymn writers, note this well. My advice is just to omit writing a third verse altogether and replace it instead with single line that says “All together now on the last.” It’s what is going to happen anyway.