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Yes, in case you were wondering, I’m purposely being provocative.

With the dreadful lack of education and information available about sex and the constant dire warnings that misusing it will lead to the destruction of your eternal soul, it’s not hard to see why fundamentalists have a lot of doubts and questions about what exactly they’re allowed to do when it comes to sex. Not that they actually ask anybody, mind you, they just spend lots of time feeling guilty about…whatever it is. In fundyland even thinking to ask a question may be a sign that you’re a total pervert and it’s better not to take the chance.

It might seem strange that two married adults (of the opposite sex, even!) would be worried that their private and consensual activities might somehow offend the sensibilities of their pastor or church. But that kind of fear is actually pretty normal in fundamentalism. If the powers that be in fundamentalism can regulate what’s in a person’s wardrobe, refrigerator, and movie collection then is it really so strange that someone might worry that they’ll judge what goes on in your bedroom (or kitchen, shower, Waffle House, or wherever the spirit moves you)?

This fear and guilt leaves amorous fundamentalists with far more questions than answers.

Can we…?

What about using a…?

And then is it ok to say…?

What about trying…?

As an answer to all these and whatever other questions may have popped into your head in the last ten seconds, allow me to borrow a little bit from the 10th Amendment to the US constitution: “The right to do all kinds of sexy fun time stuff that is not explicitly commanded by the Scripture, nor prohibited by it is reserved to any couple’s best judgment, consensual agreement, and basic common sense.”

How about this? Love each other. Submit yourself to one another. Do unto each other as you would have them do unto you…and then just have fun. When it comes right down to it, that’s what sex is really supposed to be all about.
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