Category Archives: Websites

FWOTW: applebybaptistchurch.com

This week’s website is the home of Appleby Baptist Church in Nacogdoches, TX and it hits all the fundy high notes in style. Don’t miss the Christ-honoring sermons with titles like “When He is a whoremonger- When she is a whore” and “400 Years ago and the KJ Bible is still so.” (Still so what we might never know but I’m sure it’s lovely.)

Also don’t miss the standard Church Covenant, blatant copyright violations on their music page, and gospel-filled articles with titles like “Interracial Marriages in Light of the Scriptures” and “Baptist Preachers and N—–r Jokes.”

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Rules Concerning Online Discussions

And when it shall come to pass that thou shalt gird up thy loins and dial up thy service provider with thy modem wherewith to spread the Gospel via e-mail forwards that are almost certainly true, that thou shalt take heed undo the words of this book to follow its commandments for thine own Internet safety. For in the day that thou shalt let thy mouse finger issue an errant click, thou shalt certainly be in a whole heap of trouble.

Knowing this that the World Wide Web is a pit of sore evil and is full of scoffers and mockers and King James deniers and even such as will claim that the old paths could really use some repaving. Thou shalt not read their blogs, or surf their pages, or look at them on the Twitter for they shall surely turn thy heart away from The Truth as was given to thee by thy pastor in his books (which are available on a table in the back of the auditorium after every service).

And if thou shalt be a goodly man and a brave soul such as is fit to do battle forces of liberalism and darkness then thou mayest leave comments and replies on the blogs and websites of scoffers but thou shalt in no wise stay for long for we don’t really do much actual dialog with people in general. And if thou shalt start a blog or a website wherein thou shalt uphold the standards of thy fathers and smite the wicked with clever words and creative spelling then thou shalt not in any case allow those enemies of the old time bible preaching soul winning way to comment or discuss whatsoever thou shalt write.

For in the day that thou shalt start “a dialog” and allow such manner of folk to use “logic” and present thee with trick questions and clever defenses of their sinful lack of standards and liberal lifestyles then shalt thy foot slip in due time and thou shalt begin to doubt. And then we shall all be forced to write blog posts about thee and will not hear thy entreating to allow thee to explain and shall delete thy forum memberships and ban thy posts.

For dissent is the unpardonable sin and an open and honest discussion is like unto it.

Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements, Appendix I.

The Street Preacher’s Manual


**Some pages may contain embedded audio.**

Although we featured soulwinning.info as a FWOTW over a year ago, someone recently sent me a link to this page which is was featured on that larger website. How could I possible resist sharing a manual on street preaching that is featured on chick.com?

What’s really interesting about this manual is that the author is obviously trying to to appear reasonable and nice. He purports to stand against obnoxious evangelism techniques while he himself uses slurs and recalls the time he was tempted to preach “on integration” at a civil right rally.

I salute you, Gerald Sutek. You’re a cautionary tale to us all. Be sure to check out the rest of the content on streetpreaching.com as well

Update 1: Do be sure to check out the photos page as well for lost more fundy goodness.

Update 2: A big shout out to Rob James who sent this link along! Thanks.

FWOTW: martincookministries.homestead.com

Welcome to the website of Martin “Marty” Cook. Marty is real mensch as evidenced by his list of wins at the bottom of his home page including Over 5,000 professions of faith and a personal high bus attendance of 360. You can also peruse his list of favorite bus kids names, some poetry about bus kids, and Gospel magic that one would assume he performs for bus kids.

It was also from his links page that I learned about this cool new search engine named “Google.” I’ll definitely have to check that out.

FWOTW: evangelistjohnnhamblin.com

**Music Autoplay Warning**

This site is the epitome of a fundamentalist managawds altar to himself. John’s favorite pictures mostly feature…John. John and a regular rogues gallery of fundies including the infamous hatemonger and racist Phil Kidd. Don’t miss the picture of John and his wife being taken to dinner in a stretch Hummer. How humble can you get?

But the self-love doesn’t end there. There’s an ALL CAPS BIO and the poem that someone wrote him to celebrate 30 years of his ministry. And he even lists himself among his favorite quotes.

And his preaching style? Well, judge for yourself…