An alert SFL reader sent me a link to contendforthefaith.ca, wherein I learned that Canadians have their own crazy fundamentalists. Who knew?

One of the highlights of this site was the section on Spiritual Service Standards, which purport to be a guide for the behavior of people in ministry. As the author writes:

“In the face or today’s drift from Scriptural principles, it is our desire to maintain the highest level of spiritual ministry in the Christian service of our Church, and to maintain a pure testimony for Christ in every phase of its life.”

Here are the proof texts given for avoiding particular behaviors deemed to be a bad testimony. You can find them on pages 5 and 6 of the original document(PDF). Once you begin to read the “Scriptural principles” presented, however, it’s hard to determine exactly how the quoted verses “prove” anything.

sale or use of alcoholic beverages or illegal drugs

1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

1 Thessalonians 5:6 Therefore let us not sleep, as [do] others; but let us watch and be sober.

gambling

Exodus 20:15 Thou shalt not steal.

Proverbs 28:8 He that by usury and unjust gain increaseth his substance, he shall gather it for him that will pity the poor.

1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

use of tobacco

1 Corinthians 6:12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

social dancing of any type

1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

1 Peter 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech [you] as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

attendance at commercial movie theaters

Psalm 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; [it] shall not cleave to me.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

viewing of carnal videos

Psalm 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; [it] shall not cleave to me.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

carnal-radio, carnal theater, and carnal television programs

1 Peter 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech [you] as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

Psalm 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; [it] shall not cleave to me.

carnal music

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

carnal literature

Psalm 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; [it] shall not cleave to me.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.

1 Peter 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech [you] as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

worldly card playing

1 Thessalonians 5:23 And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and [I pray God] your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 John 2:15-17 Love not the world, neither the things [that are] in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.