Ask any fundamentalist if dancing is a sin and you’ll likely receive a lecture on the sensuality and lust that is provoked when movements are set to music. The fact that a child of two will bop to the music of Sesame Street is seen as evidence both that the child has a radically corrupt sin nature and that Sesame Street is likely run by homosexual Communists.

Yet for all that, many fundamentalists enjoy a large amount of dancing, provided that the folks who are doing it are in a movie that is at least fifty years old or on the Lawrence Welk show. Fred and Ginger’s taps and twirls and Danny Kaye’s soft shoe routines are a staple of many fundamentalist video libraries. Time sanctifies all things.

There’s no doubt that those dances were much more genteel than the popular moves of this era. But can anyone imagine the uproar if ballroom dancing classes were offered at a fundamentalist college? Unless, of course, it’s in aid of a Gilbert and Sullivan musical. As one college music teacher explained “this isn’t choreography — it’s structured movement.” Well that explains everything then.

The fundamentalist proudly proclaims that “A dancing foot and a praying knee are not found on the same leg.” Unless that leg is part of a production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

many thanks to James for the idea