Although they are more prevalent in some circles than others, at some point almost every fundamentalist is called upon to witness the spectacle of “the skit.” These diminutive dramas may appear in just about any venue from youth rallies to valentines banquets to that really awkward service where we had the contest on who could bring the most visitors and now we feel like since they’re here we should do something entertaining.

There are two basic types of skits, the first being The Slapstick Comedy. This type of skit is used as a crowd warm up and involves the kind of pratfalls and gags that were considered the height of comedy about one hundred years ago. This may include shaving cream pies, banana peels, and drinking water that has been gargled by someone else. It’s generally somewhere below knock-knock jokes and Bazooka gum riddles on the comedy scale.

The second type of skit is the morality play. Someone representing the Christian everyman confronts some sort of moral crisis resulting in their need to do battle with the powers of darkness in order to remain pure, sober, and in the center of God’s perfect will. This may involve saying no to bad friends (easily spotted by their backwards baseball caps) who encourage moral failures such as cheating on tests, staying up past 9, and attending wild parties with square dancing and punch bowls. Realism is key here.

No acting skills are required to participate in these skits; the only ability needed is availability. Well, that an absolutely no sense of self-preservation or dignity. Make sure to shut your eyes when the shaving cream pie comes sailing in. That stuff stings.