Exegesis? We don’t need no stinkin’ exegesis!
Category Archives: Sermons
Bashing Mental Health Professionals
We’ve featured this kind of thing here before but it’s worth visiting again.
Ryan Price, PCC Grad and pastor of Fort Lauderdale Baptist Church breaks it down for us and then throws in some dispensationalism gratis. (as an added bonus, check out that flag!).
I have a feeling this isn’t the last this blog has seen of Ryan.
Titus 2:3-6 (Especially The Parts About Women)
David Grice riffs on some familiar themes with his own unique panache…
Illustration: The Drawbridge Keeper’s Son
Once upon a time there was a drawbridge by which a train would cross a perilous chasm. And at that drawbridge was a keeper who’s job it was to lower the drawbridge in order that the train might pass unharmed.
Now it just so happened that it was a sunny Tuesday morning when the father got the bright idea to bring his only son to work with him and let the boy wedge himself between the gears of the drawbridge lowering mechanism.
“Gadzooks!” exclaimed the father suddenly, “I just remembered that it’s time for a train to come through and now I’ve got to lower the drawbridge and crush you to death so that train full of strangers can live.”
So he does exactly that. This certainly doesn’t do the boy a whole lot of good and one can only imagine it doesn’t do the drawbridge gears any favors either. But the train is saved and goes through completely unaware of what has happened and nobody even bothers to stop and say “thank you” or send a fruit basket.
Somehow or another this is just like Christ dying to save humanity (not to mention providing great discussions for philosophy classes) which evidently was also a horrible accident.
Please pass out the tissues and turn to #365 in your Hymnals, Just as I Am.
Preaching to the Converted
Although fundamentalists love sermons on sin of the outrageous and titillating variety, they very often lack any openly practicing sinners in their midst. This results in the odd circumstance of pastors preaching entire sermons on a topics that ostensibly apply to nobody who is listening; it’s like  a sort of  National Geographic tour of the wastelands of iniquity so curious Christians can be suitably shocked.
Perhaps you too have enjoyed the pleasure of sitting in a youth group consisting of three pastor’s kids, one youth pastor’s son, and one child of a visiting missionary.  Not at all deterred by the apparent squeaky cleanness of  his audience, the speaker will still treat those present to a forty-five minute tirade in which the speaker insinuated that most of those present were probably 1) practitioners of witchcraft 2)drug addicts or 3)passing notes during the sermon instead of paying attention.
Yet somehow in the throes of condemning those not present, the real sin in the camp goes unnoticed. Given the average audience in a fundy church it would seem that sermons on gays, Â ganja, and gambling would give place to more relevant sermons on things like gossip, gluttony, or greed. But it’s just so much easier to convince those who are already converted.
image found at sacredsandwich.com