Are you letting your expectations come from God, my fundamentalist friend? If you do then you will never be disappointed or sad!

Yes, I know that you have just been through a terrible tragedy and suffered a blow to your spirit. But if your expectations had come from God instead of yourself you wouldn’t be taking it so hard. Smile bravely, brother, and just let go of all the silly hopes and dreams for the future you used to have!

I mean, it’s rough to have a relationship end in a messy way and the fact that she burned your house down when she left certainly can’t help matters either. And it is a real shame about your dog (but it’s just as well since now you don’t have a truck for him to ride in anymore and he would have been sad without those truck rides). Just think, some good will surely come of all this. You probably narrowly dodged a bullet — and there I’m speaking of a metaphorical spiritual bullet of some greater evil and not the actual shots she fired at you.

You might see better days ahead as long as you don’t expect too much. Buck up! Turn that frown upside down! God’s expectations about simple decency in human conduct are evidently really low and yours should be too. Just learn to expect less. Once hope dies the rest is easy.