If you’ve ever opened your Bible up a random and stuck your finger on the page hoping to find the answer to a pressing question then you are well acquainted with the practice of Bibliomancy. Fundies are often not content to merely apply the principles as laid out in the Scriptures but often read the Bible looking for some special application of a verse to their specific situation. The more obscure corners of the Old Testament is a particularly rich feeding ground for this sort of divination.

The applications derived from Bibliomancy can range from amusing to downright scary. Verses ripped from their context can be seen as Divine endorsement for everything from switching jobs to whom to marry, or what to have for dinner. In that last case, one can only hope that the verse consulted was not Ezekiel 4:12.

Perhaps not only verses but even the chapter divisions may be consulted for direction as in the case of the old joke about a man who found himself in financial trouble and opened his Bible at random to find the words “Chapter 11” emblazoned before him. As a last resort, maybe even the full color maps displaying the Journeys of Paul can be pressed into prophetic service.

Every word may be perfectly preserved in the King James Bible but evidently what those words mean depends greatly on what a person needs them to say at the moment.