Fundamentalists are not content to stop at merely straining at a gnats. In fact, they’ll not rest until they’ve preached an entire series of messages on the only true biblical gnat catching techniques, written a textbook for their local Bible college on Gnatology 101, and separated from at least one other organization in a dispute over which gnats are the pure descendants of those used in the early New Testament local church.

Why did the Shunammite woman’s son sneeze seven times?

Why did David pick up five smooth stones?

Why did John outrun Peter to the tomb?

Not only does a fundamentalist have the answer for these, he has the only one true and right answer. Without these correct interpretations of the most obscures details of Scripture you will be doomed to wrongly divide the Word and wander in the darkness outside the camp. Your entire life may come to shipwreck because you guessed the wrong answer to what burden of Dumah was.

No detail is too insignificant to ignore or debate. There is simply no fight that is not worth fighting to the last man.